Help! punctuating dialogue

[starrkers]

How do you denote a voice cut off?
Here's the scenario: Girl is asking "Why didn't you come back with me?" but only gets three words out before he invisibly grabs her crotch (using magic - nevermind, it's a fairy tale).

"Why didn't you" Her voice failed and her eyes went wide as...

How do I punctuate the italic area properly? Do I use ... or - when she stops? Do I need a question mark in there as it's half a question?

I'm not used to punctuation dialogue in the middle of action.

 

[cantdog]

Cool! Nobody's answered!

 

[cantdog]

Okay. I got a damn System.

 

[cantdog]

There's the one I use for the example you have.

that one is an em dash, or, on Lit, two hyphens back to back, because the Lit stories don't let you em dash.


this is for words CUT OFF.



"What is the meaning--"

His words were cut short by the scythe in the hands of Grimm Rieper.


And then, the ellipsis can be saved for when the speech is left hangign on the intent of the speaker, or because the speaker is suddenly distracted.



"Your mother is the most..."

"The most what?"

"God, Charlotte! Look! Look!"

 

[starrkers]

em dash! Of course!

Thank you Cant.

 

[cantdog]

For example.


"I'm leaving--"

"You don't get to leave!" she howled, "You're done, as of right now!"


and


"Well, if you look at it like that..."

He gathered his dignity and moved toward the door.

"I do!" she called to his back. "And don't bother to call."

 

[slyc_willie]

em dash! Of course!

Thank you Cant.

Yep. that's how I do it, too.

 

[cantdog]

Good man, Slyc.

Keep up the standards.

 

[glynndah]

There's the one I use for the example you have.

that one is an em dash, or, on Lit, two hyphens back to back, because the Lit stories don't let you em dash.


this is for words CUT OFF.



"What is the meaning--"

His words were cut short by the scythe in the hands of Grimm Rieper.


And then, the ellipsis can be saved for when the speech is left hangign on the intent of the speaker, or because the speaker is suddenly distracted.



"Your mother is the most..."

"The most what?"

"God, Charlotte! Look! Look!"

*takes notes* This could come in very handy. Thank you from a lurking good little witch.

 

[sr71plt]

Agree it should be an em dash. But also, contrary to an earlier posting, Lit. does hold real em dashes (at least it has in the stories I've submitted). You don't have to use double hyphens.

 

[cantdog]

Good, then. Em dash it is.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I used to use the ellipse, but I think I will start using the dashes (if I ever start writing again).

 

[Weird Harold]

I used to use the ellipse, but I think I will start using the dashes (if I ever start writing again).

I would still use the Ellipsis.

If you leave words out of a quotation, use an ellipsis mark to indicate the omitted words. If you need to insert something within a quotation, ...
wl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_quote.html

An incomplete or interrupted bit of dialogue is "words that are left out" so an ellipsis would be the proper punctuation.

 

[sr71plt]

The question concerned voice cut off, not words left out in the middle of a quotation (which requires the ellipses)--and, good news, there's support for either an em dash or the ellipses in the voice cut off (although most publishers will use the em dash here--just because CMA gives that preference by making the ellipses option an also ran).

"An em dash or a pair of em dashes may indicate a sudden break in thought or sentence structure or an interruption in dialogue. (Ellipsis points may also serve this purpose; see 11.45)" (Chicago Manual of Style 6.90).

 

[slyc_willie]

The question concerned voice cut off, not words left out in the middle of a quotation (which requires the ellipses)--and, good news, there's support for either an em dash or the ellipses in the voice cut off (although most publishers will use the em dash here--just because CMA gives that preference by making the ellipses option an also ran).

"An em dash or a pair of em dashes may indicate a sudden break in thought or sentence structure or an interruption in dialogue. (Ellipsis points may also serve this purpose; see 11.45)" (Chicago Manual of Style 6.90).

The way I've always thought of it, the em dash indicated an involuntary interruption of a statement.

"I didn't mean--"

"Yes you did!"

And ellipses indicated a loss of thought process or an inability to finish a statement.

"I didn't mean . . . ."

"Didn't mean what?"

As far as using ellipses, my understanding (according to an admittedly dated AP style guide) was that three ellipses denoted a pause before a continuation of a thought, while four meant a 'trailing off' effect.

"I didn't mean . . . I didn't mean to do that to you."

"So, when I said that, you thought . . . ."

 

[sr71plt]

The way I've always thought of it, the em dash indicated an involuntary interruption of a statement.

