Help I'm being sued....

[Willing and Unsure]

I know, I probably should have stayed quiet... but at the same time, I hope in some small way that my post might prove useful to him in future situations.

I hope it did too. That is what I was thinking (essentially), but just couldnt resist making a smart-assed comment in response to something else that he'd said instead of trying to put it all nicely and stuff.

 

[silverwhisper]

guess we'll have to wait until the small hours: the time stamp on his posts suggests he's only here around midnightish, east coast time.

ed

 

[Ravin the Poet]

I'm going to say I think calling the police was a little drastic. Of course (and take this as no offence, because I am a Canadian looking at American culture) that's the normal thing to do in the US, call police and sue. A sterotype maybe, but it's seem all the time on news, TV and other media. Just confuses me why people don't just talk to each other. Ask the neighbour "Do you smell something weird in your house ever, it smells like weed" and don't point fingers. If you're good at seeking reactions, you can tell if they are lying or not.

Ravin

 

[Nonchalant]

I've been in your situation in a previoius apartment building - I'm highly sensitive to smoke of any sort, and smoke from my pot-smoking neighbors downstairs was drifting up through the floor and making our apartment smell like marijuana. I'm not a fan of illegal substances, but I could also care less what people do with their own free time and bodies... as long as it's not affecting me in any way. I stopped at their door on my way home one evening and had a little chat with them. I told them it wouldn't normally be my business, but their smoking was affecting the quality of my living. I told them that I had no intention of calling the landlord or cops, but asked if they would please keep their habits to the back porch, which was open to the outside air, yet private enough that they wouldn't be seen or caught. They agreed, and it was never an issue again.

exactly.

This is all i said in my post, i didnt insult anyone. All you had to do was take 5 minutes to walk next door, and im sure something could have been worked out.

There are people being robbed raped and killed that need police assistance, yet they are wasting time responding to a call of someone smoking weed in their basement. Give me a break.

 

[SweetErika]

I live in a large apartment complex, and there are 12 apartments in my particular building. Disputes are bound to come up. Whenever my husband and I are unhappy with a neighbor, we confront them ourselves first. A calm, civil discussion about our concerns usually clears up the dispute without the need to take it to the authorities (whether that be management, or the cops).

I've been in your situation in a previoius apartment building - I'm highly sensitive to smoke of any sort, and smoke from my pot-smoking neighbors downstairs was drifting up through the floor and making our apartment smell like marijuana. I'm not a fan of illegal substances, but I could also care less what people do with their own free time and bodies... as long as it's not affecting me in any way. I stopped at their door on my way home one evening and had a little chat with them. I told them it wouldn't normally be my business, but their smoking was affecting the quality of my living. I told them that I had no intention of calling the landlord or cops, but asked if they would please keep their habits to the back porch, which was open to the outside air, yet private enough that they wouldn't be seen or caught. They agreed, and it was never an issue again.

When I was in college, I was a resident advisor. Disputes among neighbors and roommates were quite frequent in the dormatories. In my 4 years of working as an RA, I saw many situations that were easily resolved, and some that just got worse and worse. The ones that were most easily settled were the ones in which the students involved were willing to communicate and come up with solutions on their own. If the students could talk about their problems civilly, there was a 99% chance that they would come to a solution. Whenever they refused to talk to each other (i.e. call the cops when your neighbor's being loud late at night, instead of asking them to turn down their stereo, etc) there was a 100% chance that the problem would escalate, to the point of being damn-near impossible to resolve.

I think this is what's happening in your case, Cupit. Why did your wife think the police were the best first step? Had you tried talking to them about it in the past? People who smoke marijuana are usually mellow people, unless you involve the authorities - then paranoia sets in and they're impossible to work with. If you had just asked them to put a fan in their basement to keep the smoke away from the shared wall, they probably would have been happy to comply, if it would keep the cops away.

Yes, they're overreacting to your calling the police - there's no need for them to sue. But on the same note, I think you and your wife overreacted to the problem in the first place.

Excellent advice, Lynxie. We've had problems with neighbors too, and always try talking in a nonconfrontational way first whenever possible. If that doesn't work or there's some reason we can't talk, we ask the management to give them a reminder or better enforce the rules. We did have one neighbor who had a constant stream of unsavory characters pounding on her (and our) door at all hours, the aroma of pot wafting out, had put up a false wall so no one could see inside, and consistently locked her children out of the house...I called the police on that one for the safety of the kids and us, and the responded accordingly.

But we also make it a point to establish a relationship with the neighbors and ask them to let us know if we're bothering them in any way... usually they will ask the same of us, and everything goes great.

