Holy Orgy Batman!!! It's the Batman story!!
- Thread starter KillerMuffin
- Start date
KillerMuffin
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Someone got the watering the ivy pun!! Okay so it WAS stupid...
*At Lois Lane's hotel room at the Excelsior...*
"C'mon Superman, get a move on, we gotta go, up n at em big guy!"
*rolling over and groaning* "Oh gawd Lois, five more minutes*
"I already let you sleep for two hours, we gotta get to Laurel and Manu's, the stakeout, remember? C'mon, you're the man of steel."
"I'm the man of the limp noodle. I'm not taking another shower with you until this is done Lois. You're worse than kryptonite."
"Then I'll just have give Bruce a call."
"Ha. What makes you think he can handle you?"
"I was thinking of both of you."
"There is no way I'm getting in this bed with another man present."
"Anyway, we have to go stakeout Literotica. Something fishy is going on and I want to know what it is."
*At Lois Lane's hotel room at the Excelsior...*
"C'mon Superman, get a move on, we gotta go, up n at em big guy!"
*rolling over and groaning* "Oh gawd Lois, five more minutes*
"I already let you sleep for two hours, we gotta get to Laurel and Manu's, the stakeout, remember? C'mon, you're the man of steel."
"I'm the man of the limp noodle. I'm not taking another shower with you until this is done Lois. You're worse than kryptonite."
"Then I'll just have give Bruce a call."
"Ha. What makes you think he can handle you?"
"I was thinking of both of you."
"There is no way I'm getting in this bed with another man present."
"Anyway, we have to go stakeout Literotica. Something fishy is going on and I want to know what it is."
Bushido71XS
Angel Soul, Devil Heart
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Superman, is not the man of limp noodle. It's like blued steel, a cat couldn't scratch it!!!!!! LMAOOOO
KillerMuffin
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See DCL's pic on Slut-Boy's thread, proof pic that he is Batman
*At the Lexcorp suite in the Excelsior...*
"C'mon chromedome, lemme go!!"
"Shut up Muff."
"NO! Lemme go!!! I'm sposed to meet Joker and Harl down at the HoJo in about ten minutes!"
"Mercy, get the car. We're going to have a talk with the Joker."
"Yes Lex."
"Dayamn sis, where'd you pick this guy up??"
"Shut up Muff. Mercy, the car."
*At the Howard Johnson across town, over near the physical location of Literotica...*
"Damn Thumper, again?"
"I'm the energizer bunny. Besides, muff is late, why waste time?"
*The door slams open* "Hey kiddies, where's Muffin?"
"She's hasn't come back yet Joker. Harlequin? Loooved the pic on the site, that catsuit whew."
"Thanks Hunny."
"Well, Muff better get here fast or we're taking off without her. Tonight... Literotica..."
*At the Lexcorp suite in the Excelsior...*
"C'mon chromedome, lemme go!!"
"Shut up Muff."
"NO! Lemme go!!! I'm sposed to meet Joker and Harl down at the HoJo in about ten minutes!"
"Mercy, get the car. We're going to have a talk with the Joker."
"Yes Lex."
"Dayamn sis, where'd you pick this guy up??"
"Shut up Muff. Mercy, the car."
*At the Howard Johnson across town, over near the physical location of Literotica...*
"Damn Thumper, again?"
"I'm the energizer bunny. Besides, muff is late, why waste time?"
*The door slams open* "Hey kiddies, where's Muffin?"
"She's hasn't come back yet Joker. Harlequin? Loooved the pic on the site, that catsuit whew."
"Thanks Hunny."
"Well, Muff better get here fast or we're taking off without her. Tonight... Literotica..."
Naked Hunny
Postwoman
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What the hell was this doing on page 3 Muff i think you need to add another part to the story!!!
KillerMuffin
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Holy rent by the hour hotel rooms Batman!!! This story is still going!
*At the Wayne penthouse suite...*
"Batgirl, you should have stayed behind in Gotham. Commissioner Gordon needs you."