"I didn't mean--"

"Yes you did!"

And ellipses indicated a loss of thought process or an inability to finish a statement.

"I didn't mean . . . ."

"Didn't mean what?"

As far as using ellipses, my understanding (according to an admittedly dated AP style guide) was that three ellipses denoted a pause before a continuation of a thought, while four meant a 'trailing off' effect.

"I didn't mean . . . I didn't mean to do that to you."

"So, when I said that, you thought . . . ."

I'd advise consistently using one system or the other--not both. Certainly a publisher's editor would make them consistent.

The ellipses is only three points. The fourth point that is used is a period at the end of the sentence (coming before the ellipses). So, the four points are only used when in combination with a sentence-ending period and an ellipses. Nothing to do with a trailing off effect. (CMA 11.57)

Alas, the AP style guide is for newspaper copy, not fiction. (Even so, the 1996 AP style guide edition gives the same guidance as the CMA--page 270)

 

[slyc_willie]

I'd advise consistently using one system or the other--not both. Certainly a publisher's editor would make them consistent.

The ellipses is only three points. The fourth point that is used is a period at the end of the sentence (coming before the ellipses). So, the four points are only used when in combination with a sentence-ending period and an ellipses. Nothing to do with a trailing off effect. (CMA 11.57)

Alas, the AP style guide is for newspaper copy, not fiction.

Very true (regarding the AP style). But I've never had any work I've submitted for publication in which my use of ellipses in this way was edited or questioned. I've used that style for years.

 

[sr71plt]

Very true (regarding the AP style). But I've never had any work I've submitted for publication in which my use of ellipses in this way was edited or questioned. I've used that style for years.

Note that I've added to my posting. The 1996 AP guide says the same thing as I cited from the CMA.

Can't argue what you've managed to get through the editors--can only cite the best-usage guidance they had available to them from the recognized authorities. If someone asks a style question on the board, isn't the best, most assured answer the one that the recognized style guide for the type of writing they're doing provides? If it's all the same, why bother to ask?

 

[slyc_willie]

Note that I've added to my posting. The 1996 AP guide says the same thing as I cited from the CMA.

Can't argue what you've managed to get through the editors--can only cite the best-usage guidance they had available to them from the recognized authorities. If someone asks a style question on the board, isn't the best, most assured answer the one that the recognized style guide for the type of writing they're doing provides? If it's all the same, why bother to ask?

Never any harm in asking, and I never claimed to have all the answers. I've only known what works for me.

My AP guide is older than 1996. 1990, I think. Not inconceivable to think that standards have changed.

Still, it's become habit to use ellipses the way I have. If and when it becomes an issue, I'll probably change. The last time I was published was in 1996, and it was just a small piece in a sci-fi periodical.

 

[Weird Harold]

The question concerned voice cut off, not words left out in the middle of a quotation (which requires the ellipses)--

My admittedly dated education explained that an incomplete thought was incomplete because the words to finish it had been "omitted" by being unsaid.

http://www.yourdictionary.com/grammar-rules/Fourteen-Punctuation-Marks.html
The ellipses is generally represented by three periods (. . . ) although it is occasionally demonstrated with three asterisks (***). The ellipses should be used in “writing or printing to indicate an omission, especially of letters or words.” Ellipses are frequently used within quotations to jump from one phrase to another, omitting unnecessary words that do not interfere with the meaning. Students writing research papers or newspapers quoting parts of speeches will often employ ellipses to avoid copying lengthy text that is not needed.

 

[sr71plt]

The way I've always thought of it, the em dash indicated an involuntary interruption of a statement.

"I didn't mean--"

"Yes you did!"

And ellipses indicated a loss of thought process or an inability to finish a statement.

"I didn't mean . . . ."

"Didn't mean what?"

As far as using ellipses, my understanding (according to an admittedly dated AP style guide) was that three ellipses denoted a pause before a continuation of a thought, while four meant a 'trailing off' effect.

"I didn't mean . . . I didn't mean to do that to you."

"So, when I said that, you thought . . . ."

Ha. I came across an example of the four dots at the end of a sentence today in an edit that I left that way. It wasn't dialogue, though. It was "trailing off" of a narrative paragraph. It just looked better that way (although I can't find any documentation for doing that yet) than any of the other ways it could have been done. The effect was probably influenced by attempting to show the trailing off you mentioned in your posting. If it had been done in dialogue, I would have handled it differently, though.