He doesn't like oral...

[kaysfantasies]

I can't understand why my fiance doesn't like oral- giving or receiving. He doesn't like the way I tasted when he tried over a year ago, and I did it once to him despite his protesting... ;-), but I haven't tried since.

He wants everything very "vanilla" while I want some sprinkles! Funny thing, he likes it when I shave or wax my pussy, but still that hasn't made anything get more exciting beyond that... any ideas on how I can make him relax and enjoy???

thx,
k

 

[SweetErika]

This is the first I've heard of any man not liking receiving oral, but I suppose it's possible he thinks all genitals are dirty or oral is wrong. I'm sure others will give great suggestions, but my advice would be to talk to him about this. Sit down in a non-sexual situation and have an open and honest discussion. Ask him WHY he doesn't like it. Ask him if it's something you're doing wrong and what you could do better. If you can't figure it out by talking, you need to think about whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with a man. Can you live with no oral and completely plain sex for the rest of your life? Do you want to live with a partner who you can't talk to about real problems and issues like this? After that, you may want to consult a marriage counselor and/or sex therapist...it sounds like there's more going on here than just not liking oral. A good therapist can help the two of you address the situation in a non-confrontational manner and come up with solutions. You owe that to both of you before you tie the knot.
Good luck!

 

[Metal_Monkey]

He wants everything very "vanilla" while I want some sprinkles! Funny thing, he likes it when I shave or wax my pussy, but still that hasn't made anything get more exciting beyond that... any ideas on how I can make him relax and enjoy???

thx,
k

Have you tried other fun things - like costumes and roleplaying and watching movies? When you say "vanilla" does that include positions and places as well as oral?

Regardless, I agree with SweetErika and I think it's important to talk about your mutual likes and dislikes before the marriage. Maybe he really doesn't like oral, but really wants something else and doesn't feel comfortable asking for a favor when he isn't granting any to you.

I hope it works out.

Edited for bad spelling!

 

[Astrum]

I'm a guy and I really don't like recieving oral... I don't know why but it just doesn't do it for me. Your fiance is crazy for not giving and liking oral in my opinion though .

 

[midwestyankee]

I can't understand why my fiance doesn't like oral- giving or receiving. He doesn't like the way I tasted when he tried over a year ago, and I did it once to him despite his protesting... ;-), but I haven't tried since.

He wants everything very "vanilla" while I want some sprinkles! Funny thing, he likes it when I shave or wax my pussy, but still that hasn't made anything get more exciting beyond that... any ideas on how I can make him relax and enjoy???

thx,
k

Talk this over before you marry. The Literotica bulletin board community is overflowing with people who had bad marriage experiences due to significantly different sex drives or interest levels between partners. Pay attention to the experiences of those who have gone before you. That is what civilization is all about: making life a little easier and better for the next generation.

Now, to be fair, some people manage just fine with major differences between the spouses. But most don't.

 

[kaysfantasies]

Thanks!

Thanks all- you gave me real food for thought about this- there must be something else going on as we said way back that there wasn't anything we couldn't talk about. I am going to get things going and reallyu lay it on the line... I have never met a guy who doesn't like oral )some actually preferred it) but maybe it's something else going on. Maybe it reminded him of a bad relationship or something? Who knows. But I really thank you for all the really fast replies- you rule!

k

 

[SweetErika]

I'm a guy and I really don't like recieving oral... I don't know why but it just doesn't do it for me. Your fiance is crazy for not giving and liking oral in my opinion though .

I learn something new every single day on Lit! I think it's uncommon for men not to like receiving oral, but the difference is in how you deal with it. There are some things my husband and I don't like, but we say, "Honey, you're doing a great job, but ___ just doesn't do it for me. Would you be willing to try ___ instead?" That approach has worked very well for us...no hurt feelings, continuing communication, learning and more pleasure have been the only side effects.

 

[kaysfantasies]

Yup, it's all about learning and trying new things- I guess together we are shy, but he reads about "stuff" as do I-- but I want to try it as he just wants to fantasize about it, LOL.

There are some things I would love to introduce that seem to do it for me, but step by step- that's a component of a relationship that grows... the gist of it is not to hurt anyone's feelings and to compromise and communicate.

Soon I'll get vanilla with sprinkles and maybe eventually ... hmm, some flavors could be taken the wrong way like fudge swirl!
Anyway, I forgot to respong to a previos post as to wha vanilla was- just basic intercourse, we do try other positions, we did try it in the shower- but we have a ehight difference and found out the hard way that some things don't work, he he... but hmmm, the shower could be used for other things... gives me an idea!

