Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[scarredangel]

I am new to this forum, but not this site. I have read every story on here just about. But, now i need help. My fiancee and I have been together for four months (love at first sight) now, and we just started adding bsdm into our lifestyle although we have talked about it lots! He was in a few bondage porns (don't ask which ones they are impossible to find) so he has lived the lifestyle. I was his submissive first but he was't hard enough on me and something didn't feel right. So after a short discussion I found out he liked to be a sub as well. My question is as domm in training does any one have any advice or techniques or sites i can go to . I have been to latex dominatrix and sorry but it sucked! It was no help whatsoever. So yes please if anyne can give me any advice it would greatly be appreciated.

 

[MissTaken]

You could check out othersex.com.

Dianna Vesta is a professional Mistress and has an "ask the experts" forum.

 

[catalina_francisco]

My first advice to a starting Domme is to read and read and read. Read anything you can lay your hands on. About ideology, first aid, the facts of life and techniques.

Talk with as many people as possible, go to the forums and read through them, and take a course in first aid.

In any case here are some good links for you to follow.

http://www.castlerealm.com/'
http://cuffs.com/submission/dslink.html
http://www.queernet.org/deviant/

Try to find a mentor, a Domme or Dom who is willing to take you on as her/his pupil.

However the best advice I can give is the have fun. Talk a lot with your partner, loosen up, have him tell you how things feel and where his limits lie, and have patience. With time you will progress and you will know your partners body better and better.

F.

 

[SirTain]

I agree with catalina francisco on the Mentor, they can be invaluable. Other than that, just follow your instincts and remember to be safe.

 

[incubus_dark]

Catalina's advice is invaluable from top to bottom. In my opinion, you've also got to be doing it because you really want to and because it feels right for you. If you go about it just to please someone else, even though your hearts not in it, it probably wont feel right to you, it probably wont feel right to them, and it'll all end in tears. If you're sure enough at this early stage that it's what you want, then take Catalina's advice and go do some serious harm.

 

[Etoile]

I am new to this forum, but not this site. I have read every story on here just about. But, now i need help. My fiancee and I have been together for four months (love at first sight) now, and we just started adding bsdm into our lifestyle although we have talked about it lots! He was in a few bondage porns (don't ask which ones they are impossible to find) so he has lived the lifestyle. I was his submissive first but he was't hard enough on me and something didn't feel right. So after a short discussion I found out he liked to be a sub as well. My question is as domm in training does any one have any advice or techniques or sites i can go to . I have been to latex dominatrix and sorry but it sucked! It was no help whatsoever. So yes please if anyne can give me any advice it would greatly be appreciated.

Are you sure you want to be his Domme? It's possible that you both have submissive tendencies, but he has been willing to switch for you. Is topping him what you really want to do, or are you just accommodating what he wants? There's no reason you can't both switch now and then.

Also, being in "a few bondage porns" doesn't necessarily equate to "living the lifestyle." They can be two very, very different things - remember that porn stars are actors, just like Julia Roberts (now there's an image!). When the camera stops rolling, they go back to being themselves. Having appeared in porno flicks in the past doesn't mean he's interested in or ready to be a full-time "lifestyle" submissive.

I think it's important to consider how intensely you each want to get into this. There's furry handcuffs around the bedpost, and there's total sensory deprivation. No matter what you want to do, the above comments are right in that you should read up first. Safety is paramount!

Oh, and "don't ask which ones they are impossible to find" sounds like a challenge to me? Which ones?!