help?I need some advice......

[prettygrneyes]

ok this may sound strange to you BUTT I need your advice ,I trust that you will give me GOOD advice ,ok here it goes...

my x-gf was chatting on a local party line and ended up falling in lust for this guy and after a couple of months of endless chats and nights of falling to sleep on the phone with this person ,not eating and excessively drinking and partying ,changed her whole life for this person ,while this person being a control freak ,not allowing her to talk to me,we are or WERE still good friends,I mean juss a couple of weeks ago ,she wanted me to help find a house for her to move here and this was when she thought that she would see him tyme to tyme and possibly would rekindle what we shared at one time ,ok to make a long story short ,she calld me last week all upset and said OMG I found out from Sean's friend Sean is a female and not a man,(butt everyoNe else on the line knew it was a girl)hmmm well I told her he was either bisexual himself or it was a female ,(though she sounds like a man)she didnt want to hear me ,so now we have been fighting back and forth and its terrible ,we have said some very hateful things to each other ,I always thought of her as my BEST friend but now that she has found this out that this person lied to her ,nothing is changed ,she loves her ..and has repeatedily lied to her about her identity,AM i wrong or should I support her ?
Will this person keep lying?????

thanks any advice is greatly appreciated

 

[Vilac]

. . . . . . . .

; . . . !

? . . .

Ever feel as though you're forgetting something?

V~

 

[lovetoread]

I think that right now you should support her and let her know that you are her friend.

If she isnt listening to you about matters of the heart that you know is not right,then there isnt anything else you can do but just be there to help pick up the pieces when its all over and done with.

 

[SexySlut2]

I wouldn't support her if she is doing something that you think is wrong. Bottom line, it's up to you and no matter what anyone says you are going to do what you think you need to, just like she is.
good luck.

 

[prettygrneyes]

thanks

I wouldn't support her if she is doing something that you think is wrong. Bottom line, it's up to you and no matter what anyone says you are going to do what you think you need to, just like she is.
good luck.

I think it's wrong but only cause she is a "different " person now ,I hope one day we will be friends again.....I think once a liar is always a liar....thats my opinion...she lied when they were becoming close ,she lied!!!!!not a good start ....do you think???

 

[Ishmael]

I wouldn't support her if she is doing something that you think is wrong. Bottom line, it's up to you and no matter what anyone says you are going to do what you think you need to, just like she is.
good luck.

What she said. Disengage.

If the shit hits the fan, you could likely be blamed as the 'cause'. If it works out, you could very well be blamed for trying to 'break' them up. Lose, lose.

Think kindly of her and bide your time. She'll contact you eventually if the rift isn't to great already.

Good luck

Ishmael

 

[prettygrneyes]

thanks...

What she said. Disengage.

If the shit hits the fan, you could likely be blamed as the 'cause'. If it works out, you could very well be blamed for trying to 'break' them up. Lose, lose.

Think kindly of her and bide your time. She'll contact you eventually if the rift isn't to great already.

Good luck

Ishmael

for the advice Ishmael,I juss dont like seeing her being hurt or when she said that this peson lied to about her appearance and so on I thought it would be a closed book but no she thinks its ok ..

 

[SexySlut2]

Re: thanks

I think once a liar is always a liar....thats my opinion...she lied when they were becoming close ,she lied!!!!!not a good start ....do you think???

I agree with this comment. I have no use in my life for liars and if I find out someone has lied to me, after questioning them as to why they felt the need, I no longer have anything to do with them.
(I must add, my children are excluded from the above statement!)

 

[Ishmael]

Re: thanks...

for the advice Ishmael,I juss dont like seeing her being hurt or when she said that this peson lied to about her appearance and so on I thought it would be a closed book but no she thinks its ok ..

There ya go PGE.

Ishmael

 

[Nomad4112000]

I wouldn't support her either. I agree with SexySlut..... ButI would be there when it blows up in her face she'll need a freind.

 

[prettygrneyes]

Re: Re: thanks

I agree with this comment. I have no use in my life for liars and if I find out someone has lied to me, after questioning them as to why they felt the need, I no longer have anything to do with them.
(I must add, my children are excluded from the above statement!)

I think seeing as they were close she should have been the one to tell that she was a female and not a man ,that the stuff that she feLl in love with all was a lie,I personally would have to think that she lied about who she was as a person ,that what else is she going to lie about?

 

[SexySlut2]

Well, if you are talking to someone and they are portraying themselves as a different gender than what they are, then I don't see how she could believe anything this person says. The whole relationship is based on a lie.

