Hey, I like feedback too.

[TMaskedWriter]

Can't think of a specific one I'd like it for. "A New Day Dawns For Susan" is the last one I've finished, but any are good really.

https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=3259834&page=submissions

 

[Kantarii]

Sadly, one is more apt to get a vote to their story posted on Lit and even fewer comments posted based on the amount of views the story actually received. Don't let silent votes and few comments discourage you from doing something you enjoy.Kant

 

[8letters]

Can't think of a specific one I'd like it for. "A New Day Dawns For Susan" is the last one I've finished, but any are good really.

https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=3259834&page=submissions

Mind Control isn't my thing. I thought about trying to give one of your stories a look but they all look interrelated stories about Troy, Julie and Susan. I'm not interested in jumping into the middle of a story.

 

[TMaskedWriter]

I should've listed the order, sorry.


* A Conversation Amongst Equals
* Great Day For It
*How My Day Was
Long Day's Journey Into Susan
An Intermission Amongst Equals
The Day Before The Day
As Day Follows Night
A New Day Dawns For Susan
Night Brings The Hunter (In Progress)


*=dialogue only

 

[8letters]

I looked at "A Conversation Amongst Equals". I didn't like it. Having just dialogue was very confusing to me - I was never sure if it was Troy or Julie speaking. Because the dialogue wasn't grounded in descriptions, I found it hard to process. Narrative summary would have been a better way of presenting the information and I hate long blocks of narrative summary to start a story.

"Great Day for It" is better, but pure dialogue is still hard to read.

 

[TMaskedWriter]

Seems to have been the most common complaint, which is why I marked those stories with an asterisk. Eventually rewriting the older ones is on my list of things to do.

 

[hadruprider]

I read the first of the New day for Susan ones. I didn't like it. There was nothing I found interesting to draw me into the story and I found the style and the number of characters confusing. Was it a mind control story? If so, who was controlling who? In the writing, you use brackets too much IMHO, which breaks up the flow. Sorry!

 

[TMaskedWriter]

I read the first of the New day for Susan ones. I didn't like it. There was nothing I found interesting to draw me into the story and I found the style and the number of characters confusing. Was it a mind control story? If so, who was controlling who? In the writing, you use brackets too much IMHO, which breaks up the flow. Sorry!

The mind control comes in chapter two. I guess you'd have to know the characters by then, hence the recap at the beginning.