Help me with something non-author related

[Chicklet]

Hey guys

I changed my profile on Lit so that people might stop sending me stupid stuff. Does it come across as really bitchy? be brutal.

Chicklet

BLARP - A LINKEE DOO FOR YOUDELEE YOU

 

[Guest]

Chicklet: seriously, it's not bitchy. Perhaps a bit too glib, which might make people not take you as seriously as you'd like re. emails. Could use editing mainly for the glibness and length.

Very nice photo, very lovely face, esp. eyes.

best, Perdita

 

[openthighs_sarah]

Bitchiness factor was very low. You're just too damned adorable to be bitchy. I'm sorry. I know you worked hard at it, but I have to be honest.

And I kind of like glib. That was probably obvious, though.

 

[sirhugs]

wow

I didn't realize Lit would allow that many characters ( words) in a profile.

Otherwise, I agree with Perdy that editing might make your point clearer. Not sure I would us the word 'glib'. " smartass " maybe. Please take that as a vcompliment.

 

[Chicklet]

I was trying to make it half-amusing as well as get my point across. Before I changed it it was sort of like "WELL FUCK YOU I"M NOT SENDING ANY FUCKING PICTURES YOU ASSHOLE"

and then someone asked for a picture yesterday and I replied by saying "OH, I'm sorry, you must not have gotten my message. FUCK YOU ASSHOLE"

And I sort of felt guilty

so i changed it

I'm having pms

I need a midol

and some electric shock therapy

even though seriously EST sucks ass

yeah

sucks ass

not that i have anything against people that like to suck ass

just assholes that want naked pics of me.

thanks.

 

[Guest]

Excuse me, Chicklet, I just want to take the opportunity of grabbing a Hug.

Knaughty man: I sent you feedback a few days ago and have not rec'd a gentlemanly thank you, esp. given my sincere praise.

P.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I was trying to make it half-amusing as well as get my point across. Before I changed it it was sort of like "WELL FUCK YOU I"M NOT SENDING ANY FUCKING PICTURES YOU ASSHOLE"

and then someone asked for a picture yesterday and I replied by saying "OH, I'm sorry, you must not have gotten my message. FUCK YOU ASSHOLE"

You know, Chicklet, all due repect, but this is not the first time you've complained about guys asking you for pictures, or approaching you sexually, or generally assuming that you're available and even looking.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe by posting a nude picture of yourself as your Av--several actually, as I recall. I believe you have a tit shot as well--and by writing a bio that makes it seem like you are starved for someone to talk to, you may be inviting this kind of response? Because I've got to say that it seems like that to me.

I mean, it's obvious that you have nude pictures of yourself; it's obvious that you enjoy showing them off. Can you blame a guy who's looking for pictures like this to approach you and ask for more? I mean, you seem willing to share.

Actually, I didn't read your entire bio, it was way too long. I'm astonished that you were able to write that whole thing in that little tiny slot they give you. Where you can only see like ten letters at a time? (Or is there another way to submit a bio?)

As I say, I mean no offence, but in all honesty you come across as a woman trolling for some action. I don't think you should complain when you get it.

Regards,

---dr.M.

 

[KillerMuffin]

I mostly agree with Dr. M. It's how you present yourself, not what you say.

The BB just does not get the traffic that the stories get. The odds of people finding your nudie pics on the BB are, if the traffic ratio is anything to go by, around 1000 to 1.

The rest of it, yes, I agree completely with him.

I'd suggest that you rewrite your biography. It's not bitchy, but it sends mixed messages. It says "I'm cute, I like to flirt, I like to have fun" and then it says "Don't flirt with me" and then you go on to say "write to me!". They're going to read what they want to read.

It sounds weird, but desexualize the author. You're selling your writing, not yourself to the reader and that's what you have to make clear. Change the picture. Write a biography that's centered on your writing rather than on who you are.

Lastly, it's a bad idea to argue with critics. Actually, it's a terrible idea. People read that and base their impression of your "professionalism" based on how you treat readers. Whether they're nutcases or abusive or not, it's a bad idea to show other readers that you think of some of them as "nutcases". You will always get negative feedback and emails calling you a freak. Just delete them and move on. Arguing with them reduces the first impression you make on new readers, which you seriously don't want to do.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Dr. M, you can write your bio in a bigger text box by doing so from the "profile" link on your author page rather than the one in the bulletin board.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Bitchy, NO. Chatty, YES.

For what it's worth, I kinda, semi-agree with Doc about the request of nude photos. I'd hate for you to use a different AV. Instead of firing back an abusive response, you might try sending a photo of the ugliest nude you can dig up (I'd volunteer one of me but since I believe in being kind to my fellow dumb, male animals, I will refrain). Maybe you could find something along the lines of MG's "smilie face" AV but with a body.

I've always been told that those suffering from PMS need two things, courage and chocolate. I know for a fact that guys suffering the repercussions of their s/o's PMS need whiskey, dope, an escape route, or prayer.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[deliciously_naughty]

I totally disagree with Rumple, KM and Mab.

