help me

[EyeCandy05]

i have a bf and i love him and everything, but how do i tell him that he needs to get me more in the mood before we just dive right in? i dont want him to be like well am i not good enough for you...so any advice? anyone?

 

[Guest]

simple ask him what gets him in the mood.If he is smart than he should respect your honesty. Granted i doubt that it takes a lot to get him going. Think about what gets you turned on.

I gave my girl a massage in the nude(she was too) it was fun. Or we will just kiss for like 15 minutes and play, till i get her hot enough.

 

[SexyChele]

i have a bf and i love him and everything, but how do i tell him that he needs to get me more in the mood before we just dive right in? i dont want him to be like well am i not good enough for you...so any advice? anyone?

Um, just like you said it here?

You don't say how quickly "dive right in" is, but I'm assuming there is little to no foreplay. There are several ways you can go about changing this situaton, depending on his mindset. Granted, for some reason speaking one's mind is the most difficult way. It seems we have no problem fucking our partners, but have a tremendous amount of difficulty speaking to them. So, in light of that...

1. Make a game of it. Tell him before you begin that he has to sit on his hands until you tell him he no longer has to. (If he is open to it, you might suggest lightly, but firmly, tying his wrists together) Once he is in position, tease the hell out of him. Kisses, strokes, licks. Let him know his entire body is an errogenous zone. Run your tongue along his ear lobe. Trail your fingers down his spine. I think you get the picture. Let him know what it feels like to build up, to feel that aching need to release. And when he tells you he's ready to explode, tell him he must do the same to you or he loses the game.

2. Challenge him to a massage contest. Buy some scented oils or lotions, and make some sort of silly bet - whoever gives the best massage gets whatever they want. It doesn't matter the prize is or even who is better, it's just the challenge of having him understand that he needs to take his time.

3. Tell him you are thinking of one particular spot on your body that you would like to have kissed/licked/stroked, and he needs to find it before you can have sex. Trick is, think of something out of the ordinary: bottom of your feet, the skin between your thumb and forefinger, the bridge of your nose, the back of your knee. As he conducts his "search" reward him verbally and by kissing/licking/stroking him in return.

4. When he tries to "dive in" move away teasingly, and let him know, "Not yet, you're not finished." Do it with a smile. Let him think he needs to chase you. If he moves to pull down your panties, move away or push away his hands. Let him know his treat still needs additional warming before it's just right.

5. The most difficult: sit down (during a non-sex period!) and let him know that women need more time to "warm up" than a man does, normally. Simply let him know that you love him and think he is a terrific lover, but he's not being the best you know he can be. Tell him exactly where you like to be kissed and stroked to make you ready for sex. Encourage him when he follows through.

The "diving in" thing is something that most younger men do. Most learn to overcome that in time, but unless he is taught or told he will continue to blunder through, thinking you are just as ready for sex as he is. Not to worry, though. Typically as men age, they learn that the long, slow build up often produces an end result that is exquisite in the form of a woman totally aroused!

Good luck!

 

[Lust Engine]

Dagnabbit... Chele's advice is always so ON, it's unreal & darn near impossible to challenge her! Listen to Chele! She's got some great advice here.

 

[Guest]

i dunno about that engine. I mean #5 yeah i totally agree with, but the other come with time and being able to relax with your parter. i think she should talk it out first. Cuz if my girl said sit on your hands. I would have to spank her.
What chele says may be a little do dom for him. that may turn him off. Cuz if he is not sexually open(which you should find out first) than this stuff will never happen. I'm a guy i know. Cuz i wouldn't, i would want to talk about it first. that way you don'tfeel like a shmuck.

 

[sheath]

Re: Re: help me

3. Tell him you are thinking of one particular spot on your body that you would like to have kissed/licked/stroked, and he needs to find it before you can have sex. Trick is, think of something out of the ordinary: bottom of your feet, the skin between your thumb and forefinger, the bridge of your nose, the back of your knee. As he conducts his "search" reward him verbally and by kissing/licking/stroking him in return.

Good luck!

Ahem, well...I don't have the problem of 'diving in' with my man, but I'm still going to use this idea tonight! Out of all those ideas, this one sounds like so much fun!

You give great advice, Chele.

S.

 

[SpookyStar]

I've had this problem in the past.
In the heat of the moment just whisper a suductive "slowly"
He'll be too turned on 2 take it the wrong way.
Works for me!

 

[SexyChele]

Dagnabbit... Chele's advice is always so ON, it's unreal & darn near impossible to challenge her! Listen to Chele! She's got some great advice here.

Aw...you're just a big sweetie! Thank you!

