Her solider.. Her ghost (open pm first)

[AngelofyourNighmares]

Lillian Anderson
25
Image from http://www.sellebrity.org.uk/uploads/celebrity-images/204.jpg.

Lillian had only ever loved one man, she fell in love with her high school sweetheart and they had been together ever since that first dance at homecoming, she fell head over heels and it never went away. They were inseparable he was her first and together they discovered there sexuality.. Through the years they experimented with many different avenues of sex, she found she was submissive and he was very dominant, and they wouldn't have it any other way. They even attended the same college, and lived together off campus, when they were both 21 he asked her to marry him, and she readily agreed, they both agreed to finish college before marriage.

Now they didn't always have a perfect relationship, being so young and falling in love at such a young age, made it hard there parents said it would never work, but they always proved them wrong. However not long after the engagement her fiance and love of her life decided he needed to do more, so he decided to join the army and decided not to tell her... She was angry at first, but she loved him and supported him.

When she was 23 two years after her love joined, she got a knock at the door... It was not what she expected... She was told he was dead.. She was devastated and never could move on, school and her family was the only thing that got her through... Little did she know he wasn't dead.. He had Been kept at a prisoner of war.. She had finally moved on after a year, she even tried dating but no man was him... Losing him changed her.. She was harder now.. She didn't believe in love, she shut herself off from there friends... Even pushed there families away.. She spent most her time in school and working as a waitress at a all night diner.

Little did she know that the next time she would be working, she would see a ghost, she had been so angry with him, he had promised nothing would happen to him, and it did.. And she suffered with nightmares, tears, fears, and two years of pain. He was coming home and he was going to find his girl, make things right..but he would be a changed man As well... More rough around the edges, he had been through hell and back, the only thing getting him through was his Lily.

Open for one guy, looking for a story of love, pain, passion, anger, rediscovery and alot of angst and need. (pm first)

 

[Elvenoff1]

Scott Nightland
Age: 26
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-t3bO4g4z_...y-muscle-beards-jocks-smile-lockerroom-14.jpg

Scott woke when the DC-3 landed on the private airstrip just south of the Big Apple. It was just far enough to make the state department happy that there would be no reporters there to take his statement of how it felt to be finally freed, or the one question that all reporters asked was what was giving to the captors to ensure the release, that was the one question the state department hated to hear asked. His release wasn’t based on what was giving to the captors, it was what the captors had to give to get the government to hear their pleas.

Scott was ushered into the typical government issued Suv and rushed away from the airport His destination was to the CIA debriefing facility located somewhere in the folds of the city known to all as New York. The suv darted into the underground entrance to one of several hidden special operation facilities. Most returnees were always debriefed by the CIA for anything that the captive could tell them about the captors. Most of the information giving was names of people whom interrogated them, any names they heard mentioned while being held there, Whom were they locked up with if anybody. Any kind of information that the CIA could use for future intelligence operations.

After a few days of debriefings, medical examinations, psychology reports he was released. They took him to where ever he wanted to go. They set him up with an apartment and given enough money to support himself for a few months. That was their thank you for your service now your on your own. Even his term of service with the Army was expired and they cut him loose with a general discharge. He expected that to happen after what happened over there and what he really saw that was happening over there.

Scott made himself at home for a few days, staying home and letting it all sink in before he went out and tried to get his life back. There was so many things he wanted to do, people to see and the one thing that trump all he wanted to see Lilly. He wondered if she even knew he was back? Wondered if she had given up hope of him being released. So many questions ripped through his mind at once that he gave himself a headache. He decided to just go to bed for now, and when he woke he would venture out into the city and start regaining his life back.

It was about seven hours past noon when he woke up. Getting a pair of black shorts and tank top to match he began is quest to regain his life. He headed to the one place that he hoped she would still be there. Their old apartment was just a few miles off campus so if she wasn’t there he could check at the campus. He had a plan and now it was time to execute it.

On the way over there, Scott was hit with the reality that things will not be the same. She was angry with him when she found out that he had joined the Army, then not coming home when the others did just to find out that he was held captive. How hard that would have been on her for this long. He had to move slow and give her time to adjust to the situation at hand. His return…

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

Lillian had always been a very happy and open, sweet girl.. But all that changed the day she got that knock on her apartment door that he was dead. She was never the same after that for the first three months after hearing of his death, she took some time off of school... But that seemed to make it harder for her so she soon went back and got a job at a 24 hour diner, the diner was the only place where she was able to keep him off of her mind. She knew he would never come back and though, her family and even Scott's family told her it was time to move on, it had been two years, and she had tried dating but no-one ever matched up to Scott.. He was one of a kind.

Move on they tell her, how could she, Scott was the love of her life and they were to be married... But one tradgic day all her hopes and dreams were gone and she was filled with dread and pain. Everything and everyplace reminded her of Scott... She had thought about moving out of the apartment they once shared, but just couldn't, it was the one place that held the most memories of Scott. She just couldn't move out, instead she got a roommate to help pay the rent and bills. Jenni was probably the only person who didn't tell her to move on, to tell her it was time.. She appreciated it. Lillian had pretty much isolated herself from her family and friends.. From Scott's family too.

She sighed to herself and started one of her papers for class, but she just couldn't concentrate. She heard her cell phone ringing and looked at it, her brother... She couldn't deal with him right now. She knew he meant well, but even he reminded her of Scott.. They had become tight, both families had. She shook her head feeling bad for ignoring her brother.. But at the same time she pushed them away... She couldn't bare dealing with the constant reminder that she needed to move on. They had no idea what she was feeling or what she was going through.. Well they did.. But she didn't feel as if they did. She knew she needed to move on, but she couldn't.

