Head Hopping

[Whanmore]

Listening to Online writing coaches, I've learned of "Head hopping"... switching viewpoints and showing the internal emotions of multiple characters within a scene. But most examples are for non-erotica. Many erotica if not Most show both POV's. ("The pussy felt great" and then "his dick felt great") Do you think Head hopping in inhearetly needed in eritica. Have you thought of this concept?

 

[MrHereWriting]

I thought head hopping was when one guy is getting head from multiple women.

 

[StillStunned]

Head-hopping, as I understand it, is popping out of the main POV character's head and into another character's for just a moment to tell the reader something the POV character doesn't know. Often it's to describe an expression on their face, or that character's reaction to something the POV character does. For example:

Abby (POV character) flung open the door and danced into the room. Life is wonderful! she thought. Even my horrid little brother doesn't smell as bad as he usually does. Bobby (non-POV character) was surprised to see her smile at him. Abby
gave him a wave and went to the kitchen, dreaming about Craig and Davey and their big dicks.

If you consistently tell the story from multiple POV characters, skipping from one to the next, that's just an omniscient narrator. There's nothing wrong with that, but I personally don't think it's particularly suited to erotica. Or at least not the kind of erotica that draws the reader into the emotional experience. To do that, you need to stay focused on one character's thoughts and feelings at a time.

That's not to say you can't switch POV at a natural break, but within each POV's section you should stick to that one POV.

 

[AlinaX]

It can be used and can work well with erotica, with caveats. Hopping mid-paragraph is almost always bad. If you’re going to hop, don’t hop back again immediately.

 

[TheLobster]

The promulgation of the term "head hopping" is nothing but a ploy by Big Editor, to stifle the creativity of young and talented authors who are able to produce works of soaring excellence that those miserable editors couldn't even dream of writing themselves.

Okay. more seriously though...

The usual argument against dipping into the perspective of another character in the scene, other than the PoV one, is that it is confusing to the reader. For the longest time I didn't understand how this could be so, and even now I'm still unsure; but I believe it might potentially be a problem if you employ the so-called free indirect style. This is where you rely the character's thoughts verbatim, in the narration, without any adornments like "she thought", and rely on the tacit understanding between you and the reader that everything you put into the text is told from the exclusive PoV of that character.

An example of such potential confusion might be this:

Alice smiled at Bob. He winked at her conspiratorially. God, are they really doing this juvenile shit again?

That last sentence is someone's thought, and it's not entirely clear whose. If the scene was clearly from Alice's PoV, then it is presumably Alice's, so if the intention was to convey Bob's attitude then that's a confusion; and if the reader discovers this, and you do this enough times in a scene, then yeah, you're doing the kind of head hopping that's detrimental to clarity and reader's comprehension.

However, and contrary to the "best practices", there are ways of doing it correctly. Don't hop for half a sentence, or really anything shorter than a paragraph, like the two posts above suggest. Use markers such as "He couldn't believe they were doing this again juvenile shit again". And just be careful with the free indirect style in general; it is currently all the rage in the publishing world, but it's not end-all-be-all; and especially in the kind of erotica that's not just self-indulgent, self-insert fantasy, it is perfectly okay to forgo it and opt for more complete sex scenes from the perspective of both partners (the type of PoV narration which I jokingly refer to as third-person fornicative).

In other words, don't get too hung-up on what the writing coaches say. Discover what works and what doesn't yourself.

 

[StillStunned]

The usual argument against dipping into the perspective of another character in the scene, other than the PoV one, is that it is confusing to the reader.

I don't think confusion is the problem. I think the problem is that it breaks the spell of immersion. That didn't used to matter so much, but close 3P is becoming more and more immersive nowadays. If you're trying to engage the reader with your characters thoughts, sensations and feelings on a very profound level, hopping out to show an external perspective ruins the effect.

 

[TheLobster]

If you're trying to engage the reader with your characters thoughts, sensations and feelings on a very profound level, hopping out to show an external perspective ruins the effect.

Right, which is why my preferred way to deal with this potential problem is not to do the former

 

[Bramblethorn]

It can work but it's not necessarily better than focussing on a single perspective. Often the tension that makes a scene interesting comes from not knowing what the other person is thinking.

But if you are going to show both perspectives, commit to it. If a story is told 99% from one person's POV and just dips into the other person's POV once in a long while, it feels like an accident.

