Hilarious anonymous comments

[CompletedLeafie]

Was thinking about a thread where people could post funny, anon comments from story feedback. For example ones where an anonymous posts a "true" story, where he basically writes a whole 1 page story in his comment lol.

For some reason I can not copy the whole text on my ipad, I will do it later on my computer.

 

[GoldenCojones]

Here is one of my favorites

Here is one of my favorites. I think it is meant to be a positive comment.

Gobsmacked
05/20/16 By: Anonymous
Good Golly Molly! I was gobsmacked when I read this delightfully, wicked tale! It has absolutely no literary value whatsoever, just pure wanker material for sure. Just the way I like em! Sorry it took me so long to post a comment. I'm not as young as I used to be! It took three days for me to get through the whole thing because my wanker went off about twice a page. Let me tell you laddie I really soiled some linen getting through this horrid little wank story.

Unlike some of the trolls here I know fiction from fact and I'm acutely aware that this is all fiction. And what fiction it is! It is a marvelously complex and completely shallow saga of raging lust and cheap gratuitous sex.

Please write more like this. My wanker and I are begging you!

 

[lovecraft68]

This wasn't meant to be funny per se, but its truth always makes me smile when I revisit it. This is of course from an LW story.

re: the negative comments
07/08/15 By: bluesinthenight
"If you introduce a ray of light into a nest of owls, you will injure their eyes and excite their cries." Denis Diderot
The author introduced the light, then held up a mirror. The owls saw themselves but their images were reversed! REVERSED! Oh my!
Then came the cries!
Then came the 1 bombs!
I admire your courage

 

[EverLux]

This wasn't meant to be funny per se, but its truth always makes me smile when I revisit it. This is of course from an LW story.

re: the negative comments
07/08/15 By: bluesinthenight
"If you introduce a ray of light into a nest of owls, you will injure their eyes and excite their cries." Denis Diderot
The author introduced the light, then held up a mirror. The owls saw themselves but their images were reversed! REVERSED! Oh my!
Then came the cries!
Then came the 1 bombs!
I admire your courage

Reading this felt like a bad dream that fucks with your head even after you wake up...

 

[EverLux]

Unfortunately for this anon, I will rarely--if ever--write about a guy's pubes.

Caleb is one sexy guy
06/14/16 by: Anonymous
Amid all the descriptions of Caleb, given the tats and the muscles, give him some blonde chest hair, and hairy pubes. That's so attractive on a sexy guy!

Also, Caleb is not a blond.

 

[tomlitilia]

Silly
05/03/16 By: Anonymous
The title had no relation to the story.....silly......skipped most of it

Hang on... How do you know if you skipped most of it?

 

[oggbashan]

Hang on... How do you know if you skipped most of it?

I've had that comment as well - word for word. I think anon copies and pastes it.

 

[legerdemer]

This wasn't meant to be funny per se, but its truth always makes me smile when I revisit it. This is of course from an LW story.

re: the negative comments
07/08/15 By: bluesinthenight
"If you introduce a ray of light into a nest of owls, you will injure their eyes and excite their cries." Denis Diderot
The author introduced the light, then held up a mirror. The owls saw themselves but their images were reversed! REVERSED! Oh my!
Then came the cries!
Then came the 1 bombs!
I admire your courage

I actually think this was quite an interesting and thoughtful comment, LC.

 

[Jay321]

Looks like I'm the only dissenter so far. This, to me, was the literary equivalent of "a wide place in the road. And that mom is freaky. [\quote]

It wasn't Anon, but I thought it might fit here. I am still curious as to what "a wide place in the road" is.

 

[EverLux]

Looks like I'm the only dissenter so far. This, to me, was the literary equivalent of "a wide place in the road. And that mom is freaky. [\quote]

It wasn't Anon, but I thought it might fit here. I am still curious as to what "a wide place in the road" is.

Had to look it up. It's apparently an idiom that means small town/hick town/one stoplight town/etc.

Not sure if that helps the comment make more sense or less.

 

[Jay321]

Had to look it up. It's apparently an idiom that means small town/hick town/one stoplight town/etc.

Not sure if that helps the comment make more sense or less.

found the same reference. Made less sense after finding it. I assumed he was going for something else.

I guess he could be trying to call me a hick. That would make sense.

There is also the possibility that it was one of those guys that read a particular category (this one, incest) and then insults all the stories. He could have been trying to sound intelligent, and missed.

 

[lovecraft68]

I actually think this was quite an interesting and thoughtful comment, LC.

I agree because it really is how I see that crowd over there. They lash out because they're pissed because they were this person in real life....or it turns them on and they hate to admit it. Either way seems fitting.

 

[tomlitilia]

....or it turns them on and they hate to admit it.

I think this. Who in their right mind reads multiple Lit pages if it doesn't reward them in some way? Then again, right mind isn't Anon's strong side.

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

I am still curious as to what "a wide place in the road" is.

That's the little town we lived near in Florida. One traffic lite but a super Walmart where most of the "people of Walmart" shop.

