Height Matters: true or false

[DLL]

Oh, absolutely DLL. But this whole thing got started when a women my body and heart were drawn to got scared of something, and started saying things that didn't have anything to do with anything. Still, when you body is stuck there wilting, you go with face value -- and it seemd that, to her, it was height that mattered.

So for that one, brief moment, it made a hell of a huge difference. (to me).

Since then the verbal masturbation has been satisfying, if not exactly sustaining... Just, you know, some of us were composition majors in college, so... well...

Hey, BeachGurl -- maybe we ARE being told to shut up!

OK, OK, DLL I take the hint, and will go find a hot date.

 

[OceanGoddess]

I think I have to go at this idea with some indirection. Or just just get out of the words... need a silent meditation: two hours without speaking, without clothing, and you know you have to pace yourselves, not end up just sitting there like lumps or sleeping it off... imagine playing with those taking/receiving energies without resorting to these impoverished sounds and scratches...

Is this another research center project? Jeez, I'm already volunteering for so much research here lately, but this is such an important project . . .

 

[lonelyinsnowlan]

I am enjoying this discussion quite a lot, also, when I'm not trying to read through wet eyes . . .but be that as it may . . .does anyone think this is why assertive, strong, smart women often end up alone? Because men don't find them to need "taking care of/protecting?" Or they end up with unassertive, quiet men? Hmmmm.

I think the growing indepence of individuals has led to many of us, male and female, being alone. I think society still has a negative impression of single females over 30-35- "Old Maid" syndrome, but we don't make a big deal of single men of the same age.

People got married in my parents' generation and before because they needed each other to make it- a woman to watch the kids, a man to bring home the salary. Our society has progressed beyond said stereotypes and it's left us having to redefine the WHY of getting married/staying together.
Now, it's because of love, or so some of would hope. Thus, much more complication.

I would like to think, as BeachGurl has pointed out in her own life, we all have dimensions of passive and assertive and these play into different areas of our lives. I'm independent and assertive at work, but I let the man take care of me when I'm in a relationship.

 

[BeachGurl2]

Hey, BeachGurl -- maybe we ARE being told to shut up!

OK, OK, DLL I take the hint, and will go find a hot date.

Hmmm. Guess you're right. *bedroom's empty, kid's in bed, hmmm, where to find a hot date?*

I'll hold off on responding to your most recent ponderings then . . .

some of us, in fact, DID major in English

 

[it_matters]

Hmmm. Guess you're right. *bedroom's empty, kid's in bed, hmmm, where to find a hot date?*

I'll hold off on responding to your most recent ponderings then . . .

some of us, in fact, DID major in English

Oh, don't hold off. I'm not finding a hot date that fast. The last one I approached resulted in this fucking thread. Har har.

Yes, and can we guess which ones by the length of posts in certain forums...?

 

[it_matters]

Is this another research center project? Jeez, I'm already volunteering for so much research here lately, but this is such an important project . . .

Yeah, but the volunteer coordinator, instead of doing his work, just sits around typing and whining and sighing. pathetic. but i have been assured that he does take very very careful note of volunteer registrations

 

[BigJim68]

Just my 2 cents

As a man who is 6'8", hieght does matter to women. I never dated in HS because I was too tall. I always got the look that whomever I was interested in didn't want to be with the tall freak. lol.

I only say that now because I have found plenty of women who like (or liked) my hieght. Plus as women get older they start to hear things..lol...and who am I to turn down their requests to prove a point?

 

[BeachGurl2]

Hm, see, that is why I visit the Lit forums... "submissives hold the true power: to submit or not to submit."

But you are talking about the real Dance here... which is exactly what I am talking about as well, even if the words (we only have two of them, after all!) are not very useful to tune the nuances. If the submissive is choosing to submit, and the partner is respecting it, then the one who has been given control is almost (figuratively) kneeling before the other, and holding them up as the goddess (or god). If it is the true Dance, then there is no other response to that size of a gift, to be given a self and honored with that much opening, than to bow down -- you become the tinder, and your submissive partner the match, they pour to you so that you fill to overflowing, then rise up over, around, into the partner to fill them up...

Delicious. I had a friend who was willing... once... but I wasn't strong enough in myself to accept the role of receiver. Interesting, beautiful Dance. (Think I would be able to now, tho, hmmmm).

Dunno, these words are too charged to be useful. "Submission" is this activity with ground rules we keep getting caught in, while I want the word to refer to the act of negation of self -- a FAR FAR cry from the submissiveness I think you were talking about, and which I described lovingly above.

Okay, then. I'll jump in with both feet again.

I think that learning about D/s relationships on lit, or any other forum like it, CAN be harmful, if that's the only place one learns about it. There are many here who don't understand the concept in real life, only in cyberspace. No matter what, there is a huge difference between some cyber relationship and the real thing. So sure, make your ground rules, discuss ad nauseum what you will and won't do. But ultimately, I think it very much should come out of exactly what you describe above. Mutual trust, respect, confidence, and yes, deeper emotions. Big difference between playing at submission and submitting out of those incredible emotions you describe. (Cyber D/s people please don't attack that. It's just my opinion, after all. If it works for you, great.)

And thus your statement about not being strong enough in yourself to have done that at an earlier point in your life. I think it takes a deep understanding of self to truly submit/surrender to that degree to another person. Or to accept someone's submission/surrender. (Now you've even got me using a new word. ) At that point, it stops being about sex and becomes something else entirely. Yes, of course, the sex is a huge part of it, but something deeper is now involved.

