He must be evil

[MyNecroticSnail]

File under Bathetic Moments.

It took me a darn near half hour to raise the FLAG today, seems it took me full four tries to get the stripes flappin'right and comin back from the driveway I spied a bit over at Lex's place.

Lex hain't got no flag
Lex don't drive no Ford
Lex has got a Lexus

HE MUST BE EVIL

I sure do wish we could go back
to the good ole Stars and Bars
Don't matter which way it's hung,
it's always comes out right
And Lex has colored sheets on the line
flappin' all fancy like,
just a tauntin me

Lex got colored sheets
Lex don't shop at Wall-Mart
Lex takes out Marcel Proust from the library

HE MUST BE EVIL

MAMA knows when somethin' is bothering me, so she baked me an APPLE PIE "Son," she says, (I am Mama's good ol boy) "it shouldn't bother you that Lex won the science fair again and got a scholarship to MIT, he works hard and remember he doesn't have a mother and things were tough for him once, couldn't afford groceries. You shouldn't be jealous, you work hard, too and you have special powers, don't ever forget that." I wasn't paying much attension much, just focusin' on eating the pie and thinkin'

Lex hain't got no mama
Lex hain't got no pie
Lex is goin' to MIT

HE MUST BE EVIL

MAMA always knows what to say, even if a don't pay much attension, I was just enjoyin the pie and gazing lovingly through her gingham dress with my X-Ray eyes, when she interrupts "Hurry up son, you have to do your paper route, you really have to fly now"

I saw Lex walkin' down the driveway to pick up his New York Times

THE NEW YORK TIMES
I JUST KNOWED HE WAS EVIL

so I turned on my heat vision and burned off all his hair.

Yahoo, I'm livin' large in Smallville.

 

[WickedEve]

I saw Lex walkin' down the driveway to pick up his New York Times

THE NEW YORK TIMES
I JUST KNOWED HE WAS EVIL

so I turned on my heat vision and burned off all his hair.

Serves the bastard right.

 

[cherries_on_snow]

I love the Times, but have to admit that the tabloids are easier to read on the subway. (It's an elbow room thang.)

I never buy papers anymore but pick them up leftover on the train and manage to read 3 a day anyway. I do, however, buy hand sanitizer.

 

[Tzara]

Thank God I don't drive a Lexus. I proudly drive a Ford. Well, actually a Volvo, but they're owned by Ford.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I drive a Ford, but I'm kind of embarrassed by it.

 

[Tzara]

I drive a Ford, but I'm kind of embarrassed by it.

Don't be. Their stock price needs propping up. Think of it as your little bit to help our trade imbalance with the EU.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I once saw the homeless drug-addict guy that hangout at the parking lot near school and asks for some change in return for pretending to help you find a spot reading The Financial Times. He was on a break.

(I'm embarrassed for both the contribute of my Ford to the US-EU trade balance, small as it may be, and for my Ford in itself. It's embarrassing.)

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

I was expecting another MET v MNS debacle.

 

[MyNecroticSnail]

I was expecting another MET v MNS debacle.

Nah, I believe in live and let live. Freedom to drive the car of your choice. Freedom to say what you want about someone's poetry. But not lie. One person, one vote. But not three or four times.

 

[vampiredust]

I don't drive but Ford has been closing factories over here

They suck as do most carmakers

 

[cherries_on_snow]

I don't drive but Ford has been closing factories over here

They suck as do most carmakers

Indeed. Yay for public transit.

 

[ParrotDee]

Its nice everyone has transportation.
Its real nice.

Texas and the big beater

I have a chevy on cinderblocks
sometimes I set off a bug bomb
to drive the scorpions out
I sit and breath the fumes
and God comes down to talk to me

I wish we wouldn't make me wear a sheet
and call me casper
doesn't he know who I am
but sometimes he brings women along
and the chevy falls off of the blocks

and sometimes the aliens stop by
take me up
and fix my teeth


Thats real good you put him in the cornfield, opie
Hey MET

Did Decayed Angel ever get his public apology?

 

[ParrotDee]

Nah, I believe in live and let live. Freedom to drive the car of your choice. Freedom to say what you want about someone's poetry. But not lie. One person, one vote. But not three or four times.

Freedom to apologise

 

[Never]

When I read this poem, I wonder why the author is promulgating the image of Midwestern 'hicks.' That is, that of people from certain geographic regions as being uneducated, funny talking, Christian, and jingoists.

