Herd animal or not?

[SeaCat]

Areyou a herd animal or do you walk your own path? Think about it.

Today I realized that I don't follow the herd. I pay for this in the comments directed at me.

People in work know I am looking at getting a bike. I and my wife are constantly approached by I'm sure well meaning people who tell us they don't think it'sa good idea for us to get a bike. They point out the deaths and injuries, yet they refuse to look into the causes of the accidents that created these deaths and injuries.

These are the same people who make comments about my long hair. (I'm the only guy with a Pony Tail in work.) These are the sae ones who made comments about my close friendship with Rosa. Yes these are even the same people who made derogatory comments about our buying a Mobile Home and fixing it up. (We're about halfway through.)

In all of these cases I or we are doing something different. Because it is different it is perceived as a threat to their lifestyles. We don't follow their herd mentality and they are scared by this. Because of their fear they feel they must bring us back into their self perceived well mannered and well ordered way of life. I refuse by the way.)

Do you deal with this? How do you react?

Cat

 

[cloudy]

I ignore it.

I'm an anomaly in this smallish southern town. I'm extensively educated, raised on the west coast, and think that there's not a damn thing wrong with homosexuality or writing erotica, for that matter. Most are born, raised, and will die here, think gay sex is evil, and have never even thought about going to college.

To say I don't fit in is putting it mildly. I don't care.

 

[cantdog]

I tell you true, dude: I lay low. Last thing I need is somebody deciding I need to be put away. But I'm so weird I produce a bow wave of weird which comes into a room before I do. Thank goodness i got gray hair.

 

[MagicaPractica]

I do not follow the herd and yes, I have paid for this time and again.

 

[starrkers]

People around here think there's something wrong with me - I think gays and those of different races are people; I'm well educated and unemployed; my children are expected to think for themselves and be able to articulate their opinions, which are just as valid as anyone else's.
I live in "primitive" conditions behind a half built house that hubby and I are doing ALL the work on and I'm not expecting to move into that house for a couple more years yet (yes I am beginning to worry that hubby's health is going to completely fail before it's finished - but I ain't telling them that).
They look at me funny down the street sometimes. Screw them.
I used to be a herd animal and the stress nearly killed me. Now I'm me and the world can find its own way to hell.

 

[Stella_Omega]

We humans are not herd animals-- we are tribal animals. There are subtle but definite differences, when you think about it...

 

[glynndah]

I actually try very hard to be one of the "herd", but it never, ever works out. Once in a great while I wander into the right herd, though, and it's wonderful.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

I'm usually going the wrong way down the one-way street...

 

[ms.read]

At work i try to stay low. but im like the elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about. im considered to be the black sheep in the family, "the wierd, accident prone,highly intelligent, little girl."

 

[WRJames]

Would anyone here ever think they were a herd animal? Not likely. Maybe over on GB.

 

[cantdog]

Don't moo good.

 

[Lisa Denton]

Hi Cat. I made a few worried comments to you about my opinions on motorcycle safety, but said have fun. Then I read how you were going to take a motorcycle safe driving course and stuff, and knew you would have safe fun (disregard the un-intended condom pun) and you seemed like you would be a motorcycle rider who would be safe to yourself and other motorists.

Many people have a herd mentality, like the guy who says "I don't know nothing about computers but I want the biggest, fastest one" and having that computer means nothing to him, except his status in the herd, as he shows it to his friends.

Other people follow the herd for safety, and I don't blame them for that, or those who follow the herd out of stupidity, its prolly best.

Those of us who don't follow the herd, intelligent thoughtful people, are looked at sometimes with a little fear, or envy. I have found that by being nice to those who view me with suspicion often gives those people the chance to look at me in a different light. Then the ones who accept me as different but ok are those whom I want as aquaintances and/or friends.

Those who continue to view me with suspicion or even subtle dislike because I am different also seem to hate it that I remain nice to them, so I remain nice to them out of spite.

The people who make thier own choices in a life full of choices may not be the happiest, but they have the best chance of finding thier own happiness.

Live to ride, ride to live ...... he, he.

JMO

 

[Guest]

I tell you true, dude: I lay low. Last thing I need is somebody deciding I need to be put away. But I'm so weird I produce a bow wave of weird which comes into a room before I do. Thank goodness i got gray hair.

