Heartache 101

[BiBunny]

1.) Drink.
2.) Plot his demise.
3.) Drink more, this time with friends.
4.) Collaborate on painful ways he can meet his demise.
5.) Drink more.
6.) Pass out.

Etc., etc., etc.

 

[YourCaptor]

Get busy, use the fuel to do something productive.

 

[chy_girl]

1.) Drink.
2.) Plot his demise.
3.) Drink more, this time with friends.
4.) Collaborate on painful ways he can meet his demise.
5.) Drink more.
6.) Pass out.

Etc., etc., etc.

See Bunny, you're much better person than I. When plotting revenge I tend to keep in mind that death is a release, therefore one must plot the systematic destruction of one's foe up to but not including death.

Not that I ever carry any of the plans out, but the thoughts do help on occasion.

 

[DVS]

I forgot to mention smashing. Especially things that make a good smashy noise.

Note: Don't forget eye protection.

This is good. Although, you have to make sure you don't break anything you want to keep around. Losing something expensive or with sentimental attachment only makes things worse. But the endorphins it produces is very satisfying and the aggressions you get out produce more endorphins. It's a win-win thing.

I once saw a story about an Asian population that actually paid money to go to this place and break dishes. It was a simple place, kind of like a carnival game, but you purchased a stack of plates and then threw them against a wall...with extreme pregidous. Everybody who did this said they felt better afterwords...it was freeing for their spirit.

I'm sorry. I always clean when I'm pissed or upset. I get downright OCD, on my knees with a toothbrush going around the edges of everything until it's spotless and shining.

While I don't clean with OCD, it is good to get mentally absorbed in something. It could be something you wouldn't normally do. Now could be the time to learn a foreign language, take up painting or maybe get involved in a charity.

The idea behind this is idol time is time spent dwelling on things. These things you can't change, so why dwell on them? Instead, take this time to be productive. Get involved in life. It's still there.

I thought I'd share something with you that nobody else knows about me. I don't want you to tell anyone else about this, because, well...once you know, you'll understand.

OK, here goes. Everybody thinks I'm this manly guy with devious ideas about tormenting the female body, in unusual and nasty ways. Well, actually, many assume the word nasty doesn't cover it. Of course, I've let this go for a long time, because I have benefited from it. The stories I write are based on M/f settings, and I've had minor success in that area.

But the truth is...wait a minute....maybe you should sit down, for this. Sitting?
OK. I'm not a guy at all. No, I'm actually a female. And I'm actually a submissive female, too. I trust you won't speak of this to anyone, because it would seriously damage the image I have on this site. I enjoy being a male Dom, even though I'm really not one. I love the escapism of it, being something I'm not. OK, so now you know.

Of course, the above isn't true, but didn't it get your mind on something else for a few minutes? What? You always knew what about me? No, I was only kidding. Really. I'm a dude! Trust me. Read one of my stories. Could a female submissive write something like that? God, what have I started? I hope you're happy, now.

 

[neci]

I liked to plot revenge in my head and think of all the delightfully wicked and mean things I could say to really hit where it hurts.

you're really good at this chy.


DGE - thanks for making it public. you always knew that was the one thing that bothered me the most.

 

[ImOnIt]

you're really good at this chy.


DGE - thanks for making it public. you always knew that was the one thing that bothered me the most.

Yeah well if you broke up then you have no claim to be bothered. This is an advice thread. None of the particulars to this breakup are anyones business, and it will stay that way as long as they are not mentioned.

 

[BiBunny]

See Bunny, you're much better person than I. When plotting revenge I tend to keep in mind that death is a release, therefore one must plot the systematic destruction of one's foe up to but not including death.

Not that I ever carry any of the plans out, but the thoughts do help on occasion.

I probably should've said "downfall" instead of "demise." It can then be construed as either a miserable life or a slow and painful death, depending on what kind of mood I happen to be in.

 

[neci]

Yeah well if you broke up then you have no claim to be bothered. This is an advice thread. None of the particulars to this breakup are anyones business, and it will stay that way as long as they are not mentioned.

if i'm bothered, i know it's my own shit. i claim it as mine.

i'm not saying anything else. don't worry. i'll leave everyone to their advice giving. good bye.

 

[chy_girl]

you're really good at this chy.


DGE - thanks for making it public. you always knew that was the one thing that bothered me the most.

Given the fact that there are MAYBE five people who were aware of the extent of my own break up, the subsequent emotional hell I went through, and the struggle since... You're damned right. I did get good at letting my imagination run wild on everything I wanted to say to MY EX-PARTNER to make them hurt just as badly as they made me hurt. Guess what? I didn't. I sucked it up, I had reasonable and adult conversations, I took responsibility and was accountable for my own shit and I held my head up and did everything I could to conduct myself just like they taught me - with grace and fucking dignity.

