Holiday Love and Energy

[LunaEroticaMystica]

I wanted to take a moment to send out waves of love and healing for those missing their loved ones right now (loss or absence). This is a hard time of year. Let those feelings flow, but remember the happy times and be comforted by the memories. Healing sometimes takes place subtly and slowly and at times it seems we are stuck and backslide, going backwards instead of forwards. Honor the grief process (of all types of losses: life, jobs, homes, relationships, a way of being, etc...). It is unique to each person. There is NO set time frame.

Your loved ones want you to know they are ever by your side, even if you don't believe it or can't seem to grasp that. Feel the gentle brush of energy, hear the music, see the signs, open your heart to their love and comfort.

Be aware, be alert, be open. Know that you are not alone.

Happy Holidays to One and All. May you have gratitude and find contentment in what you do have, but not stop believing in the magic of possibilities (including love)!

 

[EmeraldKitten]

I agree with that Luna!
I can only speak of those I've lost through death.. but I know they are watching out for me.. and I know that they are with me always, in my heart.
The first year is the worst, and afte that, though they get easier, it still hurts, no matter what.
After my great-grandma died and we sold the farm, Christmas Eve was going to be awkward.. it was always the farm where we went for our family party. That didn't happen that year. A couple years later I started dating my boyfriend, and going from his grandpa's to my grandma's - I had to drive past the farm.
I thought I was going to die. As I drove up to it, the lights were on... there were cars in the driveway.. and as I slowed down I could see through the front door. These other people were in our home! Having a Christmas Eve party! It was supposed to be us!
I will pretty much swear my great-grandma got in my head and told me that it was all right that they were there.
Once I thought about it, though it hurt my feelings, I was glad they were there. That house had given us many, many great holidays, and I was glad someone else was getting to enjoy it. It took a lot to say that- I felt like I was betraying my great-grandma. But ya know, I think she was okay with it.
This year, the house is no more. It was torn down, and all the trees were cleared. It's now just another plot of farm land.
It hurt my feelings at first, but then it was okay. I feel like the farm has died. And as goofy and stupid as this may sound to some- I think the farm is now in heaven with Greatma.
And somehow, I think she will be getting the house ready for the party.

 

[LunaEroticaMystica]

Kitty,

I'm sure your great-grandma knew. Moving forward can hurt! My grandmother died in Feb. This will be the first Christmas without her. The house in on the market. I've lived a state away from most of my family now for about three years.

I remember when my grandfather died. Grief for my little angel cousin was still fresh on my mind. It had only been 2 years since my world crumbled and my heart was ripped out. I was floundering and my soul lost. Life didn't seem fair. She was so young, just a baby at 4 1/2 years old. I reconciled to myself that Grandpa was old, you die when you are old. That's the way of it. You aren't supposed to leave this world as young as an innocent child. I felt awful that I didn't give my Grandpa the farewell he deserved, but her death still overshadowed my life. I remember the family went to see him the day he died. I was stuck in classes and had to wait until the evening to go. I took a guardian angel pin with me to pin on his shoulder. He had been sitting up, joking as was his way, alert and happy to see his visitors, just a few short hours before. As I entered his room, I was struck by the silence, other than the beeping machines that were helping him breathe and keeping him alive. I knew he was no longer there. Family members were in denial. A calm came over the room and as I sat there, holding his hand a shift of the energy announced arrivals. It was while I was alone, holding his hand, that I saw the love that surrounded and waited for him. My little cousin was there in that room with me, telling me it was OK to feel how I felt. He understood and didn't hold it against me. His father and brother waited for him in the light. I felt the gentle touch of small hands on the hand still in my lap.

That night, after we all went home, my mom stayed with him. He waited for her to turn her head and drift a few seconds, before he silently and peacefully let go.

I think sometimes our loved ones don't wait on purpose; whether they want us to remember them the way they were (if in ill health), vibrant and full of life, or know that goodbyes are difficult for some people. That doesn't make it any easier on us though.

Afterwards, he would visit. He would sit in his recliner and smile. My grandmother would find little crumpled up pieces of candy wrappers, all balled up, randomly placed around the house. Just as Grandpa would have done when he was alive. She swore it was squirrels or chimpmunks, sneaking in and invading the stash. I assured her it was Grandpa leaving her gifts of love. I'm not sure she quite believed me, until a few years later. Whenever he's around my Dad will slip into joke-telling mode, the dry humor of his father. It cracks me up and is heartening.

Grammy's death was different. I had more maturity and experience., especially when it came to grief and to the love that lives on. She was ready to go and join her husband. Her letting go was a relief. She left a legacy of artwork for her family, a legacy of grace and gentleness. When I delivered her eulogy, I included Grandpa, even making apologies. It felt right to be able to do that. That little bit of closure I never knew I needed, was found.

Grammy sends cardinals, her favorite bird. Cardinals in the oddest places! Flowers, her water-color specialty. The scent of her soap, which I randomly come across in public restrooms. I think people probably think I'm crazy, sniffing my hands and a tear coming to my eye in the middle of a busy bathroom. It's a comfort.

