Hey! You BITCHES

[BrainyBeauty]

Whether it is the end of the full moon or just a typical cycle of the board, there has been an inordinate amount of crankiness, crabbiness and general unpleasantness here lately. All claiming to be bitchiness. And lots of "bitch slapping."

Well, I say you all are lightweights! There, I've thrown down the gauntlet. Since everyone and his brother (mother, sister, aunt and uncle) has posted a survey or quiz or test here, I might as well step in now and offer one of my own.

This is a great site, for those of us genuine BITCHES. It has good jokes, funny links and everything an aspiring or well-established bitch could want. Enjoy.

But take the test first to see if you truly do qualify or are merely suffering from the delusion that you are a

Certified Bitch

 

[PinkPetals]

Very cool site! I scored 155, therefore, I am a certified B I T C H !

*sauntering away with a maniacal laugh*

 

[BrainyBeauty]

Well, PinkP, looks like we are the only true bitches on the board. Is that possible?

I knew it. The others were fakers. I can't believe that no one else responded. Too afraid to post their scores, you think?

I know of 7 women here who always brag about their bitchiness. You cowards! C'mon. Take the poll and post your scores! LOL

 

[SexyThang]

Hold up...

170 here.

**takes a bow**

I, too, am bitch and proud of it!

 

[naudiz]

Say it isn't so!

145!? I'm getting mellow in my old age. I mean sure, I'm still a bitch, but 145 is teetering dangerously close to stable. Say it ain't so!

 

[LittleRedDevil]

Certified Bitch!

150

*Unfolds a piece of paper*

I'd like to thank the academy, oh wait, I don't. Why? Because I'm a bitch.

 

[cherrypop]

OMG!!! I'm stable!!!! What have I become?!?!?! *sobbing*


(thought you may get a kick outa this!)
Are u a B. I. T. C. H.?

Three guys, another woman and I were sitting at the bar talking about our professions.
The first guy says "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E, you know....
"Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist"
The second guy says "I'm a D.I.N.K, you know....
Double Income, No Kids."
The third guy says, "I'm a R.U.B., you know...
Rich, Urban, Biker."
They turn to the woman and ask her, "What are you?"
She replies, "I'm a WIFE, you know....
Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."
Then, they suddenly look at me and immediately I said...
I'm a BITCH!
What does a Bitch mean? BABE IN TOTAL CONTROL of HERSELF
So ladies, next time somebody calls you a Bitch...........
SMILE...........And say Thank You!!!!!!!!

 

[Gnufi Poppets]

I am taking this testing for the bitches, yahs? And it is that I am then scoring the 12. I am not being that high in the scoring which is not the bitch is Gnufi? I am then able to be taking home the bitches to be with me?

 

[Mistress]

Hmm..I dont need another quiz to test my Bitch abilities, I know I am one, and very proud of it. I'd tell you to ask my friends but considering I'm better then everyone else I dont have any! Laughs

 

[RudeNastyAssBitch]

71-140: STABLE
You know where your place is, but the thing is, you DOUBT
a man's place, and you deserve a whacking for that. You are
in touch with yourself, but only when you are in the shower
-- you lack the guts to tell a man HOW to be in *touch* with
YOU. Although most of the time you are tough as hell, you
sometimes become corny if a man says the right words -- you
are weak. Big slip there. READ ME: they are ONLY using
you! One thing we give you is that you have a sense of style, and do not allow your man to be a kitchen utensil (this doesn't mean that you don't KEEP him there). You know you deserve riches but you lack the guts to make a man get them for you. You know how to pick your victims but you don't dare torture them. Slouching like a man is something you've perfected, and you should be darn proud of it -- if you pay a bit more attention, you will end up inventing the
penis-shaped remote control, and thus free us all from the
"his and hers" stigma. You know how to get rid of your
problems (men), you just don't always have the heart, and
the thing is, when it comes to men, you should NOT have
one at all. You can get where you want, if only you'd be more of a bitch...


??????I Don't Give A FUCK About What The Stupid Test Says!!!

I AM THE RUDENASTYASSBITCH!!!!

 

[LittleRedDevil]

I prefer;


Babe
In
Total
Control of
Him

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[indyweasel]

Bitches..

Bitches with attitude.. Gotta love em

 

[Stormystarr]

Am I the only one who got 190? But I am proud!

 

[Puddles The Wonder Poodle]

I come by it naturaly

http://www.usa.venus.co.uk/cgi-bin/agifs/animgif1.pl?dogdrink.gif

 

[Nicole]

60 which is Smack bang in the middle of this .....

50-70: MEDIOCRE
Well, what can we say? You have too many dreams and too many men in them. Those two items do NOT go well together in a woman's world. You sometimes take what you think is rightfully yours, but if a man (snort) happens by and tells you it's a mistake only SOMETIMES you argue -- if the man has a reasonable argument, you give in. You have low expectations and think of cross-dressers as "really cool". You are loyal to your women friends, but then again, your big mistake is that you are loyal to men. You are too sympathetic for your own good and this will not get you any. Um, I mean anyWHERE. You are not a good example of a bitch.


The sad part? This is true

 

[PinkPetals]

LRD...

LMAO! I love it!

"Babe
In
Total
Control of
Him"

May I use that? (giving full credit to you, of course <g>)

Nothing wrong with being a bitch....but it doesn't do a damn thing about keeping my power on here in the land of blackouts!

[Edited by PinkPetals on 03-20-2001 at 04:25 PM]

 

[Madame Pandora]

BB

I tried to take the test. It kept coming up "does not compute."

I suppose this is because I am no longer a "bitch" but a "shit-stirring" Literotica member who does not contribute positively to the board.

MP

 

[BrainyBeauty]

MP
You realize, of course, that I started this thread with YOU in mind! LOL

Damn! I wanted to compare scores with you. Mine was off the charts. I kept getting a message that said "You BITCH! No one has ever scored this high. Go away and bother some other poor website and leave us the hell alone. You scare US!"

Oh, pshaw! Believe me when I say that you are a TRUE BITCH. Don't you care what anyone says...I think that title looks good on you.

Ladies, fellow BITCHES, I salute you all! Stormy- good score. CB I like your new icon; very cool. Nicole, I hope you are feeling better.

 

[SoftPeaches]

I got a score of 70, which is the high end of MEDIOCRE. I only put myself into bitch mode when it's absolutely necessary. If I was bitchy all the time, he'd just ignore me.

 

[Madame Pandora]

BB,

Okay, so I've gone back 3 times now to take that test - I did just like you told me and followed the directions, but the same thing happens.

It gets to the point where it is supposed to calculate, then the screen goes blank, there is this long male wail and then it comes back and says "cannot compute." Whimpering and sniveling can be heard in the background, but I think that's just noise.

Oh well...I guess I'll never know if I'm a certified bitch or not....

MP

 

[Purple Haze]

Madame, don't you see that quiz was not prepared for your level of bitchdom? Maybe you should try this one instead.

http://test3.thespark.com/bitchtest/