Hearing or Seeing?

[Guest]

Hey all!

I am finishing up a story (finally!) and had a friend read it.

It is a trashy story about a girl who has sex with boyfriend and later with boyfriend's father.

In one scene the father either just hears or hears and sees the girl and son having sex. My friend thought that him seeing them have sex crossed a line. (male friend)

The girl and son don't realize that he is present until after the fact.

So... my question is, do I just have him overhear the sex, or is it hotter for him to have seen it too? She gets off later on thinking about him watching them, but it could be just knowing he knew was enough.

Thanks for your input.

b

 

[Octavian]

I would have him only hearing them. It is also more challenging to write, Bridget.

Octavian

“Encase your majestic tree of manhood in the sublimely soft wondrous wet hallowed depths of my body,” she implored.
“Oh,” he replied, “you mean you wanna fuck!”

 

[Guest]

I don't describe the dad watching or listening.

The story is in the first person of the girl, so I more allude to it than anything.

b

 

[Krenee]

I remember seeing a foreign film with a similar scenerio. (not saying the same) i dont know what it was about,but the girl was dating the boy,but became attracted to father,at one point girl and father disappeared and the scene was from boys point of view. anyhow, the boy goes on innocent search of missing companions and stumbles on father having sex with girlfriend and watches from distance. I found this very erotic.The voyeur kinda setting.

 

[Octavian]

Then my advice is about as much use as a chocolate teapot!

Octavian

 

[Rainbow Skin]

Hearing through a closed door is easy. Accidentally leaving your door open even though you're about to have sex is much less believable.

The reverse is true if it's in the back seat of a car, or on a beach - anyone else being able to get within distance of seeing something is easier, but getting close enough to be explicit and audible should be difficult.

 

[Guest]

clarification

octavian-

i love chocolate and tea... if i drink really fast will it work?

rainbow skin-

without going into gory details, the mechanics of the story work for either/both to occur.

krenee-

thanks for the input. that is exactly the type of response i am looking for.

b

 

[gauchecritic]

As an alternative try using only one or the other.

Vision;
'Feeling his eyes searing my naked flesh as his own son seared my naked pussy with his tongue and knowing that the only sound he could hear were the ciccadas in the undergrowth made me more voluble in my urgings.'

Sound;
'My usually tiny whimpers as counterpoint to his soft lapping became urgent moans and utterances knowing his father was not overhearing but actually listening.'

Or even both but separately.

'My eyes fluttered, I drew a sharp breath as he sank his tumescence into my waiting flower, when I looked again he was gone from the window. Disappointment welled until I caught his deliberate footsteps without. My vocalisation became demonstrative until I was screaming at the top of my lungs for him to impale me with that delicious meat.
Eddie looked at me askance. "What the fuck was that about?"'

Gauche

 

[Guest]

almost

*phew*

hot stuff, gauche, but, as i stated in my first point, the girl doesn't know he is there until after the fact.

looks like you have the workings for a new story!

b

 

[Guest]

"What the fuck was that about?"

LOL!!! Gauche: and some people thought comedy and erotica could not achieve concinnity. - Purr
p.s. you have a PM and email.


Bridget: I can't add to the above, all good advice I believe. P

 

[Uther_Pendragon]

Hearing is a *lot* easier to believe. Where is he
that he can see. Why don't they see him? Why doesn't
he stop them, assuming that his son is underage?
OTOH, she could have said somethng, moaned or something.
The father then could quote it to her.

 

[wildsweetone]

Hey all!

...In one scene the father either just hears or hears and sees the girl and son having sex...

The girl and son don't realize that he is present until after the fact.

So... my question is, do I just have him overhear the sex, or is it hotter for him to have seen it too?...

b

Gidday Bridget! Hope all is well in your neck of the woods.

I have it by certain authorities that males are very visual creatures. *wicked wink* Therefore just to upset the apple cart, I reckon your story should have the father watching. *grinning*

Good luck with your choice, I know whichever you choose you'll write it great.

 

[wildsweetone]

Then my advice is about as much use as a chocolate teapot!

Octavian

I cannot help myself Octavian dear, I can think of some excellent uses for a chocolate teapot. Therefore, your advice is excellent too.

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Hearing or Seeing?

Gidday Bridget! Hope all is well in your neck of the woods.

I have it by certain authorities that males are very visual creatures. *wicked wink* Therefore just to upset the apple cart, I reckon your story should have the father watching. *grinning*

Good luck with your choice, I know whichever you choose you'll write it great.

Awww.. thanks, luv!

I am leaning towards your position.

And how did you know I've been necking in the woods?

b

 

[wildsweetone]

Re: Re: Re: Hearing or Seeing?

And how did you know I've been necking in the woods?

b

Some guy told me he saw you! lol See what I mean?

 

[Gabriel_Lee]

Definitely seeing. This is important, because seeing has a physicality that hearing does not. Seeing is believing, after all.

Also, seeing has an implied reciprocosity: people 'feel' they are being seen; being watched is more obtrusive than being heard; there is a clear, 'shared' experience, with the difficulty of denial by either party.

 

[Guest]

Gabe:

You sound particularly expert. Just saying. Perdita

p.s. is that a gun in your pocket, or did you smudge that fine leg?

 

[Gabriel_Lee]

It is not a gun, perdita. I am just pleased to see you. It is, of course, my hip flask ... care for a tipple?

 

[TheEarl]

Re: Re: Hearing or Seeing?

I have it by certain authorities that males are very visual creatures. *wicked wink*

Men (and by men, I mean of course me) are very visual creatures and IMHO I think you should have the father watching. But that's just because I'm a man and I'd identify better with the seeing. However I like sounds though; Can't you do both?

The Earl

 

[Guest]

It is not a gun, perdita. I am just pleased to see you. It is, of course, my hip flask ... care for a tipple?

Yes, please love; it's near the end of my workday here and I'd love anything you're carrying.

 

[Gabriel_Lee]

Originally posted by perdita
Yes, please love; it's near the end of my workday here and I'd love anything you're carrying.

Yes, I know ... nothing like a stiff one at the end of a busy day.

 

[Guest]

Yes, I know ... nothing like a stiff one at the end of a busy day.

Actually, in reality, really and truly LOL. You scare me though, seem like such a fragile lad per your AV. P

 

[Gabriel_Lee]

mmm ... one blow and I find it difficult holding on.

(sorry, bk, I think we digress)

 

[Guest]

Perdita blows, here lies happy Gabriel:


_____/______

 

[Guest]

input appreciated

I appreciate all the thoughtful comments.

My friend had issues with a dad watching his son have sex. The listening wasn't a big deal to him. As some of you pointed out, it is less intrusive.

There is nothing sexual going on between the son and dad, just that they both end up having sex with her at separate times.

I think I will stick with the original line and have him see and hear, unless someone has a good reason not to.

b