Help in bed

[Hippy_man99]

Hello everyone...This is my first post here...hi!

anyways...back to the question...
I've been with my girlfriend for about 2 years now. Our relationship is wonderful. I love her with all of my heart. There is nothing i wouldn't do for her. We seem to be having a problem with our love life. We're both virgins...(oh my! i said it!!) We're also relatively young. (im only 18). We both want to have sex and are willing to do so.
Our problem is that she is utterly scared of getting pregnant...REALLY scared. She wants to make me cum, but she wont because she's too scared that she might get pregnant...Now we both still have our clothes on at this point... I keep telling her that she wont get pregnant...i keep reassuring her that i would always be with her...but she says that in the back of her mind...she is deathly afraid... She says, and i agree, that a child would ruin our lives right now (were both just getting out of high school and going into college)

We might try to use a condom in our playing...but she still is afraid...

now...I dont want help just so i can have sex with her...this isnt my goal...i want her to be comfortable with me...

any suggestions that would make her more comfortable with me and our intimacy would be appreciated...
I love her to no end...and i wouldn't be asking for help if i didn't care about her as much as i do

thanks for any suggestions...

later

 

[Star of Penumbra]

Well, you could use condoms, the pill, IUDs, diaphragms, and the pull out method (all of them at the same time).

If your sperm can somehow make it past five different contraceptive methods after only one time, then either you are the most virile man in the history of the planet, or she's the most fertile woman. Either way, it would easily get both of you a permanent place in medical history.

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[Sjon]

welcome, Hippy-man! I am also very new here, well, registered here, but I'll give you my best ideas.

Is she on birth control? If she isn't, perhaps she should do so. It greatly lessens the chance of pregnancy.

Even if she is on birth control, wear a condom anyway...It's extremely safe with both of those, and even more so if the condom is spermacidally lubricated, I reccommend Lifestyles, but have no qualms about Trojan or any other reputable condom companies.

What about oral sex? Have you guys gone into that? My best guess is that the chance of pregnancy is very...VERY minimal during oral sex. It can be great fun to experiment with that.

Did her mother have her or a sibling of hers at an early age? That can cause alot of fear of pregnancy, because they saw how they "ruined" their parents' lives. The truth is that the parent probably wasn't using the proper protection, but it still generates a fear of pregnancy. If the parent was using protection...you have one hell of a comforting job to do, and if you love her, you will do it.

Make sure you let her know that you're taking all the right steps to prevent pregnancy, and even add an extra measure (maybe some ladies could enlighten a guy on this one, I'm not sure what they have out there right now). Just talk talk talk until you get to the bottom of why she's afraid, then take specific precautions against her fear.

I'm sure all these other literoticans can give you better advice, so if someone says to disregard everything I say...you should probably do it.

 

[Hippy_man99]

wow...i post and like half an hour later i already have 3 new replies....

We are probably gonna start using condoms...it seems to make her feel better...

as to Pink Orchid's comment...i know that she has been properly educated...i went through the same course she took and believe me...they covered everything...literally.... I think her overwhelming fear of being pregnant has caused rational thought on the subject to leave her mind. She says that she knows she wont get pregnant...but in the back of her head she thinks of the ever powerful ""What if???"

Thank you all for your suggestions...keep em comming...

later

 

[Lust Engine]

as to Pink Orchid's comment...i know that she has been properly educated...i went through the same course she took and believe me...they covered everything...literally.... I think her overwhelming fear of being pregnant has caused rational thought on the subject to leave her mind. She says that she knows she wont get pregnant...but in the back of her head she thinks of the ever powerful ""What if???"

Ugh...that infamous WHAT IF? question.

-What if a meteor falls on our heads during lovemaking?
-What if a rhino appears at the foot of the bed?
-What if Janet Reno bursts into the bedroom?
-What if my car fails to start the next day?

There are COUNTLESS What If? scenarios. Some are rational and some aren't. You'll have to gently guide her through some of these insecurities. Be reassuring. But she does have a bit of that fear in a vein of solid thinking; being a parent at your age now would drastically change your lives. It would curtail college, socializing, work and totally change your lives in EVERY aspect. If you were to become a dad, do you realize what your responsibilities to that child would be?

Acknowledge those fears and proceed forward. There's no guaranteed birth control short of abstenance (a friend who had a vasectomy a year back just had their 3rd kid!). While the odds could be slim with a ton of precautions, there's no guarantees. Go slowly. Acknowledge her fears & I can only wish you the best of luck.

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[alphacat]

For a teenage girl, the thought of getting pregnent is a VERY scary one, so even if her fear is unfounded, it is understandable.
However, if she has her clothes on, there is almost no way she can get pregnent (maybe if you came right on her crotch a few sperm might possibly get through the cloth, but I doubt it...). Therefore, if she wants to make you come, she can give you a blowjob and be safe. If you guys want to have sex at some point, I'd recommend (even if she wasn't so scared) for her to go on the pill and you to use a condom every time. Then you'll be safe.
Oh, by the way..... if she gives you a blow job, I'd recommend at least offering to eat her out in return. It's only fair, and *damn* does that feel good

 

[Lust Engine]

I guess one way to help ease the fear would be to rely on multiple birth control methods. The pill in conjuction with the diaphragm. Toss in the condom, spermicide and everything else that's considered safe. Hopefully her fear be too overwhelming but maybe with MORE precautions, it might ease her anxiety some. Hopefully it doesn't ruin the moment too much.

Again, good luck.

 

[Hippy_man99]

Thank you all again for your suggestions....
to answer a few of your questions...

PinkOrchid: She seems to be afraid of my cum no matter where it goes...even if its just in her hand...

Alphacat: Dont worry...i give her all the oral she can stand...she loves it and I love giving it to her...I like seeing her happy...

Thanks again for your help

later

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[Lust Engine]

Wow... seems like a deep running phobia of semen going here! Also seems like Orchid has the idea though- she might need some counselling. While the fear of pregnancy is valid, the fear of semen is a tad out there.

I just keep thinking about all those couples out there that WANT to conceive and despite numerous attempts at getting pregnant, they come up with no luck. I guess that's the flipside of the coin.

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[tailfinz69]

I had a girlfriend

who was afraid of/disgusted by (?) cum. She ran away with another...woman. Not saying this is the case above, but it does seem to indicate some underlying issues. Best of luck to you.

 

[OnyxEros]

Hey Hippy

please please take your time with her.

Maybe she has something from her past she hasn't told you. Maybe there is a religious reason. For whatever reason pleas don't make her feel something is wrong for her feeling this way.

The bottom line is that it seems she is not ready to deal with the responsibility of if she get's pregnate. You can't force her to get over that. Also she is very very young give her time.

happy loving
O

 

[Hippy_man99]

hey people...thanks a gain for your help

we tried using a condom when she gave me a blowjob and jacked me off...it worked great and she really felt comfortable... i think we found out how to fix things for the time being....
I always take my time with her...i love her and would never leave her....im glad yu people could give me some advice...

later