Hilarious: Umberto Eco on Macs vrs. PCs

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Jose Jones
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The Holy War:
Mac vs. DOS

By Umberto Eco

The following excerpts are from an English translation of Umberto Eco's back-page column, La bustina di Minerva, in the Italian news weekly Espresso, September 30, 1994.

A French translation may be seen here.

Insufficient consideration has been given to the new underground religious war which is modifying the modern world. It's an old idea of mine, but I find that whenever I tell people about it they immediately agree with me.
The fact is that the world is divided between users of the Macintosh computer and users of MS-DOS compatible computers. I am firmly of the opinion that the Macintosh is Catholic and that DOS is Protestant. Indeed, the Macintosh is counter-reformist and has been influenced by the 'ratio studiorum' of the Jesuits. It is cheerful, friendly, conciliatory, it tells the faithful how they must proceed step by step to reach -- if not the Kingdom of Heaven -- the moment in which their document is printed. It is catechistic: the essence of revelation is dealt with via simple formulae and sumptuous icons. Everyone has a right to salvation.
DOS is Protestant, or even Calvinistic. It allows free interpretation of scripture, demands difficult personal decisions, imposes a subtle hermeneutics upon the user, and takes for granted the idea that not all can reach salvation. To make the system work you need to interpret the program yourself: a long way from the baroque community of revellers, the user is closed within the loneliness of his own inner torment.
You may object that, with the passage to Windows, the DOS universe has come to resemble more closely the counter-reformist tolerance of the Macintosh. It's true: Windows represents an Anglican-style schism, big ceremonies in the cathedral, but there is always the possibility of a return to DOS to change things in accordance with bizarre decisions; when it comes down to it, you can decide to allow women and gays to be ministers if you want to.
And machine code, which lies beneath both systems (or environments, if you prefer)? Ah, that is to do with the Old Testament, and is talmudic and cabalistic.
 
Was it Da Vinci or Michaelangelo who painted Christ having a thanks giving dinner with his twelve dwarfs?
 
And along comes Mac OS X and it's Unix roots to cock that all up. A sort of counter-reformist reaction to itself, so maybe it does hold true in some way.

:D

Did I say "I love my Macs" today? Well I do.
 
Hysterical. I forsee a new chapter to the next edition of "Foucalut's Pendulum". Maybe we'll finally find out if Abulafia is Mac or DOS.
 
I know zilch about computers.
But who uses DOS anymore?
 
Sandia said:
I know zilch about computers.
But who uses DOS anymore?
I know zilch about Dos, but my puter use it when it converts Real Player porn into Mpg porn. I't like turning Y2K silicon whores into '70s' real titted ones.
 
I had to do it.....

Insufficient consideration has been given to the fucking piece of shit new underground religious war which is modifying the fucking modern world. That piece of shit's an old idea of mine, but I find that whenever I tell people about that piece of shit them ass-riders immediately agree with my stupid ass.
The fucking fact is that the fucking world is divided between users of the fucking Macintosh computer and users of MS-DOS compatible computers. I am firmly of the fucking opinion that the fucking Macintosh is Catholic and that DOS is Protestant. Indeed, the fucking Macintosh is counter-reformist and has been influenced by the fucking 'ratio studiorum' of the fucking Jesuits. You've got a eye socket with my name on it. That bastard is cheerful, friendly, conciliatory, that shit tells the fucking faithful how in the hell them ass-riders must proceed step by step to reach -- if not the fucking Kingdom of Heaven -- the fucking moment in which their document is printed. You are a has-been bitch. That bastard is catechistic: the fucking essence of revelation is dealt with via simple formulae and sumptuous icons. Everyone has a right to salvation.
DOS is Protestant, or even Calvinistic. Asshole. That piece of shit allows free interpretation of scripture, demands difficult personal decisions, imposes a subtle hermeneutics upon the fucking user, and takes for granted the fucking idea that not all can reach salvation. You are a shitbag. To fuckin' make the fucking system work you need to interpret the fucking program yourself: a motherfucking long way from the fucking baroque community of revellers, the fucking user is closed within the fucking loneliness of that bastard's own inner torment.
You may object that, with the fucking passage to fuckin' Windows, the fucking DOS universe has come to resemble more closely the fucking counter-reformist tolerance of the fucking Macintosh. Jesus, you are a crispy fuckmonster. That bastard's true: Windows represents an Anglican-style schism, big ceremonies in the fucking cathedral, but there is always the fucking possibility of a return to DOS to change shits in accordance with bizarre decisions; when that shit comes down to that shit, you can decide to allow piece of shit bitches and gays to be ministers if you want to.
And machine code, which lies beneath both systems (or environments, if you and your hemorrhoids prefer)? Answer me, dammnit. Ah, that is to fuckin' do with the fucking Old Testament, and is talmudic and cabalistic.

--------------------------------
Burned by the Burnmaker!
* http://toy.thespark.com/burn *
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Foucoult's Pendulum is being made into a movie.
 
woodgie2 said:
And along comes Mac OS X and it's Unix roots to cock that all up. A sort of counter-reformist reaction to itself, so maybe it does hold true in some way.
It gets even better; Mac OSX is a combined architecture of Next and Unix - kind of like Unix with a micro-kernel. The other popular modified micro-kernel architecture OS out there? Yep you guessed it - Windows NT.

With regards to the original article - such allegories are fairly nonsensical and just plain boring.
 
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