Help with workplace harassment

[testingdark]

I was involved with a co-worker early last year. It was a pretty messy breakup, and unfortunately, it affected our workplace. Human resources got involved, and the standing order was that the woman and I were no longer allowed to contact each other at all, in any way.

I left that job and moved on; I've been at a new job for the past 3 months. My ex never contacted me while I was still an employee at that office. However, this past week, she sent me a very nasty email and left an angry voicemail on my phone.

Should I bother reporting this to the human resources dept of my former office? While I was an employee there, they told me to contact them if she ever tried to contact me in any way. Obviously, she still works there.

Thanks.

 

[coastal-boy]

no longer their business...just change your number

 

[littlebitshe]

It makes u look like a tattle tail by going back to your former employer and telling on your ex. And like coastal-boy said, it's no longer concerns them.

I would block her email or mark it as Junk. Ignore her calls/voice mails and don't give her any attention what so ever. She will eventually get tired of trying to get under your skin that she will stop. Don't even tell your friends that she is doing it as it will get around to her that she is bothering you. Don't acknowledge it at all and she won't have a reason to continue doing it.

.... or you could change your number but that is a huge pain!

Good Luck Sweetie!

 

[testingdark]

It makes u look like a tattle tail by going back to your former employer and telling on your ex. And like coastal-boy said, it's no longer concerns them.

I would block her email or mark it as Junk. Ignore her calls/voice mails and don't give her any attention what so ever. She will eventually get tired of trying to get under your skin that she will stop. Don't even tell your friends that she is doing it as it will get around to her that she is bothering you. Don't acknowledge it at all and she won't have a reason to continue doing it.

.... or you could change your number but that is a huge pain!

Good Luck Sweetie!

Thanks! I also want to just block her and forget about it, but one of my friends keeps pushing that I should tell my old company about it. So, does that initial directive hold? We were told that if we contact each other, the one doing the contacting would be fired. Does that still hold true if I don't work there anymore? I don't want to get her fired, but I'm curious if it works that way...

 

[SweetErika]

You are no longer an employee, so it shouldn't be HR's concern UNLESS she takes this to the next level and files a sexual harassment suit against you or something. Then they will probably get involved in some way, even if it's only to produce documentation and/or testify in court. All they can do is punish her for violating company policies (if she contacted you from her work phone/email, etc.).

Why do you think she contacted you with such vehemence out of the blue like this? In this situation, I'd try to figure out her goal(s)/next moves while ignoring her, and stay away from all work associates in the future.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

You are no longer co-workers, so this is a personal rather than an employment related problem IMO.

Keep any answerphone messages and emails from her. Keep a diary of any contact and if she's persistent, give her one warning before contacting the police and reporting her. Hopefully a caution will convince her to stay away from you and if she has a history of harassing you at the previous company, that will count against her as well.

ONE message - whether by phone or email - saying that you have no interest in contacting her and want her to leave you alone would be justifiable and reasonable in this instance. Any further communication from you, whether positive or negative, will likely only encourage her.

Change your home/mobile numbers and if she contacts you at work, talk to your employer so that they're aware of the situation and can back you up if it escalates.

 

[SubNebGuy]

I'd tell your new company's HR dept what's up. The last thing you need is her incessant calling to get you fired.

 

[subwannabe]

Tough calls. I also wondered about what Erika brought up. What is her purpose of contacting you now? It would be helpful to know more about your original situation. Was there actually any sexual harrassment involved on your part or did they just want to keep you both apart due to the messy breakup? Do you think she is trying to get you fired from your new job? Part of me is tempted to say let your old company know, just for their sake. I doubt she would lose her job over it since you no longer work there and, in reality, since you don't work there anymore, her actions and yours are fairly irrelevant. I would however worry about her getting pissed and trying to make trouble for you at your new job if you did tattle. I would also shy away from informing your new job about her due to the fact that it might put doubts in their heads about you. For information sake it would be nice if you kept us up on the subject and how it all plays out. It's possible your best move is to ignore her.

 

[PertPerth]

My advice would be to NEVER make contact with her - no matter what she does (email, phone, turn up at your work/house). NEVER reciprocate and keep records (like the voice mail and email) as, should it come to court, you'll need evidence. I'd probably tell people about it, so you have back up to your story.

Other than that, I'd not bother to report it to your former work HR.

I hope you have heard the last of her.

 

[10000DAYS]

Revenge is a dish best served cold....


If the breakup was her fault, i.e. infidelity, lies etc., then I would report her. What can I say, I hold grudges.

If it was your fault, for any of the same reasons, let it go.



Or keep a record of the email and phone call and if she does it again, turn over the evidence!

 

[The Gimp]

If things get to the point where you fear for either your person or your property then go to the police and file a restraining order against her. On the other hand if all she does is send an occasional email or phone call then just make a record of it, delete it, and move on with your life.
I'm not a stalker so I can't say for sure, but I find it hard to believe that she would continue to be anything other than a minor annoyance if you completely ignore her. She wants attention, don't give it to her.

 

[EjAcKuLaToR]

I was involved with a co-worker early last year. It was a pretty messy breakup, and unfortunately, it affected our workplace. Human resources got involved, and the standing order was that the woman and I were no longer allowed to contact each other at all, in any way.

I left that job and moved on; I've been at a new job for the past 3 months. My ex never contacted me while I was still an employee at that office. However, this past week, she sent me a very nasty email and left an angry voicemail on my phone.

Should I bother reporting this to the human resources dept of my former office? While I was an employee there, they told me to contact them if she ever tried to contact me in any way. Obviously, she still works there.

Thanks.

First...don't fuck any more women at work. What the fuck is a matter with you? That just ain't smart.
Second, I agree with the other posters here who say: If the breakup was your fault, then just suck it up and get over it. In my opinion, if it was her fault, then you need to report it to the old HR department.
Third: DO NOT REPORT THIS TO YOUR CURRENT COMPANY!!!!!!!!! You want them knowing that you have no discretion at work and that your a dumbass? Come on!
Fourth: I'd consult an attorney. Just tell him or her what's going on and have them give you 5 minutes of advice. It'll cost you $100 and give the attorney a hard-on, but you were stupid for screwing someone at work and the advice will be worth it.

Cheerz
Jack

 

[emptynester]

My advice would be to NEVER make contact with her - no matter what she does (email, phone, turn up at your work/house). NEVER reciprocate and keep records (like the voice mail and email) as, should it come to court, you'll need evidence.

I agree completely with PertPerth. Never contact her in any way otherwise it coudl be turned around on you. If you make no attempt to contact her it will be obvious she is the one with the problem.

I'd probably tell people about it, so you have back up to your story.

I'm not so sure I would tell others at this point. Again, the least you say about it the better, IMO.