She pushed so many people away people she needed... But when Scott died.. She lost the girl she once was. A text came across her phone from her brother... Lilly eventually we need to talk mom and dad miss you I miss you Scott's family misses you too, I know how hard this is but it's hard for us to... I love you.. Be well. She felt tears spring to her eyes, he was right... But right now she wanted nothing more to go to bed and cry herself to sleep. She went to her bedroom and went to the bed opening the drawer and pulled out a old picture of her and Scott.. At the senior prom. "I miss you Scott.." She whispered huskily to herself before putting the picture away.. She changed into a tank top and silk pajama bottoms, and cried herself to sleep.

The next day she woke up and took a long hot shower, she was glad she had early classes today, so she could get them out of her way, and get to work, the one place she could at least keep him off her mind at least for a while. She looked at herself in the mirror and realized her eyes were red and she had lost weight.. She had always been small, but it was clear to see the past few years had taken its toll on her. She changed into a pair of tight Blue Jeans, a tight fitting tee shirt, and white tennis shoes, and pulled her long red hair up in a ponytail. She looked herself over and decided she looked okay and headed to class.

Class seemed to drag and drag she was glad that it was over when it finally ended. She had a quick lunch on campus then headed straight to the restaurant she was tired and worn out, but she had a job to do. She needed to work... Or she would just go home and feel empty. She looked down at the necklace around her neck, the ring he had given her, he might be gone but at least she had a part of him close to her heart. She drove to work and parked in her usual spot, clocked in and got to work.

 

[Elvenoff1]

Scott got out of the taxicab when it pulled over to the sidewalk in the part of the city that he and Lilly used to run about in their frenzy moments of life. The pizza joint, the chicken place, where he loved their chicken and Lilly hated it, she always compared it to KFC’s chicken as if they were the ten star chicken servers. He chuckled when he remembered that day when he switched the KFC chicken breast with Sam’s chicken breast and gave it to her. After an hour and a half, she didn’t even notice the difference until he told her. She fired back that she knew it all along just didn’t want to make a bid deal out of it. “Yeah Right.” Scott said aloud as if she was standing next to him. He closed his eyes as the pain of missing her hit him hard.

He took a few deep breathes, nodded to a couple of people walking by. “Evening.” He muttered to them as they passed. His eyes followed their past down the sidewalk to almost every shop here they had history there. He chuckled again when his eyes found the old hot dog stand that was now closed for the night, but in his memory the very first time she tried mustard on her hot dog, he swore she was going to gag herself to death. The look on her face was priceless; her laughter after she got it all out of her mouth was light heartening. He smiled, chuckled at the memory. Then he moved on down the street. He stopped at the corner just a half block away from where they used to live.

“Damn!” his eyes burned as he fought back the tears. “God I missed you Lilly.” He exclaimed but there was something wrong. He stood there looking at the steps that escalated up to the Victorian door. Even the door had memories of them and the fun they had. He looked down at the ground as the operational work slammed him in the gut. HAD, was the key word. “DAMN IT!” He yelled, his fist smashing into the sign that was only telling everyone that this was a pedestrian crossing. “WHY!” he yelled up into the air as if the greater being would give him a reason for the hell he went thought, the loss that he had suffered.

This was bullshit, who was he trying to persuade that she would wait for him. It’s been two years since they even laid an eye upon each other. She was pissed when he left even though she tried to conceal the fact from him, and so now she was just to jump back into his arms after all this time and all will be well. He shook his head at his shallowness. There was many men that wanted her when she chose to be with him, with him gone she had plenty of men knocking on her door.

Anger filled his chest, “Yeah well fuck you! You weren’t thrown in some damn cell, beaten on a daily basis, told to betray the county he loved. Hell no you were here teasing every man with your curves just like you did back then. He waved good bye at the apartment. He turned away with mixed emotions of betrayal that wasn’t even justifiable. Still he walked away with an angry rage that seemed to blame Lilly for all that is going on right now.

He had to get out of the area, so he darted down a few alleyways, then made a right turn at a corner that bared no memories of her. He could smell the aroma of food in this area. Making his stomach churn in the worst of ways. He picked up his speed wanting to get past the aroma. The bright lights that filter out of the small dinner light the entire sidewalk due to the big bay window in the front. It reminded him of the Blackhawk spotlights. “Fuck, isn’t there anything around this place that don’t bring memories?” the pain was there as he walked past the bay window. He only glanced into the window for a few seconds before moving on down the sidewalk…

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

For some reason the busy lunch time rush did nothing to keep Lillian's mind from running, typically she hated her name, but there was only one person that called her Lilly and that was Scott, her brother sometimes, until she asked him not to so he reserved to call her Lil, she chose to deal with it, laughing at a sudden thought. She remembered the first dance, where they first met at homecoming, Scott was so handsome, and she was so shy, when he asked her to dance. She knew who he was but it was really there first encounter. She remembered when he asked her name and she frowned and gave it to him. She smiled briefly to herself... It's a beautiful name, she remembered him saying. She remembered that first date that followed after, He rang the bell and had a hand full of lilies... She remembered him saying... Lilies for my Lily that day she knew her heart was a goner.

Why now was she having these thoughts? She shook her head and was glad she was serving and not hosting. Her heart started to race, she needed to concentrate on serving her tables. "Lillian you okay?" Another waitress asked.. She nodded her head yes and served one of her tables. Maybe she should have stayed home today she thought to herself. She was biting her lip as she walked into the kitchen to grab more plates to serve to her other tables. Seriously though she thought to herself, get a grip on yourself. She told herself she should have taken a sick day, lack of sleep and not really eating much was starting to show.

Was everything always going to be a battle she wondered. She cleared her throat and got back to business. She wondered what was making things so hard tonight. She wanted him to be there.. She touched the ring on his chain, the ring had gotten to loose for her finger, so this was the best way to hold onto him. She remembered reading one of his letters after he left... And it hit her like a brick.. She felt weak, so she asked another waitress to cover her tables while she went to the bathroom.. She felt sick.

