horror story feedback

[tigcub]

I posted my first horror story the other day. I had been in a very dark mood the night I wrote it. I never read in the horror section so I don't really know what most of the stories are even about. Meet Joe just flowed from me one dark night.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=325125

The only feedback I have gotten said I was sick. Oh well aren't we all a little sick at times. At least I got a reacton from the reader. They said they wanted to vomit after reading the story but they liked the way it was written. What is really scarry is I don't think I am any sicker than anyone else walking the streets. LOL I am new to writting erotic stories. I would enjoy any and all feedback. Warning don't read it if your looking for a huggy huggy kissy kissy story. This story is about need, lust, and blood. I thought it wa pretty good horror buy I am very bias. Thanks Joanna AKA tigcub

 

[yukonnights]

I would read it and comment, BUT I just can't do horror. The images stay with me too long. (But at least I answered your post)

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

TIGCUB

The response you got is typical. Stephen King gets it, too.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Never worry about the trolls. If they have found you, you have arrived.

Now, your story. I found it rather boring, actually. There really wasn't much new there - Just a rehash of the same old vampire stories that have been around for years. Not that that is necessarily a bad thing.

I found the story to be somewhat disorganized. My impression is I wonder if you had a clear idea of what this story was about when you wrote it. Is this about the vampire and his girlfriend? Or is it about the brutal rape and murder of Mary, the victim?

The girl friend is treated like a background character where you should have made her much more fully developed.

But not a bad start for a first time. Keep it up.

 

[cloudy]

Erotic Horror is probably my favorite category to write, and I've done fairly well with it. I'll try to take a look at your story later on.

 

[LadyCibelle]

One word: Change editor fast! Your story is full of spelling, grammar, punctuation and syntax mistakes.

 

[tigcub]

Thank you

I found the story to be somewhat disorganized. My impression is I wonder if you had a clear idea of what this story was about when you wrote it. Is this about the vampire and his girlfriend? Or is it about the brutal rape and murder of Mary, the victim?

The girl friend is treated like a background character where you should have made her much more fully developed.

Well. I don't read vampire stuff so I wouldn't know if it is rehash or not. I felt like it was about how we all have a dark side . Even the darked monster has a soft spot. To Brandy, Joe is her lover and companion. To Kathy he is a monster. To Joe, Brandy is his sun, his bright light in a dark existance. Kathy is just food, a disposable drinking cup to use crush and toss away. I like Brandy too. I want to expore her in more detail maybe later.