Hello from London!

[AlliaPotestas]

You see now I’m worried about coming across as prudish and having to fight the urge to reassure that I like it in sex play. It’s not necessary to say that but I feel the need to say it anyway. Social conditioning is a fucking cunt - I found myself in a situation last night I didn’t want but went along with for some reason I don’t really understand... the need to be considered sexy ? To be polite? To not be disappointing? In many ways it was like other interactions I’ve had in cyberland but for some reason I can’t get my blasé on about it.

Like lots of people here in Lit I don’t have much intimacy in my real life and therefore cyber connections take on more significance than they should.

And now I’m crying on the fucking train so it’s obviously shaping up to be a great day

Respond properly when I can - just running into a meeting. I think a lot of the men here (and I think the gents in this thread are properly the exception) are very much wam bam thank you mam, they don’t consider the emotional impact maybe as much. Someone did that to me early on and was mortified when I told him I cried myself to sleep after - he remains a good friend but strictly in the friend camp, he just didn’t think - he was trying to get his rocks off...

That’s a rubbish response - anyway it’s not you it’s them,

 

[MrDevereaux]

You see now I’m worried about coming across as prudish and having to fight the urge to reassure that I like it in sex play. It’s not necessary to say that but I feel the need to say it anyway. Social conditioning is a fucking cunt - I found myself in a situation last night I didn’t want but went along with for some reason I don’t really understand... the need to be considered sexy ? To be polite? To not be disappointing? In many ways it was like other interactions I’ve had in cyberland but for some reason I can’t get my blasé on about it.

Like lots of people here in Lit I don’t have much intimacy in my real life and therefore cyber connections take on more significance than they should.

And now I’m crying on the fucking train so it’s obviously shaping up to be a great day

SL: I get what you are trying to say. Sending fuzzies for the train ride.

 

[MrDevereaux]

You don’t come across as a prude. I can’t imagine the kind of person who wants to be degraded when going about their daily business. I read about innumerable women that are fed up of catcalls, of the times when some knuckle dragged has shouted abuse at them for inane reasons. It speaks more about the person using the term than it does who it is directed at.

 

[where_is_RUTH]

To the world

Relationships take time (real or cyber)

Cyber is often selfish.

Nuance is lost without inflection

(But still - sorry for the times when the clock runs out, or I was just a wanker)

 

[where_is_RUTH]

It's amazing when you receive a smile. X

 

[MrDevereaux]

Relationships take time (real or cyber)

Cyber is often selfish.

Nuance is lost without inflection

(But still - sorry for the times when the clock runs out, or I was just a wanker)

^^^ what he said.

 

[AlliaPotestas]

You see now I’m worried about coming across as prudish and having to fight the urge to reassure that I like it in sex play. It’s not necessary to say that but I feel the need to say it anyway. Social conditioning is a fucking cunt - I found myself in a situation last night I didn’t want but went along with for some reason I don’t really understand... the need to be considered sexy ? To be polite? To not be disappointing? In many ways it was like other interactions I’ve had in cyberland but for some reason I can’t get my blasé on about it.

Like lots of people here in Lit I don’t have much intimacy in my real life and therefore cyber connections take on more significance than they should.

And now I’m crying on the fucking train so it’s obviously shaping up to be a great day

So things...

Don’t underestimate how predatory some men can be on here... it caught me off guard, I had a nice chit chatty thing early on and quickly got to a point where I felt very uncomfortable but had difficulty saying so. Looking back, I don’t think it’s overkill to describe it as a form of grooming... no one comes out with the weird stuff up front, they gain your trust, appear entirely reasonable and then introduce something you are uncomfortable with in a way that seems entirely perfectly rational so you feel prudish saying no. I’ve mentioned the crying incident, there were two others that made me very weary - in one it was entirely normal and he causally drops in that he wants me to role play his sister (I know a lot of lit wouldn’t think this weird) - he sent me actual pictures of his sister and details of life and career which freaked me out (assuming it was her), but the nature of the ‘grooming’ had me worrying I was offending him by retreating as fast as I could...