She rushed into one of the stalls, and her lunch was soon gone.. She finished and looked at her pale reflection in the mirror as she splashed water on her face, and dabbed her mouth, she was grateful for the gum in her pocket. "I look like shut." She mumbled to herself. "Lillian are you okay?" Ashley asked. "Yeah just something I ate.. I'm sorry" She said and headed back to her section. She took a deep breath and told herself to forget at least why she was here.

She smiled softly at her tables finally getting some sanity back, well what little she had left. When she agreed to pull a double, she didn't think she would be feeling like this, she looked pale, and it showed.. All the waitresses asked if she was ok finally she told them she was just fine, tired was all. Such a lie she told herself. Her shift leader told her to host for a while so she could rest, she readily agreed, she loved being in the front only having to seat people and look out the windows as she did so watching the world pass her by..

 

[Elvenoff1]

What the … He stopped with a strange look upon his face, it can’t be? Could it be? He looked over his shoulder toward the dinner’s bay window. Moments passed as he just stared at the window. No, that woman was too thin to be her. Damn, I need to go and get some sleep or chug down a gallon of coffee to wake up fully he muttered. He took a deep breath, held it, and then released it. Okay, the only way that I’m going to be able to sleep or even leave this area is to go back and make sure that wasn’t, it couldn’t be, not here in this dump! Therefore, it’s not her. He walked on for about half a block. Get with it Scott, Why not just go back and find out. He looked back at the dinner once more. Fine…

Scott walked toward the dinner; he could feel his nerves getting the best of him, which made him feel sick to his stomach. What if it is her what the hell am I to say to her, do I say anything to her? Do I just ignore her? Scott’s mind blared out the questions as if someone was going to answer him. He stopped once more as a lump formed in his throat. What if she has a boyfriend now, what then? Wouldn’t this just mess everything up? What if she just ignores me? Do I get up into her face? Do I just allow her to go her way? Do I confront her if she does have a boyfriend? What if she is married now what then? His mind raced with millions of questions each having no answers to them.

Finally, he decided to go in to the dinner and order a coffee. If it is her, he will just wait to see if she recognizes him. Then if she comes to him, then he will respond to her, if she doesn’t then he knows she is now spoken for and he will move on. He didn’t like this plan but he would never forgive himself if it was her and he never tried to get back with her. He had a bad feeling that it wasn’t his Lilly for the woman was awful thin where as Lilly was physically fit, well muscle toned. Where as this girl was just skin hanging upon bone.

He took a deep breath, walked the few feet left before walking cross the window. He opened the door and walked in he was somewhat jumpy and nervous while he waited to be seated. He hated these kinds of places for there were twenty seats empty and all he had to do was slide down into one, but nope he had to wait to be seated….

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

It had slowed down now that the afternoon lunch hour was over.. Normally she'd welcome this, but today she just couldn't get her head to stop spinning. She was pacing back and forth in between seating guests. She had a massive Headache. Of course she had a headache she only had a sandwich between school and work and even that hadn't stuck with her. She toyed with her necklace. She always thought of Scott, but today she was really thinking of him. She grabbed a glass of water, drank it quickly hoping it would sooth her nerves somehow. She found herself chewing her lip as she waited for guest.

Relax... Just relax she told herself. What the hell was wrong with her anyway, maybe it was her brothers text, maybe it's just because something about today really made her miss Scott. She was tired. If it stayed slow maybe she could leave early. Her boss walked up to check on her.. Like he was reading her mind. "When Rob gets here, I want you to go home, it's slow I think we'll be okay, you look like your going to drop." He said kindly, she nodded resolved, she really wasn't going to be much use to the place anyway. She hated leaving work early. It was best, she thought. She sighed wondering if she'd ever get her life back to normal.

She rubbed her eyes. She felt like she was on a sinking ship, though she wasn't. If one more server gave her a sympathetic look, she just may scream. I know.. I know, I look terrible. Well tell me something I don't know. She had bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep she endured. She cleaned tables and swept in between customers. She thought about texting her brother back, then decided against it. She would give him a call tomorrow, then again she said that everyday. Why did things have to be so damn hard? She just didn't know.

She looked down at the ring hanging from her neck and thought to herself.. Why? It was the same question she thought of everyday and every night, but Never found the answer. She heard the door open and stopped her sweeping. "How many?" She asked softly, looking down at the menu's not yet meeting the have that stood there before her.

 

[Elvenoff1]

Lips parted but nothing came out over the slightly chapped lips, not even the necessity of life came over or in those parted lips. A lump of unknown essence formed in the middle of his throat that threatened to choke him, but still he could not clear it. His body trembled slightly in his toes but immensely grew in severity as it traveled up his spine, across his chest and vibrated the air out of his lungs to where even the lump in his throat shook uncontrollably. His eyes gawked but did not believe what they gawked upon, his eyes watered for they did not blink for fear of losing what they gawked at. It has been so long since his mind has witnessed the most dynamic object in his lifetime that even his own mind questioned the image that his orbs sent to it, however, unbelievable may the image of what his eyes gawked at, what his mind believed to be nothing more than a mental image, however, his ears could never mistaken that voice….. “LILLY?” Scott’s voice was low, dry and jittery.

Stream of tears flowed from the unblinking orbs, down Scott’s reddened cheeks unhindered by any means, then fell like rain upon his uncovered chest. His hands attempted to reach out to ensure that what he heard, what he saw was actually there but his hands trembled to much before they could even make the journey up from their position. His heart was heavy as if he had lost everything dear to him. Not happy, nor enlightened but heavy due to the loss of time. His mind reeled with memories of her flashing before his eyes, playing back her words with each memory that flashed and compared them to what he was looking at and that unforgettable voice of hers.

