He is scaring me.

[onewingedangel]

Last week for the first time in a long time I kissed a guy. No big big deal, but afterwards this guy gets all scary and starts asking me what I am doing the next day. I tell him I am seeing friends and he is all "how many of these 'friends' do you have?" This guy is trying to controll me and we really have only been out twice together. How do I let this fragile guy know that he is scaring me? He keeps calling and calling!!!!!

 

[perks]

same way you tell any person.

relax, I like you, but I'm really interested in keeping my independent space right now. It's what I need. I'm not ready to be the other half of a couple.

 

[onewingedangel]

relax, I like you, but I'm really interested in keeping my independent space right now. It's what I need. I'm not ready to be the other half of a couple.

Your right, but I have said that.. What if he is not getting the clue Perky?

 

[perks]

then you don't see him anymore. Unless you want to be scared.

 

[onewingedangel]

then you don't see him anymore. Unless you want to be scared.

Thanks Perky.

 

[Problem Child]

Gee, that was, like, easy and all.

 

[onewingedangel]

Gee, that was, like, easy and all.

Well, not so easy, I still have to seem him on campus.

 

[islandman]

then you don't see him anymore. Unless you want to be scared.

fucking blunt. no wonder i like you.

 

[Problem Child]

Well, not so easy, I still have to seem him on campus.

Wear a disguise. It's almost halloween, no one will be the wiser.

 

[Freya]

Just try to avoid him if possible - and if it gets really scary, that's what campus security is for.

 

[Guest]

Take a little drive with him and ask him to fill the tank at gas stations in and around DC area.

 

[onewingedangel]

Just try to avoid him if possible - and if it gets really scary, that's what campus security is for.

OMG, Freya replyed to my thread, I am soooo honored.

 

[onewingedangel]

Take a little drive with him and ask him to fill the tank at gas stations in and around DC area.

Lol ChilledVodca

 

[Freya]

OMG, Freya replyed to my thread, I am soooo honored.

Sheesh, ask anyone - it's not really an honour!


Seriously though, just be careful - he sounds a little weird.

 

[LordMagicMan]

Sheesh, ask anyone - it's not really an honour!


Seriously though, just be careful - he sounds a little weird.

Any amount of time with you is an honor

 

[superlittlegirl]

People who are grabby and possessive are scary. Especially the ones who "fall in love" with you after a ridiculously short peroid of time. Their tactic is to talk and cajole you into submission, but you do not have to submit. I would advise cutting all contact, now, because it only encourages them more if you try to compromise. If you feel scared, trust your intuition. Be polite, but firm.

 

[Freya]

People who are grabby and possessive are scary. Especially the ones who "fall in love" with you after a ridiculously short peroid of time. Their tactic is to talk and cajole you into submission, but you do not have to submit. I would advise cutting all contact, now, because it only encourages them more if you try to compromise. If you feel scared, trust your intuition. Be polite, but firm.

Which is why she's the smart Freya.

 

[bknight2602]

Just try to avoid him if possible - and if it gets really scary, that's what campus security is for.

I agree with Freya, avoid him at all costs. If he calls tell him you're not interested in him. If he can't handle it that is his problem, not yours!

 

[TWB]

I wouldn't fuck him.

nope.

 

[LisaFunOne1]

be careful... watch your back.... i dont mean to alarm you, but the last time i heard of something like this he turned out to be a stalker.... i know, youre going to say he isnt a stalker, well maybe he isnt. yet. he may turn into one if he is this possessive after two dates and a kiss

 

[onewingedangel]

be careful... watch your back.... i dont mean to alarm you, but the last time i heard of something like this he turned out to be a stalker.... i know, youre going to say he isnt a stalker, well maybe he isnt. yet. he may turn into one if he is this possessive after two dates and a kiss

This is so hard for me, cause my last girlfriend and I just broke from a great relationship because it was better for both of us... I am lonely and want to be with someone, but not at the cost of having a stalker. I want to be happy happy again.

 

[superlittlegirl]

If you just broke up with your lady, then you definitely need to steer clear of this other guy. People who want too much will suck you dry without a second thought, and your situation makes you that much more vulnerable. And I hope you didn't tell him too much about your personal life. I'm not telling you to be overly guarded, but just be aware that any personal information you offer can and will be used against you for manipulative purposes. Take some time out for yourself, and avoid this new person at all costs. It sounds like a disaster in the making.

Someone who is not willing to respect your limits and go at a pace you're comfortable with is a real danger to your mental well being. Especially so early on.

I know you're being cautious, but I encourage you to be doubly so.

Good luck, and be safe.

--Freya

This is so hard for me, cause my last girlfriend and I just broke from a great relationship because it was better for both of us... I am lonely and want to be with someone, but not at the cost of having a stalker. I want to be happy happy again.

 

[fgarvb1]

The ladies of Lit. have it right. Cut off all possible communition with this sicko person. This dude is the material that women abusers and stalkers if not worse are made of.

Listen to yourself! That feeling you had was fear and it was the right emotion at the right time.
That was the curent events in your life and all the tv reports and shows and your freinds along with all the stuff you have read about people like him.

If you don't look after yourself who will?

The best way to get uninvolved with a male/female like this is to NOT get involved to start with.

Cut your loses and run like hell!


luck to you.

 

[Starfish]

Last week for the first time in a long time I kissed a guy. No big big deal, but afterwards this guy gets all scary and starts asking me what I am doing the next day. I tell him I am seeing friends and he is all "how many of these 'friends' do you have?" This guy is trying to controll me and we really have only been out twice together. How do I let this fragile guy know that he is scaring me? He keeps calling and calling!!!!!

I have read what everyone has said, and what you said here, and I have to say go with your gut, but what exactly does inquireing about someone's plans for the next day, or asking about your friends specifically indicate to you that he is trying to control you?

They sound like simple questions to me.

I mean, maybe, just maybe, he is simply curious?


What other things did he say that made you feel odd?

 

[onewingedangel]

Re: Re: He is scaring me.

I have read what everyone has said, and what you said here, and I have to say go with your gut, but what exactly does inquireing about someone's plans for the next day, or asking about your friends specifically indicate to you that he is trying to control you?

They sound like simple questions to me.

I mean, maybe, just maybe, he is simply curious?


What other things did he say that made you feel odd?

It was more the matter of him angrilly learing at me as if I had slapped him or something, hearing that I had other friends I enjoy company with as he says "How many of these FRIENDS do you have?"