The other was a weird ‘taboo’ guy who kept the taboo very well hidden until he’d gained my trust... he was trying to get ‘first time’ fantasies out of me... I had to make him spell out what he meant...

I’ve also had men clearly trying to get off on my past abuse, they’ve tended to be obvious up front though so are easily avoided...

I suspect, like me, the idea some random bloke on a site like this could groom you would irk - these things should not happen to intelligent, fully grown feminist women but they are incredibly good at it with years of experience. The truth is most of us are here in litland because real life is lacking something, it exposes a vulnerability we wouldn’t have in the real world...

I’m sorry it ended up with you in tears but it really is them not you,

 

[AngelicaS1780]

You see now I’m worried about coming across as prudish and having to fight the urge to reassure that I like it in sex play. It’s not necessary to say that but I feel the need to say it anyway. Social conditioning is a fucking cunt - I found myself in a situation last night I didn’t want but went along with for some reason I don’t really understand... the need to be considered sexy ? To be polite? To not be disappointing? In many ways it was like other interactions I’ve had in cyberland but for some reason I can’t get my blasé on about it.

Like lots of people here in Lit I don’t have much intimacy in my real life and therefore cyber connections take on more significance than they should.

And now I’m crying on the fucking train so it’s obviously shaping up to be a great day

Hugs for you, SL. You are definitely not alone in these feelings and experiences. I have definitely had experiences similar to what you and AP have described. I am currently awaiting the backlash from a post I made last night calling out a male Litster, on his own AmPics thread, because I am fucking sick and tired of watching him play the victim. Someone who lied to and disrespected me and strung along, for almost a year, a female Litster who is a good friend of mine. But, despite that, I go back and forth wondering if I should just delete the post because of the light that it might portray me in. That I will be seen as rude or overly emotional or soft for calling out someone's bullshit. That it's sour grapes on my part. Even when that person continues to reach out to other women on Lit and meet some of them in the real world.

I know that we don't know one another well, but I do admire you, SL. You are a strong, smart, sexy woman who is pursuing what you want and deserve.

 

[AlliaPotestas]

Hugs for you, SL. You are definitely not alone in these feelings and experiences. I have definitely had experiences similar to what you and AP have described. I am currently awaiting the backlash from a post I made last night calling out a male Litster, on his own AmPics thread, because I am fucking sick and tired of watching him play the victim. Someone who lied to and disrespected me and strung along, for almost a year, a female Litster who is a good friend of mine. But, despite that, I go back and forth wondering if I should just delete the post because of the light that it might portray me in. That I will be seen as rude or overly emotional or soft for calling out someone's bullshit. That it's sour grapes on my part. Even when that person continues to reach out to other women on Lit and meet some of them in the real world.

I know that we don't know one another well, but I do admire you, SL. You are a strong, smart, sexy woman who is pursuing what you want and deserve.

If there is a backlash, we got your back,

 

[Polranny]

Nick, Mr D and Self are all with you ladies. Brotherhood and sisterhood united against the stupid fuckers

 

[Diemcarpe]

Oh my..... buying popcorn for the AS-AP-SL Alliance marching forth should the need arise.

Angelica: good for you!

I think they would have quite the team behind them as they should, I would be one. I always enjoy their posts, wit, sarcasm, etc. Feeling sad and certainly concerned about SL having a cry. We are here to support each other I hope.

 

[MrDevereaux]

Nick, Mr D and Self are all with you ladies. Brotherhood and sisterhood united against the stupid fuckers

Indeed. Any form of asshattery or fuckwittery ... we can have a word

 

[newrandomperson]

While I have always been a British lurker on these boards, and have only recently started to post a bit more often, I just wanted to voice my support against any assholery on here.

