Having sex standing up

[CuriosityCanKill]

My lovely boyfriend and I have very few problems, especially in bed. He is definitely The One; he even made me believe in the term. We love each other and have explored many sexual fantasies and even taboos together. You name it, we've done it.

While he is definitely gifted down below, unfortunately he is unable to use his gift while standing up (and sometimes even on his knees, i.e. doggy style). With previous partners, some of my favorite sex moments were in a position standing up or bent over a bed/desk/counter/car...

So obviously, this is very frustrating for me. I obviously do not want to embarrass him in any way, but I have to seek whatever advice I can get.

Has anyone else had this problem? Can anybody explain why this happens? And please dear God is there a solution?

EDIT: I guess I'm subconsciously avoiding the literal wording of the real issue. The problem is he can't keep an erection while in these positions.

 

[PublicAffection]

What exactly is the issue? Is he having difficulty getting erect while standing? Is there a height issue? Is he having difficulty cumming while standing? Trouble staying in?

 

[Lil_Squish]

You might wanna explain in a little more detail what the problem is? Is it uncomfortable, is it a stamina problem, can he not get deep enough, more info will get better answers

Edit: too quick for me Public lol

 

[CuriosityCanKill]

What exactly is the issue? Is he having difficulty getting erect while standing? Is there a height issue? Is he having difficulty cumming while standing? Trouble staying in?

Oh, I'm so sorry for not clarifying. He cannot keep an erection while in these positions. Laying down or with me on top, he's perfectly fine. But rarely can he last a minute or two without losing it while standing up or on his knees.

 

[PublicAffection]

Have you asked him about it? Generally these questions are best asked when you are not having sex (and not about to have sex). You might ask if there isn't enough sensation for him in that position, or if he has negative feelings about taking you in a standing or kneeling position I.E. he is uncomfortable because he feels it's wrong for some reason.

I once dated a guy who said he felt like an animal when we did it doggy-style... all he could think about when we had sex in that position was cows, horses and dogs humping and the thoughts in his head made it impossible for him to enjoy it.

I'm not saying this is your man's hang up, but you might ask him gently what he feels like when you make love in those positions and if there is anything that you can do to make him feel more comfortable with it or enjoy it more. And if he says that he isn't into it for one reason or another, try to find a new position you can both enjoy together.

 

[PublicAffection]

You might wanna explain in a little more detail what the problem is? Is it uncomfortable, is it a stamina problem, can he not get deep enough, more info will get better answers

Edit: too quick for me Public lol

Great minds think alike

 

[banes27]

One possibility is that he's simply frustrated by something, possibly a height difference making it difficult or even difficulty of movement or balance. Personally I have a bit of difficulty with balance while doing doggy and there's too much of a height difference between me and my fiancee for us to have sex standing up. If the balance problem gets a bit to much I start to feel a bit weird in my movements and as a result I get a bit frustrated and on occassion I have, if I don't change position quick enough, started to lose it. That's just me though and it might be completely different for your guy.

Now, one position we've found which solves my problem during doggy is for her to lie down on her front with her legs together whil I sit/lie on top with my legs on either side of her hips. One site online calls this the "jockey". It's also good for anal I've found

 

[PublicAffection]

If it is a height difference thing, I would like to add, easy fixes are everywhere. If you're too short and he's too tall, buy some sexy platform high heels to make up the difference. If he's too short and you're too tall, play "delivery boy" and have him wear work boots while you're barefoot or have you kneel on a footstool while he stands flat-footed.

The "jockey" position mentioned above is one of my favorites

 

[shhhshhh]

He should probably see a doctor. That could be an indication of circulatory problems.

 

[Labe_Lover]

Try giving him a blow job while he is standing and you are kneeling on a pillow.

 

[Epmd607]

This is a pure question for a doctor issue. This guy has circulation problems, especially if he's under 60. The only reason a dude can't get a bone while standing is medical.

 

[CuriosityCanKill]

This is a pure question for a doctor issue. This guy has circulation problems, especially if he's under 60. The only reason a dude can't get a bone while standing is medical.

How serious could it be?

 

[silverwhisper]

i wouldn't be so quick to worry about medical issues if other positions don't present such problems, frankly--esp cowgirl/female superior or other instances where bloodflow might logically be compromised. i cannot imagine how his blood flow could possibly be constricted while standing up.

if you're really keen to try, perhaps a (properly-sized!) cock ring might be in order?

i also think it might be worth asking if he's ever tried those positions before and if so, what his experiences might've been.

ed

 

[RunningJib]

To be frank

How serious could it be?

This doesn't make any sense. Why would his arosal be determined by his position?

I think this is all in his head.

If you are nuts for the guy, its time for a frank discussion. You need to tell him your turn ons and why. The ladies that I've been with all have enjoyed 'doggy' for a variety or reasons. The smaller ones (those that I've been able to support) enjoy stand-up sex.

With a bit of help, support and patience, I'm certain you can help your SO get over his difficulties.

As a suggestion, get behind him when he's standing up, talk / whisper naughty little things in his ear and give him a hand-job he won't forget . . .

