Help! Is He bored?

[sistersavior]

i need some advice. i'm a sub and have been in a D/s relationship for about 5 months now. Things started out great; He was always up for playtime and pushed my limits expertly, but now i find that things are cooling off. We only play maybe once or twice a month now; sometimes when we're in bed there will be some light spanking but i feel like it's been ages since we've had an intense session. i have brought it up to Him and He's absolutely aware of the decline in activity, but says only that He is "working on it". i don't think i've done anything wrong...but perhaps there is something i can do to speed up the process? Are there any Doms or subs out there who've experienced something like this and have found a way through it? i don't want us to part, but i'm growing restless!

 

[graceanne]

i need some advice. i'm a sub and have been in a D/s relationship for about 5 months now. Things started out great; He was always up for playtime and pushed my limits expertly, but now i find that things are cooling off. We only play maybe once or twice a month now; sometimes when we're in bed there will be some light spanking but i feel like it's been ages since we've had an intense session. i have brought it up to Him and He's absolutely aware of the decline in activity, but says only that He is "working on it". i don't think i've done anything wrong...but perhaps there is something i can do to speed up the process? Are there any Doms or subs out there who've experienced something like this and have found a way through it? i don't want us to part, but i'm growing restless!

It's possible you're right and he's getting bored, but it's also very possible you're going through a downward sex-slump. That happens. It's hard, energy wise, to maintain an awesome sex life 24/7, 365 days a week.

 

[Dietcokehead]

Just because your a sub doesnt mean you have to wait around for him to start something. Maybe surprise him one day by making your body into an edible treat (ie go out buy some whipped cream and chocolate sauce) or something like that. The person above is right BDSM is hard to keep up 24/7 this could just be a cool down period.

But if your getting bored and really want something let him know in an interesting way. Sometimes all they need is a nudge in the right direction.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I wouldn't even hazard a guess at what is happening in your relationship, and don't think it comes down to just the choices of boredom or sex slumps etc. As with all relationships, especially where sexual issues are involved, there can be a multitude of reasons why things have fallen off a bit. Part of being in a relationship is dealing with those times, and the real causes of them. My suggestion would be to bring up your concerns again, not in a confrontational or ultimatum type way, but one which not only makes clear you need to discuss this openly and honestly, but that you also are concerned for him, not just your own needs and frustrations. It could very well be it has something to do with something totally unrelated, or could be something going on with him which he either has not sorted out for himself or is wary of mentioning to you out of fear of your reactions. He is the only person who can provide your answer for you, just don't go reading things into it which may not be there and thus causing a bigger problem for both of you.

Catalina

 

[Trajal]

I disagree. Give him space. He probably just needs time. Sometimes I need to go through a patch of a few weeks where there is little "physical" D/s play involved. It doesn't mean I've lost interest I'm just recharging my batteries. Could be stressed or could just need to take a break from something before going back to it. Kinda like putting down a book that you're really enjoying because you want to look at it again with fresh eyes.

After you've given him some time, try hinting or making it impossible for him to resist. Some nights I am not particularly in the mood at first but my girl just kinda.. stretches herself out naked on the bed and looks pleadingly at me.. I often get in the mood pretty damn quickly...

 

[subtleone]

Hijack

I... It's hard, energy wise, to maintain an awesome sex life 24/7, 365 days a week.

Gracie I don't know about hard I'd say this is impossible to do




*offers up plate of freshly baked triple choc chip cookies by way of apology*
/Hijack