Moreover, what does this have to do with Superman? I can understand using that character as a symbol for the bias in conservative America or American imperialism abroad - if one is of a liberal bent - but the author doesn't seem interested in a serious expression or criticism of ideologies.

Honestly, I read this and I see someone who wants to ridicule certain segments of America for its close-mindedness but ends up showing how closed their own mind is.

 

[Maria2394]

When I read this poem, I wonder why the author is promulgating the image of Midwestern 'hicks.' That is, that of people from certain geographic regions as being uneducated, funny talking, Christian, and jingoists.

Moreover, what does this have to do with Superman? I can understand using that character as a symbol for the bias in conservative America or American imperialism abroad - if one is of a liberal bent - but the author doesn't seem interested in a serious expression or criticism of ideologies.

Honestly, I read this and I see someone who wants to ridicule certain segments of America for its close-mindedness but ends up showing how closed their own mind is.

Before you call MNS close-minded

You should go to the dead mule school of literature and read the statements of Southern Legitimacy that is required ( by the poet) before a poem is posted on that site. People enjoy poking fun at themselves and theres not much wrong with someone else poking fun, unless it offends you because you are a mid-western hick, lol.

I rather enjoy his observations, even when they knowck me down a notch or ten



you should read his Mayberry poem!!!

 

[MyNecroticSnail]

When I read this poem, I wonder why the author is promulgating the image of Midwestern 'hicks.' That is, that of people from certain geographic regions as being uneducated, funny talking, Christian, and jingoists.

Moreover, what does this have to do with Superman? I can understand using that character as a symbol for the bias in conservative America or American imperialism abroad - if one is of a liberal bent - but the author doesn't seem interested in a serious expression or criticism of ideologies.

Honestly, I read this and I see someone who wants to ridicule certain segments of America for its close-mindedness but ends up showing how closed their own mind is.

Yee-haw
I done think you missed the whole point. Now if I was to go one about all geographic regions as being uneducated, funny talking,and jingoists( I must have missed Christ, where was he?) I don't think Literotica has enough bandwidth. This was a "communication" to a certain audience about a certain funny-talkin jingoist that is dismissive of education. This is about wrapping your ass in the flag, motherhood, whatever. No American has any more claim to America than any other. Well, maybe the natives, but we pretty much fucked them out of everything. So get the fuck out Howlies, I want it back. English only, fuck you, you'll speak Dakota and like it. Your god damn lucky Never, 'cause now I got a hankering for hair.
(just in case you missed it, the last part was a joke)

 

[MyNecroticSnail]

When I read this poem, I wonder why the author is promulgating the image of Midwestern 'hicks.' That is, that of people from certain geographic regions as being uneducated, funny talking, Christian, and jingoists.

Moreover, what does this have to do with Superman? I can understand using that character as a symbol for the bias in conservative America or American imperialism abroad - if one is of a liberal bent - but the author doesn't seem interested in a serious expression or criticism of ideologies.

Honestly, I read this and I see someone who wants to ridicule certain segments of America for its close-mindedness but ends up showing how closed their own mind is.

so what does the last color of evil signify?

 

[flyguy69]

When I read this poem, I wonder why the author is promulgating the image of Midwestern 'hicks.' That is, that of people from certain geographic regions as being uneducated, funny talking, Christian, and jingoists.

Moreover, what does this have to do with Superman? I can understand using that character as a symbol for the bias in conservative America or American imperialism abroad - if one is of a liberal bent - but the author doesn't seem interested in a serious expression or criticism of ideologies.

Honestly, I read this and I see someone who wants to ridicule certain segments of America for its close-mindedness but ends up showing how closed their own mind is.

There is a horse. It is a dead horse. And on channel 6 you can watch it being beaten 24 hours a day.

 

[twelveoone]

There is a horse. It is a dead horse. And on channel 6 you can watch it being beaten 24 hours a day.

Don't you have boxtops to count? WTF was that about?

 

[MyNecroticSnail]

There is a horse. It is a dead horse. And on channel 6 you can watch it being beaten 24 hours a day.

Senses a little bit of bad blood.

I see no dead horses here,

unless,​

you're trotting out your wit

 

[MyNecroticSnail]

When I read this poem, I wonder why the author is promulgating the image of Midwestern 'hicks.' That is, that of people from certain geographic regions as being uneducated, funny talking, Christian, and jingoists.