 

[Carnal_Flower]

This is from a 1 1/2 story about sex on the jogging trail. Enjoy!

https://www.literotica.com/s/runners-high-2

It was my second morning, out early attending the machines on the side of the road before the 2 other drivers arrived. Clearing vegetation along the back roads, my job was to open the work trailer which contained a lunch room and wash basin, toilet and a desk and chair and fill up the large bulldozer and thrasher. I started at 6am, the first morning, I saw a woman walking her dog, we greeted, she asked what we would be doing and had a nice chat. She was maybe in her late 50s, I told her the other guys would arrive about 8am. She walked away, then on the way back she again said hello, see you tomorrow. Second morning, same thing, she walked the dog, said hello then said see you on the way back. I filled the machines, she came back, she stopped, tied the dog to the leg of the trailer and asked did I have any water, I said sure in the trailer. I took her inside, she drank a cup of water then said , the dog took off pulling me after some animal it saw, I hit a tree, she began pulling down her tights, is there any damage, I looked, not that I can see, she pulled them down further, then leaned over the table, are you sure. I could see her nice rounded bottom, a thatch of hair between her legs, even though I was only in my 30s my cock hardened. Give me your hand, I will show you the spot where it hurts. She guided my hand to her pussy, yes there, oh that's it, I rubbed back and forward, oh it feels better already. Her pussy was moist, she spread her legs further, I was hard, I lowered my shorts, moving my cock between her legs, she spread them wider, I moved forward and pushed my cock into her, oh yes, that feels good as I fucked her, her pussy getting wetter, oh god yes, I felt her pussy spasm and my cum shot into her, almost lifting her feet off the floor. I pulled back, she stood, pulled up her tights and said see you tomorrow, and walked off with her dog. I couldn't believe it. I wondered what would happen next day. She walked past, good morning, morning, on the way back, she tied the dog, stepped up into the trailer, I followed, pulled down her tights, leaned over the table, spread her legs, I moved behind her, mounted her and fucked her, filling her pussy. This happened for the 8 days that I was there. We moved after that. I thought about going back, but at no time did we ask each others name or anything else, just a nice morning fuck with a stranger.

 

[EverLux]

This is from a 1 1/2 story about sex on the jogging trail. Enjoy!

https://www.literotica.com/s/runners-high-2

[long-ass comment removed]

I almost didn't read it, because large blocks of text make my brain angry. But, oh my. Honestly, it's not a terrible premise for a story. It just... needs a little assistance. I wonder if he couldn't get it approved by Laurel, so he just posts it as a comment on people's stories.

Read your story, btw. It made me want to take up running

 

[Carnal_Flower]

I honestly can't tell if it's made up or really happened. Whatever, I feel privileged he chose to share lol

I almost didn't read it, because large blocks of text make my brain angry. But, oh my. Honestly, it's not a terrible premise for a story. It just... needs a little assistance. I wonder if he couldn't get it approved by Laurel, so he just posts it as a comment on people's stories.

Read your story, btw. It made me want to take up running

 

[lovecraft68]

the commenters
01/24/14 By: Anonymous
are awful hard on this writer after all anyone who would submit this story has to be a little slow if not then just plain retarded.

 

[J_R_Ashunwhy]

"Please tell me there will be a sequel to this! I am going to bookmark this story, and I WILL check back on this, and if there's no sequel, then I am going to be the last in a very long line of people wanting to kick your ass!"
sorry princess, but not only had I no intentions to continue that story, but that is so not the way to motivate me

"She called me a sexy senior citizen!"
...wait, where was I for this?

"collar me"
I would just drop an eye roll emoticon for this, but I literally can't roll my eyes hard enough over these^ kind of comments

 

[TamLin01]

Here's one from a week or two ago on an older story that I overlooked until just now (submitting a new edit for the story in question):

My penis shriveled Into my body and my eyes are bleeding. This was even more upsetting than that wendigo story. I don't ever want to fall asleep ever again.

The title of the comment? "4 out of 5." I laughed so hard it hurt.

 

[oggbashan]

I had 14 anonymous comments on my low-rated story Nylon Overall.

Most of the comments are longer than the original 1 Lit-page story. They're about the experiences of French children who had to wear nylon overalls and were spanked with a martinet for minor misdemeanors.

Having read them again today, I am just about to delete them, because almost all of them refer to sexual excitement under 18. I hadn't realised that before. The comments were so long and walls of text. I didn't read them, just sighed 'another one' when the next comment was posted.

They were all obviously from the same anonymous and the only comments I had on that story. In a few minutes that story will have no comments at all.

Edited to add: They're all gone. Most were from 2012, story length, and shouldn't have been posted on Literotica for being underage. Apart from me just now I doubt anyone would have read them.

 

[HandsInTheDark]

I had 14 anonymous comments on my low-rated story Nylon Overall....
They were all obviously from the same anonymous and the only comments I had on that story. In a few minutes that story will have no comments at all.

The problem with writing fetish-strokers is you attract the sort of people who read fetish-strokers.

I've discovered the secret to Lit: if you write stories where the sex is hot but the point is the plot and the characters, you get nicer readers.