"Hey Mom! I Write Porn!"

[carsonshepherd]

Trying to decide whether I should tell her. She's been after me about letting her read my stuff forever.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Trying to decide whether I should tell her. She's been after me about letting her read my stuff forever.

Hun, as well as you write, she should be proud of you. You have such talent and such ability. I say go for it.

*HUGS*

 

[Guest]

Trying to decide whether I should tell her. She's been after me about letting her read my stuff forever.

When you say, "She's been after me about letting her read my stuff forever." I take it she knows what kind of "stuff" you write?

If so, that's the hard part done, I also say go for it!

Lou

 

[rikaaim]

Trying to decide whether I should tell her. She's been after me about letting her read my stuff forever.

You don't write porn and you know it. You write intelligent, thought provoking stories that really show the depths of human emotion and compassion. The butt sex is really artsy...really.

 

[Evil Alpaca]

Re: Re: "Hey Mom! I Write Porn!"

When you say, "She's been after me about letting her read my stuff forever." I take it she knows what kind of "stuff" you write?

If so, that's the hard part done, I also say go for it!

Lou

What she said . . . but with less cleavage.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Call it "erotica." It sounds so much more literate

Shanglan

 

[Quiet_Cool]

Re: Re: "Hey Mom! I Write Porn!"

You don't write porn and you know it. You write intelligent, thought provoking stories that really show the depths of human emotion and compassion. The butt sex is really artsy...really.

True. But isn't all butt sex artsy?

My family has no idea I write this stuff, and I still live with Mom and Dad (sadly...). I couldn't begin to say you should, but then, I guess if you've already told her you were gay, and she has come to terms... (hoping I remembered your sexual preference correctly and apologizing for the mistaken identity if I didn't)
Doesn't seem like much after that, but maybe that's just my mistaken viewpoint. You could always throw something together that isn't porn if you want to make her happy and aren't ready to give up your writing topics.

Q_C

 

[Evil Alpaca]

Call it "erotica." It sounds so much more literate

Shanglan

"Butt erotica"? (Butt it's NOT dirty Ma!)
"Anal erotica"? (Like auto-erotica, but with more tailpipes.)
"Gay erotica"? (It's SUPER, thanks for asking!)

 

[carsonshepherd]

Re: Re: "Hey Mom! I Write Porn!"

When you say, "She's been after me about letting her read my stuff forever." I take it she knows what kind of "stuff" you write?

If so, that's the hard part done, I also say go for it!

Lou

No, she doesn't (although she's probably figured it out, since I refuse to tell her any details.)

True. But isn't all butt sex artsy?

Uhhh.... yeah, sure.

 

[cantdog]

I'm not sure this was the forum for the question, carson. We don't any of us know your Mom or your relationship with her.

Besides, you got three answers at least in just a few minutes.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Mom's cool; she probably would enjoy it. I just haven't taken the plunge and told her yet. I think she wants me to write the next "Little House on the Prairie."

 

[cantdog]

Oooh. What a visual.

 

[carsonshepherd]

I enjoyed it, myself.

 

[Seattle Zack]

M. Christian, who's a well known author and editor of porn, recently wrote a column about this on erotica-readers.com:

"The shock of September 11 is subsiding. Each day adds distance. Distance diminishes fear. Cautiously our lives are returning to normal. But "normal" will never be the same again. We have seen the enemy and the enemy is among us .... the publishers, producers, peddlers and purveyors of pornography."

It didn't take me long to find that quote, just a few minutes of searching. It came from an LDS Web site, Meridian Magazine, but I could have picked fifty others. Maybe it's because of the election, or because of a few horror stories that have recently come my way, but I think it's time to have a chat about what it can mean to ... well, do what we do.

We write pornography. Say it with me: por-nog-ra-phy. Not 'erotica'—a word too many writers use to distance themselves, or even elevate themselves, from the down and dirty stuff on most adult bookstore shelves—but smut, filth ... and so forth.

I've mentioned before how it's dangerous to draw a line in the sand, putting fellow writers on the side of 'smut' and others in 'erotica.' The Supreme Court couldn't decide where to scrawl that mark—what chance do we have?

What good are our petty semantics when too many people would love to see us out of business, thrown in jail, or much, much worse? They don't see a bit of difference between what I write and what you write. We can sit and argue all we like over who's innocent and who's guilty until our last meals arrive, but we'll still hang together.

I think it's time to face some serious facts about what we do. 'Swinging from a rope' hyperbole aside, we face some serious risks for putting pen to paper or file to disk. I know far too many people who have been fired, stalked, threatened, had their writing used against them in divorces and child custody cases, and much worse.

People hate us. Not everyone, certainly, but even in oases like San Francisco people who write about sex can suffer tremendous difficulties. Even the most—supposedly—tolerant companies have a hard time with an employee who writes smut. A liberal court will still look down on a defendant who's published stories in Naughty Nurses. The religious fanatic will most certainly throw the first, second, third stone—or as many as it takes—at a filth peddler.

This is what we have to accept. Sure, things are better than they have been before and, if we're lucky, they will slowly progress despite the fundamentalism of the current government, but we all have to open our eyes to the ugly truths that can accompany a decision to write pornography.

What can we do? Well, aside from joining the ACLU there isn't a lot to we can directly do to protect ourselves if the law, or Bible-wielding fanatics, break down our doors, but there are a few relatively simple techniques we can employ to be safe. Take these as you will, and keep in mind that I'm not an expert in the law, but most importantly, try to accept that what you are doing can be dangerous.

