Heartache 101

[FloggingMolly]

Glad you mentioned it Lizzie, I've been wondering for a while f it is actually DGE in the pic (as with the old shirtless one).

And I'll miss you kiddo, but hope you get things sorted. And I never assumed there was any blame. This stuff sucks all round.

 

[neci]

it's amazing what a little bit of time followed by a genuine, heart felt conversation will do. this forum has been a safe place for both of us in different ways. i'm glad it's not going anywhere.


chy - when i posted the other day, i had been drinking and plotting demise. i'm glad that you have been there to lend an ear. i was angry, because i knew it couldn't be me. thank you.

 

[the captians wench]

*huggles everyone* mostly cause I just don't deal well with icky feelings

 

[chy_girl]

it's amazing what a little bit of time followed by a genuine, heart felt conversation will do. this forum has been a safe place for both of us in different ways. i'm glad it's not going anywhere.


chy - when i posted the other day, i had been drinking and plotting demise. i'm glad that you have been there to lend an ear. i was angry, because i knew it couldn't be me. thank you.

I understand, luv. Probably more than you know. Especially after the last six weeks or so.

*huggles everyone* mostly cause I just don't deal well with icky feelings

*cuddles wenchie and offers her a cookie*

 

[notalwaysweak]

Oh boy, now I see why you needed that line out of my post in the letters thread.



I hope the hurting hurts less soon. (I have to admit that Midori and pineapple margaritas help, or at least they helped me.)

 

[chy_girl]

If you *are* going, please leave your av behind...

Regards

Lizzie's tongue.

Glad you mentioned it Lizzie, I've been wondering for a while f it is actually DGE in the pic (as with the old shirtless one).

That is DGE in the pic. He has a few like that that he uses for his av. And they're all really good. I have to admit that I'm partial the the one with the forest backdrop, though. It's still a favorite, by far.

 

[FloggingMolly]

Shoulda saved them while you had the chance!

 

[chy_girl]

Shoulda saved them while you had the chance!

Nah, he'll be back. It's a really good series though. I was surprised that he did it himself (photography included) simply based on the artistic quality. The man has talent, I'll give him that.

 

[FloggingMolly]

Why is it that he was quiet a while, and that was fine, but now he's definately not around I really miss his replies?

 

[chy_girl]

Why is it that he was quiet a while, and that was fine, but now he's definately not around I really miss his replies?

I'm not sure of the specifics but I do know he's... been presented with the opportunity for personal growth. So to speak.

I miss him too.

 

[rekane]

*******

 

[chy_girl]

My apologies for bringing this thread back up, I know it is painful to the OP and whoever else is involved.
I really wish all parties well.

But I need some help plotting some painful experiences.

So far I have "fuck with him on facebook" which seems a little lame.
Ugly messages sent to his work email?
Outing him on something?

These things are not demise-ish enough.
And I know they will only make me look bad.

Must let go, must let go, must let go.
In the meantime, though, thinking about some evil vindictive plot would help.

I just run through delightfully mean scenarios in my head. I like to think of all the wonderful things I could say in a room full of the perfect audience. And then I go clean the kitchen. Plotting isn't the same as implementing and I've enough karma on my own without sneaking up and hitting it with a water balloon.

My happiest thought right now, though... running into personX at a meeting, being asked to talk, giving personX a level and appraising full body, up and down glance before looking personX directly in the eye and saying "I see nothing worth discussing," and turning to walk away.

Of course my country girl side has her own ideas of the best way for that to play out but I'm not entirely convinced that the possible assault charge would be worth the reputation of being known as the quiet, shy, demure submissive who broke her ex-PYL's nose for being an asshat. Almost, but not entirely...

 

[rekane]

*******

 

[NomadLady]

Heartache 102

+1 to the heartache of the month club....

It's amazing that you really can't stop yourself from falling in love......the person you're in love with becomes your best friend/lover/confidant/hell your everything then by the time you realize you've fallen and start getting comfortable about being in love, something happens and.........its gone.

Like I really don't have enough on my plate to have to tackle a broken heart at the same time. DAMN!!!!!

 

[rekane]

*******

 

[NomadLady]

Pull up a chair, sister.
I would gladly welcome you, but I am honestly sad for you that you are here.
Care for some Ben & Jerry's with a vodka chaser? Or vice versa?

Thanks rekane but the one thing I can't do when I'm this upset is eat. Now that vodka chaser is another story.....just one though!!!!!

 

[chy_girl]

Thanks rekane but the one thing I can't do when I'm this upset is eat. Now that vodka chaser is another story.....just one though!!!!!

You can have my vodka, I'll take your ice cream.

Then we can sit around and think of sadistic things to do to the bastard.

 

[NomadLady]

You can have my vodka, I'll take your ice cream.

Then we can sit around and think of sadistic things to do to the bastard.

Thanks chy...I will take you up on that. I've never been good at revenge though....I might need a little help.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

You know, maybe it's a coincidence, but there's just a lot of pain going around. It's almost like a flu outbreak. Maybe they should start mapping it on the Weather Channel.

Maybe it's the winter blahs. Maybe it's the moon. Maybe it's John Boehner.

I'm really sorry, rekane, NL and chy. I'm sorry you have to go through the stuff you're going through. You're all swell, and when I get the magic pill, I will fedex you each one. I wish I had more to offer, frankly.

