Hating Sex

[Kemet]

I have come to the conclusion that I hate sex, it is nothing but a burden to me. Has anyone else ever had feelings like these? Is there a way to overcome them? My life at the moment is not stressful at, and I was raised with a very healthy view of sex. So I am not sure where this problem is coming from...

 

[fallon2]

Yikes

. . . Speechless . . .

Oh, My answer? No, never been a burden to me or . . . others.

Good Luck, though!

 

[tigerjen]

Perhaps there's an underlying problem that you may not
even be aware of?

I wish I had an easy answer for this


tigerjen

 

[BlueSugar]

ok. I'll step up.

Sometimes my libito crashes and I don't even want to think about getting naked, even infront of a mirror to take a shower.

Or it'll be much deeper of a problem (which possibly may be your problem) it is the person, it is having too much or being stuck in a rut of the same kind of sex the same routine.

Sometimes taking a break from it all is the best thing to do.
or
Spice it up and do something different.

Just... whatever you do, and how ever you feel... if you are dating someone, talk to them, sometimes it isn't even sex related, its communication.
And if you're not dating someone, maybe its your body/mind telling you to slow down and meet someone

 

[Willing and Unsure]

ok. I'll step up.

Sometimes my libito crashes and I don't even want to think about getting naked, even infront of a mirror to take a shower.

Or it'll be much deeper of a problem (which possibly may be your problem) it is the person, it is having too much or being stuck in a rut of the same kind of sex the same routine.

Sometimes taking a break from it all is the best thing to do.
or
Spice it up and do something different.

Just... whatever you do, and how ever you feel... if you are dating someone, talk to them, sometimes it isn't even sex related, its communication.
And if you're not dating someone, maybe its your body/mind telling you to slow down and meet someone

I second this.

 

[fille]

I went through that during my first marriage. It took me a long time to figure out that I hated him, not sex in general. Are there relationship problems that might be expressing themselves as a desire not to have sex?

 

[Kemet]

No I wouldn't say so, my relationship with my fiance is wonderful, and I love her to bits. That is one of the reasons why I am so confused.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

I kind of felt like this awhile ago. it turned out that I was really unhappy with the relationship, like really deep down and I just hadnt realized it. after we split (remained friends and such) I was a lot happier. sometimes the little fears that we have stay hidden and you wont realize it's there for awhile or what it is and they affect us in different ways.

 

[Spenser41]

My 2 cents

You maybe having a reaction to some meds you are on. If you are planning on getting married soon, the stress of planning the wedding will kill the drive as well.
You might want to consider talking to a counselor. There could be some else going on that could be bothering you that you can't put your finger on.
But best of luck... I am sure you will find out what is going on soon.

 

[flyindolphine]

i used to hate sex in all its shapes and forms, i looked at it more as a job then a pleasure. And thats where i went wrong, instead of seeing it as a fun game where you can play around with your partner, i looked at it as something that i have to do to please him and avoid and argument. Also another reason was that i never told him what went wrong and faked the orgasm, which is a very very bad idea. you got to teach your boy how to give you pleasure that sex would go from "not again" to "yay".

 

[Weird Harold]

I have come to the conclusion that I hate sex, it is nothing but a burden to me. Has anyone else ever had feelings like these? Is there a way to overcome them? ...

Tough question.

Most of the previous answers are possibilities, but it's very hard to pin down something like this.

I think my first step would be a a review of everything else in your life that has changed in approximately the same time frame as your libido crashed -- "stress" isn't always obvious to the person it affects, especially a "delayed stress." This could be something your subconcious picked up on that you didn't take notice of consciously.

Since you're engaged, it could be subconscious worries and/or uncertainty about your future -- Are your current financial prospects going to be sufficient to put a dozen kids through college? What are you going to say when it comes time for The Talk with your teenage children? Will you be a good parent? -- because being engaged and having sex are going to inevitably get your subconscious mind thinking about children (even if you are protected against pregnancy and don't ever plan to have children.)

On the subject of possible parenthood, have you and your fiancee talked about children? -- how many, when, spacing, genders desired, etc.

Has there been a change in your diet? Not necessarily a recent change, or a big change, but something that you've stopped eating in the last year or so or something that you've started eating a lot more of? Changes in diet can lead to changes in your vitamin and mineral intake, which can lead to vitamin imbalances and deficiencies which can lead to loss of libido, depression, physical stress, etc.

Something as simple as anemia (too little irron in your diet) can caue a lack of energy and a coresponding lack of interest in vigorous activity -- like sex.

If you can't find any possible cause by a self-review, the second step is a medical check-up -- there are hundreds of medical conditions that can cause depression or loss of libido and hundreds of medications that can cuse the same sort of problems. This could well be a physical/bio-chemical problem.

If you can't discover a cause by reviewing your current situation and how you got to it and there's no medical/physical condition that is detectable, then the final step is a shrink.

Of course, a lack of libido isn't generally fatal, so you could always just ignore it and adapt your lifestyle to fit -- that choice does tend to be a bit hard on relationships, though.

 

[SlvrTongueDevil]

All the previous responses just goes to show the general high intelligence level of the lit crowd - a lot of good ideas. I don't have anything better to add. But need to ask a question ... why does someone who's disinterested in sex sign up for the Lit forum? Seems a strange place to hang out.
Conversely, suspect there are a lot of folks out there who aren't interested in sex ... but they don't sign up for a sex forum.

 

[Kemet]

I used to be interested in sex, but in the last couple of weeks I have noticed this development.