Help....

[cybergirly]

Suprisingly, no.

I'm not a psychitrist, and I don't want to pretend to be, but it seems to me its all a mental reaction to the abuse you suffered. Which can very easily lead to a physical reaction as well. Don't be to worried about not having an orgasm. (hell I was sexually active at 16 and thought they were a myth till I was 24)
Have you ever seen a counsler? And don't be to worried about being nervous with your gyno/ we all are, find a female doctor if you can, and remember its your doctor, if you don't like them get up and leave your paying the bill.

 

[eversobeautiful]

have you inserted the vibrator/dildo?

Umm, like a itty bit.. I get scared.... suprise, suprise... I need a new one..

OH OH!!

Anyone recommend any? Vibrators... books etc...

 

[weed]

You may want to look for a nurse practitioner, a female you can be free to talk with.

You need an understanding partner who's willing to go slow. Trust is essential. Hopefully he can get you off before he gets to penetration.

When it gets to the nitty gritty, if at first you don't succeed, try pulling you knees up to your sides. Sometimes it's a matter of position.

 

[Nora]

Good girl!!

I think you've got a good head on your shoulders (of course, I love everyone who agrees with me!!)!

So wow...

Let me reiterate? You can use a vibrator, but don't orgasm from it. Sex with a man was painful.

Ok, was the sex with the man only the once? The time you were molested?

When you try to masturbate, what do you think about? Do you remember the molestation and then you freeze up? (which would be perfectly natural, i'd think!)

 

[eversobeautiful]

I'm not a psychitrist, and I don't want to pretend to be, but it seems to me its all a mental reaction to the abuse you suffered. Which can very easily lead to a physical reaction as well. Don't be to worried about not having an orgasm. (hell I was sexually active at 16 and thought they were a myth till I was 24)
Have you ever seen a counsler? And don't be to worried about being nervous with your gyno/ we all are, find a female doctor if you can, and remember its your doctor, if you don't like them get up and leave your paying the bill.

A sex counsler? NO..

Other ones? Dozens for molestation, bipolar, over and over and they never help... only the first few did and then... nothing...

 

[cybergirly]

A sex counsler? NO..

Other ones? Dozens for molestation, bipolar, over and over and they never help... only the first few did and then... nothing...

bipolar? hmmm are you on anykind of medication, that may be effecting your sex drive in anyway?

*edited cause I'm an idiot somedays...*

 

[eversobeautiful]

Re: Good girl!!

Originally posted by Nora

Ok, was the sex with the man only the once? The time you were molested?

-- It was guy at 16 and the molestation wasnt rape but they (2 men) used their hands when I weas 7/8 for over a year....

When you try to masturbate, what do you think about? Do you remember the molestation and then you freeze up? (which would be perfectly natural, i'd think!)

-- I think... GOD .. let me have an orgasm, please, lol...

 

[eversobeautiful]

bipolar? hmmm are you on anykind of mediation, that may be affecting your sex drive in anyway?

OMG!!!

I take.. lets see...

Bipolar is an illness btw...

I also have seizures...

I take 3 800mgs of Neutortin a day
4 100mgs of Neutorin a day
1 Celexa
1 Klonopin
1 Acifex
1 Viatmin

sometimes Vioxx... now the above is EVERY day no matter what...

 

[cybergirly]

OMG!!!

I take.. lets see...

Bipolar is an illness btw...

I also have seizures...

I take 3 800mgs of Neutortin a day
4 100mgs of Neutorin a day
1 Celexa
1 Klonopin
1 Acifex
1 Viatmin

sometimes Vioxx... now the above is EVERY day no matter what...

I don't know the side effects of any of these drugs, but I would be willing to bet somewhere in there, there is something that effects your sex drive. Talk to your doctor and find out!!!
Its very likely they can give you something else to counteract that side effect... and lol at this point whats one more pill right?

 

[eversobeautiful]

and lol at this point whats one more pill right?

So right about THAT!!!!

 

[Nora]

Re: Re: Good girl!!

-- I think... GOD .. let me have an orgasm, please, lol...

lol!!

Ok, so i think a lot of people made some great points. You don't need a sex therapist, hon.

It honestly sounds to me like you just need some time with yourself, so to speak. Time to be comfortable with your own sexuality.

Sex should never be about the orgasm, least of all when you masturbate! *s*

Relax. That's the key. Lay alone in bed when nobody's around. Don't even start thinking about sex yet. Think about things that make you smile. Think about your boyfriend. Think of the sweet and silly stuff he does. Think about times maybe when he's kissed you for hours and hours. Think about how you'd feel if he played with your breasts. Think about how hot Harrison Ford is. Oops, sorry, that was mine. heheh! Whatever makes you happy. There's no time limit. No rush to the finish line. There's no "failure" Just get to know yourself and learn what you like.

 

[perks]

lol. you can't will yourself to orgasm, especially if you don't know what you're willing yourself towards. But, it's a good try.

You need to discover your body and what your mind likes. You need to take it on a fantasy. Establish a comfort zone, a perimeter of lush erotica. Pamper yourself, Romance yourself, seduce your body with your mind, and then begin massaging yourself. Don't start with your breasts and pussy, just your arms, your legs, everything but. Think about something or someone you'd like to share the experience with explore your body and get to know it. Lubrication is a big key. Saliva works if you don't have anything else handy. Be gentle. Tease yourself.

You need to take your time. I think you need to know your body before you offer it to someone else.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

your subcontiousness was causeing you physical pain cause you were with the wrong guy and it wanted you to wait till you found the right guy

 

[eversobeautiful]

And your the right guy, love?

 

[eversobeautiful]

I read romance books and feel SO aroused but thats it.. I feel achy and needy but NOTHING...

 

[cybergirly]

I read romance books and feel SO aroused but thats it.. I feel achy and needy but NOTHING...

Give it time, don't think about it. It's the same principle as don't try to hard.

 

[eversobeautiful]

Give it time, don't think about it. It's the same principle as don't try to hard.

I'm afraid it will never happen and what happened to me when I was young plus the mailman will forever destroy me..

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

don't worry so much

live like the wolf, never think of the past nore the future.

Just live in the now.

 

[eversobeautiful]

HEY I said that about the past and future on the phone one night, remember?

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

shhhh. we are assisting you remeber



*leaves*

 

[eversobeautiful]

shhhh. we are assisting you remeber



*leaves*

*snuggles into your arms and sighs*

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Re: Re: Good girl!!

-- I think... GOD .. let me have an orgasm, please, lol...

You will honey, but don't rush it. With the right person willing and skilled enough bring you to orgasm. Don't obssess about it and eventually it will happen, maybe on your own, maybe with someone else, but it will come (no pun intended).

Would you feel more comfortable with a woman partner? I know no mention was made of you being bisexual, but a lot of women are, and are a lot more comfortable about it than men are. Anyway, that is one possible avenue you might try to get you past this, and everyone here will tell you that having sex with another woman doesn't mean you can't have sex with a man later.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

I agree wiht STG
sleep with another girl.... and let me watch

 

[eversobeautiful]

I agree wiht STG
sleep with another girl.... and let me watch

*mutters* Who, Dani?

 

[InnocentAngel81]

relax?