Have you have had a bad experience with BDSM ?

[Richard49]

If so what was it?
Why was it bad?

 

[SexyChele]

Not in real life. But then, my experience is not as great as many others here.

Online? Yes, too many to go down that road again. Somehow the idea of talking with a man for one evening, after which he states, "Consider yourself collared. You are not allowed to talk to any other men without my permission," just leaves me cold.

I'd be interested in seeing who else responds. Should help to learn quite a bit!

 

[Avery_Chisholm]

yes men who thought they could take advantage

 

[Richard49]

yes men who thought they could take advantage

How do you see them trying to take advantage?

 

[Iceyskye]

Yes...there was this so called Domme who IMO just used submissives to get free house cleaning and such. She claimed to be my friend and mentor and when I stood up to her and said I wasn't her slave but there for her guidence her attitude with me changed. Before that thought I had asked her to show me what it was like to get flogged. We were at a munch/play party when she decided it was time to show me. Rather than say no I wasn't comfortable with her anymore I went through with it. It became a battle of wills...would I cry out and use a safeword before she stopped. Needless to say I didn't and she finally stopped after she broke the skin on my ass. Oh, her idea of after care was someone get Skye a chair..she looks like she needs to sit down. Then had someone bring her her wrap and fawn over her. She was pissed that I didn't give in and made her look like a fool for not stopping before she hurt me. I guess me being bull headed didn't help matters either....but if I'm going to respect you..you had damn well earn it. Just cause you call yourself a Dom/me doesn't mean you instantly get my respect. And don't use the "title" to make someone feel inferior or get them to do your house work. Submissive does not equal door mat. Hell get a damn maid.

Skye

 

[Shadowsdream]

One of the nipples clamps that I have has plastic covering the little handles...when I was attaching them to the slaves nipples My fingers slipped on one of the clamps and the nipple became nicked...LOTS of blood and screaming in pain and surprise!
That has been My worst experience, which sincere apologies and after care were able to overcome on both sides within minutes of the small tragedy.

 

[MoonduskSub]

Have I ever!! I wont share the worst of the worst, but a bad scene indeed that dealt with handcuffs. Of course the Dom I was seeing was as new as I was and well that doesnt make a good mix..but a wonderful learning experience. Anyways I was cuffed, hands behind back in police issue cuffs. They have a little hole on the sides that locks the locks so they do not move and clamp down harder which he made sure were locked. He laid me on my back....oh the metal digging in your bottom doesnt feel good to begin with, but gagged you can't really protest. He continued to go about what he was doing but my big ole bottom got the locks to slide down and CLAMP!! Ouchy!!! LOL. The scene ended there....lesson here.....
Common sense is a beautiful thing


Moonie

If so what was it?
Why was it bad?

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

I contracted with a Dom on a training basis for a set amount of time. At the end of that amount of time, I was not comfortable remaining with him for a longer term. While I had learned alot from him, I am not a masochist and he was very much the sadist. I found this out towards the end of the time I subbed to him, as he misrepresented himself to me.

I felt like I played it pretty safe, getting to know him. The time frame could have been stretched out much longer is the only thing I would have changed. We met through Bondage.com, corresponded for a month or so, talked by phone a few weeks, then met using all the usual safeguards for a lunch, then dinner. Spent a day together just hanging out at a local theme park. Did a huge amount of talking about limits, so on and so forth. Throughout it ALL, he misrepresented himself as to how much of a sadist he was.

After the month was over, I went my way, he went his way, except...he didn't go his way. He continued to try and contact me, and essentially began to stalk me. During the time I was with him, I always kept my home phone number private, and only met him at his home. Good thing. I ended up having to dump my email account, change screenames, and block his number from my cell account to get him off my back. He definitely got out of control.

Bad experience? Yeah, overall. There were a few up sides. I gained some very valuable knowledge about myself as a sub from him. And once again, I learned some VERY smart things about what NOT to do.

~Anelize

 

[Ebonyfire]

Dishonesty

I have been lucky. My BDSM experiences have been positive, but some of the relationships were not so good. The subs I dealt with were either dishonest or they did not really know what they really wanted.

No one was physically hurt, no one was psychologically damaged, but parties were really pissed off, and as a result of the anger, we did not part friends.

Just like in vanilla life.

 

[WynEternal]

Overall, I've never really had anything I would call a bad experience, but many eye-openers. My lesson? When I started out, I was way too nieve.

 

[Richard49]

bump

 

[WynEternal]

Oh, and the misfortune of becoming aquainted with a "Dom" who abused subs by promissing them the world (as if they were in a serious relationship) then pulling the rug out from underneath them. I wasn't involved with him in any way, but for a time, he always wanted to know where either I or my Mistress was.

But other than that, only things that happened were minor accidents that a little salve didn't fix.