Holy hole in the plot batman!

[cats]

OOC: This is a light hearted thread for those who just want to write. Feel free to post as much or as little as you like. You can put what ever characters you want in here or steer the plot in a difrent direction.

Have fun.

IC: "Holy Hole in the plot Batman!" Robin looked down from the bat copter at batman hanging on a ladder. "Theres a shark on your leg!"

"Yes Robin I noticed! Um, hand me the Anti-shark Bat spray please."

"Shure." Robin turned around. and looked at the varyous sprays there. "Anti-mouse, Anti-mongoose, Anti-Bat? Sense when are we needing to get rid of bats?" "Robin this shark is rather painfull and ticking like a bomb so if you'd please hand me the bat spray."

"Holy parrot poo! I don't think we brung it." "Brought it Robin, brought it. Okay then hand me the holy hand grenaide of antiok."

"Okay batman." Robin took the grenaid from the munk next to him. He flicked the auto pilot switched and decended down the latter hanging from his ankles as he passed it to batman.

"Thank you Robin." "Okay Now I'll read the directions. Okay now. Thou shallt pull the pin." "Check, Robin."

"Then thall shault count to three and throw it. Thall shallt not countith to two or four but mustith coutith to three." "Read faster Robin I've already pulled the pen."

Will batman survive this crisis. Toon in next time, same bat time, same bat channel.

 

[little_golden]

The Harlequin Hussy laughed at Batman's predicament. It was she who bought and turned loose the mechanical shark on Batman. She hated him! He had foiled her attempt to rob the Gotham City Art Emporium and now she was getting he own revenge.

"Oh yes! I'll get that Robin too. But I have other plans for you my sweety" she whispered to herself as she imagined Robin under her and she took advantage of him and his youth.

She lowered the telescope. Surely Batman was done for she decided. Walking across the deck of the small yacht in her tangerine string bikini, she headed to the upper deck to start the boat's engine and to return to the marina.

"I got you today" she laughed to herself. As she looked up she caught her own relection in the glass. She was vain and liked to look at herself. Her long red hair, fair skin, deep green eyes and curvy figure made her grin in self appreciation.

 

[Morgoth]

And suddenly, a portal in the sky tore open.

And down came Lokken, slamming into the ground with a painful lurch.

"Damn", he said, standing up.

He saw a strange half-bat, half-man with some sort of shark on his leg.

With that, he cast a spell and the shark melted.

"Hello, there, Bat-thing. I am Lokken of Taros".

 

[cats]

Bat man stared at the new arival. "Loken? Didn't you end? I could of sworn you ended." "Um, batman." "Yes robin?" "The hand grenaide? It's um... been pulled." "I see." "Loken hold this." Batman handed the grenaide to Loken. "Bat chopter away." "Batman, don't we need to get to the cockpit to do that?"

 

[Morgoth]

"Hand grenade?" "I remember ... Ahhhhh!" and with that, he threw it as far as possible.

"Bat-thing, you have aroused my ire! Off I go to your spire!"

 

[Emotionless]

Just then Napolean rode up on a miniature horse and stole the hand grenade from Lokken's grasp.

"Haha!" he yelled in an annoying high pitched french accent. "I clame this bizzare looking egg in the name of France!"

He then rode off dramaticly.

Moments later he exploded....also quite dramaticly.

 

[poohlive]

"You see?"
"No," Number 2 gave a curious look at the monitor, "What is it?"
"The shark didn't have a freakin laser beam attached to his head, thats why he was defeated so easily!"
Doctor Evil stared at the monitor, laughing a bit as he watched the maladies of the supposed do gooder and his accomplices.
"Ahhh, I see a third has entered into this little cat and mouse game. Yes, indeed. We shall call him, the cheese."
"The cheese, sir?"
"Of course. The cat gets the mouse, the mouse gets the cheese, yes, yes."
Mini me gave out a hoot of laughter, in which Doctor Evil agreed.
"The fools, do not even know what awaits them. Come, to the Evil-mobile."
"Sir? We don't have the evil-mobilbe back from the shop yet."
Doctor Evil gave a sigh, "Idiots. I'm working with freaking idiots. What do we have?"
"A Suburban."
Perhaps there was hope, "Is it an evil suburban?"
"It gets 15 miles to the gallon."
Good enough for an evil genius.
"Then to the suburban!"