He finally was able to inhale a clump of air, his body began to subside, his eyes blinked but his hands did not come up to grab her for he didn’t know if she was still his to touch. His mouth closed as he took in the air through his nose. His pounding chest subsided to where he could breath in comfort. His mind settling down as there was no more denying what stood before him. He slightly shook his head on how she looked so pale, tired and lost without a purpose. There was no way she was with someone, not like this, not in this state of health. She seemed incoherent with the things around her.

“Lilly, It’s me Scott.” He was finally able to speak with strength. He wanted so much as to reach out and take her into his arms but feared he had no right to do so. His heart ached, his body wanted to feel hers against his, his arms wanted to hold her so close to him that he could feel each breathe she took. But he didn’t, he waited for her to respond to his words, before rejoicing that he and she was now face to face for the very first time in years.

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

Normally she was more upbeat when she Greeted her customers, but right now she was just to tired, her stomach hurt from lack of food, and she had a terrible headache. She waited patiently as she waited for the man to answer her, she glanced up and noticed he looked familiar to her somehow. He looked just like him.. Her Scott.. She really needed to get home and get some sleep, her mind was playing crazy tricks on her, she quickly looked away, not wanting to offend the man before her. She grabbed a place setting and cutlery ready to lead him to his table.. He never answered her about how many so she just assumed one.

She heard her name faintly, but summed it up to her name badge,but something about the way he said her name sent chills up and down her spine. She wasn't sure what was happening, the man seemed upset, and now she felt bad, she had no idea why, she was being professional and yet she wondered what was wrong.. But she didn't think it her place to ask, and she really avoided his gaze, something she often did was avoid people's gazes, she felt as if they could see right through her. She wasnt sure to move to lead him to his table and or stay there, or even say something.

She thought to herself, ask him if he needs help.. But she didn't want to seem like she was being nosy, men hated that. She found she was biting her lip, to move or not to move, she questioned herself. She took a deep breath.. Do something Lilly, for the love of god, say or do something.. But she just didn't have the energy. Something was strange here... He looked like him... Yet different, hard maybe.. She didn't know, lack of sleep was having it's way with her. She was frozen, she was unable to move or form words.. Every where she went reminded her of him and in walks a guy that could be his twin.

The world was cruel she thought to herself. Her once bright eyes, had circles under them, she knew she must look a mess. The room seemed to be spinning.. Or was that just her head, she didn't know. She finally started to walk, to finally take him to his table. What he said next, stopped her dead in her tracks... Why would someone be so cruel to say that, Scott was dead. She turned ready to blast this man that stopped in his tracks as well. She looked again... Into his eyes...and knew it was... No he was dead.. Was she in some kind of a nightmare again..

She looked again, no this was real and that was Scott.. His voice, his eyes, his everything, suddenly the him spun and she felt faint, it didn't take long for that to happen. It was as if she seen a ghost, as she started to faint.

 

[Elvenoff1]

Scott watched how she turned three shades of white before her face, which confused him for he was only a captive, it wasn’t as if he was killed or anything like that. Surely she would have known that writing her while being a captive is quite frankly impossible, as he knew he wouldn’t get anything from her either. However, what he didn’t understand was why she was so thin, looked like she hasn’t slept in months. She looked completely broken. Then a slight anger built up inside of him, maybe it was a lover that has done this too her, maybe some jerk was lucky enough to receive her love and they completely walked all over her. If this was the case, then this Bastard was about to get a rude awakening.

Scott’s arms shot out, one around her waist the other taking a hold of her upper arm. “Lilly?” He pulled her into him for stability. He looked around and saw everyone gawking at him; they were almost as white as she was. “Can someone tell me what the hell is going on? Why are you all gawking at me?” He lowered Lilly into one of the booths. “Can I at least get some water over here?” He slowly began to fan some air toward her with one of the menus.

This fainting, he has seen this once before from her, it was in the biology class when they had to cut open one of those bullfrogs. He could remember it as if it was yesterday, the smell of the embalming fluid was very potent and the classroom fan was blowing in her direction so most of our frogs’ aroma drifted right into her work area. That day she turned at least twelve shades of white before she threw up…

His attention fell back to Lilly when someone handed him the glass of water. “Lilly, …. Hey… It’s going to be alright.” He whispered to her as he slowly began to rub over her back. His other hand holding onto her thigh. “Hey…Come on …calm down and breath.” He wasn’t forsure if she was coherent or not, but he kept on talking to her. “Hey, are you ever going to show me to my booth, I am kind of hungry.” He slowly rubbed her thigh. “Come on love … It’s going to be ok.”

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

Her head was whirling as she fainted, if she maybe had ate that day, well at least thrown up what little food she had ate up, she might not have fainted. She was in and out of it, she was tired, so tired, and she thought perhaps this was all some wierd dream. This was all some sick cruel joke, none of this could be real could it. She was in and out of consciousness, her body weak and confused... Just what the hell was happening she thought.

She barely felt him grab her, but something about his touch made her feel safe, something she hadn't felt in a very long time. She barely heard him say her name. She could feel his body against her own, if this was a dream, she didn't want to wake up. Everything went hazy for her. The world seemed as if she weren't there. People looked at him in shock. No-one really had a answer for him, cause they all were wondering what the hell was going on thereselves, not many people here knew Scott but the ones that did looked as white as Lilly. Everything seemed as if it were in slow motion as he laid her down gently in the booth.

One of the waitresses brought over a glass of water, and looked at him stunned, she did not know him, but she over heard him say his name. She faintly felt the fan of the menu against her face.

The patrons of the small diner had stopped eating and were enthralled with what was happening at the booth that the girl fainted at. She could hear the faint sound of people talking, no muttering to one another, the gossip mills have started. If this was a dream, she never wanted to wake up.