 

[Man_in_Chester]

I like the advice by RunningJib but it might just be a medical problem. Or he just loves to see your face - and needs your constant visible approval that much!
Can he lift you up and let you down gently in place or does he need to practice lifting grocery bags and then armchairs? I cannot lift my wife that high anymore, or at least not for long enough to position her.
Stand up sex (if you are facing the cooker) can be ideal for a man and wife after work.

 

[RunningJib]

Consider this position

This doesn't make any sense. Why would his arosal be determined by his position?

I think this is all in his head.

If you are nuts for the guy, its time for a frank discussion. You need to tell him your turn ons and why. The ladies that I've been with all have enjoyed 'doggy' for a variety or reasons. The smaller ones (those that I've been able to support) enjoy stand-up sex.

With a bit of help, support and patience, I'm certain you can help your SO get over his difficulties.

As a suggestion, get behind him when he's standing up, talk / whisper naughty little things in his ear and give him a hand-job he won't forget . . .

He's sitting down and still in you "backwards"

 

[RunningJib]

A Hand Job begins like this

This doesn't make any sense. Why would his arosal be determined by his position?

I think this is all in his head.

If you are nuts for the guy, its time for a frank discussion. You need to tell him your turn ons and why. The ladies that I've been with all have enjoyed 'doggy' for a variety or reasons. The smaller ones (those that I've been able to support) enjoy stand-up sex.

With a bit of help, support and patience, I'm certain you can help your SO get over his difficulties.

As a suggestion, get behind him when he's standing up, talk / whisper naughty little things in his ear and give him a hand-job he won't forget . . .

Start behind him

 

[fuckmeat]

This is a pure question for a doctor issue. This guy has circulation problems, especially if he's under 60. The only reason a dude can't get a bone while standing is medical.

There's a possibility that this guy could have problems with his blood pressure. One symptom of that is a 'postural drop' or BP dropping when a person stands. A fall in BP could then explain his inability to stay erect.

I expect your guy would rather not discuss erectile problems with his GP but a set of routine blood tests and a BP check could rule a lot of things out or flag up a very treatable problem. Most young men I know won't go near a medical professional until they're 75% dead so I'm willing to bet he hasn't had a routine check-up in a while. Sounds like it's time.

 

[shhhshhh]

How serious could it be?

If he's having poor circulation through his legs when he's standing, he could have PAD, which is what killed my Aunt about 5 years ago.

 

[satindesire]

There's a possibility that this guy could have problems with his blood pressure. One symptom of that is a 'postural drop' or BP dropping when a person stands. A fall in BP could then explain his inability to stay erect.

I expect your guy would rather not discuss erectile problems with his GP but a set of routine blood tests and a BP check could rule a lot of things out or flag up a very treatable problem. Most young men I know won't go near a medical professional until they're 75% dead so I'm willing to bet he hasn't had a routine check-up in a while. Sounds like it's time.

This is 100% true. Getting him to go to the doctor for this will probably be like pulling teeth, but it's necessary if you want it resolved.

 

[BrazenFellow]

If your sex life is that good I'm pretty sure it's not you or him. Some sexual things may be that you're simply tighter or arranged in such a way that you're too good to last long on from behind or while standing. Additional pressure is placed on the penis in these positions and it can be too much for some guys, particularly if their legs are together. See if him spreading his feet shoulder width apart (good while standing: greater stability, especially when you start thrashing mid-orgasm. Bad form to drop the girlfriend) does anything for him while standing.

I know that while standing, my staying power is lessened as a function of my woman being so damn good in that stance. He can either temporarily desensitize himself by masturbating with a tighter-than-normal grip, or you can make an effort to relax your pelvic floor muscles and hopefully that alleviates the issue for him. I haven't discussed this with my woman, I probably should, but like nearly all males I tend to avoid discussing anything that makes me seem to be less of a superstud than I am.

So, to amplify Satindesire and Fuckmeat, get the medical side of things checked out. There's no shame in it. I have massively muscular legs as a result of what I do for recreation, and if I sit for a long time on suboptimal seats I often end up with both legs asleep as a result of the pressure placed on my femoral artery. Didn't know what was wrong until a doc checked me out thoroughly. And a large part of the reason I did was because of a good woman insisting that I get checked so that she could continue to see me outside of a coffin. Don't fuck around with circulation issues, they can be massively severe, particularly if there's a genetic predisposition (as in my family) towards heart or other cardiovascular problems.

 

[RunningJib]

Here

Start behind him

Always helps to have a user's manual

And after a while, I'm certain you can get very handy . . .

 

[RunningJib]

Consider A Cock Ring

Oh, I'm so sorry for not clarifying. He cannot keep an erection while in these positions. Laying down or with me on top, he's perfectly fine. But rarely can he last a minute or two without losing it while standing up or on his knees.

A cock ring will add a couple of things to your relationship. Not only will it introduce toys to your romance, it will help him keep his erection

 

[blade_rocknut]

Does his manhood bend downward when erect? If so, this may be causing him discomfort in these positions- My wife & I can't do doggie style without her head buried im the bed, back severely arched. Standing is almost impossible for us because of my shape. It doesn't typically hurt me but is painful to her. That said, I believe some guys are more sensitive to their member being " bent backwards" than others. I may be way off, but noone else mentioned it, so...