Moreover, what does this have to do with Superman? I can understand using that character as a symbol for the bias in conservative America or American imperialism abroad - if one is of a liberal bent - but the author doesn't seem interested in a serious expression or criticism of ideologies.

Honestly, I read this and I see someone who wants to ridicule certain segments of America for its close-mindedness but ends up showing how closed their own mind is.

OK, we'll redo it without the vernacular. And in all sincerity I hope IT does become a dead horse.

 

[MyNecroticSnail]

A Fairy Tale

Along time ago (March-April 2006), in a place, well, here, a minister of justice asked a wandering minstrel (with a huge set of cojones stuffed in his cod-piece, but tastefully hidden under his tunic, yours truly) to check on the National forest and gardens, it being near the time of cherry blossoms. "Our place will be judged on well we tend the gardens and forests. See to it the cherry trees, the azaelas are healthy and ready to bloom See to it the sparrows, the nightengales are singing their pleasing songs of territorial splendor."
The minstrel set out, aghast, he had discovered that most of the pleasing and varied foliage had been choked out by kudzu, sumac and other clinging vine types. The songs of birds replaced by the incessant incestral croaking of toads. Dignitaries were being pissed on by the toads and not returning for fear of catching warts. The kingdom had been invaded by the Toads of the Short Forest*.
Sadly, this wandering minstrel(yours truly, who had a huge set of cojones stuffed in his cod-piece, but tastefully hidden under his tunic) reported back to the minister of justice the minister of justice. Justice demanded "What of the Royal Tenders, they have assured me that It can't happen here"Minister", says I, "everytime the Royal Tenders, and they are a brave lot, go out they are beaten senseless with blind sided platitudes and they have grown fearful of the numbers and the noise. Even humble, lovable I have been called 'asshole', 'Nazi', 'coward', and 'pussy' by the Big Croaker and his minions, even now as we speak, minister, they are preparing the big epithet 'SLANDERER'".

"GOOD GOD they can't possibly know what they mean. AND what are their numbers?"

"I don't know, minister," a little ashamed "it doesn't seem to be as great as they make it out to be, the Tenders have seen clever reflections on stagnant ponds and heard duplicate echos from dark grottoes confusing their issue. Even I don't know for sure. What am I to do, armed only with a flute and staff?"

With a look in his eye both fearsome and wrathful, the minister in a commanding voice said "Have I not tought you the magic chant of Pee-Wee Herman 'I know you are, but what am I?' The great cloak of mimicry? Have I not given you the special lense of undistorting?"

His great contence then softened with a wry smile "Besides your name is Caine, go out and raise some."

"So it shall be done"

So the minstrel hiding his huge cojones inside his cloak of mimicry was able to surprise the Big Toad flatulating in his adulation (or is it adulating in his flatulence) and very graciously and tactfully pointed most lovers of beauty just don't like being up to their ass in kudzu. And holding up the special lense he discovered that the multitude of grins were really just a few cracks of asses.

* Frank Zappa title
also Frank Zappa lyric from Help, I'm A Rock

WHERE IS THE PUBLIC APOLOGY TO DECAYED ANGEL?

 

[normal jean]

good morning, MNS

Hell, had I known that calling you a bunghole, ( after you called ME one, and just because I made a mistake) would land me in a parody fairy tale with Pee Wee Herman, I wouldnt have done it. And Because of all this stress, IM changing my name to Anita Goodfuck

I like your story, but dont understand it all.

IM sorry, Decayed Angel, that MNS can be a bunghole

have a nice day, minstraling, Sir

 

[MyNecroticSnail]

good morning, MNS

Hell, had I known that calling you a bunghole, ( after you called ME one, and just because I made a mistake) would land me in a parody fairy tale with Pee Wee Herman, I wouldnt have done it. And Because of all this stress, IM changing my name to Anita Goodfuck

I like your story, but dont understand it all.

IM sorry, Decayed Angel, that MNS can be a bunghole

have a nice day, minstraling, Sir

Don't be paranoid, you are not in here. Really, asshole is not that bad of a term. I liked it when he called me a coward, and even with just eight or nine, it is still eight or nine against one.

 

[MyNecroticSnail]

Trail of effluence

So many kiddie turds
In the littie box

And some call him
The Manx

is this too short?