She felt herself slowly coming to or else she was just waking up from a crazy, long, dream.. A dream where her love was alive. She heard his voice, it was the sweetest sound she had ever heard. She could feel his hand rubbing her back gently. She started slowly coming to. Her eyes slowly started to flutter open. She finally woke and looked up at him.. "Scott?" She asked, tears in her eyes.

 

[Elvenoff1]

Scott smiled softly while he watched Lilly open her gorgeous eyes. His eyes watered up as her soft voice carried his name over her lips. It was as sweet and hypnotic to him now as it was back then. He then witnessed the small tears that formed in her ors within seconds of her saying his name. His heart was breaking while he watched the small stream flow down her check. He then at that very moment realized how much pain he had caused her. Him joining the Army, him leaving for training, him leaving for deployment, him foe being captured. All this pain was because he wanted to give more. What happened to him giving her more. He teied to swallow the lump that formed in his throat over this self-centered fact.

"Lilly. I'm so sorry." his tear dropping to her. His own hand reaching up and using his finger he wiped hers away. He wanted so much as to go back in time and tell his father that he wasn't going to join the Army just because he said so. He wished now that he stood up against him but he just couldn't do it. So he joined and look what it all caused.

He took a deep breath and told himself there will be plenty of time to talk about what happened back then, but now it was time to work on the future. He was back and it was time he grew up and do what was and is the right thing to do.

He wanted so much as to lean down and kiss her, but he still didn't know if he was the one that still burned in her heart. He knew she was still burning in his. He just looked down at her with that loving look he always gave her when he looked at her eyes. "I love you!" he spoke loudly letting everyone know that this woman owned his heart...

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

Her heart raced and she took a deep breath, her eyes looking into his own. She took a long deep breath, still unsure if all of this was real. She knew she was shaking all over, but she didn't move yet. She couldn't resist the tears that had sprung to her eyes. This couldn't be real, she thought to herself.. This was some strange joke, or maybe she had lost her mind. No this was real, Scott was there with her, he was alive. She wanted to speak but she couldn't find any words. She needed some air, she needed something. She finally seemed to regain some normal breathing.

She was so lost at the moment, and so confused all at the same time.

She wasn't sure what he was apologizing to her for.. She was told he was killed. She wanted to grab his hand... Take it and never ever let go, but she just couldn't. "Are you real?" She squeaked out. She didn't know what the hell was going on. She needed to sit up.

She wondered why this was happening... She finally sat herself up to sit beside him. She noticed the glass of water in the table and took a drink.

Before she sat up, she looked into his eyes deeply. He was still as handsome as she remembered. She smiled and blushed at his words, god how many nights had she waited and wanted to hear just that. "I.. Love you too... I need air.. " She whispered when her boss told her to go home, she smiled softly.

 

[Elvenoff1]

Scott’s face lit up upon hearing her response to his three little words. He chuckled at the demand to get some air. He helped her up from the booth. His eyes never leaving hers. “Thank you sir.” He mentioned to the boss that told her to get out of his dinner for the evening. He nodded to everyone as he walked with her.

He wondered why she seemed so distraught about seeing him. Surely the military informed her that he was released and was coming home. But that could wait for all he wanted to do was to hold her close to him. It has been so long since he got a whiff of her hair, the feel of her soft hand holding onto his. He missed that sparkle in her eye when she was happy or that snug nose when she was pissed off. He even missed her stealing all the blankets while watching tv on the sofa.

“I would ask how have you been but by the looks of you. I think I know the answer to that. Lilly, you asked me if I was real? What was that all about?” the unknowing got the best of him. “I also wanted to ask you if you were … umm.. You know it’s been two years and I just wondered if you ummm moved on.” he finally got the question out of his mouth. He felt like he was walking on egg shells but don’t know why he was so iffy with being here with her.

Stepping outside he allowed her to lead the way. Maybe she had a favorite spot nearby or a place she wanted to walk to that would help her calm down. He remained silent not wanting to push things to hard too soon.

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

The look on his face, made her light up within. She felt like she was floating on air, yet so confused at the same time. She thanked him softly when he took her hand, and helped her from the booth. God how she missed those eyes of his. She was grateful that she worked with a great group of people. These people always treated her with kindness, yet she never allowed herself to get close to anyone. She didn't say a whole lot as they left the diner.

People just didn't come back from the dead, that was impossible. She had so many questions, yet she had no idea where to start. She looked so lost at the moment, she didn't know how many times she had prayed for this to happen. He looked so good, still hot as hell, she thought to herself. Everything she dreamed of was right here in front of her. She felt her head spinning.

"You flatter me." She said with a light laugh, when he mentioned of her looks, she knew she didn't look well. You are dead... She thought... They told me you were dead, she didn't just want to come out and say it like that. She looked at him when he asked if she was with someone, for some reason she felt angry, she didn't have a reason to. "Never." She said, she didn't think dates mattered considering they were over before they started.

She started walking towards the park they used to frequent. She stopped part way there in her tracks. "Scott two men came to my house... They said you died!" She was so confused.

 

[Elvenoff1]

Scott's brow furrowed upon hearing about the two men who came to her door. He reached out and took her gently by the arm. He lightly pulled her back indicating the that he wished to look at her face to face. "What did you just say?" He heard her but just wanted to double check for that made absolutely no sense at all. His stare locked upon her, "Were they Military?" He asked quizzically.

Scott thought about it for a few moments bewildered but then he thought about when and where his squad was at. They were a black ball operation in enemy territory when they were over ran and taken as prisoners. The state department at the time must have declared them dead for they couldn't or wouldn't come to rescue us. So they had to stop the men's families from inquiring about them so all the families were told that they were killed in action. His face turned red with anger as he told her what he just thought of.