 

[angelique127]

I also have kids, but I also believe in people's right to do what they want. My neighbors leave me alone and I leave them alone. I live in the U.S. I work hard, pay my taxes and when I am at home I do not want the cops coming to my house because a neighbor called them. I do what I want in my home and no one has the right to tell me otherwise. If it were me pot would be legal. At least for medical purposes.

 

[makofin]

Holy Shit...

You are very lucky you are not my neighbor, if you called the cops on me , for smoking reefer, I wouldn't be surprised when you turned up missing. ...think about it !

Makofin----- Oklahoma Patroits againest taxes and defender of freedom of speech, and the legalization of marijaunia.....

 

[BeachLovers]

My $0.02

Lynxie's advice on handling situations like this is absolutely the best way to handle things -- up front, in person, non-confrontational, and early on -- before either person has let it fester to the point where he/she is more worked up about it and less likely to appear non-confrontational. This works well in many different settings -- neighbors, workplace, friendships, spouse/SO. Then, of course, if they're still unreasonable and being a jerk, that's when you light the bag of dog poop on their front porch!
Now, having said that (ignore the dog poop part!), when things aren't handled that way, people can overreact, which happened here. In their mind, and in the mind of many on this thread, they were justified in being upset that you called the cops first rather than speak with them directly. However, damaging your door, etc. and filing suit were overreactions.
From what Cupit has said, there should be little likelihood that the neighbor could successfully recover anything at all, less any substantial amount. Of course, you should consult an attorney for legal advice, and not rely on what any of us are saying here. If you don't think you can afford an attorney, there are resources like Legal Aid and other providers of free or inexpensive legal representation. If there is a law school nearby, they may have a program where students handle matters under the supervision of a professor.

 

[Volz]

If it was me, I would have called the cops too. *shrug*

No matter your opinion on marijuana, it is illegal. If my neighbors stereo was loud, I'd talk to them first. If I smell pot, I'm calling the police. I do not want to get myself involved with drug addicts or pot-heads.

 

[Cupitsoul]

Lynxie, I do feel their was a tension between our two families before this incident. It was from when they tried to force us via are Co-Op to remove a community fence and replace it at our cost and were upset because we refused to do so since then fence was not our responsibility. It has been since that moment we stopped talking. Since that point when were outside at the saem time they have made comments out loud like "I have never seen so many poor (racial) people". They always think were talking about them when were outside talking to other neighbors, it's hard to understand what the conflict of interest is sometimes....I think I'll talk with them face to face from now on since my wife will not.

My wife hates confrontations even with good hearted people, hell even with me. During this situation I couldn't do anything as I was asleep or I would have spoken with them myself.

That said maybe it was handled in a way that most would have handled it, but I was just seeking some advice based on my legal obligation.

Sorry, to anyone I may have offended my point of view is that of a father, husband, and citizen.

Thanks for the adice, now to "drill" it into my wifes head.

 

[6ingirth]

I can put my nose up to the cracks at the top of the walls which holds are floor support beams and smell it as the air is pushed through.

One word of advice: CAULK

 

[silverwhisper]

cupitsoul: let us know how things progress, please. it appears that the consensus view is that this could have been handled better, but now that you're in the situation, you could tell your neighbors that you'll withdraw the complaint in exchange for them dropping the suit.

ed

 

[Pleasureboy2]

So, I come here to ask a question and now I have defend myself as well? I just came here looking for help as it's the largest community I know of. You all have the right to your opinion but I'm only looking for some help with the matter at hand.

Listen, I don't think your situtation is as bad as you think it is. I am an attorney so the advise I give you is from that view point. Although the law differs from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, defamation of character is the basis of this type of suit. In order for him to prove that you defamed him he is going to have to prove that you said or wrote something bad that was untrue (truth is a complete defense to this type of law suit), that you said it or wrote it to a third party (which you did) and that he has sustained "damages" as a result. In legal terms, "damages" mean money. In other words he is going to have to prove that somehow he has lost money as a result of the defamation. Ask yourself "how is he going to prove that?" If he can't then he loses the law suit. A judge won't award money to someone who has not suffered a loss. The aim of tort law in this country is to "make people "whole" again after they have been "damaged" in some way. If a person cannot show their "damages" in terms of monetary loss, then the law (a judge) won't award them anything.

Anyway, hope this has been helpful. If you want more info you can PM me. Or, go online and order the NOLO press book about small claims court. NOLO press is in San Fransisco. You should be able to find their web site with a google search.