--k

 

[grrrlieone]

I had a dear friend that didn't like any type of oral sex at all. He was quite certain that he would never learn to like it. After being friends for many years and developing a great trust, he confided that he had been sexually abused on more than one occasion. And it had been done by a man and a woman.
Hopefully that isn't your man's situation. But sometimes we suffer traumas and can't get over them. We just move on and find out what we DO enjoy sexually. And avoid things that make us feel uncomfortable. Just another angle to consider.


-Grrrr

 

[77Cobra]

I Love oral giving and recieving.I cum so much harder and longer from being sucked off and nothing beats eating a fresh clean pussy that is nicely trimmed and a squirter is even better.It is really fun when the woman can get off from sucking you.

 

[StevenWill]

Work it out

Don't marry this guy until you work this out. Sexual compatibility is not something to ignore and incompatibility can breed resentment down the line. Good luck.

Dr. Steve

 

[DirtyJJ]

I can't understand why my fiance doesn't like oral- giving or receiving. He doesn't like the way I tasted when he tried over a year ago, and I did it once to him despite his protesting... ;-), but I haven't tried since.

He wants everything very "vanilla" while I want some sprinkles! Funny thing, he likes it when I shave or wax my pussy, but still that hasn't made anything get more exciting beyond that... any ideas on how I can make him relax and enjoy???

thx,
k

This may or may not apply to you - but as for the giving oral part, one reason he may not seem to like it is that he may be unsure how to do it well. I think I am dealing with this with my husband - over the years I have mentioned that I would like him to give me oral more often (I like giving it to him) and he says "OK" but rarely does it. Once I asked him if he dislikes it or has a problem with it since he doesn't do it often, and he said no - so my latest theory is that he is unsure about the best way to do it.

Well to that I say, just do it and I will let you know what feels good! That's better than not even trying.

So that may be a possibility... maybe he is shy about trying things he has less experience with.

On another note - I am constantly surprised by the number of women on this board who are the ones who want to spice up their sex life and are meeting resistance from their husbands! The steroetype is that it is the other way around - but I like hearing from other women who are not satisfied with the same old-same old.
DJJ

 

[firstclassmale]

think again

oral sex seems very important to meeting your sexuality and he declares he doesnt like it..there have been times when the experience was not as pleasant as I wanted although I enjoy eating a woman so much I overlooked it.we talked afterward and she washed herself and there was no issues..but I guess I would be very leary if he doesnt like oral sex even when its done on him you really need to talk your sex life out and factor this into the forever after ..

 

[firefighter02]

Buy him one of those things that swimmers use to hold thier nose shut.

If that doesn't work..??


Dump him and find a man that loves licking the kitty...mmmm shaved kitty...yum yum yum


The recieving thing?? Well..maybe it just doesn't work for him..I am one of those guys that you can go down and suck on me for months and ain't a bit of cum squirting out...I love it..dont' get me wrong..just doesn't get me over the edge.

FF

 

[vargas111]

I can understand a guy that does not like BJ's. It's a waste of semen and an orgasm that could be better used inside a pussy. What I cannot understand is a guy that does not like to give oral sex. What coud be beter that feeling a woman come with your face in her puss?

 

[PhilLusty]

I learn something new every single day on Lit! I think it's uncommon for men not to like receiving oral, but the difference is in how you deal with it. There are some things my husband and I don't like, but we say, "Honey, you're doing a great job, but ___ just doesn't do it for me. Would you be willing to try ___ instead?" That approach has worked very well for us...no hurt feelings, continuing communication, learning and more pleasure have been the only side effects.

good info Sweeterika.... hits a good point!

KF

my advice falls with some other comments, its important to make sure your ok , with what you want, and dont get, and also what you want to give but wont be recieved, it will cause problems, I know that for a fact!

I have faced sexual tension in my marriage because I wanted things, and have a wife who is happy with vanilla where i wanted lots of sprinkles, but we fiannly got to a point where we could discuss things and she has opened up, and has enjoyed the experimenting!!! we both love the new adventures...

and the other day as she was giving me a BJ, she shoved her finger right up my ass! I have wanted that for ever. needless to say I came right then and lots of it, and she swallowed the whole dam load, which was a first to!! ( she has been working on it for a while) it's all about communication, but you have to ready to accept what your partenr wants or in your case dosn't want before you commit to marriage!

