Help for Trolls

[firefighter02]

Greetings, Troll...

While we regulars here on the "how to" board are generally fun-loving, kind and considerate people, we can tend to be a little short-fused when it comes to questions posted on this board.

Please note that if you are indeed new to this board there isn't really anything as a dumb question; and although some would like it to be, the "how to" board isn't confined to things related to tech issues.

However if you have come here to ask anything remotely insane, or have not come along with your little troll friends to start a thread that could actually contain useful information, but you simply would like to have a place for you and your fellow troll to have a "one-on-one pissing match", then you are in the wrong place. I am sure that you stumbled in here by accident so I have taken the liberty of offering you the following instructions. Please use them and pass them along to your fellow trolls and your friends who pose as "troll-killers" when they are actually giant trolls themselves.

1. Do not attempt to start a new thread here. If you look on your screen and you see the words "HOW TO" you are in the wrong place.

2. If you flame someone on the board, make damm sure they deserve it. There are some here who are more respected than the Pope, so be careful who you piss off.

3. If you have something to add to the conversation, please do so, but dont be offended right off if the first reply is a flame.

4. In order to facilitate your safe passage back to where you belong please scroll down to the bottom of this page. In the lower left hand corner is a button that says "GO". Click the box to the left and scroll it until you find GENERAL BOARD. Click on that and you will be instantly transported back to the land you are accustomed too.

5. Thanks for visiting..Good Luck and GO AWAY.

On behalf of those who have had enough of the GB Trolls on the HOW TO board.

FF

 

[BlueSugar]

aw, hun, you should have read the etrollequite on the GB over the weekend.
this is just an open invite to more of them to work harder at what they do.

just hit ignore, once they stop getting the attention they're looking for - they leave, I promise

please, no matter how mad or frustraited you get, try not to start a thread like this, it just makes them and the matter worse.

 

[sheath]

Hell, I thought it was cute.

S.

 

[Bobmi357]

Can I practise being a troll? Please? Oh pretty please?


ummmm....

Lets see, would my sister be upset if I replaced her birthcontrol pills with sugar pills while she was sleeping and her boyfriend was planning to come on her face while her mom watched and fondled a pony and I jacked off a midget? And could she get pregnant from this? Oh yeah, I'm really 14 yrs old, but go into explicit details anyway.

Or better yet...

Ummm Hi, I'm new, tell me your darkest fantasies because I'm too lazy to read the stories or search the net for new masturbation material.

How about,

I want my wife to dress me up as a giant banna split, then force whip cream up my ass while she blows me and she refuses. How can I force her to do this?



Now I feel trollish.

 

[dollface007]

How about,

I want my wife to dress me up as a giant banna split, then force whip cream up my ass while she blows me and she refuses. How can I force her to do this?



Now I feel trollish.

cannot. stop. laughing......

 

[Pimptress J]

They can just go here - www.yibe.com

We have fun with trolls there...

 

[midwestyankee]

Can I practise being a troll? Please? Oh pretty please?


I want my wife to dress me up as a giant banna split, then force whip cream up my ass while she blows me and she refuses. How can I force her to do this?

Bobmi, I found that stocking up on fat-free Cool Whip made this offer much more attractive.

Thanks for the idea.

 

[Cathleen]

Thanks for the laughs.....very well done!!
If only we could "alt-ctrl-delete" them!

 

[Vixandra]

You think they're bad here you should see them on thier own board.
The GB is no place for the meek, something I learned the hard way.
Now- I putz in and out without giving a damn about it.

Or spend my time in the ORP's pillow pit and the BDSM Cafe- some very nice ppl in there.

 

[Mskey]

FF~

Sugar you absolutely made my morning with that one!

Bobmi~

dangit now ya made me snort my tea up my nose from laughing!

Trolls...the reason I stay away from the GB. *SIGH*

 

[ReadyOne]

I used to get upset with trolls, but I realized everyone has to have the right to post anything or the board isn't doing it's job.

However, I don't like them; I don't like having to wade through their waste of bandwidth, and I don't want their kind of entertainment.

The key seems to be the need for a troll to get (provoke) a response. This characteristic can be used quite effectively.

We ourselves hold the means to a solution.

DO NOT Feed the Negative Energy Creatures

Disappointingly, I've noticed they have gotten a few flame wars started recently.

It only takes one or two breaking ranks to make the "How To" board attractive to them....

PS: Good job with the creative writing, FF!

