Have you ever thought about wanting to lick a HAWK's genitalia?

[Ginny]

<chuckling and winking at the turtle>

"BIRD FUN! Hold your fist so it is still pointing up. Keep the bird facing away, and always be aware of his strike zone. Next, find his tail and get under it. This will scare the bird at first, he does not know what your trying to do. You will have to play chase the tail for a while until you get a few licks in.

When the bird spins his tail around, you can twist your arm, and bring him back towards you. Always keep your face out of the strike zone. If it is too dark, use your free hand to feel for his tail. Or better yet, crack the bathroom door some to gain just enough light. You must always be aware of what end of the bird you have at all times. It is real easy to loose an eye if your not aware of what is going on. Seriously, it is a GREAT idea to wear safety glass when doing a hawk. No joke.

Eventually, you will get one good lick in, and the bird will wise up to what is going on! Then, he will stop twisting around on your fist and let you have fun! It is hard to know where your at on a bird. Feel with your tongue. The area you want is located just above the two end bones under the tail. Use your lips to feel for the points of these bones and wet the feathers around the area just above it. When you hit the right spot, the bird will do one of two things...."

for more hawk loving tips:

http://packman.ianszoolinks.com/hawk.htm
http://www.actaeon.org/faqs/birdsexfaq.txt
http://packman.ianszoolinks.com/goose.htm

the guy's serious....apparently birdophilia.....is....an...actual...perversion....<nodding>


edited to correct links

 

[Ginny]

oh fuck...<tickled>...this guy likes geese as well....

"Let me clear up one thing first. From the guys, I am constantly asked "how do you get it in?" Well, YOU DON'T! You can seriously injure a goose if you penetrate it. The tissue inside is very thin and if it ruptures, the goose will die within 24 hours. I know from first hand experience. Due to society and their fucking prejudices against zoophiles, fact files like this were not vailable. I ended up killing an animal out of pure ignorance. Don't let this happen to you! It really hurts to loose a lover like that. Anyway, you are going to have to have "outercourse". This pretty much means you will have to do your thing, while you please the goose. It's tempting, but PLEASE, don't attempt to have intercourse with a goose."

http://packman.ianszoolinks.com/goose.htm


gives whole new meaning to the expression "goosed".....

turtle is gonna snort.....

 

[Wiggles]

Wrong! This is wrong!

 

[sabbathstorm]

How the hell did you find this stuff? What would possess a guy to be this "involved" with birds?

 

[ksmybuttons]

No, can't say that I have. Now that I have thought about it, I will probably save it until it is one of the last things I would ever do...

Ginny, you just have no boundaries do you? I like that in a person.

 

[Zamdrist]

Tears are rolling

oh fuck...<tickled>...this guy likes geese as well....

I can't stop laughing, the tears are rolling down my eyes I'm laughing so freaking hard. This is HILARIOUS.

Hawks? Geese? What next the neighbor's macaw?

Wouldn't it be a hoot to post this somewhere where bird watcher's gather? Watch them all freak out.

 

[Zamdrist]

What would possess a guy to be this "involved" with birds?

It's the feathers, trust me.

 

[sabbathstorm]

It's the feathers, trust me.

My thought would be to get a feather duster

 

[Zamdrist]

My thought would be to get a feather duster

Yes. Feather dusters work nicely. I'm up for almost anything that feels good.

 

[Hamletmaschine]

Ginny, if you start a "hot little bird buttholes rock" picture thread, I think we'll have to stage an intervention.

 

[tortoise]

OMG that is the funniest thing I've seen in a LONG time!

"It's tempting, but PLEASE, don't attempt to have intercourse with a goose."

Words to live by, boys and girls. Words to live by.

 

[tortoise]

From the goose sex link:

STEP THREE
The goose will quickly bend his tail down and will hopefully be pushing directly into your mouth. -- BE CAREFUL!!-- When the goose orgasms, the penis will shoot out under a fair amount of pressure. During my learning process, the first time this happened, he moved and I got ejaculate shot up my nose. The second time, I got it shot down my throat and it caused me to choke! (yes, I did enjoy choking on it!).

 

[Ginny]

Re: Tears are rolling

I can't stop laughing, the tears are rolling down my eyes I'm laughing so freaking hard. This is HILARIOUS.

<laughing>.....makes ya wanna go get a couple of those sexy twenty dollar geese, huh?.....