"Dad is fine Bruce. He's been posting more than ever."
"More than Never?"
"No, more than ever. Dad is Never."
"I never knew that. Alfred, any word on the boards about what might be going on?"
"Expertise has a thread called Pull Up a Chair Sir, you may want to look it over."
*Moments later...*
"Interesting. Batgirl, Robin, notice that Naked Hunny has mentioned something about Killer and her hijacking..."
"Holy terrorists Batman! What does this mean?"
"It means we're going down to Literotica tonight. Something strange about this whole thread."
*At the Wayne penthouse suite...*
"Batgirl, you should have stayed behind in Gotham. Commissioner Gordon needs you."
"Dad is fine Bruce. He's been posting more than ever."
"More than Never?"
"No, more than ever. Dad is Never."
"I never knew that. Alfred, any word on the boards about what might be going on?"
"Expertise has a thread called Pull Up a Chair Sir, you may want to look it over."
*Moments later...*
"Interesting. Batgirl, Robin, notice that Naked Hunny has mentioned something about Killer and her hijacking..."
"Holy terrorists Batman! What does this mean?"
"It means we're going down to Literotica tonight. Something strange about this whole thread."
KillerMuffin
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I wonder where the tortoises are....?
*Inside a small suburban home in San Diego...*
"Laurel? Why does the street look like a used car sale? Who the hell are all those people?"
"What? Where?"
"Look out the window babe."
"Holy egyptian tortoises Manu. There's like 8 cars and a truck out there. That kinda looks like the truck pic Killer put on Skitten's thread..."
*Reaching for Laurel's sexy ass...* "I'd rather look at something else babe. You can do a little work on the new scripts later."
"Weird Harold is..."
"He can wait."
*Outside in the Batmobile, Batman sits with the Boy Wonder and the ever wiggling Batgirl, binos trained on the shadowy figures in the window.*
"I wonder where the tortoises are when they do that."
"That's pretty sick Bruce. You've been in too many commercials."
"Go wiggle for Lasher Nicole. It was just a thought."
"Any sign of the Joker?"
"I don't see anyone else here but us Robin. Keep your eyes peeled."
*Inside a small suburban home in San Diego...*
"Laurel? Why does the street look like a used car sale? Who the hell are all those people?"
"What? Where?"
"Look out the window babe."
"Holy egyptian tortoises Manu. There's like 8 cars and a truck out there. That kinda looks like the truck pic Killer put on Skitten's thread..."
*Reaching for Laurel's sexy ass...* "I'd rather look at something else babe. You can do a little work on the new scripts later."
"Weird Harold is..."
"He can wait."
*Outside in the Batmobile, Batman sits with the Boy Wonder and the ever wiggling Batgirl, binos trained on the shadowy figures in the window.*
"I wonder where the tortoises are when they do that."
"That's pretty sick Bruce. You've been in too many commercials."
"Go wiggle for Lasher Nicole. It was just a thought."
"Any sign of the Joker?"
"I don't see anyone else here but us Robin. Keep your eyes peeled."
KillerMuffin
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The Joker revealed his secret on another thread... not so bad after all hmmm?
*Just up the street from Laurel and Manu's residence...*
"That's Lex Luthor's limo."
"And theres the Batfreak. Of all the times to have a pest control problem."
"He's no match for you Puddin'."
"Is that Muff comin out of old baldy's Limo?"
"Sure looks like it Mr. J."
*At the Luthor limo...*
"What the hell are ya'll doin chromedome?"
"Shut up Muff. This damned street looks like a damned parking lot. Mercy, park the car and meet us at the door. Keep your eyes open for that flying boyscout in spandex."
"Yes Lex."
"Owww!!! Let go of me! Damn I gotta frickin blue tick with more manners."
"Shut up Muff. All you had to do was tell me what the Joker was up to."
"I TOLD you, ya'll need ta clean out yer ears. He's gonna save Literotica."
"Shut up Muff."
