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How does that type of relationship work when there is no sex? Is it mind control? Could you please explain how that type of relationship works?
 
I have one of those relationships right now. And it's not online, it's in person.

It's not about mind control, but I don't know if I could explain it to you.
 
Well it would be about other types of Domination, not just sexual Domination...Not every D/s or BDSM scene involves sex
 
There are D/s relationships that are based upon acts of service, which are not necessarily sexual. There are a gazillion ways to serve, that have nothing to do with sex... even D/s relationships which do include sex, there is probably a signifigant amount of time spent in (technically) non-sexual service. For example, I make J a perfect cup of coffee every morning, help him keep track of his schedule, make sure his favorite things are always in the pantry, etc.

One also has to decide what their definition of "sex" is, within a BDSM context. If you are bound, teased, flogged, and climax because your partner wishes it, but actual intercourse doesn't occur - did you just share a sexual event?
 
I could not unless I had another outlet for sex. It just turns me on too much.
 
Marquis said:
What are we, aphids?

The answer is no.

Can you have one without sex, no. I count getting really foaming at the mouth excited over something and wanting to get off as sex.

Can you have one without fucking, yes.

I guess you could have a pure service situation without any sexual charge...but I at least want to tease and frustrate.
 
Then again, we could just hijack the thread and entertain ourselves by parsing the meaning of "sex."
 
Anwser

IMO- No you cannot have a D/s relationship without sex but recently I was speaking with a Domme and she told me she has never had sex with any of her male Subs durring a scene and I thought she was crazy but I guess to each thier own ..
 
SubKekiLee said:
IMO- No you cannot have a D/s relationship without sex but recently I was speaking with a Domme and she told me she has never had sex with any of her male Subs durring a scene and I thought she was crazy but I guess to each thier own ..


LOL, I always remember what I was told by a Dom in the days when I was looking...'It is not about what is between the legs, it is what is in your head...if you think from your crotch, D/s is not the priority you are looking for'. It was a good way of sorting out a lot of what I was experiencing from certain Dom's and made me more sure of what it was I wanted and needed. Sex can be part of the equation, but it also does not have to be included at all.

Catalina :catroar:
 
A local dom that I have a lot of respect for never has sex, with anyone. He's obviously a very sexual person with very sexual energy, but he chooses to exercise that energy through other forms of play, which I suppose could have a lot to do with why he's so good.

He's like the blind swordsman of BDSM.
 
catalina_francisco said:
LOL, I always remember what I was told by a Dom in the days when I was looking...'It is not about what is between the legs, it is what is in your head...if you think from your crotch, D/s is not the priority you are looking for'. It was a good way of sorting out a lot of what I was experiencing from certain Dom's and made me more sure of what it was I wanted and needed. Sex can be part of the equation, but it also does not have to be included at all.

Catalina :catroar:

Yeah I was told by my dom that your biggest sexual organ is your BRAIN/MIND and I agree I choose to have sex as part of my relationship but you can choose not to as well to each thier own..
 
Marquis said:
A local dom that I have a lot of respect for never has sex, with anyone. He's obviously a very sexual person with very sexual energy, but he chooses to exercise that energy through other forms of play, which I suppose could have a lot to do with why he's so good.

He's like the blind swordsman of BDSM.

Yeah, so much for my overwhelming self-control. More power to 'im.
 
If we are talking possibilities...of can it exist or not, I think the answer is yes it can and does exist.

I think the real question is can it exist for you?

Sexuality is, or can be a very strong driving influence in your life. If this is the case, I would have to say that no its not possible for a D/s relationship without some Sexuality. Notice I use the word sexuality and not sex. This is because...stroking the sexual libido doesn't have to involve sex. As others have said, the mental and emotional aspects of D/s can be quite satisfying. Whether these lead to physical sex. My personal philosophy is that for a person to experience all that D/s has to offer, you need all three - mental, emotional and physical.

Where you lack in either one of these three it is often considered a deal breaker for most because it just ins't enough to satisfy them.

So the question is to ask youself honestly if sexuality is a big part of who you are? If so the answer is mostly likely anything that doesn't cover this aspect of who you are will not be satisfying enough for you.

Sexual dominance is only a part of D/s, but to me it is an important part and must be involved, even if it is just to comannd someone to masturbate, its about controliing some aspect of their sexuality and them submitting to my desires.

I don't know if I made any sense of this at all I seem to be very scattered today in my thinking. Hope I answered some or part of your question.
 
SubKekiLee said:
IMO- No you cannot have a D/s relationship without sex but recently I was speaking with a Domme and she told me she has never had sex with any of her male Subs durring a scene and I thought she was crazy but I guess to each thier own ..


I only restrain myself in ProDomme situations...
Other than that I agree writerdom...It doth turn me on too much!
 
Marquis said:
A local dom that I have a lot of respect for never has sex, with anyone. He's obviously a very sexual person with very sexual energy, but he chooses to exercise that energy through other forms of play, which I suppose could have a lot to do with why he's so good.

He's like the blind swordsman of BDSM.


Thread hijack:
Marquis...Love the new avi!
 
Netzach said:
Can you have one without sex, no. I count getting really foaming at the mouth excited over something and wanting to get off as sex.

Can you have one without fucking, yes.

I guess you could have a pure service situation without any sexual charge...but I at least want to tease and frustrate.


This would be me, too.

A domme friend manages two boys who are in a service mode to her. She rewards them for service with play. It's not fucking, but the erotic energy is there in all the forms of BDSM play. My girl comes easily from caning. Orgasm denial during impact play is pretty danged erotic.

I don't know how I could get the sex out of it, actually.

But some of us find almost everything sexual anyway. There is that, I suppose.

For me, etc.

Respectfully, ST
 
hmm, i guess you dont have to have sex. I mean the purpose for having a D/s relationship is for the submissive to please the Dom. If you are cabable of pleasing him, and doing what he asks, than go for it..

but then again, why wouldnt you want to have sex with your Dom.
I get such a powerful orgasm everytime with my Dom. Hmm, speaking of this now, i hope He gets home soon..lol
 
Netzach said:
Can you have one without sex, no. I count getting really foaming at the mouth excited over something and wanting to get off as sex.

Can you have one without fucking, yes.

I guess you could have a pure service situation without any sexual charge...but I at least want to tease and frustrate.
I agree with this. Personally, D/s or BDSM in general revolves around sex. For me, that's the main reason for it. I don't enjoy dominating outside of the sexual realm, unless it's going to enter the sexual realm at some point.

So, sex plays a large part of it, for me. I do think it's possible for there to be no sex or no sexual overtones, but I would have to ask why. Where's the fun in that?

And as for fucking...that is not really necessary, in my opinion. Orgasms can be caused in several different ways, with only touching and depending on the person, sometimes without touching. Pain can sometimes cause orgasms, too.

Also, the submissive must be naked, or at least partially so, for it to be fun for me. And, bondage has a lot to do with it for me, also. Everything revolves around the sexual control, the sexual domination, the sexual denial, humiliation and don't forget the forced sexual aspects.

But, fucking? Although I do enjoy it and anal sex is considered a form of fucking, it's not always necessary in a D/s relationship. But, again...why not?
 
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