Assess your risks. If you have kids, if you have a sensitive job, if you have touchy parents, if you live in a conservative city or state, you should be extra careful about your identity and what you are writing. Even if you think you have nothing to lose, you do—your freedom. Many cities and states have very loose pornography laws, and all it would take is a cop, a sheriff, or a district attorney to decide you needed to be behind bars to put you there.

Yes, I think we should all be proud of what we do, what we create, but use some common sense about how easily you can be identified or found. If you have anything to lose, use a pseudonym, a post office box, never post your picture, and so forth. Women, especially, should be extra careful. I know far too many female writers who have been stalked or Internet-attacked because of what they do.

Keep your yap shut. Don't tell your bank, your boss, your accountant, your plumber, or anyone at all, what you do—unless you know them very well. When someone asks, I say I'm a writer. If I know them better, I say I write all kinds of things—including smut. If I know them very, very, very well then maybe I'll show them my newest book. People, it shouldn't have to be said, are very weird. Just because you like someone doesn't mean you should divulge that you just sold a story to Truckstop Transsexuals.

Remember that line we drew between 'pornography' and 'erotica'? Well, here's another. You might be straight, you might be bi, but in the eyes of those who despise pornography you are just as damned and perverted as a filthy sodomite. It makes me furious to meet a homophobic pornographer. Every strike against gay rights is another blow to your civil liberties and is a step closer to you being censored, out of a job, out of your house, or in jail. You can argue this all you want, but I've yet to see a hysterical homophobe who isn't anti-smut. For you to be anti-gay isn't just an idiotic prejudice, it's giving the forces of puritanical righteousness even more ammunition for their war—on all of us.

I could go on, but I think I've given you enough to chew on. I believe that writing about sex is something that no one should be ashamed of, but I also think that we all need to recognize and accept that there are many out there who do not share those feelings. Write what you want, say what you believe, but do it with your eyes open. Understand the risks, accept the risks and be smart about what you do—so you can keep working and growing as a writer for many years to come.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Thank you, SeattleZak. I think all this is particularly true of gay erotica. I work in a very conservative enviroment. I keep myself and my lifestyle very much private. Only my best friend knows the nature of my "erotica" and has read it. My mom does know my "stuff", ie my personal life. She just doesn't know I write sex stories. I always told myself, when I start to make money at it, I'll tell her. Will she find it shocking? Probably not as much as I think.

 

[rikaaim]

Being young and naive, I told a few people that perhaps I shouldn't have. I told my sis, and that's no big deal. But I also told my buddy at work, and that's the one I may regret the most down the line. I'm not sure. I don't think it's a big deal, but only time will tell.

 

[Belegon]

Being young and naive, I told a few people that perhaps I shouldn't have. I told my sis, and that's no big deal. But I also told my buddy at work, and that's the one I may regret the most down the line. I'm not sure. I don't think it's a big deal, but only time will tell.

I told my best friend who works in the same building. She shared the info with some people I did not expect her to. No harm done, her judgement in who she could and could not tell was sound.

The ultimate result of telling her? The New Neighbors .


I guess she didn't mind...

 

[rikaaim]

I told my best friend who works in the same building. She shared the info with some people I did not expect her to. No harm done, her judgement in who she could and could not tell was sound.

The ultimate result of telling her? The New Neighbors .


I guess she didn't mind...

Well... the only problem is that the buddy is the pharamcist that I work with. I'm a pharamcy tech, and he is techinacly my boss. I warned him though, so we'll see what happens. I don't think anything will really happen, but who knows.

 

[Belegon]

Well... the only problem is that the buddy is the pharamcist that I work with. I'm a pharamcy tech, and he is techinacly my boss. I warned him though, so we'll see what happens. I don't think anything will really happen, but who knows.

My boss when I started knows. He is now at another location though. Most of my supervisors know I write but they only know the sports stuff...what can I say? It is a very conservative industry.

 

[rikaaim]

Yeah, I'm young and this is just a job to me. It's not my life. I really want to be an English teacher now. And that's mainly because of everyone here and my wife supporting my dreams and my passion to write. I love to write, but I could never do it under a deadline. So, I'll share my gift and joy with youth and hopefully inspire someone to write like I was inspired.

 

[Belegon]

Yeah, I'm young and this is just a job to me. It's not my life. I really want to be an English teacher now. And that's mainly because of everyone here and my wife supporting my dreams and my passion to write. I love to write, but I could never do it under a deadline. So, I'll share my gift and joy with youth and hopefully inspire someone to write like I was inspired.

If I had it to do over I might go the teaching route. My mortgage would never survive a year of student teaching though...

 

[rikaaim]

If I had it to do over I might go the teaching route. My mortgage would never survive a year of student teaching though...

That's kinda what I'm scared about. I know right now I could become a pharmacist and make at least 80k a year. And that's a low estimate. But I would never be happy.

 

[carsonshepherd]

That's kinda what I'm scared about. I know right now I could become a pharmacist and make at least 80k a year. And that's a low estimate. But I would never be happy.

Happiness doesn't come from a job, at least for me. A job is something that pays the bills so I can write.

 

[rikaaim]

Happiness doesn't come from a job, at least for me. A job is something that pays the bills so I can write.

That's how I feel right now. Now I go to work and then come home and write. That's when my real job starts in my mind.

P.S.-Carson, my story is coming along quite nicely.

 

[Belegon]

Happiness doesn't come from a job, at least for me. A job is something that pays the bills so I can write.

money does not buy happiness. I see unhappy rich people all the time. But half of their issue is they don't know how lucky they are. I don't think any of the three of us would have that issue.

Money is not the answer. but it does not suck either.