*The door is opened several minutes later by a very perturbed looking Laurel.*
"What?"
"Hey Laurel, its me, KillerMuffin. This jackass is Lex."
"Luthor?"
"Yes Ms. Laurel. We are here concerning Literotica. May we come in?"
*Just up the street from Laurel and Manu's residence...*
"That's Lex Luthor's limo."
"And theres the Batfreak. Of all the times to have a pest control problem."
"He's no match for you Puddin'."
"Is that Muff comin out of old baldy's Limo?"
"Sure looks like it Mr. J."
*At the Luthor limo...*
"What the hell are ya'll doin chromedome?"
"Shut up Muff. This damned street looks like a damned parking lot. Mercy, park the car and meet us at the door. Keep your eyes open for that flying boyscout in spandex."
"Yes Lex."
"Owww!!! Let go of me! Damn I gotta frickin blue tick with more manners."
"Shut up Muff. All you had to do was tell me what the Joker was up to."
"I TOLD you, ya'll need ta clean out yer ears. He's gonna save Literotica."
"Shut up Muff."
*The door is opened several minutes later by a very perturbed looking Laurel.*
"What?"
"Hey Laurel, its me, KillerMuffin. This jackass is Lex."
"Luthor?"
"Yes Ms. Laurel. We are here concerning Literotica. May we come in?"
KillerMuffin
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If the Joker saves lit, does that make him a good guy???
*On the rooftop of the house across the street, staring through binoculors...*
"Mrrroooowrr. What is baldy doing?"
"What's going on?"
"Mmmmmrrrrrrr. Laurel just let Luthor in with some kitty I don't recognize."
"Let me see." *Jerking the binos* "Thats KillerMuffin! The Joker is around somewhere, Batbreath must be too."
"Who is the Joker?"
"I'm just a lowly country divorce lawyer, why ask me?"
"Lasher knows that you know Harveykins. Pppprrrrrrrrr. I want to know who he is."
"Don't call me that Selena. My name is TwoFace."
"Sure Flamingo baby. Let's go find out what baldy is up to."
*Down on the street in the Riddler and Naked Hunny's rented Ford Festiva...*
"Hey! That was Muff! What's she doing?"
"Muff? Where? We're supposed to wait for the Joker."
"Muff said he was coming. He should be here by now. I don't see him."
"Congrats on reaching a 1000 posts Nek, have I given you your congratulatory kiss yet?"
"No Thumpy, you haven't."
"Spread your legs my little Hunny Bunny."
"Well, I certainly hope you don't intend to congratulate ME that way when I reach my 1,000. I am almost there. AHAHAHahahahahahahahahahah!"
"Joker!"
*On the rooftop of the house across the street, staring through binoculors...*
"Mrrroooowrr. What is baldy doing?"
"What's going on?"
"Mmmmmrrrrrrr. Laurel just let Luthor in with some kitty I don't recognize."
"Let me see." *Jerking the binos* "Thats KillerMuffin! The Joker is around somewhere, Batbreath must be too."
"Who is the Joker?"
"I'm just a lowly country divorce lawyer, why ask me?"
"Lasher knows that you know Harveykins. Pppprrrrrrrrr. I want to know who he is."
"Don't call me that Selena. My name is TwoFace."
"Sure Flamingo baby. Let's go find out what baldy is up to."
*Down on the street in the Riddler and Naked Hunny's rented Ford Festiva...*
"Hey! That was Muff! What's she doing?"
"Muff? Where? We're supposed to wait for the Joker."
"Muff said he was coming. He should be here by now. I don't see him."
"Congrats on reaching a 1000 posts Nek, have I given you your congratulatory kiss yet?"
"No Thumpy, you haven't."
"Spread your legs my little Hunny Bunny."
"Well, I certainly hope you don't intend to congratulate ME that way when I reach my 1,000. I am almost there. AHAHAHahahahahahahahahahah!"
"Joker!"