 

[prettygrneyes]

true

Well, if you are talking to someone and they are portraying themselves as a different gender than what they are, then I don't see how she could believe anything this person says. The whole relationship is based on a lie.

thats how I think too ,I mean my friend should see this butt shes blinded my what she thinks is love......it's a shame....

 

[Wiggles]

Are you saying your friend started binging on alcohol and stopped eating, just because of this person? This person she's never met? That's not healthy behavior.

I think the fact that you're fighting over whether or not her boyfriend is actually a boy is pretty fucked up.

Never mind, those are just my personal thoughts.

Just let her know you only want the best for her, but you'll stand by her as she makes her own mistakes. That's pretty much all you can do, it's her life and she'll do what she pleases.

 

[prettygrneyes]

bad or good.....

Are you saying your friend started binging on alcohol and stopped eating, just because of this person? This person she's never met? That's not healthy behavior.

I think the fact that you're fighting over whether or not her boyfriend is actually a boy is pretty fucked up.

Never mind, those are just my personal thoughts.

Just let her know you only want the best for her, but you'll stand by her as she makes her own mistakes. That's pretty much all you can do, it's her life and she'll do what she pleases.

I asked for it ,so thank you for taking the time in giving me your advice or thoughts,but her and I have been good close friends for 6 years so now that I tell her to be weary of this loser she and I have fought alot about it ,but its true its her life but I hate to see her going thru shyt that is messed up....

 

[superstud1134]

Just let her know you only want the best for her, but you'll stand by her as she makes her own mistakes. That's pretty much all you can do, it's her life and she'll do what she pleases.

I agree with that babe.....let her know how you feel and that you care for her then just be there for her...that's all a friend can do hun.......

 

[prettygrneyes]

my lil stud muffin......

I agree with that babe.....let her know how you feel and that you care for her then just be there for her...that's all a friend can do hun.......

thanks babe for that advice.....well I think I have to let things cool down first butt I will let her know soon that I am here for her .....friend til thee end thru thick or thin ......

 

[LukkyKnight]

Friends do disagree.

Friends do tell you you're full of shit when nobody else cares enough to say so.

Friends don't let friends drink and make decisions they'll regret in the morning.

Friends let you make mistakes and still like you.

Friends can overcome arguments, and hateful insults uttered in the heat of the moment.

Friends also have the right to hold their tongue when they think you're not ready to hear what they have to say.

Can you disagree without being disagreeable? It's not your decision, and people react differently to different styles of "advice" at different times, sometimes without realizing it.

Friends are there when your perspective changes.

Friends are precious indeed.

 

[prettygrneyes]

LK

Friends do disagree.

Friends do tell you you're full of shit when nobody else cares enough to say so.

Friends don't let friends drink and make decisions they'll regret in the morning.

Friends let you make mistakes and still like you.

Friends can overcome arguments, and hateful insults uttered in the heat of the moment.

Friends also have the right to hold their tongue when they think you're not ready to hear what they have to say.

Can you disagree without being disagreeable? It's not your decision, and people react differently to different styles of "advice" at different times, sometimes without realizing it.

Friends are there when your perspective changes.

Friends are precious indeed.

thanks for the good advice as well as everyone else... I really do appreciate it!
we said some hateful things to each other ,things ya say when youre mad ,now I regret that we even went there
well maybe one day we will be friends again...who knows

 

[prettygrneyes]

wiggles.....

Are you saying your friend started binging on alcohol and stopped eating, just because of this person? This person she's never met? That's not healthy behavior.

I think the fact that you're fighting over whether or not her boyfriend is actually a boy is pretty fucked up.

Never mind, those are just my personal thoughts.

Just let her know you only want the best for her, but you'll stand by her as she makes her own mistakes. That's pretty much all you can do, it's her life and she'll do what she pleases.

I juss was re-reading what you had said that it was pretty fucked up we were arguing over about her BF being a boy ummm thats not really how it is,she met someone ,well started talking to him a few months ago ,as it turned out he sent someone in place of him to meet on their face to face meeting (which was not the same person she was talking to and fell in love with on the phone)and then a week later she gets a call from his friend and she tell's her that Sean is not a man and that her name is Terri and she is a hard core dyke(not to be rude) butt thats what she told my friend...so yes the reason we are arguing is cause my friend is not thinking too clear right now ,and yes she is grown to make her own decisions ,BUTT would you want anything to do with someone that has lied to you about their gender and everything you spoke to on the phone about was ALL lies as well (As this person impersonating her brother)so you see its really not fucked up ,maybe I shouldnt of care enough to show her this is not right ...I thought being we were friends that my opinion counted somewhat....I mean if you love someone or are close shouldn't they been honest from the start,why lie?