 

[cats]

"I'll get back into the cockpit then, batman" Robin upulled himself up right and then entered the Copter. "Robin." "Yes batman." "We can't let a little french miget push us around." "Holy condo batman, you don't mean that was." "Yes Robin that was Napoleon. Let us get to the batcave and plot our next move." "Next move?" "Yes it is clear Napoleon is in legue with marvel comics."

"Batman." "Yes Roibin?" "Your not makeing sense now." "Are you shure Robin?"

 

[kamalw1]

As Batman and Robin flew away in the batcopter, they saw a big mummy walking through the streets of Gotham, terrorizing the citizens. The mummy would grab a person and consume them. As he did, some more of his flesh would appear on his body.

 

[poohlive]

Traversing through the streets, a gas guzzling Doctor Evil ensemble couldn't help but listen to the radio. Of course, with Evil's constant nagging it was turned from easy listening to hardcore rap. Evil didn't like hardcore rap, but talking about blunts and 187's did seem a bit more evil than Grease being the word, or Strawberry fields forever.
"What in the world is that?"
"Sir?" Number 2 stopped the gas guzzling beast in mid traffic, causing a crash behind them, which delighted Mini Me to no end.
"A mummy? Here? Good God, what is this world coming to."
"It is an evil mummy, sir."
"Number 2," Doctor Evil sighed, not sure why he had hired the man in the first place, "Have you ever heard of a good mummy?"
"I... uhhhhh," Number 2 lowered his head in shame.
"Indeed, let us leave. The mummy seems to be doing fine here."
They made a huge U-turn (causing another crash which sent Mini Me into a fit of laughter). Heading for the river that ran through Gotham. It seemed as if they had a meeting there.
Someone they needed to see, to end this pity feud of do gooding once and for all.
They stopped next to the bank of the river, under a bridge, where common hobo's and street urchans would come to spend the night. In the middle of it all, stood a rusty brown van that looked disheveled beyond repair.
"Is this him?"
"Yes Sir. He will be our secret weapon to get rid of the rat crusader once and for all."
"Excellent."
Out of the van came a man, who dressed rather nicely despite the surroundings he inhabited.
"Doctor Evil?" his voice cracked as he spoke, sweat pouring down from his slicked back hair, "Is that you?"
"Indeed."
"You should give up your evil ways Doctor... otherwise you might find yourself LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!!"
Doctor Evil gave him an odd look, "Right. Listen, I need your help. Batman must be destroyed, in order for my plans to continue. Can you help?"
The man nodded, a smile coming up to his face, "Batman, yes."
Doctor Evil gave a hideous smile, putting his pinky up to his bottom lip. Yes, brilliant!

 

[cats]

Robin

"Um, batman?" "Yes robin?" "there seems to be a gaint Mummy destryoing Gotham city." "Now Robin rember what I told you about lieing?" "Yes but it's..." "Don't lie to me. There is no such thing as a gaint Mummy."

Just then the phone rang. "Hello?" Robin said as he picked up the phone. 'Hello, batman?' "no this is robin. Here I get him for you." 'No robin this concerns you too.' "What?" 'Well this is James Bond, and I just got off the phone with Martha Stewart. You see I've been calling all of my..... close freinds and I have somethign interesting to tell you.'

Just then the gaint Mummy grabed the bat copter. "Um, batman?" "Yes Robin?" "James bond called and said he some how contracted... Holy hamster shit! the mummys got us!" "Now Robbin you know how I feel about talking dirty and Mummys don't exist, so please gon on about Mr. Bond." "Look out the window batman!" "Robin quit day dreaming and tell me about James." "Yes well he wanted to let us know that he contracted 1786 genitle deasis's." "Now robin are you shure? As I know there are only 1569 deases of that nature." "All check."

Batman looked out the window. "I can't give you a large tip but citizen you have my graditude for doing the windsheild." Meanwhile robin was geting an explanation from James Bond. 'You see I have all 1253 comon deaseses, that can be confirmed. Then 14 deseses where sent in for testing but for some reason they haven't called back confirming or denieing them. The remaining 217 are completely new some how mutateing in me. The doctor said I should of noticed that my dick was a shriveled up prun but... oh god this nurse has a nice butt. I'll call you back.'