"I'm so sorry Lilly." He couldn't imagine what she went through, however, he didn't have it easy either. Always wondering what she was doing on everyday, wondering if she still loved him, or even if she was waiting for him to come back, at least she had closer, in a way. He didn't say that his to her, nor did he want to take anything from her hardship either. They both went through hell.

He put his hand upon her cheek, "May I kiss you?" His eyes sparkled with hope.

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

She felt the farmilar sting of that day, hitting her right in the heart, she couldn't believe this was all real or happening. She looked at him, when he took her arm. She was biting her lip when he turned her to where he could look at her face to face. He didn't seem to understand she thought to herself as if he was confused as to why someone would show up to her door. She looked at him softly her heart racing. She nodded her head when he asked her if the men were military, of course she thought, she wouldn't have believed him gone, if not.

She watched him as he seemed to be pondering himself what was going on, so he didn't know.. Then where was he, what had happened to him. She had so many questions yet she wasn't sure, she wanted to know the answers. She wondered if his family knew yet.. Of course not she thought.. They would have called them.. She had to let Scott know that his family thought he was dead as well. Her face was still a little pale and she still felt weak.

She noticed the anger in his eyes, and she wondered what had happened to her love.

She looked at him when he apologized, though he didn't really have anything to be sorry for. She was thinking about all the letters she sent that always came back return to sender before the men had came to her door. She didn't really know how to act right now, truth was they both had been through hell and back.. But to be told that the only person you ever loved was dead.. Took a toll on a person.. She still was rather confused.

She touched her necklace on her neck absentmindedly. She looked into his eyes.. She noticed something was different, but she couldn't place it.

"Please." She whispered, before they leaned into one another, deepening the kiss. They still had much to talk about but this was nice.

 

[Elvenoff1]

He kissed her several times in those few seconds of bonding before he slightly pulled back from her. His breathing was heavy while his face showed disbelief in what he was feeling at this very moment. "I have a lot to talk to you about Lilly, I don't know exactly why you was told that I was killed, but I do have a guess to why you was told that. But here and now isn't the time nor place, just know it wasn't by my doing." He looked into her eyes to see if she believed him.

What he seen was confusion, fatigue, Some denial that this was even real. He had to give her time to put things in perspective. This kind of mental trauma could damage people very easy. He had to get her home, He had to give her some space to allow her mind to catch up on what is going on.

"Come on Lilly, Lets go home. You need some rest." He put his arms around her and walked her home. He debated if he should stay, but if he didn't she would just think that it was a dream. So he would stay and sleep on the couch. Now he was upset with himself for just being here. He should have figured a different way to get ahold of her instead of just popping in and saying 'Hey its me!' Such an idiot.

Opening the door for her he slowly guided her to the bedroom where he removed her shirt and pants for comfort before putting her into the bed. He pulled the light silky sheet up and over her breasts before leaning down and kissing her on the forehead. Try to get some sleep. I will be on the couch. "I love you.."

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

Kissing him was like heaven, it was the best feeling in the world, this was a dream come true, she felt she could cry all over again. She loved him so much, yet there was still so much unspoken between the two of them, yet at this moment all she could do was thank god he was real. She looked into his eyes as he spoke, the mention of him being killed always tugged at her heart, to where she felt she couldn't breath.

She didn't think he was to blame.. She was angry but not really at him. "I don't blame you." She said gently.

She was tired from lack of sleep, lack of food, and the sheer confusion if any of this was really real. Her heart was racing... She hated him seeing her like this, she knew she looked horrible. Seeing him had really thrown her for a loop. She wished she could read his mind, because she knew his own mind was roaming.

She looked up when he spoke. He did have that right, she felt as if she could fall at any time. She didn't want him to leave her again, she felt a panic that he would. She didn't really know what to think at all. She didn't begin to really understand what was going on, but she also knew they would figure it out together. She was not prepared for any of this.

He led her into the bedroom, gently and she took a long deep breath, as she looked at him tenderly. She felt her heart pounding as he gently removed her top and her jeans, her hands were shaking, she hadn't had a man this close to her since he left for war. She smiled gently at him when he kissed her forehead. She didn't really want him to leave her, but she also didn't want to make things more complicated then they were.. She was so tired as it was.

,

 

[Elvenoff1]

He looked into her eyes trying to capture the lost time between them, but there was nothing there but pain and anguish that neither of them caused, but yet weighted heavily upon her for she had the worst of the situation. All he could do now was give her all the support she needed, and the time to adjust to what was then and what is now. She needed answers to why this happened, he needed answers to what comes next for he still had to go and face his family, to relive everything with them, that he just done with her. He wondered if he should ask her to come with him, and maybe he can retell what he thinks happened one time without trying to tell it several different times. He wanted to forget his past two years, the beatings, the starvation, the long cold nights he was cuffed outside on a stake to endure the weather and the bugs, but yet he knew he would have to tell everyone what happened over there.

He shook his head as he realized she was still looking at him while he was drifting off over the past. His hands wringing in a apprehensive manner, his breathing was raspy and shallow. The blue orbs were distant while watching his memory replay some of those nights he did wish he was dead. But then his heart show her now, what she dealt with when she thought he was dead and that made him feel so self-centered. He gritted his teeth as once again he caught him self being weird in front of her on looking orbs. “Umm, Yeah… I was just wondering when I should go see my parents. I know its going to be hard on them just like it was hard on you.” his hand moved over and lightly grasped her arm. “I need to let you get some sleep. Do you mind if I stay here and slept on the sofa?” his eyes showed the pain he was in, but his smile was one that said I’m dealing with it.

