High Five: I got a GREEN E

[lovecraft68]

I like the essay. Yes many men are insecure and threatened by a toy.

Many of them should be. If they knew what the hell they were doing in the first place they would have nothing to worry about.

Toys are enhancements not replacements. However, my wife has a girlfriend who has said more than once if her Hitachi Wand could walk the dog hubby would be finding a new place to live.

 

[A_Little_Show]

[deleted]

 

[patientlee]

That makes me very sad. It makes me sad that her husband is so unappreciated, and it makes me sadder that she says such things to other people. Imagine how he would feel to learn what she says behind his back. That's about as emasculating and cruel as a woman can be without a knife.

Is she saying he has been untrained in however many years of marriage [partly her responsibility] or that he doesn't care to try? If it's the later, I suspect I know why he doesn't try. She is saying she keeps him around purely for his very limited utility and has no interest in sex with him. How many times does he hear that before losing interest? She loves him so little and disrespects him so much...

Oh, I bet these people totally love each other, and that snarky humor is just part of the package.

 

[sr71plt]

But I'll bet she's the only one who's allowed to use it. Comes from watching a lot of American sit coms.

 

[PennLady]

That makes me very sad. It makes me sad that her husband is so unappreciated, and it makes me sadder that she says such things to other people. Imagine how he would feel to learn what she says behind his back. That's about as emasculating and cruel as a woman can be without a knife.

Is she saying he has been untrained in however many years of marriage [partly her responsibility] or that he doesn't care to try? If it's the later, I suspect I know why he doesn't try. She is saying she keeps him around purely for his very limited utility and has no interest in sex with him. How many times does he hear that before losing interest? She loves him so little and disrespects him so much...

I think you may be reading a little too much into that. I'd bet it's a joke.

 

[sr71plt]

You mean made up? Hmmmm.

 

[SamScribble]

Congratulations and jubilations! (Although I really can't stand Cliff Richard.)

 

[A_Little_Show]

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[Euphony]

I'll probably end up doing more harm than good but thought I'd add my thoughts since I did thoroughly read the work and consider it's points in detail.

I wrote an essay about why men shouldn't feel insecure and inadequate when their lovers use vibrators to achieve sexual satisfaction in the context of a loving relationship.

And kudos to you. It was a good opener on a lesser discussed topic. It was worthy of a 5 and its Green E.

However, for such a seriously complex topic, I thought it more shed light on the subject and invited further discussion than giving actionable solutions.

This, mostly, came from the fact that the "in the context of a loving relationship" you mentioned never really landed for me. It felt assumed rather than explored further (Id have given tons more examples of things a loving relationship has other than her sexual availability) And it's a point I think you'd really need to drive home for it's intended audience because they are likely insecure in their relationships as is so you pretty much have to hammer it home that they are in a good relationship place even when they are sure they are not.

And the whole communication aspect and its critical importance felt sparse. You gave good starting places/launching points, but, imo I didn't feel a guy would get solace from it. It's weird to say but it seemed like a females point of view on how a male might feel towards this subject and how to assuage/allay his fears.

Again, overall a very good work. Too short and simple for the complexity of the topic (if you made it, say, chpt 1 of a series it is dynamite as is) I applaud you for bring it to the forefront for discussion. If you go further with it, you will be my personal hero.

Lovecraft68 is the master: He writes one sentence that successfully invalidates my essay and justifies fears of inadequacy expressed by men.

LCs point (which I think has been blown way out of proportion by some) is that there is a counterpoint to yours. He's not invalidating your essay, he's just reminding that there are all sorts of variables about and that in some segments of the female population, its okay to joke about "my friend the vibe" when there are male/female troubles.

His is obviously part of an example lacking the "loving" component you've said exists in yours. Not all those who struggle with inadequacy issues have great partners. Some have quite shitty ones who make a bad problem WORSE or ARE the problem themselves.

For those who think it is just a joke. I don't know what to say to you. I'm trying to think of things a husband could say "more than once" behind his wife's back that would so thoroughly undermine and humiliate her. How about "She's such an ugly fat fish wife that if my whores would wash my clothes, she'd be looking for a new place to live." Can you imagine a situation where that would be an in-bounds joke?

I think you may be a little to close to the topic to see all sides of it (which are displayed here)

First off, I didn't really see anyone who truly saw it as a joke, especially if they thought about it in any sort of extreme context like your example. For some people, its seriousness can be confusing as it was and always has been a non issue for them and their partners.

I could write a piece on the difficulties of letting ones hangups go so you can fully enjoy self pleasure. Plenty of people it wouldnt touch a cord with because thats not their life's experience. I might even get a few people joking how trivial a thing it is. Well, I realize that their lives and mine differed obviously. They arent going to sway me nor I them.

- I mention whores because they presumably love the husband about as much as the wand loves the wife.

- I mention "ugly fat fish wife" because to impugn a woman's utility for sex, she must be described as undesirable and unpleasant. In contrast, impugning a man's utility for sex only requires saying he's completely replaced in all matters of sex by a toy.

I just found this extremist. I don't think anybody in this thread thought it in this light and if they did, they wouldn't think it a joke or funny. We're all very different here and surprisingly respectful considering how little we really do have in common. (this isn't a Buffy forum. It's sex. Most everybody does "sex" so there are tons of forms and variations.)

And as for how the rest of the thread will transpire, old grudges and other things that have nothing to do with you, the topic, the essay or anything else relevant will come up and derail whatever thoughtful discussion there was to be had.

D'ems the AH forum sometimes. Le double edge sword indeed.

 

[StrangeLife]

Short but entertaining. Your E is well deserved. Congratulations



Personally I'm totally ok with wifey using a vibrator...


... even if it's huge....


...and black...


...and she named it "Leroy"...