Good luck

phil

 

[GetItWet]

I love my oral, so if you need practice let me know

 

[PhilLusty]

I can understand a guy that does not like BJ's. It's a waste of semen and an orgasm that could be better used inside a pussy. What I cannot understand is a guy that does not like to give oral sex. What coud be beter that feeling a woman come with your face in her puss?

ummmm wasted orgasm???????? never knew there could be such a thing! and seamen looks good sprayed all over her body, so I'm not to sure the only good place is in the pussy!!!

but to each its own I always say!!!!!

PHIL

 

[PhilLusty]

Re: Re: He doesn't like oral...

This may or may not apply to you - but as for the giving oral part, one reason he may not seem to like it is that he may be unsure how to do it well. I think I am dealing with this with my husband - over the years I have mentioned that I would like him to give me oral more often (I like giving it to him) and he says "OK" but rarely does it. Once I asked him if he dislikes it or has a problem with it since he doesn't do it often, and he said no - so my latest theory is that he is unsure about the best way to do it.

Well to that I say, just do it and I will let you know what feels good! That's better than not even trying.

So that may be a possibility... maybe he is shy about trying things he has less experience with.

On another note - I am constantly surprised by the number of women on this board who are the ones who want to spice up their sex life and are meeting resistance from their husbands! The steroetype is that it is the other way around - but I like hearing from other women who are not satisfied with the same old-same old.
DJJ

ummmm DJJ... maybe he just needs a teacher? I love to teach!!!

LOL

PHIL

 

[Spenser41]

My 2 cents

I think you all have a possible serious problems. At this time, you are just engaged. BUT if you do not get this fixed, you will be a very unhappy woman and you are looking at a divorce before to long. I am speaking with great experience, and I strongly recommend that you two sit down and talk about this BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED. And DO NOT Think you can CHANGE HIM!
More women are unhappy in their marriage because they THOUGHT they could change him and it did not work.
If you are not happy with your sex life now, it will only get worst after the marriage.
Your guy has some serious sex issues. It could be because of abuse or strong religious teaching that oral is bad. But I would have a very very long talk about this before you get married.
The two things that break up a marriage is money and sex. For most of the time, it is the men who are not getting what they want, but I am telling you, if you marry him knowing that you like it more on the wilder side and you do not get that need meet and you go with the milder side, you will always wonder what you could have had.
Do not be in a rush to get married, work this out or walk away, because you do not want a marriage, with kids down the road, where your needs are not being meet.

 

[ecstacey]

I can't understand why my fiance doesn't like oral- giving or receiving. He doesn't like the way I tasted when he tried over a year ago, and I did it once to him despite his protesting... ;-), but I haven't tried since.

He wants everything very "vanilla" while I want some sprinkles! Funny thing, he likes it when I shave or wax my pussy, but still that hasn't made anything get more exciting beyond that... any ideas on how I can make him relax and enjoy???

thx,
k

u can use flavored lubricants on your vagina so instead of it tasting like piss/rotten fish. it can taste like vanilla or choclate.

 

[firefighter02]

Re: Re: He doesn't like oral...

u can use flavored lubricants on your vagina so instead of it tasting like piss/rotten fish. it can taste like vanilla or choclate.

OK..is it just me..or am I the only one who has never eaten a pussy that tasted like piss or rotten fish??

And believe me...I've eaten a lot of pussy....

 

[DirtyJJ]

Re: Re: Re: He doesn't like oral...

ummmm DJJ... maybe he just needs a teacher? I love to teach!!!

LOL

PHIL

Yes, maybe that's it!
Let the lessons begin!

 

[vargas111]

Never met a pussy I didn't like.

I like a pretty strong feminine aroma, not a flowery, soapy taste.

Of course the WORST (exception to the first sttement) is pussy of a woman who smokes. Now THAT is rank!

 

[Valcorie]

Some guys don't

I'm a guy and I really don't like recieving oral... I don't know why but it just doesn't do it for me. Your fiance is crazy for not giving and liking oral in my opinion though .

My husband doesn' t care for oral either. Giving or reciving. It is not that I am bad at it or do anything wrong when giving hima blow job. It just isn't his cup of tea. So we only do that a couple times a year.

You can try talking and figuring out if there is a reason he doesn't enjoy it. Perhaps there is issues he needs to deal with. If he just isn't very into it, don't worry about it too much.

Best of luck