Naked Hunny
Postwoman
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OOHHHH Thumper is between my legs god makes me wish that this Batman thread was actually true!! WOWSIE!!
KillerMuffin
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*At the Batmobile...*
"Hello Batsy."
"Selena? What are you doing here?"
"Meeeeowwwwww Batsy. Is that anyway to greet your old lover, lover? Where's the skinny on Expertise you promised. It has been positively weeks and this kitty hates to wait."
"I haven't been able to find anything. He's Canadian."
"I knew that already batsy. I want pictures. Naked ones. You owe me lover, now its time to pay the kitty."
*Under a window at Laurel's house...*
"What did you want with Batbreath? He's the enemy Catwoman."
"He owes me. Whats going on in there?"
"Owes you what?"
*Irritated* "Information on Expertise."
"What? Why Expertise? What kind of information?"
"Mrrrowr. What do you know about Expertise Harveykins?"
*Looking through the window* "Lex's pet killer Mercy showed up."
"What do you know about Expertise?"
"Hello Batsy."
"Selena? What are you doing here?"
"Meeeeowwwwww Batsy. Is that anyway to greet your old lover, lover? Where's the skinny on Expertise you promised. It has been positively weeks and this kitty hates to wait."
"I haven't been able to find anything. He's Canadian."
"I knew that already batsy. I want pictures. Naked ones. You owe me lover, now its time to pay the kitty."
*Under a window at Laurel's house...*
"What did you want with Batbreath? He's the enemy Catwoman."
"He owes me. Whats going on in there?"
"Owes you what?"
*Irritated* "Information on Expertise."
"What? Why Expertise? What kind of information?"
"Mrrrowr. What do you know about Expertise Harveykins?"
*Looking through the window* "Lex's pet killer Mercy showed up."
"What do you know about Expertise?"
MistressSin
Experienced
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Damn side hurts from laughin so hard
I hate to interrupt this wonderful story but this it way to funny! Muffin you have a great imagination and sense of humor! keep it up!
I hate to interrupt this wonderful story but this it way to funny! Muffin you have a great imagination and sense of humor! keep it up!
KillerMuffin
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*In Lois Lane's rented midnight blue BMW Z3 convertible...*
"Thats Luthor. Whats he doing??"
"He's in there with some woman, Mercy, and it looks like Laurel and Manu. They're arguing."
"Lets go check it out."
"Lois!!"
*At the door...*
"Yes?"
"Ms. Laurel? I'm Lois Lane with the Daily Planet, I was wondering if I might come in and have a word with you?"
"Sure why not. Everyone else is."
*At the Batmobile...*
"Holy spandex wedgies Batman! Thats Superman and Lois Lane!"
"They went in the house Robin. Lets go!"
*At the door...*
"Yes??"
"Ms. Laurel, may we come in?"
*sighing* "Sure, join the orgy."
"Orgy? We aren't too late for it are we?"
"Batgirl, mind on business."
*Yelling into the darkened, quiet neighborhood* "ANYONE ELSE WANNA COME IN???"
"Its not safe Ms. Laurel. The Joker is stalking you."
"He's not stalking me."
"He's a demented psychopath with delusions of granduer Ms. Laurel, anything he does is designed to perpetrate heinous crimes against other people."
"He isn't stalking me. Have a seat."
The perfectly coifed maid. "Nescafe?"
"Hey Batsy, when we gonna get sum nekkid pics? Ya'll promised!"
"Muffin is it?"
"Yep."
"Where is the Joker?"
"I spect he'll be round soon. Prolly when all ya'll leave. Sumthin bout ya'll that kinda hacks him off, makes him a lil looney, ya know?"
"Where is he? He is dangerous and must be taken into custody immediately."
"Hmmm I dunno, he says ya'll were voted the sexiest person on Literotica last year, but he shoulda got it. Whattya think Izz?"
*Outside by the window...*
"DCL was voted sexiest author last year."
"Mmmroowrrr. Batman is DCL. Who is as sexy as DCL? I can only think of one man..."
