Have you ever been unsuccessful in your chores deliberately?

[Osacar]

And did your dom realise?

 

[seela]

Yes, back in the very early days with J when I didn’t know how to communicate my needs.

The reaction was a simple “I’m disappointed in you, go and do what I told you to do or is there something that’s stopping you from doing it.” And that’s how I learned that disappointing and not meeting the expectations is awful and not something I want to play with, because I felt absolutely shitty afterwards.

When I returned after having done what I was supposed to do in the first place, we talked about what had happened and why and that helped us communicate a lot better and taught us both things about each other and ourselves.

 

[Osacar]

Yes, back in the very early days with J when I didn’t know how to communicate my needs.

The reaction was a simple “I’m disappointed in you, go and do what I told you to do or is there something that’s stopping you from doing it.” And that’s how I learned that disappointing and not meeting the expectations is awful and not something I want to play with, because I felt absolutely shitty afterwards.

When I returned after having done what I was supposed to do in the first place, we talked about what had happened and why and that helped us communicate a lot better and taught us both things about each other and ourselves.

Yes.., non communication is really a turnoff spiral, luckily a positive save.

 

[Boat1]

And did your dom realise?

No, I haven't done that intentionally.
My Wife/Domme and I began our relationship as each other's "support group" after a mutually shared tragedy.

The Domme/sub aspect of our relationship came about naturally, organically, rapidly, and unexpectedly, as neither of us had lived that lifestyle before. (I really don't like calling it a "lifestyle." Saying that we gave ourselves to each other, is more accurate.)
To be honest, I'd rather lay on a bed of hot coals than to ever hurt or disappoint Her.

 

[Dirtygirlndeer]

Just one of the many things I enjoy about you.

 

[Osacar]

Any one else who like to share their thoughts on this?

 

[NancyPan]

I have never not done my chores to the best of my ability on purpose, and I would not. I am very invested in pleasing HER and I want HER to be happy with me. Although SHE will give me consequences (most often this is withholding of oral worship of HER and extension of time between my spurts), SHE has and will use other consequences if I disobey, but these are generally preserved for attitude. Regarding chores, if they are not done to HER standards, SHE will show me what SHE expects and have me do them over. SHE has had to train me to do many household chores that I did not do until our dynamic changed several years back, for example cleaning bathrooms, so SHE has been patient in teaching me how SHE wants housework done.

But, bottom line, I am motivated by my desire to please HER, not a fear of consequences, and of course I am always hopeful that SHE will allow me to worship HER.

 

[kara_cd_sissy]

Topping from the bottom is just asking for trouble

 

[lilmissdarling]

Gotta test those boundaries some times... or some times just be a brat.. for funsies (within reason of course.)

 

[PaxNurgle]

If I ever cannot fulfill any commitment, I would let them know ahead of time, and apologize for not being able to honor that commitment- whether it's chores, or anything else I had promised to do or been obliged to do. To simply flake out and not do it, or deliberately do a shoddy job of something, goes against my core values of honoring commitments and being respectful.

That should be a part of ANY relationship, whether vanilla, or heck; even a non-romantic one. You say you're gonna mow your friend's lawn and he's counting on you mowing his lawn and you bail (or do a half-ass job), what does that make you look like?

Or, if the point is being willfully disobediant just so you can incur some kind of erotic punishment, what's the point of that? If you want to be punished, why should your partner reward failure? If I was a dominant, and my submissive intentionally and unapologetically screwed up "just to see what would happen-" they'd just be ostracized, given the silent treatment, rather than "Shack! Smack! You bad boy, you screwed UP!"

 

[Osacar]

Yes, it’s a useless way of communicating expansion, a lose, lose situation, and extremely disappointing and frustrating…, I was just asking for commentary support, thanks everyone.