I think that you have every right to post any sort of picture of yourself in a thread, as an av, whatever without idiots presuming that they deserve for you to email one to them.

Kudos to your phrasing...I thought it was amusing. I think you come across as someone who is putting herself out there, but requesting that people respect that you're an author, not whatever porno version of you that they want to cherish or chastise.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Of course you have a right to post whatever you want, dn. They also have a right to interpret what you post however they want. Don't forget that in your kudos. Act like you're available and you'll get treated that way.

I totally disagree with you, dn. Chicklet does not have a right to dictate to others what they'll think about her. They'll form their own opinions based on whatever she presents them with whether you like it or not.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I totally disagree with Rumple, KM and Mab.

I think that you have every right to post any sort of picture of yourself in a thread, as an av, whatever without idiots presuming that they deserve for you to email one to them.

Kudos to your phrasing...I thought it was amusing. I think you come across as someone who is putting herself out there, but requesting that people respect that you're an author, not whatever porno version of you that they want to cherish or chastise.

DN, you're either being deliberately contentious or appallingly naive.

If you walk into the dog pound wearing your T-bone sports coat, you should hardly be surprised when the dogs follow you out.

---dr.M.

 

[openthighs_sarah]

I thought I'd add something substantive to my earlier, half-assed post.

The message I get from your profile is that you welcome feedback, you crave feedback, you're a basically friendly soul, and you care very much about writing. The rest of it seems to be a preemptive strike against receiving certain kinds of emails and requests. I can't say if it works because I'm not among the intended recipients.

My impression is really that you're tired of saying the same thing to the same people, so you wanted to say it in your profile. That's fair enough. If you really have people who send you 20 requests for nude pictures, though, this isn't going to stop them. You're an attractive and friendly woman and you write about sex, often in first person -- some readers will want to tell you how much they loved your stories, and some will try to push the fantasy a little farther, and see how much they can get from you. I won't say you shouldn't let it bother you because that's your business, and if you think this might help, there's no reason not to do it. But a true solution -- one that will either prevent these kinds of requests or allow you to laugh them off -- probably won't involve changes to your bio. As others have mentioned in this thread, people will see you how they wish.

One more thought, and then I'm done. You've devoted a good portion of your bio to addressing people you don't like, people you don't want writing to you. If anything, I'd just give a little more space to addressing the kind of readers you want, and less to the undesirables.

That's all.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I totally disagree with Rumple, KM and Mab.

Well, I'm accustomed to folks disagreeing with me. At least this time I'm in pretty good company.

RF

 

[Rainbow Skin]

I'm not sure whether I have to remember the previous profile to compare. I can't recall any come-hither eyes in it. But anyway, the following three messages are quite compatible, and it's not provocative to be sending all of them out. Lots of people here fit these three:

1. I am a sexy, fun female.
2. I am a writer interested in feedback from my readers.
3. I am not interested in you trying to get personal with me or mistaking fiction for fact.

Now I thought your current version had the right tone, but was too long and rambling. It mixes 1. to 3. without making each of them clear.

In your case 1. comes from the picture and the opening ramble about the deli and whatever else you do want the public to know about your personal life.

2. should come next. Writer to reader, how you welcome feedback on technique, content, length, and so on. Sort of nude photographers discussing F-distances and lighting. Make this a bit impersonal. But put it here, as it's the more important.

Only finally cover 3., and try to make it more perfunctory and more dismissive. Cover the objections briefly: It's fiction, you made it up, there aren't any more details. You're not remotely interested in swapping pictures. You don't care how often they came; that's not a feedback for the writer.

 

[Chicklet]

re: pictures

My problem is that people who do know the forums wouldn't have to ask me for pics - they could find them. People that e-mail me saying "OH GOD YOU MADE ME CUM SO HARD CAN I SEE YOUR PUSSY" are the ones that piss me off. I just get sick and tired of it, so I thought I'd put something about it in my profile.

I didn't mean to start an argument, I just wanted to know if I sounded bitchy or not. I didn't want to know if you thought my morals or my attitude is *wrong* I just wanted to know if it sounded way too bitchy. I'll probably change it in a couple days, I always do.

Chicklet

 

[Chicklet]

ps

i hate asking innocent questions and then when i come back to read the answers feeling like i have to defend myself. maybe i'm sensative...okay I know i'm sensative, but sometimes i just hate the boards.

 

[The Muse]

Just adding my $0.02....

I firmly believe that those requesting your pic, will neither read your whole profile, or will - and send a request anyway. (that's giving them the credit that they CAN read...)

Seriously, I think you all have valid points.

If a guy wants to cum all over the screen whilst looking at you, great. If he wants to do the same to one of your stories, that's ok too.

I don't see that you have a choice. Your stories and you avatar all suggest a very open, sexual woman. If it bothers you that much, you have to change these things. Over the internet it's very hard to gauge what's right and wrong, in terms of offending someone.