“I do, I did, and I will always love you no matter what. I will answer all your questions tomorrow when you have had a good nights sleep. Now, I will stay right here holding your hand so that you wont question if this is really happening. I want you to think of a white wall, nothing else but that white wall. Can you do that for me?” He hoped that what he did over there would help her here and now.. “White wall , close your eyes and look at that white wall.” He slowly started to hum her favorite song…

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

She still couldn't believe all of this was real, and yet here he was staring gently down into her eyes, part of her still felt like she was still dreaming all of this. She wanted nothing more than for him to just hold her close to him and never ever let go, but she wasn't sure if now was the time and or place for it. She wished she had been more prepared for this, but then again she was sure noone was ever prepared for anything like this to happen to them.

She bit her lip pondering on what was on his mind, this was hard for him too she knew, he didn't know that they were told he died.. he thought they moved on without him.. Lilly never could move on, she tried as she may.. but this man was it for her. She wanted to know what had happened to him, she could see the emptiness in his own eyes, and she wanted nothing more than to take the pain away from his eyes, they needed one another now more than ever.

She was watching him as he seemed to space off for a moment as she looked softly at his handsome features. She knew something was bothering him, could see his mind wander. He seemed lost and confused and she wasn't so sure she was right for him right now.. maybe he needed space.. to himself.. not that she wanted that. She wanted to feel some sense of anger that people told them that he had died, but right now she was just thank ful that he was alive.

She looked at him tenderly never once looking at him strange. She listened intently as he began to speak. She felt her heart breaking when he mentioned seeing his parents.. if she thought it was hard on her she could not begin to imagine how they would feel. She smiled when he grabbed her arm. She knew she needed sleep and yet she didnt want to close her eyes in fear that when she woke up he wouldnt be there.

"Of course I dont mind." She whispered huskily. She bit her lip fighting back tears but she masked them well.. what happened to him, was she prepared to know.. she wasn't so sure.. but she knew no matter what she would always be by his side.

She smiled warmly when he told her he loved her, it was music to her ears, she thought to herself. "I love you too." She said softly. She didnt know what kind of sleep would come to her most nights she couldn't fall asleep and when she did, she either had nightmares, or she just stayed up and stared into the darkness.. he didn't really need to know that. "You promise you won't leave?'' She asked in a fearful voice.

She looked up at him, and did as he told her.. not sure what he was going for but she trusted him and she thought of a white wall. "I can do that for you." She whispered feeling relaxed, well as relaxed as a person could be in this situation. She closed her eyes, but never let go of his hand, she didn't want to lose him all over again, hearing him hum her favorite song, eased her mind and for the first time in a long time, she fell asleep without the aid of sleep medications.. scary thing was would she be able to not have a nightmare.

 

[Elvenoff1]

Scott smiled as she slowly drifted off to sleep, He looked down at her with orbs of compassion, and He followed her jawbone to her soft, slightly chapped lips, up the bridge of her small nose. To her closed but restless eyelids, her brow was slightly furrowed but still had that beautiful natural arch to it, but deadly when she gave you that evil eye. He chuckled as he remembered getting quite a few of those, sometimes he did it on purpose just to get the ‘Make up’ cuddling with her.

He took in a deep breath when she jolted slightly, A lock of her hair fell down over her eye, “God you beautiful.” he whispered to her. His hand moved over and slightly removed the strand of hair back out of her eyelid. He loved watching her sleep, back in the day, she always seemed to be smiling, almost if a flirty way, but now he could see all the emotions that she was going through, but the one that tore him up was the one of pain. Only if he could go back in time, but one cannot do that so they must make it up with the time that was to come. He only hoped that she would allow him to make that up too her.

He was exhausted, but he refused to leave her side, so he just placed his head down upon the mattress. His orbs looking up into her face, still admiring all the tone she had, she was a little older, but her emotional stress aged her more than what her physical age was. It didn’t matter to him how she looked, he just worried about what she is going through emotionally. He sighed, knowing that his behavior would eventually come out and he was scared to death of how she was going to react. He pushed himself up from the bed, not willing to go to sleep, for every morning he wakes up screaming, sweating, as if he was still there.

He got up, walked back into her living room, and began to clean up the already clean apartment. He just had to make it for a few more hours to ensure she was okay in the morning then he could go home and get some sleep. Then he didn’t thank she would allow him to go home alone, she would want to stay with him. Nevertheless, could she handle his Demons? In her state, he doubted it.

When morning came, he took in her favorite breakfast, her coffee, but he could not find her hazelnut so he used vanilla instead. He cooked the bacon just as she liked it, but the eggs well they did not come out right the first five times, so he had to just live with the sixth for she had no more eggs. He even for the fun of it, made her OJ as he did before he left, left some pits in it, just for fun… He chuckled as he walked into the bedroom and lightly nudged her… “Morning, Lovely.” he whispered to her…

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

She didn't really want to go to sleep, for she was afraid none of this was even real, but it was, her mind was not playing tricks on her, Scott was really there with her, and even though she knew he wouldn't just leave her again, she just couldn't help but worry he would be gone when she woke up.. She lost him once, she wasn't sure she could handle it again. For the first time in a very long time, she actually didn't toss and turn before falling asleep.

She knew this wasn't just a dream, he was really there holding her hand.

She jolted a little, but didn't wake up. She faintly heard his voice whisper to her and it made her smile in her sleep. She felt his light touch and sighed in her sleep. She hadn't slept a good night sleep in god knows how long, but with him there she felt safe and loved. She had a few minor bad dreams, but none that woke her up like normal, it seemed the Sweet Dreams of him there with her, counteracted the bad ones, she always seemed to have. She had no idea what he had gone through, but no matter what she would be right at his side.

A few times in her sleep, she would squeeze his hand. Her breathing was heavy as she slept, she hadn't really had a good nights sleep, without nightmares in a long time. She knew she was probably all over the place, but she also didn't know how one was supposed to act when the person who you thought died was actually very much alive. She woke a few times throughout the night, and noticed that he never left her side, it warmed her up from the inside out. She wanted to wake him the few times she noticed him doze, knowing it only happened now and then, so she just closed her eyes and fell back asleep.