"Thats Luthor. Whats he doing??"
"He's in there with some woman, Mercy, and it looks like Laurel and Manu. They're arguing."
"Lets go check it out."
"Lois!!"
*At the door...*
"Yes?"
"Ms. Laurel? I'm Lois Lane with the Daily Planet, I was wondering if I might come in and have a word with you?"
"Sure why not. Everyone else is."
*At the Batmobile...*
"Holy spandex wedgies Batman! Thats Superman and Lois Lane!"
"They went in the house Robin. Lets go!"
*At the door...*
"Yes??"
"Ms. Laurel, may we come in?"
*sighing* "Sure, join the orgy."
"Orgy? We aren't too late for it are we?"
"Batgirl, mind on business."
*Yelling into the darkened, quiet neighborhood* "ANYONE ELSE WANNA COME IN???"
"Its not safe Ms. Laurel. The Joker is stalking you."
"He's not stalking me."
"He's a demented psychopath with delusions of granduer Ms. Laurel, anything he does is designed to perpetrate heinous crimes against other people."
"He isn't stalking me. Have a seat."
The perfectly coifed maid. "Nescafe?"
"Hey Batsy, when we gonna get sum nekkid pics? Ya'll promised!"
"Muffin is it?"
"Yep."
"Where is the Joker?"
"I spect he'll be round soon. Prolly when all ya'll leave. Sumthin bout ya'll that kinda hacks him off, makes him a lil looney, ya know?"
"Where is he? He is dangerous and must be taken into custody immediately."
"Hmmm I dunno, he says ya'll were voted the sexiest person on Literotica last year, but he shoulda got it. Whattya think Izz?"
*Outside by the window...*
"DCL was voted sexiest author last year."
"Mmmroowrrr. Batman is DCL. Who is as sexy as DCL? I can only think of one man..."
KillerMuffin
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I still love the Joker, even if he is....
*The door to Laurel's house flies open and in prances...*
"Honey I'm hooooooome!"
"JOKER!"
Joker "Hiya Muff, did you bring it?"
KillerMuffin "Chromedome got in the way. Out in the truck. By the way, I brought the chaps."
Joker "Harl, be a dear and fetch the box."
Harlequin "Sure thing Puddin', I mean Mr. J!"
KillerMuffin "Took ya'll long enough to get here."
Lex Luthor "What is this all about? Whats this I hear about you saving Literotica?"
Batman "Make it easy on yourself Joker. Surrender."
Joker "Lexxie, you wound me. Not so fast Batsy. You come any closer and your Batgirl gets it."
Batgirl "Nevermind me Batman, get the Joker!"
Joker "Touching isn't it? Laurel, do we have a deal?"
Lex Luthor "Ms. Laurel? What is going on here?"
Joker "Do we?"
Laurel "You brought it?"
Joker "Harleykins is bringing it in."
Laurel "When I have it, you sign mine, I sign yours."
Lex Luthor "WHAT is going on here? Lexcorp is poised to take this site over. We have a right to know what is going on!"
Laurel *smirking* "Not anymore."
Joker "You see Lexxiepoo, in a few minutes I will own enough interest in Literotica to keep you out of it."
Lex Luthor "Its a privately owned corporate entity."
Joker "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA The server its based on isn't, is it Lexxie? You and that Wayne creep have been playing footsie with it to get your paws on Literotica."
Laurel "The Joker has provided us with a server. We no longer use the old one, the one you will own in the morning. You'll never get your filthy hands on my Literotica now Luthor."
Joker "HAHAHAHAHAHA In exchange for a few links and the ominpotent and omniscient title, of course. You won't get your hands on the copyrights Lexxie."
Batman "The copyrights! I have stories on... I mean, Luthor, the copyrights are author held. Laurel knows that. Even the Joker respects that."
Lex Luthor "Really."
KillerMuffin "Told ya he was gonna save Literotica."
Robin "Holy Missionary Position Batman! The Joker saved Literotica!"
