Hiring a Dom: Am I being scammed? Help

[MarkBurr]

For those of you with experience in hiring a Madame for submission training, I could really use your help. MWM with an upcoming business trip. Short of a very long cancer related story is my wife and I are sexless but love each other. I have feminine desires and enjoy anal play and have wanted to experience submission with a Dom. I am deeply in the closet with this. Thinking this solo trip would be a good time to explore, I found a Dom online who was willing to start with me online with the idea of our first meeting would be when I arrive. All was going well when I was asked to send a tribute of $100. Figuring she has invested several hours into me by this time, I paid it. I assumed that the rest of the fees/ tributes would occur when we meet. Today however I was asked to send $500 so that she could order toys (straps, collar, whip, dildos, etc.). I understand that it would be sanitary to have my own toys but I cannot help but feeling that I am in a scam. When I discussed this with her she related me being closeted and fearful.....which I most certainly am...and she knows it. I offered to bring the supplies with me and was instead offered a $250 bill now with the other $250 at time of meeting.

Am I being scammed or is this the normal course of business for a traveler in the BDSM environment?

TIA.

 

[MeganFachs]

From the experience I’ve had, they should be very up front about all costs (though framing them as tributes is common). If she isn’t offering to use her own toys on you (with sanitary precautions), you should bring the toys not a separate fee. Ask her what type of strapon harness she uses so you get the cock that will work with that. These are basic logistics for a business woman to ensure you have a successful experience (and hopefully become a regular).

Bottom line, I would see “new fees” as a red flag if you already discussed how much tribute this experience would require. (Required amount is minimum, tipping is encouraged). If you haven’t discussed all the fees for the whole experience, do that now and see if she is honest and upfront about everything.

 

[MarkBurr]

Thank you.

 

[ZacharyFagg]

For those of you with experience in hiring a Madame for submission training, I could really use your help. MWM with an upcoming business trip. Short of a very long cancer related story is my wife and I are sexless but love each other. I have feminine desires and enjoy anal play and have wanted to experience submission with a Dom. I am deeply in the closet with this. Thinking this solo trip would be a good time to explore, I found a Dom online who was willing to start with me online with the idea of our first meeting would be when I arrive. All was going well when I was asked to send a tribute of $100. Figuring she has invested several hours into me by this time, I paid it. I assumed that the rest of the fees/ tributes would occur when we meet. Today however I was asked to send $500 so that she could order toys (straps, collar, whip, dildos, etc.). I understand that it would be sanitary to have my own toys but I cannot help but feeling that I am in a scam. When I discussed this with her she related me being closeted and fearful.....which I most certainly am...and she knows it. I offered to bring the supplies with me and was instead offered a $250 bill now with the other $250 at time of meeting.

Am I being scammed or is this the normal course of business for a traveler in the BDSM environment?

TIA.

I have no experience with hiring a Dom, but I've never met a Dom that didn't have their own toys. Toys can be cleaned and sterilized easily. Unfortunately this sounds like a scam.

 

[MarkBurr]

I have no experience with hiring a Dom, but I've never met a Dom that didn't have their own toys. Toys can be cleaned and sterilized easily. Unfortunately this sounds like a scam.

I hope not. It sounds like leather and all the various things that are going to enter my body. I am choosing to think she is OCD....which could be enjoyable for me (wink wink)

 

[OralAllOver]

Dude, some things can't be purchased and persons of high character do not try to sell them

Find a real physical partner for real physical intimacy and exploration-- and maybe prioritize style over looks

 

[MarkBurr]

I hear what you are saying. It's the oldest profession in the World for one reason....***** is Grey.

 

[luvslingerie200]

no experience in this realm whatsoever, but my spidy sense says scam.

 

[SubMick]

Sorry to give bad news but I would see a few things there as red flags.

I get the talking online first but if its physical contact you ultimately crave I would look for an experienced Professional Mistress.

I can't say that the person you are talking to are not genuine but its easy to talk, write, chatgtp etc.

A good professional should explain costs before hand, explain what they offer and their availability. I personally would also expect them to have any materials/toys required.

I have used professional Mistresses and always research them online. There are plenty of sites that Mistresses use to promote their services, and as many that punters use to review their experiences.

However much you want to be led by lust and desires, a little use of your brain is always helpful. This is afterall a financial service and I guess you'd like your money spent well.

Also remember that BDSM, however playful, can be dangerous. I would always consider who to visit carefully.

This is not being written to put you off, rather ensure that you enjoy the session with the minimum stress - before, during and after its over.

Good luck, happy to PM if you want to talk off grid.