But I have learned two things over the past few weeks. Two ultimate truths, borne of pain and hardened in the volcanic fires of the human heart. Both of these I will share with you now:

a) Life is filled with robust, ultimately-rewarding learning experiences, and if we are open to them like fertile, firescorched spring meadows, wildflowers will bloom there again, and we can all become wiser and better people, reaching toward the sun.

b) Robust learning experiences suck FUCKING ASS, and they can lie down on a steaming fucking DUNGHEAP while I beat the living SHIT out of them with a giant rusty chain and then pour acid into their bloody pulpy learning experience wounds, and scream in their faces, call them my motherfucking bitches and make them whimper in fucking fear! They deserve to have their spleens ripped out and eaten with a nice Pinot Noir.

"Learning experiences." Fuck you, learning experiences!!

See? Now don't you find my wisdom as piercing, clean and true as a crystal mountain stream? Don't you feel better now?

 

[CutieMouse]

You know, maybe it's a coincidence, but there's just a lot of pain going around. It's almost like a flu outbreak. Maybe they should start mapping it on the Weather Channel.

Maybe it's the winter blahs. Maybe it's the moon. Maybe it's John Boehner.

I'm really sorry, rekane, NL and chy. I'm sorry you have to go through the stuff you're going through. You're all swell, and when I get the magic pill, I will fedex you each one. I wish I had more to offer, frankly.

But I have learned two things over the past few weeks. Two ultimate truths, borne of pain and hardened in the volcanic fires of the human heart. Both of these I will share with you now:

a) Life is filled with robust, ultimately-rewarding learning experiences, and if we are open to them like fertile, firescorched spring meadows, wildflowers will bloom there again, and we can all become wiser and better people, reaching toward the sun.

b) Robust learning experiences suck FUCKING ASS, and they can lie down on a steaming fucking DUNGHEAP while I beat the living SHIT out of them with a giant rusty chain and then pour acid into their bloody pulpy learning experience wounds, and scream in their faces, call them my motherfucking bitches and make them whimper in fucking fear! They deserve to have their spleens ripped out and eaten with a nice Pinot Noir.

"Learning experiences." Fuck you, learning experiences!!

See? Now don't you find my wisdom as piercing, clean and true as a crystal mountain stream? Don't you feel better now?

[random blurtyness]

I wholeheartedly agree with point b). (Says the woman who is on CutieMouse version 6.1 at this point... )

the weird thing is that I walked away cold turkey from a toxic-complicated-love-thing like 18 months[?] ago. And every once in a blue moon I still miss what I thought the relationship was. Like to the point of making a random phone call, or sending an unexpected email or something. But then I remind myself of all the ways I allowed that toxic-whateveritwas to destroy bits and pieces of who I am and it pisses me off enough to simply keep moving forward. LOL [Even though that forwardness feels quite lonely these days...]

[/random blurtyness]

 

[NomadLady]

I agree DGE, especially with part B.....

What irritates me about this the most is that I told this person I wasn't looking for anything but NSA FUN. That lasted about a month and he was busting a gut to tell me he loved me. I told him the "L" word had been removed from my vocabulary during my divorce and it wasn't an option. But like some tiny little man with a hammer and chisel he just kept on, and on, and on at my heart because he said that he knew I had the "L" word in me and he was going to be the recipient of said "L" word.

Well....ya know...sometimes you just can't tell your heart NO and you let down those walls, and those guards and you fall in love. The flip side is you never know how long it will last and when it's over you just sit there like you were run over by a freight train saying "WTF HAPPENED"...like I am now.

I'd love to just kick the shit out of that little man and stick his hammer and chisel where the sun doesn't EVER shine....

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

[random blurtyness]

I wholeheartedly agree with point b). (Says the woman who is on CutieMouse version 6.1 at this point... )

All truths are equal, but some truths are more equal than others.

 

[chy_girl]

I agree. A lot. To it all.

Mine is less a train wreck as it is watching the Challenger go up on one side while almost simultaneously watching the Titanic go down on the other. The train wreck would be the one bridging the Challenger and the Titanic and is, very thankfully, not my box.

Now all I have to do is find plans for Saturday.

 

[Setanta84]

My turn at this has occupied the last few years of my life. In 2007, I was a few years into the grief of dealing with another kind of loss and thought a change of pace by traveling abroad would help. I ended up meeting this girl from my city on the trip...

She was funny, smart, and hot. We had a lot in common and--for some reason--both of us felt comfortable just opening up to each other days after meeting. Because of that, she ended up being the first person I really talked to about the other loss.

And then, halfway into the trip, I was notified that there was a family emergency back home but couldn't leave. So, I thought the girl was just going to figure out that I was a bag of problems and end our little thing. But she didn't. She took me aside and told me that she cared about me and wanted to be there for me. In short, we did a lot of bonding over a very short period of time.

When we got back to the states, it turned out she had her own problems. She lost friends easily, had behavioral problems, and had clinical depression with suicidal ideation. These were all clear red flags. But I was in my early 20s, cared about her, and thought that it would be both unbearable and dickish to part ways when she had stuck by me after realizing I had a less than ideal life.

It quickly devolved into a toxic/codependent type of relationship. Really, really high and brief peaks and long, sustained valleys. We seemed to part ways angrily and reunite about once a month. During that time, however, we did meet both sets of parents, go to family events, and the like.

A year into that, we did finally part ways and she went to one end of the States and I went to the other. But we still occasionally kept in contact. About a year ago, we met up again, both of us seemed to change over the course of the year and I thought we might give it another go.

She, eh, hadn't really changed all that much and we fell out of contact a few weeks ago. I'm beginning to accept that things with her are just not going to work out. But there is a part of me that just doesn't want to let her go... it's hard sharing so many intimate things with a person and then just cutting things off. At the same time, it's fairly obvious to me that I can't handle being platonic friends with her either, which makes this time around more confusing than sad.

 

[rekane]

******