"Okay batman...."

...Five minutes latter...

The mummy was still crushing the copter. "Batman... are you shure Mummys don't exist." "Of coarse they don't Robin. Now as I see we now have three stuges syndrom." "Come again?" "Maybe latter. You see the viruses and bactirea have all treind inflicting us at once and because of it we are in a state where we are not effected by them. Like the three stuges trieing to get threw a door."

Batman looked forward once more. "We just can't wait any longer for this guy to finish the windows. Lets go robin."

 

[Morgoth]

Lokken however, has his hands busy with Darth Vader and Darth Maul, who have both come through an evil portal and whose evil is so evil, that even Dr. Evil would feel good.

"Why won't you die?" screams Lokken as he barely dodges a lightsaber.

"Freeeeeedooooooom!"

An army of face-painted Scots suddenly appears and charges at Gotham, hacking everything in sight.

 

[Emotionless]

"Holy crap! A bunch of painted face scots!" shouted a passer-by while pointing heroicly.

"Yes, and there is only one way to propperly deal with that sort," said a random person, hand on hips and in a deep voice.

"KUNG-FU NINJAS!" they said in unison?

"Whats a kung-fu ninja?" asked a voice of reason.

"Well, they're not quite monks and thier not quite ninjas, but man are they badass." remarked a passing dog, which sparked a lot of surprised looks and raised eye brows.

Just then a pack of kung-fu ninjas burst out of various hiding places and went to work on the slashing scots men.

Just as things were looking grim, Grahm Chapman walked on scene dressed as an officer in the British Army and was heard to remark:

"This thread is getting silly....very silly indeed."

 

[kamalw1]

As Dr. Evil was speaking with the man underneath the bridge, a gray Sedan pulled up next to thiem and a woman in a business suit stepped out. "Are you Dr. Evil?" she asked. "Yes I am," he replied, a smug grin on his face.

"Good. I am Gloria Black and I am here to serve you two notices. One is a lawsuit from SPCA, the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. You are being sued by them for the illegal and unethical use of sharks by strapping deadly technology to their heads. The next notice is from the National Society of Midgets and Dwarves. They are suing you because they feel that Mini Me is an inaccurate and demeaning portayal of little people. Consider yourself served," she said. She then hopped back into the car and drove off.

 

[poohlive]

Doctor Evil could barely contain himself, looking down at the two notices in his hand. It was just utter disbelief.
"The Spca and the National Society of Midgets and Dwarves? Both of them? They think I'm evil? They really think I'm evil?"
A tear came down his face.
"Oh, I've never been so happy. Come, let us celebrate. This calls for chamapgne all around. They hate me... they really hate me."
Number 2 had a grave look on his face, "Sir, this will cost us millions."
Doctor Evil raised an eyebrow, "Oh no, number 2. I think it will cost us.... billions!"
He laughed, as did Mini Me.
Number 2 sighed, getting into the suburban.
"Only one thing can make me more evil than I am now."
He ripped them up, littering the pieces on the ground.
"I'm so evil, it hurts."
They left to go celebrate.

 

[Jacobo_Curious]

"AAAAAAH!"

Tumbling from the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane!

No! It's the Dark Magician Girl!

And she can't fly!

Let's all point and laugh.

WHUMP!

The Harlequin Hussy suddenly found her yacht occupied by a now pancake-flat blonde girl in fancy magical attire -- almost as silly looking as the Harlequin's normal outfit, in fact.

Fortunately, the boat didn't get damaged.

Then the Dark Magician Girl's hat fell from the sky as well.

SLAM!

The heavy hat crashed through several feet of wood before stopping.

"My hat!" screamed the girl, staggering to her feet, somehow not dead. "My hat my hat my hat!"

She rushed to the nearly-breached hull to see if her hat was still intact...

 

[SecretDesires]

Just then lights eminated from the sky and three men appeared in the middle of the choas on Gotham's main street in the midst of sparkly special effects.

