Help need snappy come back.

[svenmn]

The other night I was out for dinner and drinks with some friends and this guy punched this lady down the bar from us. Well not to let him get off I stepped in told him shouldn’t do and rang his bell, his sister called me the world’s biggest asshole! I came back with yea I have been hearing that lately.

Friends said needed to say something else like have a nice day.
But now that I think of it needed something better.

What do you say?

Sven

 

[red_rose]

Hey, George. The ocean called. They said they're running out of shrimp.

 

[RawHumor]

You're the world's biggest asshole?

"Hmmmm... Yeah, I was thinking of running for office somewhere."

"That must be why my hemmorhoids look like baseballs!"

"I wonder if Guiness has THAT in their record book!"

Just a few to get you started. I'll ponder it and get back to you.

 

[StrawberryPez]

I woulda said "You wanna fuck me don't you?"

 

[RawHumor]

I woulda said "You wanna fuck me don't you?"

Of course I do. Oh wait... sorry.

 

[svenmn]

Re: You're the world's biggest asshole?

"Hmmmm... Yeah, I was thinking of running for office somewhere."

"That must be why my hemmorhoids look like baseballs!"

"I wonder if Guiness has THAT in their record book!"

Just a few to get you started. I'll ponder it and get back to you.

okay raw you can do better

sven

 

[StrawberryPez]

Of course I do. Oh wait... sorry.

I PMed you my number

You know, so we can.........talk.

 

[svenmn]

I woulda said "You wanna fuck me don't you?"

shit missed chance to get laid never thought of that.

sven

 

[RawHumor]

Re: Re: You're the world's biggest asshole?

okay raw you can do better

sven

Were you wanting clever, vicious, or both?

 

[scylis]

go with this:

you're the world's biggest asshole!!

"yup. *punch the guy again if he's still up, kick him if he's down* that's me."

 

[svenmn]

Re: Re: Re: You're the world's biggest asshole?

Were you wanting clever, vicious, or both?

vicious
I'm a tipical redneck
6'2" 232lbs
little neck
all balls

 

[RawHumor]

Re: Re: Re: Re: You're the world's biggest asshole?

vicious
I'm a typical redneck
6'2" 232lbs
little neck
all balls

Ahhhh... that's not really my style. Try PC or Weevil. They both lack a heart, so it's easier for them to be insulting.

Most of my comebacks are intended to try to make the person laugh with me or at themselves, or else to make them laugh without realizing they're being insulted.

 

[svenmn]

Re: go with this:

you're the world's biggest asshole!!

"yup. *punch the guy again if he's still up, kick him if he's down* that's me."

he was down

can't kickim when down no sense in wasting energy.

sven

 

[StrawberryPez]

shit missed chance to get laid never thought of that.

sven

D'oh! See you shoulda took me. I always have a snappy come back!

 

[RawHumor]

The other night I was out for dinner and drinks with some friends and this guy punched this lady down the bar from us.

Of course, in THIS situation, my come-back would have been something more like:

"I'm an asshole? Where I'm from, the only men who hit women are cons and limp-dicks. Your brother doesn't look tough enough to survive in jail, so I'll make my own assumptions."

 

[svenmn]

Re: Re: Help need snappy come back.

Of course, in THIS situation, my come-back would have been something more like:

"I'm an asshole? Where I'm from, the only men who hit women are cons and limp-dicks. Your brother doesn't look tough enough to survive in jail, so I'll make my own assumptions."

All right raw need to remember that.

sven

 

[nasty1]

Hey, George. The ocean called. They said they're running out of shrimp.

Yeah, well the Jerk store called. They said they're running out of you. Um...sorry to sven. Were no help.

 

[scylis]

Re: Re: go with this:

he was down

can't kickim when down no sense in wasting energy.

sven

yes, but it's vicious.


oh, all right, how about this:

"you know, i'm actually getting that tattood across my forehead tomorrow! what a coinsidence!"

 

[red_rose]

Yeah, well the Jerk store called. They said they're running out of you. Um...sorry to sven. Were no help.

Yay! Somebody got it!

 

[RhumbRunner13]

Responce....

"Yep, you're right. (looking her over) Aren't you the piece of shit I crapped this morning?

Rhumb

 

[ShamelessFlirt]

The other night I was out for dinner and drinks with some friends and this guy punched this lady down the bar from us. Well not to let him get off I stepped in told him shouldn’t do and rang his bell, his sister called me the world’s biggest asshole! I came back with yea I have been hearing that lately.

Friends said needed to say something else like have a nice day.
But now that I think of it needed something better.

What do you say?

Sven

The classic response:

If it weren't for assholes like me, there wouldn't be shitheads like you