She had Sweet Dreams of him kissing her, holding her close, as If they never once had been apart. She knew a few times, she had mumbled in her sleep, she hoped he hadn't noticed. The mumbles were those of don't leave me, I love you, sweet nothings as most would call them. She shook a little in her sleep, since losing alot of weight she got cold easily. She stretched in her sleep and turned to her side.

She, woke a little the smell of aroma hitting her nostrils, a farmilar scent she hadn't smelt in a very long time. Still her body wasn't prepared to wake up just yet. She heard his voice and groaned as she smelt the food, and then slowly her eyes fluttered open... Most the time she couldn't eat, or she would throw up when she did, he didn't need to know that.

 

[Elvenoff1]

While looking down upon her slowly awakening mode, he thought to himself ‘well at least not everything changed’ he smiled inward. His mind drifted back over the night on how she slept. Her battle within was physically harsh upon her, she would jolt as if startled by a shadow, then she would smile as her dream changed but then she would clench his hand as if she was subconsciously checking to see if he was real. He just returned the gentle squeeze of her hand letting her know in her dreams that he was real and still here.

Then, later during the night he heard her light mutters that filled his heart with warmth, admiration for her devotion to him, which when he was captured he didn’t really know what was going on with her, he didn’t know if she would wait for him. He wanted to believe that she would, but he has seen so many Dear John letters come to his fellow soldiers even when they were accessible via phone, or letters, but being captured there was none of that nothing between them for two years, some couples drift apart in just months but yet her waited even when she thought he was dead she held onto him.

He put himself in her place to try and feel what she went through but he just couldn’t really know what she went through and it would be a false tense if something was felt. He just had to stay the course he was on and allow her to calm her own inner battle, but be for her when she needed support and understanding.

He shook his head when her groan flowed up from her lips, but yet keep her eyes closed. He wanted to say wake up sleepy head, but the way she slept last night must have been the best she had slept in a very long time and it really wasn’t a peaceful sleep, so what was it like with him not here and she thinking he was dead? A living hell! So he only smiled and allowed her to wake when she damn well wanted too.

His brow shifted when her face took on this strange look of ‘I’m gona get sick’ look on her face even though she said nothing. He looked down at the plate with a puppy frown. “I know your not giving me that look due to my cooking!” he played the hurt soul card … But figured it was something else, one of her physical stress effects that her body went and is going through. He turned and put the food on the chest of drawers away from her so she wouldn’t get sick.

Walking back over to the bed, he took a seat next to her. His hand reaching up and lightly cupping her face. “Your gorgeous when you sleep and even more so when you wake in the morning.” He wasn’t buttering her up at all, he was very sincere on his words to her. “I missed you Lilly.” He whispered over his trembling lips. His eyes melting into hers. “I know I’m not the only one that went through hell, but I cant really say I know how you feel for I don’t and cant. What I can say to you is that I am here if and when you need me. I will understand if you need a moment to yourself, or if you wish for me to shut up and let you have a word in..” He smiled wanting to turn the moment into a warming up one not a heavy one..

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

She had never really been much of a morning person, the one thing that they never had in common, she was sure she never would be much of a morning person. She wanted to wake up, she didn't want to lose a moment of time with him. She still had a rough night of sleep, she knew she was up and down, and that a few times throughout the night she had woken up just to make sure he was still there with her.

She knew he wouldn't leave her again, unless he had to.

Surely he would have known that if she thought he was only a capture she would have done everything to get him free, she would have written him every day and night, even if she knew he would never get the letters, she wondered why a few months before she was told he was dead, that her letters kept coming back to her, as return to sender. She never really thought about moving on, though both families told her she should.

She loved him more than she ever loved anyone, even her family and friends... She knew she would never love someone the way that she loved him. She had no idea what he had gone through, but she knew eventually they would have to talk about it, but it scared her, she had been so sad and angry and alone for so long, shutting out there family and friends, she knew she wasn't easy to be around, and she didn't want to depress anyone else or bring them down to where she was.

She groaned softly, this was the first time in a long time that she had a half way decent nights sleep. She wondered if he knew how different the apartment looked, how different the bedroom looked as well, she wondered if he noticed the ring around her slim neck. She wanted so badly to just ask him to lay with her and hold her tight, but in all honesty she was scared to death. The food smelled delicious and for the first time in a long time, she smiled to herself, really smiled.

She however felt a little queasy, she didn't really know if it was lack of food, or just that her body didn't really respond to food well. She couldn't help but feel horrible at the look on his face. She shook her head gently no, wanting him to know it had nothing to do with his cooking. She watched him thoughtfully as he placed the food on the dresser away from her... She was starving however, and yet she didn't really feel like eating.

She looked softly at him when he sat on the bed. When his hand touched her face, she sighed softly against his touch. She couldn't help but giggle a little and blush, she knew she looked a mess. She knew he meant what he said, as she sat up on her bed and ran her fingers through her hair. How many times had she wished he would be there telling her he missed her, god how she had missed him. She touched his hand softly as she looked into his eyes.

His eyes were intense and full of love and fear at the same time, what had her love been through. She looked up not letting his hand go as he spoke, she wanted nothing more than to turn back time and let him know she never let go of him. She loved hearing him say that he would be there for her, but she was sure he got the worst of the ordeal. "I don't need to be alone.. I've been alone for a long time now.. Just stay with me, you've been through hell and back literally." She whispered and fought back tears.

"I think I need to eat, I only had salad yesterday and I didn't keep it down." She said feeling pitiful admitting that. "My roommate isn't going to be back till tomorrow, she's staying with her boyfriend.. Will you come to the kitchen and eat with me?" She asked hopefully.