"Good lord, Jim," Said the smaller man,"Have we landed in the middle of some war?"

The taller, hansome, brown haired man shook his head. "No, Bones, it seems to be individual scuffles going on in the main street of this city."

Turning to the tall man with the pointed ears he said,"Spock, what do you make of this? I don't remember the history books mentioning anything like this."

"Indeed, Captain," The man replied looking down at his black box that hummed and squeeked,"I don't see any reference to a conflict of this magnitude at this location in any of the Enterprise's data bases."

"What will we do, Jim?" The one called 'Bones' asked as he looked on the slaughter.

"Nothing, Bones," Said the Captain.

"Nothing? But we can't just let this continue!"

"You forget, Doctor, about the Prime Directive. We cannot interfer directly in any flourishing civilization. Besides, our mission is to get lunch from the Gotham Deli, not change the conditions of this world."

"Flourishing!" the Doctor cried out,"How can you call this flourishing? They are killing themselves off! Won't this have an effect on the future? What if it causes all we know in our century to disappear?"

"That won't happen, Bones," the Captain said in a knowing voice.

"How can you be so certain?"

"Because we are not really from the future, Bones. And these phasers and those black boxes you are wearing are only props."

"Jim!" the doctor exclaimed,"What are you trying to say? You can't mean..."

"Yes, I am afraid I do," the Captain nodded grimly.

"Dear Lord, Jim," the doctor's face went white.

"Yes. Dammit, Bones, you are not a doctor...you are an actor."

 

[poohlive]

"GOD DAMNIT!"
Corporate Lawyer saw all the chaos and astonishment going on in this city. He decided to lay down the law, once and for all. Damnit, did no one care for human decency anymore?
Corporate Lawyer stepped out of his nice jaguar, in a power suit with bold colored tie and smashing briefcase. It all gave off a scent of money, which gave Corporate laqyer that certain edge.
"All right. There is such a thing as copyright infringement people. Don't act like you don't hear me. I am Corporate Lawyer, know all, hear all, see all.
"Batman and Robin? Come on people, DC Comics isn't just some run of the mill independant joint. They are a multinational company. Billions of dollars in revenue, if they catch one whiff of this, your ass is toast."
"And Doctor Evil? Do you honestly think you can just get away with this sort of blatant rip off? Mike Meyers is from Canada you know, he'll buy and sell your ass before you know what hit him.
Not to mention the amount of Saturday Night Live sketches that have been ripped off. People don't just turn a blind eye to copyright fraud. It is a serious dilemma in this country.
"Oh, I'm mad now.
"A mummy? A mummy? My God, you take a couple of sequels and a wonderful ad revenue pallate, and you think you can just run with it because you are better than everyone else? You know, people like t.v. producers and screen writers have to actually come up with original idieas that they rip off of old ideas that were ripped off somewhere else. They make good money doing that, you can't just place a mummy in here and make things ok.
"Don't tell me I saw a reference to the Simpsons. Please don't. Don't tell me someone decided to unleash the demonic Matt Groening into this entire equation. Before it was just harmless fun, illegal harmless fun, like pot, but harmless fun nontheless. Now... now we've got the Simpsons to deal with? My God in heaven, we have brought forth beubonic plague to this entire thread and all that it stands for.
"He will take you down faster than a cheap whore giving out free handjobs.
"And Star Trek? Just cause Roddenberry is dead, doesn't mean the nasty money grubbers who own his ideas will just lie back and allow this to happen. They have innate evil in them just as much as anything else. Worse, cause they know what's going to happen.
"Oh the humanity!!!
At this point, a similiar lawyer stopped his shiny jaguar next to Corporate lawyer, handing him a piece of paper.
"Sir, I am Cliche lawyer, and every single lawyer has filed a class act for your unseasoned stereotypical display of lawyers in this scene. They will sue you for all you've got..."

 

[hybirdx]

Once again, strange lights emited from the sky, opening a black portal. In an flash, sombody fell from the sky, and crash landed into the streets of Gotham.

Withen the small crater, an purple haired boy sat up groaning. "Ow..." He looked up at the sky, cursing. "You said it would be an NICE landing!"

Oddler stood up, and brushed himself off. "I guess being a demon does have its advantages... Hey, where's my sword?"