 

[Rainbow Skin]

If they've just read a story and are sending feedback on that, you can't do anything. You can't put disclaimers at the end of every story.

If they've gone from a story to looking at the profile, you can expect them to pay some attention to it. Granted, 'Status: Attached' and 'Looking for: Friends' aren't enough to say 'clear off', especially if you've written juicy loving-wives tales about discovering new 'friends'.

So that's why I think a succinct statement in the profile is better. Easily parsable: this bit's if you like my writing. This bit's if you want to 'get to know me'. Nothing in this should be difficult to understand, even for dorkbrains.

That might winnow out some of the borderline dorks, anyway.

 

[sirhugs]

not hijacking, Chiclet, I promise

Excuse me, Chicklet, I just want to take the opportunity of grabbing a Hug.

Knaughty man: I sent you feedback a few days ago and have not rec'd a gentlemanly thank you, esp. given my sincere praise.

P.

\
sorry, never arrived at this end. No doubt the gods of cyberspace enjoyed the message.

Chicklet has the wrong admirers. I'd be happy for any ( almost, just kidding, stalkers not needed)

okay, just found it in 'junk mail' . That's odd, feedback never went there before...hmmm...time to spank the computer again.

 

[sirhugs]

ps

i hate asking innocent questions and then when i come back to read the answers feeling like i have to defend myself. maybe i'm sensative...okay I know i'm sensative, but sometimes i just hate the boards.

a) don't defend yourself. YOU know you are write, err I mean right

b) at least you know people care

 

[Pure]

I agree with Mabeuse and Rumple and a few others.

It's VERY chatty, and in a way solicits lots of email. Assuming that's what you want.

As to the sex, that's been a topic before. I like the nudes of you, and others will like that pic. So if you 'really' want less propositions in emails, tone that down.

In my mind, if you read a profile, for example, like KM's it's highly discouraging of that sort of thing. Few words, to the point. You're trying to have it both ways, like "I'm cute and I strip for the world, but hey guy I won't get into it with you." That message or mixture of signals can't possibly 'work'--. Well, wait a minute: what does 'work' mean. Perhaps your aim is to be on record as disavowing the seeking of sexy emails while at the same time NOT ruling out getting them. Well then you've probably succeeded.

Not to excuse boors and assholes, but flaunting it will always get a certain response.

J.

 

[Quasimodem]

Chicklet,

When you first posted your new Bio, I read it but did not answer. Not because it was beneath comment, but because I failed to see any controversy.

I should have remembered that EVERYTHING here is capable of raising Controversy.

To characterize your Biography:

The opening is a breezy, chatty, sort of informal, yet personal greeting, and description of whom you are. (At least, who you are for the purposes of your Biography.) You give your age, your reference. (Read: number and variety of story types.)

Next, you warn potential readers of the possible differences in taste they might experience when encountering your stories, and that they are not necessarily autobiographical. You mange to let them down about this, in a somewhat humorous manner.

Again, employing humour, you advise potential readers that you do not wish to hear, in fact, won’t read, physical reaction fan mail, which is an act of kindness for some reader about to write 10,000 words about the extra two inches his schlong reached by the end of reading your story.

While you discourage any reader from actively requesting nude photographs of you, you do unbend from this position enough to advise that while neither beggars nor exhibitionist’s sending photos will be directly rewarded with reciprocal photos, you do not entirely dash their hopes. For those whose need is great, you let slip the knowledge that such photos do exist, if only they can find them.

Finally, you advise them that you do accept and read Feedback, but are more interested in their opinion of your story, rather than detail about how the story affected them personally. And let them know with whom you will be sharing their confidences. (It will not be me, and a cadre of girls who will be yackking our guts out over your missive, but rather a tasteful explanation that they will be shared with “you and your cats.”)

In fact, between yesterday’s perusal and today’s analysis, I have only two negative remarks. You have removed the photograph that graced the former biography. While you may have your reasons, from the reader’s point-of-view, this is definitely not an improvement. Secondly, while I may be suffering with a deluded memory, I seem to recall that yesterday’s Bio. was laid out in paragraphs. That condition also must be considered an improvement over the solid block of type which I encountered, today.

If truth be known, I had earmarked your Bio. as a good style to crib from, if it ever appeared that in writing my own Bio. I would be participating in anything more than an experiment in futility.

 

[DarlingNikki]

Hi Chicklet - I know this isn't what you asked about, and I hope this isn't a comment that makes you feel you have to defend yourself, but the social worker in me had to say something.

I'm just worried that in one place one can find a picture of your face and body, your erotic stories, the name of your town, and the type of establishment you work in, as well as the fact that it's the type of establishment that anyone can walk into if they like. You can be found pretty easily if someone wanted to. You obviously know how many freaks there are out there, people who think that since you write sex stories you're fair game, people who think that because you write a certain kind of sex stories that you're a bad kind of person, etc. I just wonder if that's such a safe idea.