I understand that you're hurting, too. I understand that this is hard on you, too. I understand that when someone is hurt and angry that the easiest pot-shots are the ones most quickly taken. That being said, DO NOT drag me into your shit hole little girl! I didn't do, I didn't cause it, and I am NOT responsible for it.

And just as an FYI - If you take a look back, your name never entered into it. For all anyone knew he could have been referring to a girl who lives down the block from him.

 

[neci]

Given the fact that there are MAYBE five people who were aware of the extent of my own break up, the subsequent emotional hell I went through, and the struggle since... You're damned right. I did get good at letting my imagination run wild on everything I wanted to say to MY EX-PARTNER to make them hurt just as badly as they made me hurt. Guess what? I didn't. I sucked it up, I had reasonable and adult conversations, I took responsibility and was accountable for my own shit and I held my head up and did everything I could to conduct myself just like they taught me - with grace and fucking dignity.

I understand that you're hurting, too. I understand that this is hard on you, too. I understand that when someone is hurt and angry that the easiest pot-shots are the ones most quickly taken. That being said, DO NOT drag me into your shit hole little girl! I didn't do, I didn't cause it, and I am NOT responsible for it.

And just as an FYI - If you take a look back, your name never entered into it. For all anyone knew he could have been referring to a girl who lives down the block from him.

i'm sorry. i am so sorry. i won't bother you again.

 

[graceanne]

While I don't clean with OCD, it is good to get mentally absorbed in something. It could be something you wouldn't normally do. Now could be the time to learn a foreign language, take up painting or maybe get involved in a charity.

The idea behind this is idol time is time spent dwelling on things. These things you can't change, so why dwell on them? Instead, take this time to be productive. Get involved in life. It's still there.

I'm not normally thinking clearly enough to do anything new. I can clean in my sleep, so it's something that keeps me busy while I'm fuming/crying/whatever.

I thought I'd share something with you that nobody else knows about me. I don't want you to tell anyone else about this, because, well...once you know, you'll understand.

OK, here goes. Everybody thinks I'm this manly guy with devious ideas about tormenting the female body, in unusual and nasty ways. Well, actually, many assume the word nasty doesn't cover it. Of course, I've let this go for a long time, because I have benefited from it. The stories I write are based on M/f settings, and I've had minor success in that area.

But the truth is...wait a minute....maybe you should sit down, for this. Sitting?
OK. I'm not a guy at all. No, I'm actually a female. And I'm actually a submissive female, too. I trust you won't speak of this to anyone, because it would seriously damage the image I have on this site. I enjoy being a male Dom, even though I'm really not one. I love the escapism of it, being something I'm not. OK, so now you know.

Old news!

Of course, the above isn't true, but didn't it get your mind on something else for a few minutes? What? You always knew what about me? No, I was only kidding. Really. I'm a dude! Trust me. Read one of my stories. Could a female submissive write something like that? God, what have I started? I hope you're happy, now.

Aw, you do the sweetest things.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

if i'm bothered, i know it's my own shit. i claim it as mine.

i'm not saying anything else. don't worry. i'll leave everyone to their advice giving. good bye.

Darl, we know you're hurting too.

A lot of this stuff, you can use as well.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Oh fuck.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

Wait. I did that yesterday, after the ball peen hammer.

I started this thread because I needed some help. I was in pain, needed advice, and my confidante was no longer an option. Everyone has been there, and this board is generous with advice and empathy (except for those who post personals in the BDSM talk section). I needed some perspective and connection regarding dealing with pain. I tried to focus it on that one area, and I am sorry that it has gotten personal.

 

[chy_girl]

Oh fuck.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

Wait. I did that yesterday, after the ball peen hammer.

I started this thread because I needed some help. I was in pain, needed advice, and my confidante was no longer an option. Everyone has been there, and this board is generous with advice and empathy (except for those who post personals in the BDSM talk section). I needed some perspective and connection regarding dealing with pain. I tried to focus it on that one area, and I am sorry that it has gotten personal.

Glue with a hammer? Dude! I thought it was supposed to be silicone spray and a hammer so you get that lube effect!?! Man, was I doing it wrong!


As for the rest, don't worry about it. We're all good - and that includes neci.

It's a damned good thread. It's one I wish had been around 38 days ago. Heart ache is universal, my friend, and it's something that we all gotta face sometime.

That being said, I do apologize for being a bit harsh with neci. I was an example of my own words and for that I am sorry. I'd just started my response to her when my own ex texted me out of the blue and wanted to be chatty for the first time in 2+ weeks. In watching my wording so very carefully with one I lost a bit of control with the other. So I do extend my apologies to neci for not softening what I had to say a bit.



So! Who has any suggestions for friendship after a break up?

