Help! Can't keep up

[Krysaliss]

If anyone has any ideas for me they would be much appreciated. My fiance has a very high sex drive. That doesn't suprise me, he is 19 and lost his virginity to me.....so all this is new to him.

I am having sex with him and giving him blowjobs usually twice a day. If he doesn't get that much at least he get very very sad. Which makes him feel even WORSE because then I feel sad and it's a vicious cycle.

I have children and finding the time for that much sex is QUITE a challenge.

My sex drive is much lower than his. I would be fine for great sex every few days......sometimes I can't seem to get into sex, no matter how hard I try I just can't relax and go with the flow. It's like I am fighting it.....but I don't want to be.

My question is, how can he cope with the days I just CAN NOT get into sex, and how can I increase my sex drive (I used to have a HUGE sex drive, like 4 times a day!) to be a little closer to his.

Thanks,
Krysaliss

 

[ChainedEros]

Interesting situation.

He's your fiance at 19 years old.

He lost his virginity to you.

You have kids.

And ... you can't keep up with him sexually.

Interesting.

Well, dear, I don't know if I can give you any pointers on dealing with the difference in your libidos.

There is something that I want you to seriously think about though. First, he's nineteen years old. Secondly, you have children. Thirdly, it seems to me that this sexual ... situation ... may add some stress to your relationship. What I want you to consider is the impact a serious conflict will have on your relationship and the children. Whatever you choose to do, think about everyone involved and do what's best for everyone.

Sometimes giving up the relationship may be best for everyone involved. I'm not suggesting that is the answer. Just putting my two cents on your mind ...

 

[Krysaliss]

In all respects a quite amazingly wonderful situation for all involved, actually.

We have been friends for a LONG time, he loves my children and vice versa.

We are quite happy with all aspects of our relationship. Including the sex. It would just be nice to have a similiar drive.

The relationship will stay, thanks.

 

[deliciously_naughty]

tell him you're fine with him jerking off and encourage him to do it. Ask him to respect that your sex drive isn't as high...he doesn't have any right to make you feel bad about it. Lastly, tell him that no man every died from not getting as much sex as he wanted (or woman for that matter).

 

[Chicklet]

here's an idea that might excite him:

have him jerk off for you. Watch him. Encourage him. Give him dirty talk. Sort of take the roll as the dominant one, having him give himself pleasure as a relief to you. It might work.

Chicklet

 

[Lust Engine]

here's an idea that might excite him:

have him jerk off for you. Watch him. Encourage him. Give him dirty talk. Sort of take the roll as the dominant one, having him give himself pleasure as a relief to you. It might work.

Chicklet

Chicklet might be onto something here.

Admittedly it is pretty hot to be encouraged in such a way but you have to re-assure him that you think it's way hot & perfectly okay for him to do it. Talk to him very openly & honestly.

 

[Krysaliss]

here's an idea that might excite him:

have him jerk off for you. Watch him. Encourage him. Give him dirty talk. Sort of take the roll as the dominant one, having him give himself pleasure as a relief to you. It might work.

Chicklet

I have done that a few times. It helped. I am currently dealing with a medical condition that is PROBABLY but not definately fibroids and sometimes sex just HURTS. We used that as an alternative.

He is very cool about it and NEVER pushes it if I am not into sex at the moment. He was drugged for most of his life (like Ridalin and similiar drugs) and has decided to live without them for awhile and it has been an interesting transistion. There are somethings he reacts to more than he should (like a lack of sex.....and sometimes odd things like puppy comercials but he isn't harsh to me about it at all.

Thanks much for advice given.

Krysaliss