help!

[handlebars69]

help! need sex advice

ive been seeing this guy, and the relationship is moving along nicely, but theres something lacking in the bedroom (big surprise huh?) he is the most, giving lover ive ever been with, but i feel like im not doing enough for him. so, i figured id come to lit to get the best advice i could, what can i do to make him as satisfied as he makes me? we've already tried the normal positions but i want to do something to him that he will enjoy and will be surprised by.

 

[Kissophile]

ive been seeing this guy, and the relationship is moving along nicely, but theres something lacking in the bedroom (big surprise huh?) he is the most, giving lover ive ever been with, but i feel like im not doing enough for him. so, i figured id come to lit to get the best advice i could, what can i do to make him as satisfied as he makes me?

First off, why do you feel this way? What are you basing this on?

As for making changes, have you asked him what he likes, what he thinks he might like, what he has always dreamed of getting in the bedroom but has never had?

Everything starts with talk between the two partners. Do your talking outside the bedroom when sex is not going to be happening soon. This way you stand the best chance of having a balanced conversation without emotions or hormones clouding your thinking.

I would urge you to talk in terms of your own perceptions and your own feelings and not try to tell him what he is thinking or feeling. For example, it would be much better to say, "Bill (actually I suggest you use his real name here. Getting the name wrong at this stage is a definite no-no.), you give me such great times in bed I want to be sure that I give you as much. I wonder if there's anything I could be doing to make our lovemaking even better for you."

Then be quiet and let him talk.

 

[handlebars69]

i want to surprise him tho, and we've had talks before like that and all he said was he wants a school girl, but he lives with his parents and so do i, i dont think it would be appropriate to go over dressed as a schoolgirl... we also talked about bdsm but we're not really well, im not really comfortable enough to try it.

 

[handlebars69]

i feel this way because, since i was 10 and i started masturbating (yes i started early LOL) i was the only and i mean ONLY person to ever give myself an orgasm, well, after being sexually active for 3 years someone finally gave me one and im not saying i dont make him get off, i just want to repay him for showing me such a good time

 

[Kissophile]

I don't mean to pry but if you both live with your parents, how are you getting the opportunity to make it together?

If he says be a schoolgirl, why not try having one or two clothing items in your purse that might give him the idea? Maybe you could put some knee-length stockings on, put your hair in a pair of pony tails once you're together, I'm sure you get the idea. Perhaps you could even get some simple clear glasses to put on if you don't already wear glasses.

And then play the part like a great actress.

 

[handlebars69]

we've known each other for almost 4 years, we were friends first. we're both adults so our parents are okay with it i just dont know about the schoolgirl thing...

 

[Kissophile]

we've known each other for almost 4 years, we were friends first. we're both adults so our parents are okay with it i just dont know about the schoolgirl thing...

Presumably his parents don't go peeking into the bedroom once you're there. I'd just use a large handbag or some such thing and bring along the clothes you want for your role play.

If you want to see just how well this would play out for him, consider renting the movie Exotica. The female lead is a stripper whose main act is in a schoolgirl character. Watching that together followed by your changing yourself into a schoolgirl before his eyes (or while he's brushing his teeth) could make for one very hot night (or several).

 

[handlebars69]

i think ive seen that one, where the girl dies that she used to babysit and the father goes and watches her all the time?

 

[Kissophile]

i think ive seen that one, where the girl dies that she used to babysit and the father goes and watches her all the time?

Yes, that's it. It's a creepy movie but the stripper scenes are amazing. I thought of them when you mentioned the schoolgirl idea.

 

[Weird Harold]

i want to surprise him tho, and we've had talks before like that and all he said was he wants a school girl, but he lives with his parents and so do i, i dont think it would be appropriate to go over dressed as a schoolgirl... we also talked about bdsm but we're not really well, im not really comfortable enough to try it.

Roleplaying a school-girl isn't always about the clothes, but about the attitude.

Get yourself a lollipop and put your hair in pigtails and start talking about how you'll do anything for "Mr ..." to improve your grades or ask him to help with your "homework for Sex Ed."

The school-girl roleplaying could lead gently into bdsm with a light spanking or other extension of the school-girl-slave fantasy. If you do let the school-girl morph into the school-girl-slave or shchool-girl-sub fantasies, you can't surprise him with it cold -- establish a safeword and limits in general terms so he knows what aspects of bdsm you're willing to try. (bdsm isn't an all or nothing fetish, btw, there are wide variety of variations in intensity and practices. It encompasses everything from silk scarves and feathers to whips and chains.)