Help in improving my writing

[Hisscarlett]

I am new to the site and have submitted a few stories - four of which have been posted. I enjoy writing and would like to improve. I hope that this is the right forum to ask my question. If it is not I apologise and will delete it as soon as possible.

I know that everyone is busy, life for everyone is hectic and full of things that need to be done, so I am wondering if anyone has the time and would like to read my stories and give constructive feedback?

I know that I am not the only person who is looking to improve their writing and don't want to be too "pushy" so if this is an inappropriate request I would appreciate someone letting me know.

I have included a link to the list of stories posted.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=1014796&page=submissions

Thank you

s

 

[Selena_Kitt]

I am new to the site and have submitted a few stories - four of which have been posted. I enjoy writing and would like to improve. I hope that this is the right forum to ask my question. If it is not I apologise and will delete it as soon as possible.

I know that everyone is busy, life for everyone is hectic and full of things that need to be done, so I am wondering if anyone has the time and would like to read my stories and give constructive feedback?

I know that I am not the only person who is looking to improve their writing and don't want to be too "pushy" so if this is an inappropriate request I would appreciate someone letting me know.

I have included a link to the list of stories posted.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=1014796&page=submissions

Thank you

s

You might try the Story Feedback forum... and also, if you want 1:1 help, the editor's forum.

Welcome to the AH.

 

[Hisscarlett]

Thank you!

Should I delete this thread?

Thank you for your advice

s

 

[gauchecritic]

First, you can't delete threads. Only Laurel or Manu or whoever (site owners/admin)

Next. Yes, there's loads of room for improvement but that's not a negative because there will always be loads of room, the trick is knowing when to stop editing.

I'm not into BDSM so I read the Jenni stories. They are really very good. Good pace, easy to read, well constructed 3rd person.

I'm not actually fond of daddy/daughter stories and found I was holding back from suspension so that's possibly a reason why I didn't vote. If it had been in a sub-cat I enjoyed I would probably have given it a five but I can't be impartial like that.

So, the bad news.

Lots of repetitive openings to consecutive sentences/paragraphs. She did this... she did that. Jenni hugged...Jenni was... Jenni listened...

The second paragraph of the whole thing jumped into what is often frowned upon. Info-dump and figure descriptions. Not actually bad things but a skilled writer knows where to put them or avoids them altogether by show and not tell. (but at least you avoided the mirror scene)

There were some great interactive moments eg squeezing Jenni's wrist but then a failure to explain or even surmise as to why.

On the whole a very good effort. Well worth the read but you could definitely do with an editor or polisher to smooth out the rough parts which are small niggly things that I haven't mentioned (sudden appearance of cock from trousers without any intervening process) but would improve the flow overall.

Keep writing, keep improving.

 

[Hisscarlett]

Thank you!

Gauchecritic I really appreciate you taking the time to read the stories and give me your thoughts.

I had been worried about the repetition you mentioned. For some reason I just got into that rut and couldn't figure a way out. I have already submitted the next chapter and I know I continued that bad habit. When I start the next part tomorrow I will make a conscious effort to be more imaginative and have better paragraph openings. Thank you.

The first part of the Jenni story was my first attempt and I didn't understand the concept of "info dump" - your explanation was great and I will definitely bear it in mind and remember not to do it again! I smiled when you mentioned the "mirror thing" because I actually did write a mirror scene in one other story but when I read it back I couldn't bear it so removed it - phew!

I appreciate your point on the interactions and including more - and giving explanations etc as appropriate.

Thank you for the suggestion about approaching an editor; I will be following that up too.

I am very grateful for your comments and for the time you took in reading and responding - thank you so much.

s

 

[gauchecritic]

Effulgent and effusive thanks are nice.

Being aware of what effulgent and effusive mean is also a good thing in writing. (ie you use a larger and more proper vocabulary than many newby writers) which I forgot to mention.

ETA you can call me gauche. Or paradoxically Ms Critic. (but don't let the honorific confuse you)

 

[epiphany65]

I found the 'Essays & How-To's' very helpful. Read them all. You can find a list on this page:
http://www.literotica.com/storyxs/writ_stor.shtml

Something else I've found helpful is reading a lot. Not just stories on this site, but anything you can get your hands on. Study how other authors write. But most importantly: write! It's the only way you'll improve. Don't get discouraged. Good luck.

 

[Hisscarlett]

Thanks again gauche

 

[Hisscarlett]

Thank you epiphany65. I appreciate the recommendation and actually spent a large portion of yesterday reading some of the posts there.

I am a voracious reader and have been since childhood - hence my desire to actually write something worthy of reading!

I really appreciate you taking time to point me in the right direction.