help: sex is painful for my girlfriend

[raw]

help: sex is painful for my girlfriend

I need help! Sex with my Asian girlfriend leaves her raw. I have tried everything I know, I usually give her oral sex first, use lubricated condoms and sometimes even KY gel. The problem starts at entry, just putting my dick in takes 10 to 30 seconds of gasping in pain, then she is ok (enjoys sex a lot, has orgasms etc) for a while. But if we have sex very long (more then 30min without stopping) or if we have sex more than once she becomes dry/sore and I have to stop. Sometimes after sex she is very happy but other times she is crying. I need to know how to make initially putting my dick in less painful. Could this be a problem with the condoms? How can I have prolonged sex without her becoming dry? How can I have repeated sex without her becoming sore? I should tell you that she says she has never had the problem before she was with me. I am American and have average size dick about 6.5 inches long. Also before she had sex only about once or twise a month, and now one to three times per day. If I left something out that you need to know to help me please let me know. If anyone out there has had the same type and problem and fixed it, I need to know how. Any help will be greatly appreciated. i need help now!! so please!!!!!

[Edited by raw on 01-06-2001 at 11:51 PM]

 

[SweetCherry]

Have you thought that maybe it's not the size of your dick that is making your girlfriend sore, but the amount of sex you are having? Maybe you should cut back a little bit for a while until she gets used to it and give her some time to get back to normal. I have been in situations before where there was more than the normal amount of sex and it left me raw, and I'm used to average or above sized dicks.

 

[raw]

Thats what I thought also SweetCherry, but the problem is still the same after not haveing sex for a few days. After her period when she hasnt had sex for 5 or 6 days its the same. So I dont know what i'm doing wrong.

 

[Weird Harold]

The problem starts at entry, just putting my dick in takes 10 to 30 seconds of gasping in pain, then she is ok (enjoys sex a lot, has orgasms etc) for a while. But if we have sex very long (more then 30min without stopping) or if we have sex more then once she becomes dry/sore and I have to stop. Sometimes after sex she is very happy but other times she is crying.

1: It could be the condoms. She may be allergic to latex. That isn't the most likely cause, though.

2: She may have some other medical problem, like a problem producing natural lubrication. Again, not the most likely cause.

3: From your description, the problem sounds psychological rather than physical. Since it has hurt, she expects it to hurt, and tenses up, thereby fulfilling her expectation that it will hurt again.

You need to get her to relax.

Be less demanding -- if it hurts her, I'm betting that sex "one to three times per day" isn't her idea.

Use more lube -- When you think you have used enough, double it. Make sure that there is plenty inside her, as well as on you and the entrance.

When you think you have enganged in sufficient foreplay, do it over again -- twice. Tease her and arouse her until she begs for penetration.

In short, make sex about her pleasure instead of yours. The more she enjoys sex, the more you will.

 

[Cheyenne]

Re: help: sex is painful for my girlfriend

Also before she had sex only about once or twise a month, and now one to three times per day.

BINGO! Finally, someone who gives enough information in their question to actually get a decent answer from the board.

I vote with the rest. A big part of your problem is likely to be the frequency. Weird Harold have you excellent advice- I'd say follow it. He's not really so weird.

 

[DEFENDER]

raw sex

i would say abstain altogether until she gets really wet.
try a log fire plenty of wine candles music and cuddling and stroking but no penetration, and for gods sake give the girl a break sounds like too much pressure to me!

 

[Unclebill]

It might be worthwhile for her to see a good gynocologist. There are certain physical conditions which make intercourse painful for a woman. In extreme cases, the pain can be sufficient that intercourse is impossible from a practical standpoint of enduring the pain. One term I remember hearing a few years back with regard to this situation or condition is vaginismus.

 

[Naked Hunny]

a friend of mine has a conditioncalled cervicitis. she becomes dry and sore after prolonged periods of intercourse

 

[Closet Desire]

One other thing to consider...

There is a medical condition with physiological and psychological foundation that causes a woman's muscles to spasm (clench down). This is very different from a lack of lubrication and can be extremely painful causing all sorts of vague pelvic pain.

My suggestion would be to see a specialist, particularly one who is also a woman. She should be able to quickly rule out obvious physical problems and then address whether this condition is the issue or not.

Good luck...be loving, supportive, understanding. Don't blame each other and don't leave it in the hope it will go away.

 

[Bonnie Wee Lassie]

I think Weird Harold gave great sdvice and I would also advise going to see a doctor.

 

[Gingersnap]

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH I am walking funny!!!!!

HELLO!!! Medications or infections can cause this problem. Another cause can be recreational drugs esp. "da herb". Your girlfriend can go to planned parenthood and they will help her. They tend to be a bit less expensive and most girls are more comfortable there then at the GYN doctor office.

[Edited by Gingersnap on 01-10-2001 at 04:02 PM]

 

[stingr24]

drdrew.com has a spotlight on sex being painful for women so you might want to check that out. You never know you might find some usefull info there.

 

[goddess_euphoria]

~again wonders why she can't get a guy that does repeat performances~ & what kind of cruel irony is it that the nyphos always end up with those who aren't?

(sorry, I don't have any advice to give, everyone else has covered it)

 

[Rorysweetdimples]

goddess_euphoria...we are in the same boat!!! I think I read that when men ejaculate, their bodies release a natural "sleeping aid". My hubby is out like a light right after sex, unless it's in the afternoon. Does age have any thing to do with that? I'm 31, he's 41.
(sorry, no advice here either, just girl talk...great advice given earlier, though.)

 

[goddess_euphoria]

I don't know much about that, I've only been with 4 guys, none of which were more than 4 years older than me, and the oldest out of them was 23. I think it does make a differance as to what time of day though, cause obviously after a full day, sex can put anyone to sleep.

I guess I shouldn't complain too much, two of them were repeat performers, unfortuantely, they couldn't hold much of a conversation. I guess ya can't have everything!

 

[CelestialBody]

Have you thought