Honest Feedback Please

[wildsweetone]

I've had a few feedback responses from the story An Ideal World through my feedback offer thread.

I'd like to know what more people think please.

here's the link

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=47462

sorry my pc has a darn hissy fit yet again. hope this works now.

btw i don't expect those who have already given feedback on this story to repost here. thanks

 

[penguindance]

 

[wildsweetone]

sorry,

all fixed now

 

[wildsweetone]

ok here is the link again.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=47462

i'd appreciate some feedback from readers and authors who haven't already offered feedback.

(i am away between my 22nd and 28/29th May)

 

[ladyphoenix]

Wild,
Honestly, my reaction is to say I don't really have much of a reaction. I think that I go into every story expecting certain things: character, plot. Sex, considering the site. Overall, a good, engrossing read.
I'm not sure what the point of this story was, and that bothered me most of all. The transition from cleaning lady to lover was so abrupt it made me wince. The same is true for the lovemaking.
However, I thought, hey...the story's just starting, so I kept reading. The next thing was the HUGE coincidence that this man just happened to have slept with his own daughter, and the girl's mother, who he just happened to be thinking of, shows up to tell him.
Is this Incest? Erotic Couplings? Interracial? It's sort of all, and none of any of them. It left me thinking, "why would someone write that?". I'm sure you have an answer for that, but we readers aren't fortunate enough to have insight into your brain about your story. All we get is the end result, and honestly, this left me confused. Not something to leave a reader chewing on. Sorry, but the characters were flat. The plot was non-existent, and whatever your point was, it was lost.

 

[wildsweetone]

ladyphoenix, thank you. that's what i needed to hear.