 

[cats]

Batman

"Robin, leave a tip and let us go to the bat cycles." Robin looked out once more threw the window. "Your..." "Robin Gaint Mummys don't exist." "Okay umm...."

Robin got out of the copter standing on the side bored of the machine. "Um, here is.... um, the penny, that um.... Well it's the tip for doing the um..." "Robin just give him the penny!" Robin put the penny in the mummys hand.

"Now to the bat cave." Batman threw out a batarang and it hit the side of the building secureing it's self to nothing then he effortlessly walked down the building as if he didn't even need the rope to walk down.

Now on the ground he pulled aside some bushes revileing a cycle that had been there all along. "Lets go Robin." Robin now on the ground went next to the cycle and got in the side seat. "Okay now put on your helmet and we'll get going."

As Robin straped on his helmet the gaint Mummy threw the copter off into the distance leting it strike a deli on a corner. "Robin we need to ask that citizen to clean up his litter. "Okay....." "Well Robin, Go ahead I'll wait for you to get back." "Um... wouldn't you prefer to do it." "No Robin I need to keep the ingen running to save time now you get going. Oh and get his number, we'll have to send him a get well soon card. Just look at all those bandages."

Robin slowly got out of the car. He walked over to the mummy quite worried. "Um... Mr. um.... Could you clean that up?" Some how I don't think he has a phone number robin thought.

 

[IDreamofBunnies]

The evil Bunny Bunny was miffed, none of her mutant rabbit slaves had enough manual dexterity to help her put on the pink latex corset that was key to her costume. After twenty minutes she managed to tie it on and she pursed her lips to lightly blow some cool air on her sore fingertips. She then placed her bunny ear cap on her head and finished the outfit with a top hat.

"Now, Bunny Bunny shall unleash a dark plan of darkness upon my nemisis...nemisi...nemisiseses? My ENEMIES, while they are all in one spot. Dr. Evil, Batman and all those goons will fall before the might of Bunny Bunny's Bunny Bunny Baleful Bomb of Bewilderment and Bane!"

She tugged on the bunny tail attached to the rear of her costume as she danced in anticipation. From the giant Rabbit Satellite in OUTER SPACE she pressed the button labled: BBBoBaB. Launching a deadly missile at Earth.

 

[hybirdx]

Oddler growled as he searched every where for his sword "Oh come on! I know it was with me when I fell! Where did it go!?" Oddler became fustrated as he punched an mail box, puting a hole in it. "Oh where oh where did my little sword go!?"

 

[Emotionless]

Just then Grahm Chapman dressed as an Officer in the British Army strode up to the curiously dressed evil bunny and waved his arms in front of a near by television camera. "Right, I've warned you. The name of that weapon is ridiculously silly. Even for a mutant space bunny. Now, change the name of it immediatly or I'll be forced to take certain measures. Director, on my command cut to the next scene. Director......wait for it! Director, CUT!"

 

[Jacobo_Curious]

The scene cut to the Copyright Lawyer. He was stomping around.

"Nobody is paying any attention to me! Look here, I have about eight-hundred supeonas digitally registered in my Palm Pilot. Let me get them out and show you! All of this is wrong, wrong, wroerRRRRKKKKK--"

A yacht squished him.

"My HAT!" cried the Dark Magician Girl. "The force of the magic inside my hat caused the yacht to shoot out of the water... because my HAT WAS DAMAGED!" She flopped down on her butt. "Waaaaah!"

The Harlequin Hussy, dressed in her tangerine bikini, flopped on the ground, and glanced up, surveying the scene. The yacht was completely destroyed, and the blonde girl in the odd revealing costume was cradling a slightly dented metal hat in her hands.

Surely this was Gotham's darkest hour.

 

[ChaosBringer]

SuperBunny

Upon Bunny Bunny's Bunny Bunny Baleful Bomb of Bewilderment and Bane sits a small rabbit wearing a cape, who looks vaguely like...

(0)(0)
(^_^)
/(' S ')\
/ (__|__)\
+-----------+

It's SUPERBUNNY....and he's....chewing...on the bomb?


"Mm! Carrots!" SuperBunny exclaims!