 

[BeechLeaf]

I read a story from a promising new writer in which the viewpoints alternated between paragraphs. It was a jolt at first, and I suppose once I realized it was consistent, I went back to the start, and then it was quite clear, and an interesting experiment; it went on for quite a while until it got to dialogue, where it felt more normal.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Head hopping in erotica is no different than head hopping in any other genre. You just have to be clear when you hop heads. Most commonly a head hop will be at a chapter break, such as chapter 1 will be from Bill's perspective, then chapter 2 will be from Alice's perspective (most famous example is Treasure Island), but you can still head hop mid scene, just put something in that first sentence of the next perspective that makes it obvious that we are in the other character's head. You can even head hop using first person PoV.

The reason that editors and coaches tell new writers to avoid it is because if it's done badly, it can be a disaster. Also, often new writers do it without noticing and it's very jarring to a reader when out of the blue we're in someone else's head for two sentences and then back to the original character.

You want to be consistent with your head hops. If you have a 10k word story and it's all from one character's perspective except for a 300 word excerpt in the middle from someone else, then the reader will be like, "what was that all about?" You want to avoid giving the reader a wtf moment like that. So either consistently head hop and give the second character 20% or 30% or 50% head time interspersed throughout the story - or don't hop at all. It's up to you. It's all in how you decide to tell the story. You decide what perspective and voice you will use for the feel and if you head hop that is all part of that feel.

 

[sirhugs]

Whether in erotica or mainstream literature, I find shifting POV confusing and distracting. I would much prefer something that uses 3P POV and sticks with it.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

Head hopping in erotica is no different than head hopping in any other genre. You just have to be clear when you hop heads. Most commonly a head hop will be at a chapter break, such as chapter 1 will be from Bill's perspective, then chapter 2 will be from Alice's perspective (most famous example is Treasure Island), but you can still head hop mid scene, just put something in that first sentence of the next perspective that makes it obvious that we are in the other character's head. You can even head hop using first person PoV.

Or a clearly denoted scene break with the character change obvious.

"I wonder if she has an idea just how good her pussy feels? I could fuck her like this for hours if she would let me."
***
"Jesus! My pussy has never felt so full and stretched before. I hope he has the stamina to fuck me like this for hours."

 

[AlinaX]

Jesus was beginning to regret asking his wife and her lover to wear headphones while they fucked.

 

[TheLobster]

Or a clearly denoted scene break with the character change obvious.

"I wonder is she has an idea just how good her pussy feels? I could fuck her like this for hours if she would let me."
***
"Jesus! My pussy has never felt so full and stretched before. I hope he has the stamina to fuck me like this for hours."

I've seen many stories where authors took this advice to heart and switched perspective ten times across a single sex scene. Like, at that point you're so much better off just going for the dirty erotica words which starts with O.

 

[SimonDoom]

The difference between head-hopping and omniscient POV is not always clear to me, but in general head-hopping is when you establish the point of view from one character and then suddenly and without warning or explanation shift to another person's POV. It's NOT merely showing more than one POV in a scene -- that may be ordinary third-person omniscient POV.

The crucial difference, to me, is whether you establish the POV clearly in the scene, and then suddenly deviate from it, confusing the reader.

This editor has a pretty decent explanation of the difference:

https://jacquelincangro.substack.com/p/head-hopping-versus-omniscient.

 

[SimonDoom]

To give an example of what I think is not head-hopping, but 3d person omnisicent, my most popular erotic story, Late Night on the Loveseat with Mom, features an encounter between a man and a woman, and throughout the story I shift from his POV to her POV, often very rapidly. I want the reader to experience what each character is thinking. The key is that I establish the pattern of shifting early on, so the reader grows accustomed to it. If from the beginning I firmly established one of the character's points of view and suddenly shifted to the other's two-thirds of the way through, that would be head-hopping, and it would probably be jarring.

I've received many comments to that story, and not one complains about head-hopping, so in that story the POV shifting doesn't seem to have bothered anyone.

 

[Husky_Embrace]

I read a story from a promising new writer in which the viewpoints alternated between paragraphs. It was a jolt at first, and I suppose once I realized it was consistent, I went back to the start, and then it was quite clear, and an interesting experiment; it went on for quite a while until it got to dialogue, where it felt more normal.

Not quite on topic, but when I write such things I try to signal a difference.

The easiest is colour, cursive or bold. These can help signify something is different.

It is best to introduce the concept earlier, so people know what to expect. Once a pink Such a big man, thought Henrietta and you can mix in her thoughts later without further confusion.

I had one story where for reasons one party was essentially doing the same (giving head), and two receiving parties were receiving on different floors of the building. I used alignment to make clear what happened to whom. In the lead up I started to write one party aligned to the right, one to the left, and the party that straddled the divide was outlined in the centre. As you've already been reading person A on the left, B on the right and C in the middle it's easier to switch between the perspectives.