 

[FloggingMolly]

The only thing I can think of that helped me in the past was getting very intimate with the guy my ex was constantly jealous and afraid of. Turns out, he was right to be worried about that guy!
Sometimes a little flirting/attenton goes a long way to resolving the self-esteem crap that usually crops up in these situations.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

1.) Drink.
2.) Plot his demise.
3.) Drink more, this time with friends.
4.) Collaborate on painful ways he can meet his demise.
5.) Drink more.
6.) Pass out.

Etc., etc., etc.

Thanks. I think I was on that trajectory this week. It helped, but I'm rethinking.

Get busy, use the fuel to do something productive.

That's what I've decided to do. There's a lot that needs productivizing.

OK, here goes. Everybody thinks I'm this manly guy with devious ideas about tormenting the female body, in unusual and nasty ways. Well, actually, many assume the word nasty doesn't cover it. Of course, I've let this go for a long time, because I have benefited from it. The stories I write are based on M/f settings, and I've had minor success in that area.

But the truth is...wait a minute....maybe you should sit down, for this. Sitting?
OK. I'm not a guy at all. No, I'm actually a female. And I'm actually a submissive female, too. I trust you won't speak of this to anyone, because it would seriously damage the image I have on this site. I enjoy being a male Dom, even though I'm really not one. I love the escapism of it, being something I'm not. OK, so now you know.

I knew it all along. And you can't take it back.

It's a damned good thread. It's one I wish had been around 38 days ago. Heart ache is universal, my friend, and it's something that we all gotta face sometime.

My hope is that maybe, something from this thread will help someone else, too. That would be a nice byproduct, huh?

The only thing I can think of that helped me in the past was getting very intimate with the guy my ex was constantly jealous and afraid of. Turns out, he was right to be worried about that guy!
Sometimes a little flirting/attenton goes a long way to resolving the self-esteem crap that usually crops up in these situations.

Thanks, mom.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I want to thank everyone for their empathy and good humor in baring their souls and offering their advice. It helped. I gave up the ball peen hammer and the flaming lint dioramas, and my head and neighbors are much happier.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

This experience has made me realize that I need to take a Lit break. Fet too. Despite the fact that I will miss everyone here for awhile. I realized that I have some stuff to work on, and it will be better accomplished Litless, at least for now.

No, no, don't try to stop me! Nope! Don't do it!

Damn. Doesn't anyone want to try to stop me?

 

[Mads]

DGE, if you're going, be safe.
Same stands for neci.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Only you can know whether you actually need a break from Lit or a break from certain memories, or what. Only you can decide.

If you decide you *do* need that break, stop in once in a while (say, once a week or so) and say, "Hey, I'm still on break, still alive, see ya briefly in a week or so!"

 

[graceanne]

This experience has made me realize that I need to take a Lit break. Fet too. Despite the fact that I will miss everyone here for awhile. I realized that I have some stuff to work on, and it will be better accomplished Litless, at least for now.

No, no, don't try to stop me! Nope! Don't do it!

Damn. Doesn't anyone want to try to stop me?

Well, if you go we'll miss you. Please check in semi routinely and let us know you're okay. Or have someone do it for you. *hugs*

 

[rida]

This experience has made me realize that I need to take a Lit break. Fet too. Despite the fact that I will miss everyone here for awhile. I realized that I have some stuff to work on, and it will be better accomplished Litless, at least for now.

No, no, don't try to stop me! Nope! Don't do it!

Damn. Doesn't anyone want to try to stop me?

Do what you have to.


And we all know that it's rarely a black and white case of clear cut fault/responsibilities when a story does not fulfill the "happy ever after" ending.

Grieve the loss, cherish the memories, learn your lessons and ... watch out for the next story!

to all that are suffering at the moment.

 

[chy_girl]

This experience has made me realize that I need to take a Lit break. Fet too. Despite the fact that I will miss everyone here for awhile. I realized that I have some stuff to work on, and it will be better accomplished Litless, at least for now.

No, no, don't try to stop me! Nope! Don't do it!

Damn. Doesn't anyone want to try to stop me?

I doubt I need to reiterate anything that has already been said. That being said, I reiterate what has already been said.

I'll miss seeing you about, I'll miss your humor and wit, and I'll miss you. You're an awesome friend, DGE - don't make yourself too awfully scarce, huh.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

If you *are* going, please leave your av behind...

Regards

Lizzie's tongue.

 

[midwestyankee]

Hope I'm not too late to the advice party.

For any and all who are suffering from the pain of breakups, I recommend the Wholesale Mental Distraction (that's WMD for the uninitiated) route. The WMD approach differs for each individual so some customized prescripting is in order.

DGE, I recommend that you spend the next six months infiltrating the Palin political camp with the sole intent of becoming her campaign manager. Then, when you begin to believe that the world will never be safe unless Sarah Palin is elected Emperor of Earth, you will realize that you have completely forgotten every love of your life.

Mission accomplished.