Ahem, well...I don't have the problem of 'diving in' with my man, but I'm still going to use this idea tonight! Out of all those ideas, this one sounds like so much fun!

You give great advice, Chele.

S.

Thank you! And will you be giving us a report of how well things go?

 

[tigerjen]

i have a bf and i love him and everything, but how do i
tell him that he needs to get me more in the mood before
we just dive right in? i dont want him to be like well am
i not good enough for you...so any advice? anyone?

Tell him you want more foreplay.........speaking up and
saying exactly what you want/desire is the way to go.

I was with someone back in November.........and we
had a lot of foreplay.......next thing we know 4 hours
had passed........time flies when you're having a relaxing
good time

Good luck!


tigerjen

 

[Wolf_Song]

i have a bf and i love him and everything, but how do i tell him that he needs to get me more in the mood before we just dive right in? i dont want him to be like well am i not good enough for you...so any advice? anyone?

I agree with the great advice that every one has given and would like to point out that confidence is shaken in you and your partner individually and in relationship. As his erectile difficulties could be due to stress of many things. Including possibly he is feeling pressure from things out side the relationship. Things within the relationship or even sexually unsure of himself. Plus things he is reading in your silence, but doesnt understand and vice versa.

Communicating is basically what every one suggested in start and many ideas are the same. Plus several mentioned things that are great for establishing confidence. Part of why a lot of issues that people have in making love and other areas is definitely communication. Not just in talking, but also in many more aspects.

Perhaps communicating to him that you would like to take the lead in doing something special. Which could start with slowly cuddling, kissing and undressing each other with affectionate caressings. Then massage him first with gentle communications of asking and looking for what he likes best in this. A nice way to massage that is simple is going starting from head to feet with front down. Then have him roll over and start from feet and work upwards. Easy to remember and very natural with many things to explore and experiment in doing so. With being able to share pleasuring in many ways unto him if either wish.

And then comes your turn. Where you lay upon front and he massages you slowly from top to bottom. With already having some practice of communicating when massaging him. May also help to tell him what you like or he may return fully in kind as you did for him.

Then when comes time for him to massage you from front. The starting from feet up is relatively straight forward to. With having several options for oral pleasure from him and if he isnt experienced enough in this there is another way to start him in this. As he can continue massaging up your body with your guidance and reassurances.

As he massages all the way up he eventually ends up at your face where can move in to cuddling and kissing. With you still on your back and him lying alongside you. From there can guide his hand down your body where you wish it which will end up at the same angle you would be at in self pleasuring. And he still has mouth and a free hand available for pleasuring you above. And you can return in kind with a free hand to him and one to add to pleasuring either of you.

This is nice position to be in for both. As he can learn to and be able to pleasure you in multiple areas at once with guidance and reassurance. Plus for him once he gets in to it is very rewarding being able to realize and get a wonderful vantage point in seeing your reactions. Being very sensual for both once experienced and beautifully diverse in all the possibilites in it. In him being gentle or aggressive in this position.. either way you get multiple pleasuring.

And is something he can do whether you are fully clothed are not in instance of not enough time to massage or start slower. The possibilities are as the pleasure.. sensually multiple.


Wishing you, bf and all.. the best in wonderful pleasurings

 

[Lust Engine]

I think the ultimate thing here is being able to communicate with him freely. You both have to get to that comfort zone with one another where you can discuss frankly & openly about each of your desires. Once you reach that point, I think things will work out better.

Good luck!

 

[Etoile]

Originally posted by EyeCandy05
i dont want him to be like well am i not good enough for you

We haven't had any feedback from EyeCandy05 since the original post, but I think this line is especially important. EyeCandy, do you mind if I ask how old you and your boyfriend are? If you're both still young (I admit I'm assuming, because of the 05, that you're still in high school - correct me if I'm wrong), then you should worry more about whether or not you're satisfied with the relationship. If you mentioned that you wanted more foreplay and he reacted like that, I'd dump him. If you're older and you're just insecure or afraid of him, then make sure you let him know you're not questioning his manhood or anything like that. Most guys, no matter what their age, have to learn at some point that they are not the center of the universe and that girls take more time to warm up than guys do!

 

[Guest]

Most guys, no matter what their age, have to learn at some point that they are not the center of the universe and that girls take more time to warm up than guys do!

And with that u must remember that it goes both ways. I wouldn't give the time of day if you thought you where the center of everything. So it swings both ways with that statement. Remember that when talking to him. Because is you come up to him with that impression then you will not get very far. So etoie you got it partly right.

 

[big_daug6932]

Communication is the key.
You must tell him how you feel.
Show him what you want.
If he does not listen or put out any effort to listen, then kick him to the curb.