*The room is hurled into dead silence as the assembled cast contemplates that one of the most evil villians the world has ever known has, indeed, saved Literotica and it's authors from certain doom at the hands of Lexcorp.*
Batman "I have one question Joker. Who are you?"
Joker "HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
[Edited by KillerMuffin on 01-03-2001 at 03:04 PM]
*The door to Laurel's house flies open and in prances...*
"Honey I'm hooooooome!"
"JOKER!"
Joker "Hiya Muff, did you bring it?"
KillerMuffin "Chromedome got in the way. Out in the truck. By the way, I brought the chaps."
Joker "Harl, be a dear and fetch the box."
Harlequin "Sure thing Puddin', I mean Mr. J!"
KillerMuffin "Took ya'll long enough to get here."
Lex Luthor "What is this all about? Whats this I hear about you saving Literotica?"
Batman "Make it easy on yourself Joker. Surrender."
Joker "Lexxie, you wound me. Not so fast Batsy. You come any closer and your Batgirl gets it."
Batgirl "Nevermind me Batman, get the Joker!"
Joker "Touching isn't it? Laurel, do we have a deal?"
Lex Luthor "Ms. Laurel? What is going on here?"
Joker "Do we?"
Laurel "You brought it?"
Joker "Harleykins is bringing it in."
Laurel "When I have it, you sign mine, I sign yours."
Lex Luthor "WHAT is going on here? Lexcorp is poised to take this site over. We have a right to know what is going on!"
Laurel *smirking* "Not anymore."
Joker "You see Lexxiepoo, in a few minutes I will own enough interest in Literotica to keep you out of it."
Lex Luthor "Its a privately owned corporate entity."
Joker "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA The server its based on isn't, is it Lexxie? You and that Wayne creep have been playing footsie with it to get your paws on Literotica."
Laurel "The Joker has provided us with a server. We no longer use the old one, the one you will own in the morning. You'll never get your filthy hands on my Literotica now Luthor."
Joker "HAHAHAHAHAHA In exchange for a few links and the ominpotent and omniscient title, of course. You won't get your hands on the copyrights Lexxie."
Batman "The copyrights! I have stories on... I mean, Luthor, the copyrights are author held. Laurel knows that. Even the Joker respects that."
Lex Luthor "Really."
KillerMuffin "Told ya he was gonna save Literotica."
Robin "Holy Missionary Position Batman! The Joker saved Literotica!"
*The room is hurled into dead silence as the assembled cast contemplates that one of the most evil villians the world has ever known has, indeed, saved Literotica and it's authors from certain doom at the hands of Lexcorp.*
Batman "I have one question Joker. Who are you?"
Joker "HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
[Edited by KillerMuffin on 01-03-2001 at 03:04 PM]
Naked Hunny
Postwoman
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Congrats my favorite Muffin on your 1000th post!!
Svedish_Chef
On Walkabout
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I know I know... but is that the end really?
COngratulations miss Muff on your thousand...
Laurel, does this now get turned into a story?
Da chef
COngratulations miss Muff on your thousand...
Laurel, does this now get turned into a story?
Da chef
G
Guest
Guest
I am the real Batman.
KillerMuffin
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Dixon is the real Batman. I said so. I am Muffin, watch me fiddle with stuff.
Adam West was ugly anyway. Don Knotts would have done a better job. I hate the way the tv show turned it into some sort of comedy. I much prefer the newer cartoon version.
Adam West was ugly anyway. Don Knotts would have done a better job. I hate the way the tv show turned it into some sort of comedy. I much prefer the newer cartoon version.
KillerMuffin
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Expertise said:I'm an anti-hero with a personality disorder?
Jesus thats the way my weeks been going
Look at the bright side darlin,
you're still sexy as fuck
(sssshhhhh don't tell anyone, but along with Mr. Spock, the Joker is my hero)
[Edited by KillerMuffin on 01-03-2001 at 03:05 PM]