 

[Cogan]

If there is a backlash, we got your back,

You can make plans in my Bat Cave (you know I have one).

https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/superhoeres1-1552558310.jpg

 

[MrDevereaux]

.............

 

[MrDevereaux]

Welcome, newrandomperson !!! I don’t always do *that* ... honest.

 

[Spiritedlady]

Aaawwww guuuyss. What are ya’ll doing to me? Thanks for all the lovely messages.( especially the lurkers... you guys need to come out more often) Look nothing hideous happened... it was a voice call too soon with someone I didn’t know because I was too tired to type and it went in a direction I didn’t want it too. I didn’t bail when I should have. So my bad...... and standards have obviously deteriorated to the point where I’m using teenage expressions like my bad.

Anyway I’m on a train again to Cornwall this time. I’m just pulling into Newton Abbot. My ticket cost me .....wait for it £25 but there’s no buffet car.

Please send tea.

 

[newrandomperson]

Welcome, newrandomperson !!! I don’t always do *that* ... honest.

Appreciated! And it sounds like it was in a good cause so it is not a problem at all

 

[Polranny]

Appreciated! And it sounds like it was in a good cause so it is not a problem at all

You're welcome indeed

 

[ReaperW]

Come across my fair share of disrespectful people and wham bam types and wonderful people too. I'm sorry that asshat hurt your friend, AS. And I'm glad to see so many lovely people that won't put up with that shit.


Curious, have any of you come across the guilty feminist podcast?

I'm a feminist, but...

But I think I might be detrimental to feminism sometimes. I feel like that example that people use to justify doing bad things to others. What do you mean you don't like being called a slut, Reaperw doesn't mind... I mean, clearly that's the example that came to mind, but times that by a thousand.

 

[Booboobear84]

Welcome female reaper

Not enough women in these parts, x

(sorry gents, I love your company but it’s kinda true... )

I don’t think you will find a straight/bi guy who would argue that (no idea on gay guys but they’re probably supportive as well

 

[AlliaPotestas]

Come across my fair share of disrespectful people and wham bam types and wonderful people too. I'm sorry that asshat hurt your friend, AS. And I'm glad to see so many lovely people that won't put up with that shit.


Curious, have any of you come across the guilty feminist podcast?

I'm a feminist, but...

But I think I might be detrimental to feminism sometimes. I feel like that example that people use to justify doing bad things to others. What do you mean you don't like being called a slut, Reaperw doesn't mind... I mean, clearly that's the example that came to mind, but times that by a thousand.

I know of the guilty feminist but never got round to listening...

I don’t buy into the idea of bad feminists really - if you stand for equality and don’t spend your time trying to tear other women down, then what you wear or how you get turned on in the bedroom is your own beeswax. When I had a bit of a spat recently, some of my kinks were turned against me - a bunch of cunts that don’t know me at all considered I didn’t have a right to argue as a feminist given some of my tumblr reblogs...

It was a bit like a red rag to me but I should have just thought it was amazeballs I triggered their tiny minds so much that they had to sniffing around my other platforms. By rights I should consider myself a bad/guilty feminist, but I refuse to...

That said, I have an article put to one side at home as a reminder to seek out a book. It’s an interview with Will Self who cites a book that changed his view on porn... he used to view it as a victimless crime until he read it (I can’t remember what it is as I made a conscious decision to not look for it yet... I fear it might be a game changer for me...)

 

[AlliaPotestas]

Come from away is amazing - go see it..

Also I am doing a public thank you to the PM’er that wanted to get close to my ‘padded’ bras... I haven’t yet told him because I still peeing my knickers on the floor... padded my arse...

 

[AngelicaS1780]

A welcome to the newly revealed lurkers and thanks to all the lovely people here who have expressed that they have my back.

 

[AlliaPotestas]

A welcome to the newly revealed lurkers and thanks to all the lovely people here who have expressed that they have my back.

I think you have an army now,