Help needed on a divorce story...

[Joesephus]

I'm thinking about writing an alternative ending to a story that's getting a huge number of comments in LW "Something We Have To Talk About" and a partial sequel by a different writer. I will be writing with the author's permission.

What I'd like to know, from someone with experience in divorce in Denver, is how an average settlement would go.

In the story the wife has cheated for an extended time. Sexually for over a year and emotionally for much longer... perhaps as long as 5 years. She took over doing the house work for her lawyer lover before they began having sex.

There are three school aged children the youngest is either 7 or 11 the oldest 11 or 14 (the author didn't give the ages in her story, and the older ages might work better for mine.)

The clueless husband has been working all the overtime he can to buy a nice house in a good neighborhood (2 years ago, so no real equity.) They don't have much cash but he does have a 401K.

Her lawyer lover told her she could expect child support, alimony and most of their assets. His lawyer told him pretty much the same thing. His high income from his overtime would work against him because alimony and support would be higher. Further he could expect very limited visitation rights. The best he could hope for would be joint custody but with the kids living with her.

I know there are horror cases, but what would a reasonable person expect to get. What would be the dream settlement be if he got the perfect judge and the perfect lawyer?

 

[RonClarkeson]

ADivorce Category would be shunned!

I'm thinking about writing an alternative ending to a story that's getting a huge number of comments in LW "Something We Have To Talk About" and a partial sequel by a different writer. I will be writing with the author's permission.

What I'd like to know, from someone with experience in divorce in Denver, is how an average settlement would go.

In the story the wife has cheated for an extended time. Sexually for over a year and emotionally for much longer... perhaps as long as 5 years. She took over doing the house work for her lawyer lover before they began having sex.

There are three school aged children the youngest is either 7 or 11 the oldest 11 or 14 (the author didn't give the ages in her story, and the older ages might work better for mine.)

The clueless husband has been working all the overtime he can to buy a nice house in a good neighborhood (2 years ago, so no real equity.) They don't have much cash but he does have a 401K.

Her lawyer lover told her she could expect child support, alimony and most of their assets. His lawyer told him pretty much the same thing. His high income from his overtime would work against him because alimony and support would be higher. Further he could expect very limited visitation rights. The best he could hope for would be joint custody but with the kids living with her.

I know there are horror cases, but what would a reasonable person expect to get. What would be the dream settlement be if he got the perfect judge and the perfect lawyer?

I would not go there if I was you!

 

[Joesephus]

I do understand the problems in LW

Still, for some twisted reason... no doubt having to do with my mother, I love the genre. What I don't want to do is have the courts do something that was unlikely. I wouldn't use the dream settlement for their case. However, since the wife painted the very worst possible case to him as the probable, I'd like for him to be able to quote a dream case back. The actual settlement would be as close to the norm as I can make it.

The story won't be about the divorce, but about the couple and what effect the divorce has on their personalities.

 

[rachlou]

I don't live in Denver - I live in the UK - but in a divorce case where the couple have been married for a while, ie, more than 5 years, the wife stayed at at home to care for the kids, the split of assets would strongly be in favour of the wife assuming she still has custody of the kids.

It would normally be 70:30 in her favour. I suppose he could argue she was an unfit mother and apply for custody, therefore not allowing her any of the assets. But that would be pretty mean and most courts would only allow him to keep the kids f/t if it could be proved that they were likely to be harmed should they live with her.

yes. unfair as it seems, divorce settlements are strongly in favour of the wife, regardless of the reasons for the divorce. All he could do would be to give up work and therefore not have to pay child support/alimony. Or he could threaten to go abroad to escape the payments. That works well - trust me, I know this - my ex did it.

Al this may be very different in the states however - so feel free to ignore me!!

 

[RonClarkeson]

Jeasus Man are you really that much of a machoistic!

I don't live in Denver - I live in the UK - but in a divorce case where the couple have been married for a while, ie, more than 5 years, the wife stayed at at home to care for the kids, the split of assets would strongly be in favour of the wife assuming she still has custody of the kids.