 

[Phoenix Stone]

Ah, Jeez. What kinda help is This? I thought it was going to be one of those:

"Hi, my name is Phoenix Stone and I am a Trolloholic. It has been 3 days since I last trolled...."



Or at least a list of 'You Know You Are A Troll If...."

(This is the part where you tell me that's already been done and to look in the library. )

 

[midwestyankee]

Ah, Jeez. What kinda help is This? I thought it was going to be one of those:

"Hi, my name is Phoenix Stone and I am a Trolloholic. It has been 3 days since I last trolled...."



Or at least a list of 'You Know You Are A Troll If...."

(This is the part where you tell me that's already been done and to look in the library. )

Actually, I think it would say:

"Hi, My name is Mary Hall and I eat trolls for breakfast, lunch, dinner and any old fucking time I want to! So keep them the hell out of my way before I start gaining weight on the little bastards."

Or something like that.

My apologies, Mary, if I haven't accurately captured your tender attitude toward trolls.

 

[firefighter02]

MWY...*snicker*

 

[Angel_Diva]

lol... this has actually helped...

and no... I AM NOT A TROLL....

 

[sheath]

Lets see, would my sister be upset if I replaced her birthcontrol pills with sugar pills while she was sleeping and her boyfriend was planning to come on her face while her mom watched and fondled a pony and I jacked off a midget? And could she get pregnant from this? Oh yeah, I'm really 14 yrs old, but go into explicit details anyway.

LMAO!



S.

 

[Bobmi357]

Troll Identification....

In order to make troll spotting easier, one must learn to spot trolls properly.

Therefore in the interest of public service, we offer the following troll spotting Guide.

The Virgin Troll.
This is the newbie troll, he/she is just beginning their trollhood by posting an outrageous question/comment. Note you can usually spot these trolls easily enough, they post once and rarely come back, their demeanor in posting is uniquely trollish, language skills are sometimes lacking.

The Illiterate Troll.
This subspecies of troll tends to spell badly and use run on sentences without paragraphs thus making their posts incredibly hard to read let alone bother with. The illiterate troll has a very limited lifespan due to the fact that their originating post is so hard to read. Underage Illiterate trolls often resort to using strange characters in place of regular letters, or MaKe SuDdEn CaPiTaLiZaTiOn shifts.

The Surprise Troll.
The surprise troll is the person that starts out asking what seems to be a serious question, but becomes more aggitated and obnoxious when people start reply that their idea is a bad one. Many of the incest posts are tend to be surprise trolls.

The Jerk Off Troll.
Similar in size and shape to the Virgin Troll, this nasty creature tricks people into replying to non "how to" posts by asking a seemingly innocent question like "Whats your fantasy?". The prinicple purpose of the Jerk Off Troll is to sit back and hope someone will provide them with masturbation material.

The I Love Me Troll.
This rare species of troll is predominantly male and seems to think they are god's gift to women. The I love me troll can usually be spotted in front of a mirror or admiring the size of their penis. A few rare females of this species have been spotted and are currently on the endangered species list. I Love Me Trolls usually date women that are unable to tell the difference between real men and pond scum.

The Regular Troll
A regular troll is anyone that routinely picks an arbitrary position or seems to go out of their way to cram their ideas down everyone's throat. These are closely related to the I Love Me troll as they think they are better than everyone else and more knowledgeable. Regular Trolls are a bane of modern BBS'ing as no known preventitive has been found effective in combatting them.

Combatting Trolls.

Currently few techniques work well on Trolls except for Anti-Trolls. Here on the How To we have few Anti-Trolls. Should you encounter a Troll, ignore them. If that fails or you find yourself succumbing to the urge to flame, dial 1-800-NO-TROLL.

 

[firefighter02]

So these two trolls walk into a bar, one of them with a duck on his shoulder. They walk up to the bartnder and the troll with the duck says "Give us two beers for free and my duck will give you a handjob."

The bartender hearing this, thinks this sounds crazy, so he turns to the other troll and asks him if he has ever had a handjob from a duck.

The second troll looks back at him and says. "What the fuck kind of freak are you? I wouldn't ever accept a handjob from a duck unless he was alseep and I could put my thumb up its ass and wear it like a hat."

Well..you get the idea...

 

[firefighter02]

Bumped for FELBY's benifit

 

[sheath]

Bumped for FELBY's benifit

LOL



S.

 

[Machiavellian]

like gremlins - don't feed them especially aftermidnight - then they are likely to be nasty lil buggers!