So a new question now develops: Do those physical trappings (attributes, whatever you want to call them) affect the ability to get to this point? Am I less likely to fully submit/surrender to someone because he is not significantly larger than I am? Are you less likely to accept the submission/surrender of a woman who is your size or larger? When you get to that point in the relationship, does size truly matter? And do you truly want a woman who is your size or larger to fully submit/surrender to you or do you prefer that she remain an equal? (Okay, enough of the word bullshit there. From now on, I'm just going to use submit and we both know what I'm talking about.)

I like your idea of a beer, the sunset, and some great tunes

 

[it_matters]

Okay, then. I'll jump in with both feet again.

I think that learning about D/s relationships on lit, or any other forum like it, CAN be harmful, if that's the only place one learns about it. There are many here who don't understand the concept in real life, only in cyberspace. No matter what, there is a huge difference between some cyber relationship and the real thing. So sure, make your ground rules, discuss ad nauseum what you will and won't do. But ultimately, I think it very much should come out of exactly what you describe above. Mutual trust, respect, confidence, and yes, deeper emotions. Big difference between playing at submission and submitting out of those incredible emotions you describe. (Cyber D/s people please don't attack that. It's just my opinion, after all. If it works for you, great.)

And thus your statement about not being strong enough in yourself to have done that at an earlier point in your life. I think it takes a deep understanding of self to truly submit/surrender to that degree to another person. Or to accept someone's submission/surrender. (Now you've even got me using a new word. ) At that point, it stops being about sex and becomes something else entirely. Yes, of course, the sex is a huge part of it, but something deeper is now involved.

So a new question now develops: Do those physical trappings (attributes, whatever you want to call them) affect the ability to get to this point? Am I less likely to fully submit/surrender to someone because he is not significantly larger than I am? Are you less likely to accept the submission/surrender of a woman who is your size or larger? When you get to that point in the relationship, does size truly matter? And do you truly want a woman who is your size or larger to fully submit/surrender to you or do you prefer that she remain an equal? (Okay, enough of the word bullshit there. From now on, I'm just going to use submit and we both know what I'm talking about.)

I like your idea of a beer, the sunset, and some great tunes

And here I'll quite playing devil's advocate with the friggin' height thing, and let the muse of post#1 fade into hormonal history. I could give a shit about the physical attributes: it is exactly and ONLY the surrender (I use my word, you use yours, meaning the same thing) that matters. I don't mind being receiver or surrenderer, but personally I need to practice my Man a bit more, being such a good sensitive guy for so long.... I don't want an equal, I did that thing. Men and women are NOT equal, thank god. Play with the energies that are, do not ignore my real physical strength in the equation, nor ignore her beautiful, different, physical strength.

A great topic for another thread: gender roles! Let the genders roll!

 

[BeachGurl2]

And here I'll quite playing devil's advocate with the friggin' height thing, and let the muse of post#1 fade into hormonal history. I could give a shit about the physical attributes: it is exactly and ONLY the surrender (I use my word, you use yours, meaning the same thing) that matters. I don't mind being receiver or surrenderer, but personally I need to practice my Man a bit more, being such a good sensitive guy for so long.... I don't want an equal, I did that thing. Men and women are NOT equal, thank god. Play with the energies that are, do not ignore my real physical strength in the equation, nor ignore her beautiful, different, physical strength.

A great topic for another thread: gender roles! Let the genders roll!

I agree. Men and women aren't equal. We each have our own abilities - strengths and weaknesses. As long as we keep saying EQUAL, we'll continue having the problems we have. But you said another thread . . .

So I will look for the new thread and visit you there to discuss them.

 

[it_matters]

I agree. Men and women aren't equal. We each have our own abilities - strengths and weaknesses. As long as we keep saying EQUAL, we'll continue having the problems we have. But you said another thread . . .

So I will look for the new thread and visit you there to discuss them.

no, i am worded out - unbelievable as that may seem. I think that should be the Man/Woman Practicum.

Wow, I have two virtual research centers and a virtual study group going now... hmm hmm hmm. I think I had better start structuring things better, or I'll be known as the wolf who cried boy.

 

[BeachGurl2]

no, i am worded out - unbelievable as that may seem. I think that should be the Man/Woman Practicum.

Wow, I have two virtual research centers and a virtual study group going now... hmm hmm hmm. I think I had better start structuring things better, or I'll be known as the wolf who cried boy.

Okay, fair enough. Would love to be part of either. And I'll be sure to keep my eyes peeled for your next philosophical wanderings. Thanks for the chat.

 

[Valia]

no does not mateer ...but anyway am not too tall so all men are taller them me

 

[ellediablo]

OK, so the woman seems to like a lot of things about me, except we are the same height. Or am I reading her wrong?

It has been said (by someone who said she was wiser than me, and since she made a lot more money, she might have been) that for the relationship to work the man (usually) or the dominant partner needs to be taller. Equality doesn't cut it.

True or false? Do I need to get on the rack to attract and keep this woman? Since racks are out of fashion these days, am I out of luck?

I am about 5' 2 1/2", which is short, I know...
I swing both ways in regard to a man's height...

I love it when a man is tall, tall...and I have to look way up and-
I love it when he is short...eye-to-eye is nice for many things. A little taller than me but, short by today's standards.

Height should not matter...
It's the man that counts - not how tall or short he is.