Help us make some Rules

[WestVaCouple]

After years of of fantasizing about it, my wife told me the other day that she was interested in having either a threesome or going out with another guy (some contact, but no sex) and coming home and telling me about it during our sex. SO I guess I would like some other people's take on the situation.

What we have talked about so far...

Threesome -
1. Meet the other guy on-line first and get to know him there.
2. Meet (in person) only after she feels comfortable, to determine interest.
3. If it leads to sex, (A) I start with my wife and let the other guy join in, or (B) I leave for about 15 min. and let them feel comfortable with each other, then come back and join in?
4. Husband and Wife always have final sex of the night together.

Date -
1. Husband identifies potential dates, by personal ad.
2. Husband meets the other guy on-line first and get to know him there.
3. Husband sets up blind date for wife to meet the other guy.
4. No sex on date unless with husband's permission.
5. If wife is interested, she may kiss, touch, be felt up (under/over clothing above waiste), ???
6. Husband and Wife always have final sex of the night together.

OK, any suggestions, comments, or helpful hints???

 

[Noor]

The date thing feels funny, I wouldn't do it. Threesome sounds better as you will both be there.

you might add a signal between you that means I want this to stop but I don't want to hurt the guys feelings.

I also wouldn't leave them alone for 15 mins.

I have been in threesomes but only with people who were close friends so I don't really know how it would feel with strangers picked up for that purpose.

 

[burrish]

To me and my opinion only, but it sounds like she is wanting to know if she can have an affair and not feel guilty about it. Even if you aprove the guy, what is going to stop her from meeting up with him later on behind your back.
I don't know, to me it just sounds fishy.

 

[WestVaCouple]

Thanks, good point the two of you. OK, that being out, or at least, being checked out more closely, what about the rules for the threesome?

 

[wildwesty]

Thanks, good point the two of you. OK, that being out, or at least, being checked out more closely, what about the rules for the threesome? [/QUOTE

Lay out exactly what is expected as far as sexual activites, IE what can and cannot be done before hand, just so you know what she is going to be receiving. I also agree, no alone time for anyone. Iron out what to do if it goes bad, such as you not liking the sight of her getting pleasured from another man, or if she is afraid or not into it. I would also make a rule that after it happens you either keep it as a pillow talk thing because it could come back to bite you in the ass. I would make it so you 2 are alone afterward and the other person goes home or something...wouldn't want to wake up to the 2 of them going at it alone in the shower or something. And I would say that if she gets another guy, you should have another girl. I can't think of anything else other than be sure to talk about everything before it happens so there aren't any bad suprises.

 

[JRaven]

You're doing okay

You are doing the two most important things already.
You're communicating between your wife and yourself about it.
You're laying down ground rules that you both can agree on.

Otherwise, how you actually go about it doesn't really matter.

Another senario to help confuse you:
Go dancing. Let her dance with other guys. If she likes the guy, she can grind her hips into his crotch. As he's holding her hand, she can move her hand so that his brushes her breast. Also, if she needs to, she can give you a signal with her other hand that you need to cut in. Of course, the both of you could also decide to invite the guy home.

Jenny

 

[short_circutz]

I would also suggest only having a threesome if you totally trust your other half.

I was in a couple of threesomes with one of my exes, as well as some single action.....both with another couple we were friends with. Any one on one action was always known by the others in the relationship. Both couples trusted their partners very much.. I wouldn't know what to suggest with a stranger. Mid you, I'm in a fairly small town of about 70,000...so it may be a little easier to deal with something like that here.

 

[curious2c]

Something that a couple that swinged...(swung?) told me once a long time ago. That is they made an agreement, never more than twice with the same person. AND No love bites. If either one felt they were falling for someone else, it was over immediately. Regardless.

I am not experienced personally, but they had loads of advice for me. I was single and it was a one time...anyway, it worked for them. You are on the right track by talking to each other about it before commiting though.

Good luck and have fun.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[WestVaCouple]

Thank you everyone... keep'em coming.

I guess my original post should have said, "Help us develop some Ground Rules." LOL, yes our list is very short, but with this it is growing every hour. Maybe we can put something together to act as an unofficial guide for others asking this same question.

And, it seems communication is right at the top of that list. like i said, we have talked about it in a fantasy context for some time now. It has only been recently that my wife has inquired about actually finding a third person. So we have a ways to go and some things to work through before we actually make it happen.

I do like the idea about going out dancing. That could be a fun (safe) activity that could help us explore certain issues, then talk about what we experienced.

Thanks again, keep the suggestions coming...

 

[SIC]

Lol this seems alittle weird to me and there could be problem after in the relationship? Also i would never leave my wife in a room with some random guy for 15mins(im not married). Also i dont think i could watch another guy fucking my wife i would just want to kill him the hole time and i might if he made one false move.

If you really want to do this i would say just have the 3some dont send her on and date or nothing. Just get the person to come over or w/e and do it.

Question if your wife gets another guy do you get another girl? If she said no then i would say no dice!!

 

[westpacouple]

reviving thread.

So, did your wife ever meet up with another man? I have to admit that I'm a little bit curious about what that might be like...seeing my wife be sexual with another man. I'm not saying that I want it, but I have fantasized about it...and it appeals to me in the fantasy.

 

[WestVaCouple]

Yes

Yes, as a matter of fact my wife did meet up with the other guy. It was fun, erotic, and not to mention a little bit exciting.

 

[Guest]

I just posted a how to on this subject.....

Its in my sig line "Menage a Trois, Monogamy, Polygamy"
(click the link down below)

 

[Francisromantic]

.....

 

[jessthegirl]

Yes, as a matter of fact my wife did meet up with the other guy. It was fun, erotic, and not to mention a little bit exciting.

what happened?