It would normally be 70:30 in her favour. I suppose he could argue she was an unfit mother and apply for custody, therefore not allowing her any of the assets. But that would be pretty mean and most courts would only allow him to keep the kids f/t if it could be proved that they were likely to be harmed should they live with her.

yes. unfair as it seems, divorce settlements are strongly in favour of the wife, regardless of the reasons for the divorce. All he could do would be to give up work and therefore not have to pay child support/alimony. Or he could threaten to go abroad to escape the payments. That works well - trust me, I know this - my ex did it.

Al this may be very different in the states however - so feel free to ignore me!!

Do Not go there! Pm me for reasons!

 

[Joesephus]

Thanks!

I didn't know that men were so unfairly treated in the UK. I suppose the pendelum swings too far one way and then the other. I only hope that soon we can start looking at cases instead of gender in more areas.

I didn't get any free legal advice (either lawyers don't read erotica, or they are unable to give unbillable advice )

To get around the problem and not introduce new errors, I'm going to use a legal arbiter (English spelling is demented!) That way I can have the advice and settlement that moves the story where I want it to go.

 

[S-Des]

I didn't know that men were so unfairly treated in the UK. I suppose the pendelum swings too far one way and then the other. I only hope that soon we can start looking at cases instead of gender in more areas.

I didn't get any free legal advice (either lawyers don't read erotica, or they are unable to give unbillable advice )

To get around the problem and not introduce new errors, I'm going to use a legal arbiter (English spelling is demented!) That way I can have the advice and settlement that moves the story where I want it to go.

Do you mean a mediator? Your orignial estimate was pretty close. Standard visitation is every other weekend and one day during the week (until 6-8PM). It's also 3-6 weeks of vacation time in the summer (or possibly a couple of weeks during the holiday season).

The money varies greatly from state to state. You could have him afraid of being fleeced, so he agrees to whatever her lawyer proposes. In rare cases, the judge will figure in cause, but usually it's assumed that both parties contributed to the divorce (maybe taking the position that he was working so hard he was abondoning her, which is why she cheated). They rarely see it the way the divorcing couple or their friends/family see it.

There are also judges who are very biased (one way or the other). A friend of my sister's lost her kids to her husband (who cheated) and had to pay him alimony & child support (from her mobile home). It made her friends wonder if the judge had been paid off, because it seemed so unfair, but who knows?

 

[Joesephus]

Great to hear from you!

Do you mean a mediator? Your orignial estimate was pretty close. Standard visitation is every other weekend and one day during the week (until 6-8PM). It's also 3-6 weeks of vacation time in the summer (or possibly a couple of weeks during the holiday season).

The money varies greatly from state to state. You could have him afraid of being fleeced, so he agrees to whatever her lawyer proposes. In rare cases, the judge will figure in cause, but usually it's assumed that both parties contributed to the divorce (maybe taking the position that he was working so hard he was abondoning her, which is why she cheated). They rarely see it the way the divorcing couple or their friends/family see it.

There are also judges who are very biased (one way or the other). A friend of my sister's lost her kids to her husband (who cheated) and had to pay him alimony & child support (from her mobile home). It made her friends wonder if the judge had been paid off, because it seemed so unfair, but who knows?

I just had the most amazing conversation with a board certified family law attorney in Texas. This guy was a very big gun in high profile divorces in the Austin, Tx region. We're talking about divorces where the settlements were in the mid to high eight figure range. (Dell created some very big money in Austin.)

He moved to what he calls "Collaborative Law" which I'm going to use in the story. What he also told me is that despite common perception most judges do take things like adultrey into account. However, adultery doesn't happen in a vacumn. There is very seldom a case where one party is innocent and the other party is a villian. When folks talk about the cases they tend to overlook the flaws in there own case that might have contributed to the decree.

He then went on to tell me that in a county close to Austin there are several judges who "rumor" says will allway give full custody to parent who has a cheating spouse. Although the judge has publically said that wasn't the case, the record indicates...

Anyway, this guy is a friend of a friend and he gave me about an hour of his time (which I'd bet woudl have cost $500 if I'd been sitting in his chair.) He told me to call him back if I had any more questions. It was clear that he wants to promote the alternative to going to court. He told me that he almost gave up his practice a few years ago because he couldn't stand the constant truama of family law in the courtroom.

I'm not sure how the whole process will be received in LW but I'm going to use it.