... *SOB*...


... *snifle*...

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

First off, a confession: I don't care for A_LITTLE-SLOW. I wish large flying monkeys would swoop down and carry her off to the Wicked Witch's castle.

Second, I didn't score the essay or leave a mean-spirited comment.

But I have an impression.

Its not an essay. What it is, is a WalMart plastic bag fulla stuff; mostly loose associations and tangential points. Its a premium grade of word-salad that screams, ITS ALL ABOUT ME! AND I'M THE GOLD STANDARD FOR WOMEN EVERYWHERE! Pish posh.

I had to read it a few times to collect any sense from it.

Then the thought struck me, maybe she prefers plastic cuz she's a WALMART kinda girl who attracts WALMART kinda lovers.

Good writing it is not. Its what we call a plastic fuzzy.

Amen

 

[TxRad]

JB, if it comes down to deciding between your opinion and Laurels, I'll go with her every time.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

JB, if it comes down to deciding between your opinion and Laurels, I'll go with her every time.

No one has ever accused you of being the boy who said, THE EMPEROR HAS NO CLOTHES!

 

[jomar]

You usually do. Quite often as a matter of fact. Suspiciously often as a matter of fact

I can't tell if you are serious or kidding.

No. No he doesn't.

I agree!

I think someone needs to slip Lovecraft some tranquilizers--or at least hand him a napkin to clear away that foam coming out of his mouth this evening.

Yeah, not sure what that was about.

 

[sr71plt]

I hope folks are keeping notes on those dumping on the justifiable expression of happiness by someone who received a Literotica writing accolade (when--and probably largely because--those dumping on it didn't).

 

[sr71plt]

Yeah, not sure what that was about.

Oh, I know what it was about. He's not exactly subtle.

 

[carlieplum]

Some people aren't very gracious when other people are noticed. Here's what A_Little_Show wrote as comment on Ogg's Winter Contest winner, just as an example:

"I didn't like it because it could have been so much more

It's a sweet story, but it was too linear for me. It started with discussion of the flood and revelation of the field supplies and dry stable. It ended with the use of supplies and stable. Foreshadowing was as subtle as a club to the reader's head.

The village whore has a heart of gold. The story would be more interesting if she was a little more jaded and cynical after being used by half the village. In fact, her twisted sentiments about traditional sex might have made marrying a eunuch the perfect solution for her. I imagine she might be put off vaginal intercourse once her avocation has been soiled as a vocation. Her mind was never explored.

The wounded hero officer who is generous beyond belief and seemingly copasetic about being unmanned. His leg bothers him more than the undoubted trials of mangled genitalia. There is a limit to stoicism I think. The one woman who is expert at pleasing a man could be his sensual salvation. All details of his theoretical mental and sensual healing are skipped.

I suppose I'm perverse, but I want to know how their fumbles in bed satisfy each other's needs. He is presumably unskilled after never marrying. What is the sexual union of a eunuch and a whore? It could have been very interesting to explore his education in the art of pleasing her, and her experiments in the likely futile art of pleasing him.

How does a woman expert at pleasing men cope with the impossibility of giving her husband relief from the sexual tension undoubtedly kindled in a newlywed?

Shame on you for just mailing it in this time. You should not have won the contest."

 

[A_Little_Show]

I did not vote on Ogg's story. He knows I admire him tremendously. I didn't intend my comment to be ungracious. I meant it to be a thoughtful review given to someone who (in my opinion) has written masterpieces for Literotica and could have done so much more with the premise.

From Ogg's comments, I know he is very pleased with his winning story and said something about doubting he could top it. I am certain he can top it.

Ogg also replied to my comment, and I think we had a useful and courteous discourse.

 

[patientlee]

Some people aren't very gracious when other people are noticed. Here's what A_Little_Show wrote as comment on Ogg's Winter Contest winner, just as an example:



"Shame on you for just mailing it in this time. You should not have won the contest."

That's harsh.

 

[A_Little_Show]

[deleted]

 

[sr71plt]

Oh, I don't know. A comment of "You should not have won the contest" seems pretty discourteous to me under any circumstance I can think of. Did you really go beyond just thinking that after the contest was over and actually post that somewhere on the Web site?

Folks do realize this is supposed to be a "for the fun of it" site, don't they? (Although I think the Web site itself invites otherwise by putting up award money for contests with a voting structure like a sieve.)

 

[A_Little_Show]

[deleted]

 

[patientlee]

You think "girlfriend who has said more than once if her Hitachi Wand could walk the dog hubby would be finding a new place to live." is a joke but me thing Ogg could have done so much better is overly harsh.

Ogg did win the contest. Nobody can take that away from him. I don't think it was his best work I think anything else he has written had more merit. My opinion doesn't matter anyway, and I think (Ogg can correct my misapprehension) the Ogg understood my admiration for his talent. I certainly wouldn't have invested the effort or expressed a detailed opinion if I did not sincerely believe he missed an opportunity perfectly suited for his talents.

As a comment on his winning story on the story page for all to see? It was disrespectful.

Hitachi wand comment in the forum about someone I don't know? Not the same thing.

 

[A_Little_Show]

[deleted]

 

[sr71plt]

You think "girlfriend who has said more than once if her Hitachi Wand could walk the dog hubby would be finding a new place to live." is a joke but me thing Ogg could have done so much better is overly harsh.

Who is the "you" you refer to? I didn't say it was a joke. My comments were quite to the contrary.

But I don't see that waving one in front of us makes the other one a bit less discourteous. It's totally unrelated.

Added almost immediately after: I was composing this while the apology was posting. If I'd seen it, I wouldn't have bothered to continue the posts (although I still don't know who the "you" was). I'd just erase this one, but don't want to leave the impression that it was more combative than it is.