You have gray hair????

(Our engagement is off!)

 

[keeblercrumb]

We humans are not herd animals-- we are tribal animals. There are subtle but definite differences, when you think about it...

As usual, Stella, you are exactly right. By wearing a ponytail, etc... you are acting as if you, in fact, belong to a "different" tribe.

We live in complex times for your average primate. We simultaneously belong to myriad "tribes", ranging from the town/state/country we live in to the political party we follow and the athletic team we support. In the context of each of these "tribes", there is an instinctual drive to uniformity and suspicion of "outsiders"...

Your decision to affiliate with the "long hair/motorcycle riding/mobile home" tribe in an environment where the tribal conformity is defined by "short hair/toyota/suburban home" is bound to stir these tribal feelings up. But that is certainly part of why you do it to begin with, I suppose. It is why I did it 30 years ago and the reaction of my "hometown" tribe was much stronger then yours, I'd warrant. I was making a statement about the tribe..... and so are you my friend.

Perhaps a more apt analogy is choosing to wear the wrong color shirt (i.e. "another" team's colors) to a football game. One hopes the reaction will be benign and in the perspective that this is not an important “tribal” affiliation… but physical violence is not exactly unheard of.

Tribal is may be. But if there was no reaction, I have a feeling it would disappoint you. It is, after all, how you choose to define yourself and present yourself to the other members of the tribe… you choose to follow your own path, to be different from them. But you are distancing yourself from them either consciously or subconsciously, and if they failed to react….. well, what would be the point?

And I miss my ponytail.

-KC

 

[Guest]

Oh, yeah. I'm apart from the clattering crowd.

Fairly typical for any artist/theater/musician type, I imagine.

But it is my uniqueness that makes me successful in my field.

I keep telling myself that, anyway.

 

[keeblercrumb]

Oh, yeah. I'm apart from the clattering crowd.

Fairly typical for any artist/theater/musician type, I imagine.

But it is my uniqueness that makes me successful in my field.

I keep telling myself that, anyway.

I heard you were "successful" because you are easy.


-Kc

 

[slyc_willie]

I heard you were "successful" because you are easy.


-Kc

If she was, she would have done you by now.

I was a 'herd animal,' once. Or maybe I was a sheep. As a soldier, I did what I was told, followed the rules, found a sense of identity in that.

Thank God I got out of the service.

 

[Stella_Omega]

...

And I miss my ponytail.

-KC

I've just started growing mine again.

The tribe is a different dynamic than the herd. There is a certain range of individualism allowable within a tribe; but there are, still, boundaries to that deviancy. And different tribes will have different tolerances, and can develop vastly different tribal cultures.

 

[elsol]

Can't classify myself as a herd animal... I'd be arrested for cannibalism.

 

[TE999]

There's an old sailors saying to the effect that you can't run by another boats lights.

I have always marched to Thoreau's 'different drummer'.

It has been difficult sometimes, but I have persevered. And I'm all the better for it and more satisfied.

I neither seek or need the herd per se, but I do enjoy the company of, and discussions with, folks of like mind.

Which explains my presence here.

 

[Liar]

Heh. Predictable outcome there.

When you ask people "Are you a herd animal or do you walk your own path?" almost anyone will say "No, I'm a unique snowflake, I walk to the beat of my own drum and struggle against the stream. It's eveyone else that are the conformist herd animals, not me, nu-huh."

So yeah, I'm walking my own path too. I'm the exception. Just like everyone else.

 

[Lisa Denton]

Heh. Predictable outcome there.

When you ask people "Are you a herd animal or do you walk your own path?" almost anyone will say "No, I'm a unique snowflake, I walk to the beat of my own drum and struggle against the stream. It's eveyone else that are the conformist herd animals, not me, nu-huh."

So yeah, I'm walking my own path too. I'm the exception. Just like everyone else.

Gosh Liar, you wear a freakin gas mask!!!

 

[Liar]

Gosh Liar, you wear a freakin gas mask!!!

Sorry bout that, it's laundry day.

 

[maggot420]

Sorry bout that, it's laundry day.

So your mask of conformity is at the cleaners?

 

[neonlyte]

I'm tribal. My tribe is a sub set of gifted porn writers who masquerade as normal people. Hey... what ever gets you off.