I'll not say I'm an expert and this is the best practice, but for my own feeling it works pretty well.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Not quite on topic, but when I write such things I try to signal a difference.

The easiest is colour, cursive or bold. These can help signify something is different.

It is best to introduce the concept earlier, so people know what to expect. Once a pink Such a big man, thought Henrietta and you can mix in her thoughts later without further confusion.

I had one story where for reasons one party was essentially doing the same (giving head), and two receiving parties were receiving on different floors of the building. I used alignment to make clear what happened to whom. In the lead up I started to write one party aligned to the right, one to the left, and the party that straddled the divide was outlined in the centre. As you've already been reading person A on the left, B on the right and C in the middle it's easier to switch between the perspectives.

I'll not say I'm an expert and this is the best practice, but for my own feeling it works pretty well.

I never do that. I just write it out normally and clearly. It takes a little extra care but it's far more professional. It's worth it.

 

[Imstillfun]

I don’t think I could do this. I’d get confused. I did write a series called ‘The Wedding party’. It was 6 stories from the point of view of different people in the wedding party. It was interesting and hard to write the scenes that involved characters from more than one story when they all interacted. Each saw, the encounter from a different perspective.

 

[KittyOfSteele]

The only reason I ever use head hopping is when I'm stuck in my work and I need to see into the fog of war. Otherwise, I never do it.

 

[Britva415]

switching viewpoints and showing the internal emotions of multiple characters within a scene

I don't think it has anything to do with erotica vs. non-erotica. Neither is "special" in this regard. Both can be told with or without a limited perspective which would make "head hopping" problematic.

People are huge fans of first-person perspective (and voice) around here. When a first-person narrator narrates shit they can't possibly know because it's coming from between someone else's ears, that's problematic head-hopping. A third-person narrator generally has a perspective which doesn't break when they narrate multiple people's mental qualia.

 

[Imstillfun]

I’ve seen stories that have whole sections from different points of view. Usually each section has a heading of the persons name. It’s not a format I enjoy. But it does let the author write in the first person.

 

[ElectricBlue]

People are huge fans of first-person perspective (and voice) around here. When a first-person narrator narrated shot they can't possibly know because it's coming from between someone else's ears, that's problematic head-hopping. A third-person narrator generally had a perspective which doesn't break when they narrate multiple people's mental qualia.

I think you've hit the nail on the head. If you're writing a first person narrative you simply can't head hop, it'll stick out like the proverbial dog's balls.

Writing a third person narrative, it's far less problematic. You can use a simple section break schema if needed, but a recent story of mine has demonstrated to me that the mantra, don't head hop, is overstated. The story is written close third, with three protagonists, and there are frequent pov shifts. Not a single comment about that.

Using character names at the top of each section is unnecessary, and the notion of different font colour? I'd be gone from that story in an instant.

 

[anthrodisiac]

Head hopping is fine, but consider what you lose each time you do it. You're detracting every so slightly from the main POV (if you have one). First person, just don't do it, it doesn't fit with the POV style. Third person limited, also should probably not do it, but if you're strategic, that's fine. Third-person omniscient or third-person close-but-not-that-close it's probably fine.

However, the more times you jump away from a particular POV, the less you allow the reader to connect with them. A couple head hops won't do a lot of damage, but it take away a moment that could've been allocated to the POV character. Some people care about this a lot more than others (me among them, as a very, very character-focused writer), but each instance of head hopping should be done strategically, not just because, "Well, I can't think of a way to get this information to the reader." It might be a challenge, but it's doable. Really consider why you're head hopping, what purpose it serves, and if you actually need it.

God knows readers rarely care about it if it's just a couple times. The issue starts to occur when someone is trying to write a tight POV, but keeps head hopping. It defeats the purpose and each one is like a little hole in the story structure. A couple small holes isn't going to bring it down, but if it's riddled with holes, you risk structural collapse.

Erotica has a slightly different take on head hopping, but only when it comes to sex scenes. If you want to get both sides of the sex (and I see this a lot), the writer head hops like a mother (especially in T/I). Some people think it's sexier to get both sides' sensations, thoughts, and feelings, and that's a very valid use case for head hopping. However, if you're going to do that, but the rest of the story is close third, it does break some of the immersion, and again leads to taking away beats from the main POV character.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

I’ve seen stories that have whole sections from different points of view. Usually each section has a heading of the persons name. It’s not a format I enjoy. But it does let the author write in the first person.

Yea, that's the lazy way to do it.