Help new to this kind of thing

[mrboom]

Hello,

I'm new to BDSM, I realy like the idea of being dominating but don't rule out being submissive. Where do I start? Any help or pointers would be appreciated

 

[Sir_Winston54]

You could start in the BDSM Library, then read a few dozen/hundred threads here in the Talk forum, along with some in the Café. Somewhere in that process, you could post a few questions and/or get into some conversations with people who have been here a while.

Outside here, you might look into Jay Wiseman's SM 101, or Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns, or other books recommended in a couple of dozen threads here. And in real life, look for munches or other group meetings in your area. (CutieMouse will no doubt be wandering by shortly to provide a list of links for the last; I don't have it handy, and she keeps it ready to post.)

Good luck!

 

[mrboom]

Thank you Sir Winston,

It is hard to get started when you don't have a clue. I will check out the info you have kindly provided for me.

 

[myinnerslut]

just hanging around lit will help you learn a ton. its a good place to ask questions and learn about resources, both in general and local to you.

 

[TypicalDeviant]

I'm thinking of exploring my BDSM side as well.

What's that website with the BSDM survey for those new to the... lifestyle(?)?

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I'm thinking of exploring my BDSM side as well.

What's that website with the BSDM survey for those new to the... lifestyle(?)?

Let me refer you to this post, which provides a number of links to checklists, courtesy of The Mouse.

"Lifestyle" is what many who embrace BDSM call it, but I prefer "culture," because of the implied choice in "lifestyle." "Culture," on the other hand, implies a certain degree of either hardwired-ness or having lived and learned it as the way life is, e.g., Hispanic culture, etc. YMMV. Many people disagree with me. Not my fault they don't understand my brilliance.

 

[TypicalDeviant]

Let me refer you to this post, which provides a number of links to checklists, courtesy of The Mouse.

"Lifestyle" is what many who embrace BDSM call it, but I prefer "culture," because of the implied choice in "lifestyle." "Culture," on the other hand, implies a certain degree of either hardwired-ness or having lived and learned it as the way life is, e.g., Hispanic culture, etc. YMMV. Many people disagree with me. Not my fault they don't understand my brilliance.

Thanks, that's a good start (though some of the links are busted). However, I'm thinking of a site I had visited several years ago that had multi-page surveys on where you stood on certain issues and there were emoticons associated with each answer. Basically, you made a profile, answered the survey, and it kept your responses for comparison and reference.

I'm having a devil of a time finding it.

 

[kara_disir]

Thanks, that's a good start (though some of the links are busted). However, I'm thinking of a site I had visited several years ago that had multi-page surveys on where you stood on certain issues and there were emoticons associated with each answer. Basically, you made a profile, answered the survey, and it kept your responses for comparison and reference.

I'm having a devil of a time finding it.

Perhaps this is what you're looking for?

http://www.soulshaven.f2s.com/introduction.php3

(when you get there, click "New BDSM Checklist" on the left of the screen)

hope that helps

 

[kara_disir]

"Lifestyle" is what many who embrace BDSM call it, but I prefer "culture," because of the implied choice in "lifestyle." "Culture," on the other hand, implies a certain degree of either hardwired-ness or having lived and learned it as the way life is, e.g., Hispanic culture, etc. YMMV. Many people disagree with me. Not my fault they don't understand my brilliance.

What a spectacular explanation! May I quote you on that?

 

[TypicalDeviant]

Perhaps this is what you're looking for?

http://www.soulshaven.f2s.com/introduction.php3

(when you get there, click "New BDSM Checklist" on the left of the screen)

hope that helps

That's it, thanks!

 

[kara_disir]

Glad I could be of assistance!

I've found soulshaven to be an excellent jumping-off point. Although the emoticons tend to make the pages a bit fussy and overly childlike for my taste, the checklist itself is great. Comprehensive, without being overwhelming.