Help, please, with female thoughts when losing the marriage cherry

[oldhornywriter]

I'd like to write a mirror story -- from the wife's perspective -- for my earlier submission, "Why Don't You Just Fuck Me." For me, the psychological part of the story is more interesting than the purely physical aspects and what I'd like to get right is, exactly what (if anything) is going through her mind as the action progresses to the point where, for the first time in her marriage, she feels a stranger's dick starting to push into her.

Being a guy, I'm categorically unqualified to write inside the female head from my own experience. So, you ladies who have been there, done that, and were sober enough to have been thinking thoughts that you can recall, would you please help me out here?

I realize that different ladies will have had different thoughts based on their own background experiences, their primary relationship, the nature of their relationship to "other guy" that they find themselves about to open up to, substance consumption at the time, etc. For my mirror story, I'll have to go with the one that seems most right for the character that I am writing. But it occurs to me that multiple responses could be the grist for multiple stories along this line -- maybe an extended "Marriage Cherries Jubilee" sequence. I'd be more than happy to give or withhold credit for story ideas as you choose.

 

[CWatson]

Being a guy, I'm categorically unqualified to write inside the female head from my own experience.

This is both true and not true.

Yes, from a physical standpoint we men are quite unsuited to writing about women having sex. We don't know what it feels like and, perhaps more importantly, can't know what it feels like, not really. (At least, until they perfect some sort of absolutely seamless sex-reassignment surgery. But even then there will be artifacts in personality due to the previous lifetime of being socialized in the other gender, not to mention... Anyway, let's move on.) So this side of things is difficult. The best one can do is read stories on the site written by women and learn as best one can. Fortunately, there are a number of talented writers of the feminine persuasion here: brightlyiburn, PrincessErin, Elianna, sunny55235, and those are just the ones off the top of my head. From them you can glean some of the physical details a man wouldn't have as much experience with.

From an emotional standpoint, you are quite qualified to write this story. What feelings were going through your mind the first time you had sex? Eagerness, I'm guessing, and maybe triumph, plus some performance anxiety and (if you were old enough at the time) a vague disquiet over how you were about to enter a strange new world. A woman would feel the same. In different proportions, sure; women are trained to be more conscious of what others think of them, they are more likely to be stigmatized for fornication (though at least your married protagonist hasn't that to worry about), the threat of pregnancy looms over their sex lives more than it does men's, and the threat of rape looms over almost everything they do. So probably more worry, then, and less eagerness. But my point is this: we started with your feelings, and then simply adjusted them according to what we know to be true of women.

Don't sell yourself short. Start with what you know and branch out to what you don't. You can do it.