 

[Ginny]

Ginny, if you start a "hot little bird buttholes rock" picture thread, I think we'll have to stage an intervention.

hmmm...i wonder if they have any pics out there in cyberland (you know the HAWK has a buttload of bird porn stashed away)....wonder what a lil bird butt reallyyy looks like....<pulling up google>....

 

[Zamdrist]

Re: Re: Tears are rolling

<laughing>.....makes ya wanna go get a couple of those sexy twenty dollar geese, huh?.....

$20? Is that all? Hmmm. And to think, one could spend $200-$300 on Angela the blonde and busty escort.

I am on a budget.

 

[Ginny]

nothing like a lil ticklefit after a hot session of phonesex, huh love?

for you my darling.....<winking>

http://www.eroticarte.com/images/galerias/mitilogia_erotica/1.jpg

Peter Paul Rubens, Leda and The Swan

(Zeus liked dem portly chicks, too....must be a Z thang)

 

[Ginny]

Re: Re: Re: Tears are rolling

$20? Is that all? Hmmm. And to think, one could spend $200-$300 on Angela the blonde and busty escort.

lmao @ you zipping to the feed store today....of course you could just go to a local park with a pond....nab ya a few for free....local newspaper headline: "Geese Are Disappearing From Local Ponds At An Alarming Rate".....big pile of DEAD geese (you couldn't resist intercourse) in your closet....<tickled>

 

[Zamdrist]

(Zeus liked dem portly chicks, too....must be a Z thang)

It's not fair you make me smile and laugh so much! Pooey on you!

On a side note:

...and that Aflac honey always has done it for me. The sleek white feathers, perfectly orange beak, and the humor...that's always a good thing in a mate, err goose.

 

[unclej]

chickens are pretty sexy too but you have to squeeze their little necks to get them to tighten up....(eggs, you know)

 

[Ginny]

another Leda....for female birdophiles out there....

http://dalisalvador.republika.pl/12b.jpg

Salvador Dali, Leda Atomica

<continuing on in my bird butt photo quest>

 

[Ginny]

yeppers....the turtle zipped off to go see Lord of the Rings AGAIN....and....i'm..well....i'm looking for bird anus pics....yessirree...just go ahead and send the guys in white jackets, ham....i'm actually perusing bird anatomy science crap...looking for an actual bird anus photograph.....but looky what i found.....this stuff is fucking hysterical:

essay on rooster semen havesting:

"It is much easier if you have two people collecting the sperm. I usually collect by myself, one hand is used to hold the head of the cock between the little finger and the fourth finger, then the thumb is used to arch the tail back. The other hand is used to squeeze the anus, and because we don't have another hand, I use my teeth to hold the capillary tube. I am careful not to block the end with my tongue or anything else (and don't suck back what ever you do) otherwise the automatic capillary action will not work. On many occasions I have found the cocks sperm to dry up once he starts feeding the chick, this may be to protect the chick from his father attacking? So if you wish to continue using sperm from a cock it is best to remove the cock before he starts to feed the baby chicks."

diff one:

"I felt compelled to include in this exercise a slide showing the anus of a chicken. This was a direct result of some student feedback, which convinced me that it had to be done.
Some years back I received a course review from a student who felt very strongly on the subject. The extensive comments--which were typed, by the way--included the statement that, 'I feel it was an incredible waste of my time to look at this slide. Why are we asked to spend $1000 to look at chicken anuses?'"



at least the stuff is just making me laugh...not arousing me....umm....yet....

 

[Black_Bird]

ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS ASK FIRST!!!

Geez - I feel so damn violated.

 

[Ginny]

ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS ASK FIRST!!!
Geez - I feel so damn violated.

<laughing hard>.....mann....when i posted that last thingy....i saw your name on a thread underneath this one....thought to myself...aawww shit....blackbird is gonna see this and think i'm being insensitive about bird butts....


<click click>.....thanks for the moon!

 

[Zamdrist]

Thanks Ginny, sheez!

at least the stuff is just making me laugh...not arousing me....umm....yet....

I'll never be able to watch 'Chicken Run' again with the same eye and mindset. Thanks!

 

[Ginny]

Re: Thanks Ginny, sheez!

I'll never be able to watch 'Chicken Little' again with the same eye and mindset. Thanks!

zam cutie....why the hell am i flashing to you hopping into your car....after you slap a "Goosebusters" magnetic sign to your car door....zooming to your part-time job at the local goose ranch...getting the geese ready for Easter dinner tables across the country....

how many goose butts do you think you could do before you came?....at let's see....$5.00 a kill....you could rack up the bucks....<tossing a bottle of viagra>....


i better go nap...<nodding slowly>...