I've connected on many levels with loved ones, bringing messages of hope and comfort and at times even helping to bring closure. It never gets easier. Each time it is a surreal experience to me. But each time I help, my darling little angel girl is at my side, as she promised me, as are all of my loved ones and I don't feel quite so alone on this journey.

(Edited: I just went into my room to get my cell phone and there was a crumpled up kit kat wrapper on my floor! I haven't eaten candy in weeks because of my teeth. "Hi, Grandpa!" *smiles*)

 

[EmeraldKitten]

That gave me chills!

That's so weird- my great-grandma loved cardinals. Whenever my mom and I see one, (which is rather rare actually, which is really weird, lol.) we always say 'Hi Greatma.' In fact, my mom has a picture that is framed in an old window from the farm, and the picture- is of a window. Do you know how many odd looks that gets? lol.
But its a picture of the window where Greatma always sat. (There's part of a tree and a lampost in there too, lol.) She'd sit in her chair and watch out that window, looking for her birds. There were always more cardinals there in a day than anywhere else in a month.

There is a certain way the sunlight will come through clouds, and my mom swears its Greatma. The sun will light upon things that were hers, or had something to do with her, and it's just eerie. The light just looks... different.

I was in the bathroom shortly after my dad died, brushing my teeth. A piece of my hair lifted- I watched it in the mirror- and looked like it was laid forward. I about choked on my toothbrush and passed out. I swear I heard my dad laughing. I told him not to mess with me like that- I wouldn't be able to sleep ever again, lol.
My mom woke up one night and saw my dad standing at the foot of her bed. (They'd been divorced for 22 years.) It scared her so bad- and we're no strangers to 'activity', that she actually rolled over and woke up my stepdad, lol.
Most of the time I get... hmm.. messages if you will, from my dad through songs. That's the least scary method.

I'll get whiffs of my grandma's perfume (my dad's mom) sometimes, in the most random places. One day this summer, I smelled her perfume while my sister and I were out driving with the top down. I said, "Do you smell Granny?" She said, "Yeah. Why do we smell her in the middle of the country?" I think she came for a ride with us. Oh- its her perfume that I get a whiff of randomly with public bathroom soap! Sometimes it'll smell like my dad too! Too weird. lol.

Oh- I had a friend in high school that passed away the year I graduated. I was headed to meet another friend at the cemetery on the anniversary of Jack's death, and I had a Metallica CD in, just letting it play as it would. I lit a cigarette and cracked the window, and the CD skipped for a second, and ended up changing songs to 'The House That Jack Built'... and it skipped so that it said, 'Jack built..' about four times. I'll tell ya what, I about dropped my cigarette and drove off the road.

I have no doubt they're with me always, but I have to put it out there that they can't scare me. Because I've had some creepy things happen, and I like being able to sleep at night.

 

[LunaEroticaMystica]

Thanks for sharing Kitty!

I'm so glad you are open to it and had a feeling you would be. That's awesome we both have cardinal sending relatives I've had scary experiences too. Those experiences taught me how to protect myself and set defined boundaries, that surprisingly, they follow for the most part.

Each time I connect and/or help, my little angel girl is at my side, as she promised me. Not the sweet little girl I knew, but a wise advisor and guide. I was promised that when I accepted my path, she would be there. She has kept her promise to me, as have the other angels in my life. Sometimes it is hard, when I cannot connect with my own loved ones. But I am reassured they are with me always.

I've accepted that people will come and go from my life, oftentimes quickly and for one purpose alone. It used to be hard. It used to be painful, especially when a man would come into my life. I would allow myself to think "Maybe this time will be different. Maybe he will be here for me, instead of the other way around. Maybe there is no grief or loved that needs to get their message across." And just as quickly, they will either A) Quietly walk away, thanking me. Never to be seen again. B) Run for the hills. C) Apologize as the door closes on them. D) Well, you get the picture. My heart tells me one day, it will be for me. But until then, I accept, but remain on guard.

I've even made peace with myself that they are going to come through my stories. I know now that this just another way for them to reach out. If I tell their story, they sometimes find their own peace and that is all that matters. If a story stalls and I find it taking a new direction, it is usually because someone has a story to be told. I can abandon the story, shorting myself, but they will come in dreams and find me there. Or, I can give up the story, let them have their say and move on. There are boundaries and there are rules that are in place. But, if it's meant to be, it will be.

I hope they don't scare you. That's never fun!

 

[LunaEroticaMystica]

Songs are a very easy way for messages to come across. Messages on bumper stickers, hair lifting, feathery touches, a scent, a dream, a symbol, something you would recognize, something that represents them. We think our thoughts for a reason. "Why am I thinking about her?" "Why do I keep seeing butterflies everywhere?" "Why is his favorite song playing now?" The WHY of it is because they want us to know they are there. The more repetitive our thoughts, the harder they are trying to get through to us.

 

[LunaEroticaMystica]

I've expanded this post in my essay for Winter Story Contest: ~Holiday Love, Healing, and Energy~

(see below)