Hello from London!

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The common cormorant (or shag)
Lays eggs inside a paper bag,
The reason you will see no doubt,
Is to keep the lightning out.

But what these unobservant birds
Have failed to notice is that herds
Of wandering bears may come with buns
And steal the bags to hold the crumbs.

Plus
I promise I won't tell a soul
It fell into a glory hole
It's first experience of sex
Was when they wrung the bugger's neck
 
The common cormorant (or shag)
Lays eggs inside a paper bag,
The reason you will see no doubt,
Is to keep the lightning out.

But what these unobservant birds
Have failed to notice is that herds
Of wandering bears may come with buns
And steal the bags to hold the crumbs.

Plus
I promise I won't tell a soul
It fell into a glory hole
It's first experience of sex
Was when they wrung the bugger's neck

:heart:
 
You should see my phone pics... the amount of titty shots where I have had to crop my Clark Kent glasses out before I post... I very nearly posted eyes the other day... it was a gif of me sucking a grape (I have to entertain myself somehow) and my eyes didn’t look their little piggy selves... but I resisted... I already share too much so the sucking grape gif was also cropped...


Yes the eyes give you away, what is it about eyes, window to the soul?

And I would love to see your phone pics, is that an offer?

Morning all from a windy, and getting windier by the hour London.
 
Polranny.
Made me laugh, ode to the cormorant, got a few on the fishing lake I use, maybe we need a glory hole down there!
 
Yes the eyes give you away, what is it about eyes, window to the soul?

And I would love to see your phone pics, is that an offer?

Morning all from a windy, and getting windier by the hour London.

No you don’t but top marks for trying... ;)

Windy enough my street food lunch was cancelled... first world problems...
 
No you don’t but top marks for trying... ;)

Windy enough my street food lunch was cancelled... first world problems...


The people on the outside table next to me had the same problem on Wednesday, whole plate of salad lifted off and deposited all over the floor, shame the dogs don't like salad!

If I get another chance to ask to look at phone you won't get angry then ;)
 
I can’t compete with a chaise longue - I am sat in my very weedy garden, downloading the guardian whilst drinking tea out of a rude builders mug in my polka dot PJ bottoms... you can take the girl out of the gutter...

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The guardian has the 40 best beaches in Europe - I have not been to a single one of these...

https://www.theguardian.com/travel/...n-portugal-france-italy-greece-turkey-croatia
 
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Here’s a man mansplaining periods and tampons. He’s a fucking idiot. But I will take my uterine lining being described as juicy any day.

My favourite from the comments might be “Coffee or tampons? That's the choice? Ok, I choose coffee. He'd better hope he doesn't sit in my seat when I get off the bus...”

You’re welcome...

https://twitter.com/aisghair/status/1102701038379909120?s=21

Happy Sunday - I am half way through ironing my other half’s shirts. It’s a massive pile at least three weeks old... I possibly want to smash the iron into the wall... I won’t obviously...

I hope you lot have better plans, xx
 
Sidetrack: Why do people get squirrely over the word 'moist'

'Juicy' is also a very good word



Not wishing to pry but does OH have difficulties with an iron & ironing board?

In other news, porridge with cranberries, raisins and chapped banana demolished....and ready for.....who said 'Squirrel'? <runs off into the distance barking>

Yes - I’m a mug for doing the ironing... I wholeheartedly blame his mum. We did get into a brief habit of dropping them off at the dry cleaners to be ironed but that seems to have fallen by the wayside somehow...

Your breakfast sounds nice... I had scrambled tofu on a toasted muffin but yours sounds better...
 
Afternoon all.

Nothing better then putting on a just ironed cotton shirt, still warm and not a single crease!
The wife irons more creases in then out!
 
Hello all!

So I just run my shirts through the hot dryer, put them on hangers and let the wrinkles hang out :D
 
Afternoon all.

Nothing better then putting on a just ironed cotton shirt, still warm and not a single crease!
The wife irons more creases in then out!
On a cold day like today I'm a fella in Viyella. I can iron quicker and better than my wife but she doesn't trust me with a hot iron . She was the prototype for Ermintrude in the Magic Roundabout and since then her charisma by-pass operation has proved to be 101% successful.
 
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